[Harry!]

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BLATHER: 1) "Unfortunately I cannot give my blood to Rio ... but I will be back, for sure."

Naomi Campbell explains that she can't donate blood in Rio de Janeiro to help combat the dengue fever epidemic because officials there fear her explosive bad temper might be contagious.

Naw, just kidding. It's because they found out she's a vampire.

2) "Our trip next February encompasses the issue of child sexual slavery in India. We also deal with helping AIDS victims. She has made it clear she definitely wants to come along."

Lindsay Lohan's dad, Michael tells InTouch that Lindsay is getting ready to do missionary work in India. LOL. Oddly enough, Miss Lohan's spokesperson says that's not true.




3) "We get a modestly talented dancer who likes clothes and was lucky enough to engineer her way into one of the biggest girl groups in the world."

An unnamed fashionista expresses outrage that Posh Spice/Victoria Beckham is on the cover of British Vogue.

4) "There is a witch hunt for people to be pregnant whenever they get engaged in Hollywood ... I mean we're engaged, that's true, and happy about it."

Part of an e-mail sent by Pete Wentz to MTV news, denying that fiance Ashlee Simpson is pregnant. Luckily, nobody gives a stuff, although it is a bit daunting to think of these two reproducing.

DRIVEL: 1) "This real cop gave me some phone book techniques. So I took the phone book and hit The Game around the head with it."

Keanu Reeves describes how he hit The Game with a phone book for his new movie, Street Kings. Do we have to spell everything out for you, people?

2) "We eat! And we hang out at each other's houses. We don't go out that much actually. We just do normal girl things when we're alone -- we have a meal and a catch up."

Eva Longoria explains (to OK!) that she and Victoria Beckham actually do eat, although it appears they have to set a date to do so.

3) "I'm not inhibited to take my clothes off in movies, because I think movies are a reflection of life, and in life we are naked a lot of the time -- at least I am."

The oft-nude Ewan McGregor offers the naked truth to the Times.

4) "In England, people don't like me. But I'm going to move to America, Los Angeles, hopefully ... I'll be better off in the States."

The somewhat delusional Heather Mills thinks she'll have an easier time in the U.S. than she's had in England. According to the New York Post, Mills was booed and hissed by the audience when she turned up in Vegas as a judge for the Miss USA pageant.