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TiggyRumpton · 30-06-2008, 12:05 PM

What animals would you liken the housemated to? Here are mine:

Jen: Queen Bee.

Has a harem of devoted males who do her every bidding. Has an almost Blessed Virgin Mary/Madonna- like status among her followers, who will die for her if necessary.

Dale: The male Drone bee.

Robotic non-thinker programmed to serve the queen with unswerving and unquestioning devotion, and to protect her at all costs.

Bex: Rottweiler Puppy.

Young, big, bouncy and lovable, until you upset her, when she will become highly volatile and unpredictable. Poor handling and discipline coupled with irresponsible breeding will see her revert to type and become a vicious snarling beast who'd rip your throat out, or maybe hit you with a WKD bottle. Nice. Wouldn't like to bump into to her in a Cov nightclub after a few bevvies. Good job Darnell saw the light.

Mario: Labrador

Reliable, trusty, man's best friend, highly trained, ('I've been on residential courses') and generally used as a guide dog for the blind.

Lisa: A sloth.

A Sloth's movements are so seldom and so slow as to be almost inperceptible to the human eye. An almost total lack of animation means that moss and algae actually forms on its body. Its eyes are set in a trance-like, unblinking stare. It lacks animation and facial expression to such an extent that it is often necessary to hold a mirror in front of its mouth to check for signs of breathing, as it could easily be mistaken for dead, or for a waxwork.

Mikey: A mole.

Blind, with skin so white you wonder if he's been starved of daylight in an underground tunnel his whole life. Also possesses freakishly long, non-humanoid white fingers which he holds in front of his body in a bucket/shovel shape as if he's ready to start burrowing any minute. Go ahead, Google a few mole images. Doppleganger hands, trust me.

Rachel: Hmm, tough choice here. Could be Mother Hen, clucky, matronly, caring. Or perhaps the 3 Wise Monkeys. See no evil, Hear no evil, speak no evil.

Kat: Giant Panda.

Oriental, cuddly, peace loving and non-predatory, with no natural enemies whilst safe in her own environment. Put in a cage next to hyenas however....

Dennis: Llama

An entertaining character who looks deceptively gentle and docile but is not to be underestimated. If you upset him he'll spit in your face.

Stuart: A peacock.

Preening, proud, vain, prettier than the girls.

Steph: An Afghan Hound

A pedigree looker; with long flowing blond tresses, and long legs, but just about the dimmest breed of her species, and stubborn with it.

Rex: A Fox.

Red colouring, wily, cunning, sharp, cool in a crisis. Much maligned and persecuted, has adapted out of necessity to become a solitary figure, a survivor, self-sufficient, constantly watching his back, always one step ahead of the baying pack of hounds who are all fired up on one another's bloodlust.

Mo: A spider, because most of the housemates hate him and would prefer him to be out of the house even though he never did anyone any harm.

Sylvia: A Lioness

From Africa. Feline, graceful and sleek, with a regal superior demeanour, she is a relentless and calculated predator.

Darnell: An Owl.

Wise, fair, dignified, and reserved. He mostly preserves his energies and contains his thoughts, though when necessary he is capable of swooping with a deadly accurate stealth that hits the spot every time.

Luke: A chameleon.

Chameleons are though to be deaf, and have no sense of smell, which is the only way to explain why he has recently aligned himself with the ****-stirrers who talk constant crap.
Chameleons are capable of changing their colour to adapt to their environment, or to express different psychological states of mind. The have very quick tongues.

Alex: Sewer Rat. No explanation needed.