[Red Moon]

STRICTLY WAY IN FRONT, OK?

It's TV's sensational Saturday night showdown. The battle is on. X Factor v Strictly Come Dancing.

Score so far: Factor - nil, Strictly - two.

To be fair, ITV's talent search "spectacular" is fighting the ratings war with a big fat Sharon Osbourne-shaped concrete block tied round its ankles.

If Simon Cowell isn't furious over the obscenely self-obsessed Mrs O's outrageous hijacking of his show, then he damned well ought to be.

While this ego-maniacal old bat was staging her amateur-hour tantrum and turning the first live episode into a shambolic circus, the Beeb's dazzling dance-off continued to maintain the highest strictly professional standards

An unrepentant Ma Osbourne, 95, insisted: "I can't apologise for being me."
Why not? Because you should.

Talking of losers who need to say sorry, GMTV's strictly bum dancer Kate Garraway and her two left feet are on a one-way waltz to disaster.

Consumed by justifiable doubts over her sex appeal, calamity Kate said: "I just want to prove that the people who have voted for me have backed the right horse."

Make your own jokes! But while Strictly has its donkeys, it also showcases emerging stars Alesha Dixon, Penny Lancaster and - still twinkle-toed after all these years - fat ex-footballer John Barnes.

Adding A-list sparkle, in the audience are Penny's superstar husband Rod Stewart, Kelly Brook's Hollywood hunk Billy Zane, and - conspicuously supporting Albert Square duo Letitia Dean and Matt Di Angelo - half the cast of East-Enders.

This slick BBC operation oozes confidence. Which is more than can be said of the X Factor.

I still like Cowell's annual knock-out marathon (from here to nativity).

And, sure, it was funny to see loony Sharon unravelling after finally realising she hasn't got a clue.

But, for it to work, this competition needs to be taken seriously. If all we're doing is laughing at a superannuated bimbo strutting off stage squawking, "I've left the show" (if only!) the entire production is up sh*t creek.

Meanwhile, new host Dermot O'Leary suffers from "OK" Tourette's Syndrome.

In 20 minutes on screen, O'Dreary saturated his stream of cliches ("you've been on an incredible journey") with 86 OKs. I counted them (sad, I know).

"Ok, welcome back to the X Factor ... OK, one of you will be eliminated, OK, OK, OK?... OK, let's have a look at your highlights OK?..."

Just stop saying OK! OK? But one astonishing contestant provides a beacon of hope.
Among the truly underwhelming no-hoper finalists, there is a shining star.

Remarkable Rhydian Roberts has an electric presence that gormless girl-next-door Leona Lewis could only dream about.

He won't win. He's not boring enough. But, with his towering peroxide hair and that amazing voice, it's hard to take your eyes off this guy. It's called charisma. Something for the rest of the wannabes to think about at the job centre this time next year.

Including crybaby Niki Evans. That X Factor application form sobbing Mrs Gloom keeps saying she found among her dead dad's possessions?

How does she know it wasn't for him?

Source:Sunday Mirror