[Hooly One]

Jason has been registering stunned displeasure at his new monicker: 'The Gasman'.

He has apparently trumped his way to the title, but wasn't about to take this slur lying down in front of the gang's new housemate Becki.

He immediately bit back, shouting at main accuser Shell, "Excuse you, you're a farter as well!"

Victor was there to back up his main man. "Yeah, Shell is very gassy!"

"Vanessa was the same," blurted Jason, astounded that he seemed to be getting all the blame for the House's special aroma.

Dan had to attest that this was indeed true, and told them of the time V and Michelle composed a trumping chorus.

Blissfully unaware of the stench that was approaching, Dan and Shell had been sat on the patio, taking in the night air....

"Michelle was there, Vanessa was there and they just kept letting rip!" he told the amused crowd. "It was symphony in A-flat minor," remarked the bottom burp expert.

"A-pump minor," suggested Shell.

"Did you hear them?!" asked Jay, who went on to groan loudly in disgust, clearly pleased of the chance to deflect attention away from himself and his windy bowels.

It's too much for Jay


Waxing whimsical on windy situations, Dan, clearly amused at the prospect, wondered if anyone had ever let off in their car, got stopped by the cops and had to roll the window down.

Shell offered another stinky scenario. "You've done one in your car and you come back to it and it's still there!" she exclaimed.

"Or you've done one just before you go and pick up a friend," offered Dan to the giggling bunch.

"Vanessa was like 'I keep pump spray just for that'," laughed Shell, adding that it was a bit "over the top."

But she was unrepentant about her own night time gaseous guffs.

"See it's cosy in that bed - I just let rip, you know...," she said with a shrug. Former bed buddy Vanessa simply "had to suffer the consequences".

"But she'd have her expensive perfume out, going spritz, spritz, spritz..."

What's a little wind between friends, eh?

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