[Hooly One]

VANESSA

LIKE many a pretty lady, her downfall began when she opened her mouth. Jason vowed to walk if she was evicted fingers crossed then.

SHELL

MAYBE Glasgow student and new cook Shell will treat the gang to fine local cuisine, such as deep-fried veg or rubber-chicken curry.

NADIA LIKE the Portuguese football team, she is looking more like a winner. After what her nation did for us this week, we should back her.

MICHELLE IT turns out our Geordie strumpet auditioned for Pop Idol but Simon Cowell decided to plump for a more attractive idol, Michelle McManus.

DANIEL THE first hairdresser to have an IQ of more than a single digit. The words 'Are you going on holiday this year?' have never left his lips.

AHMED HIS new effortless style shows his bark was worse than his bite not always the case, as can testify from the 118 stitches on my leg.

MARCO I think he is from a distant future in which man's popularity is judged on his ability to perform Disney songs and resemble aliens.

STUART AS a non-smoker with an affection for cowboy gear, you have to wonder how this public schoolboy survives the outside world.

JASON HIS 70 minutes' grooming a day can't hide the fact he is a balding, ginger, fat, shiny hobbit who has worn a dressing gown for a month.

VICTOR HE has been vocal about the lack of toilet roll. I do sympathise, as he must get through loads with his constant verbal cack.

Daily Record