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AngRemembered · 10-10-2008, 01:08 PM

Just when you thought all had gone quierte on tibb then BANG along comes the most challenging task yet in this unique and most in depth look at real family life.

A "normal" family The Nomat'tes (pronounced Nomatez) will for the first time ever invited all into there homes for the next 13 weeks of breathtaking fly on the wall family life.
The family consists of

Father..Mr LuvLuva he's 47 and works as an executive producer on shows like Eastenders, Holby City and Silent Witness, he claims Mexican royal decent and insists he's 167th in line for the throne of Mexico.

Mother....... Lauren she's 44 a loyal hosewife, supply teacher and over burdened mother to 6 children 4 girls and 2 boys.
She's not had a breakdown yet, but has been rushed to hospital 17 times on false alarms.

Annie 21 oldest daughter who has 3 times almost left the home through marriage only to be dumped at no less than 3 churches, she's messed up but not half as much as she should be. She's currently a part time glamour model and dancer at a club in the local village.

Sia 20 just got her first job shes actually turned up for (a week) at a pet shop, she also has a new relationship with a bi sexual city banker called Rupert

Hannah 19... The Rebel she had both girl friends and boy friends at an almost alarming rate of 4-5 a week since leaving school at 15..engaged 27 times the last fiance is now inside Wandworth Prison serving 15 years for arson and kidnapping, she works as a tele sales opperator (so she says) from home.

Christina 15 The angel and "wonder" daughter.. (everyone wonders how the hell she is considered anything to do with this familly at all) a hard working goody two shoes who is studying hard to become a scientist, she also wishes to work with the needy in Africa.

Shaun 18 Turning his life round slowly having been expelled from a county record of 15 schools he now intends to find a job and settle down, his plan is to apply for jobs in alphabetical order using the yellow pages as a guide.

and finally Billy 15 (a product of Dads fling while Mom was away but thats a very touchy subject) He's a bright young man in spite of the chaos around him, and just formed a band(billy plays drums) with his friend Callum called The Hooligangs. Billy intends to work in the music industry when he leaves school.

So thats the Nomates familly, and coming soon you will see them in action everyday in all situations coping with everyday life.
Be sure to see Shaun's weekly bath routine, Hannah cooks Italian, The ambulance emergency, the Jehovah Witnesses pay a visit, the BNP party leave a flyer, neighbour Ross is on the vote scrounge again, is Sia pregnant or just after yet another day off on Tuesday.
There is never a dull moment within the Nomates familly home

Annie · 10-10-2008, 01:10 PM

Oooooo this looks good

Annie · 10-10-2008, 01:17 PM

Cant believe I have been stood up three times on my wedding days.. I am very unlucky in TiBB love

Mrluvaluva · 10-10-2008, 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Angiebabe

Father..Mr LuvLuva he's 47

How dare you!

AngRemembered · 10-10-2008, 01:50 PM

Day 1 .......... Thursday 6:15 am

Bathtime

The Nomat' tes familly have been gathered in the lounge for a de-brief on how to get oldest son Shaun to his weekly bath. Dad has insisted on the early meeting to make sure the exersise goes to plan after last weeks shocking balls up saw Shaun escape out the back door normaly guarded by Christina who at the time was tending to a seemingly homeless butterfly. Shaun ran off to his friend Magic's house and wasnt returned home for 3 days.

Dad... "Ok, are we all here now"?
Familly ...Yes dad
Mom. Of course we are love, you can see us for gods sake.
Dad... Please love ,, dont make this more difficult, we have to get this right today, lets work together for once ..OK?

Everyone rolls there eyes, and there is a brief muttering amonst the sleepy group.

Dad.. Right glad to see everyone in there protective stab vests and protective helmets,,, errrrrrrrmmmm... Christina where your helmet love?
Christina... Oh dad is it really important I have school soon and its double history first thing.
Annie, bunk it Tina I always did, history is a subject thats never going to change, catch up next week,?
Christina... I cant do that

Getting really frustrated now Dad steps in

Dad... Ok girls stop it now...go and get the helmet Christina and hurry up.
The familly wait..

Billy.. "dont know why we bother I'd let the smelly minger rot for another week"
Mom.. Oh Billy dont be so cruel
Dad..yes thanks Billy dont forget we had this trouble with you too, and it worked, so we carry on.

Christina arrives putting on her helmet, and Dad flips over the blackboard with a detailed room by room map of the house drawn on it.

Dad.. Ok people this is the plan, at 6:30 am we strike quickly before Shaun properly wakes, Sia you will guard the front door no one goes out or comes in clear?
Sia... Crystal..dad
Dad........ Christina, back door and this time no distractions..clear
Christina....... yeah yeah whatever
Mom,,, darling do we need all this honestly?
Dad... YEs, I think we do, after last week we agreed it would NOT happen again, now please ... we ALL need to take this seriously.

The giggles subside...

Dad... Annie you will take up Shaun breakfast to his room and place it on the table and then take up the rear to prevent him running back and shutting himself back in the room... clear
Annie...YES DAD!!!
Dad... Hannah you will be in the bathroom behind the shower curtain ready to run the bath once the subject is restrained and covered, clear?
Hannah... Crystal dad
Dad, Billy once he's in the bathroom and I have a tight grip on subjects shoulders, you will then restrain the subjects legs with my snake belt uncle Ted got me from Las Vegas last August, you know the cr*p looking fake leather one...
Mom...Excuse me, but my brother does not buy rubbish
Dad, I'm joking petal,, relax ok dear,, I'm sure its genuine.
Billy,, (under his breath) and I'm sure its plastic
Dad.. you clear Billy
Billy, on the belt.. yes Dad very clear ..(he laughs)

Dad....... Good, and finally darling if you'll follow Annie into the room and were using the story of can you help find my contact lenses that have fallen in the sink bait, to get the subject into the bath.
Mom... yes honey, and I wish you'd refer to our son as Shaun, hes not a subject.
Dad... Just following procedure sweet heart, thats all, I want this done properly, OK swat team, take your positions and syncronise watches, it is now 6:26 am exersise will comence at 6:30 am.. are we all clear?
Nomat'tes Familly.... Crystal!!!!
Dad, Ok team take up positions and good luck

The Familly huddle together for a group high 5, before seperating to thier positions... Shaun remains snoring in the boys bedroom.
Annie starts the short walk upstairs with a bowl of Sugar Puffs and half a bannana on a tray.

The End........... for now

Annie · 10-10-2008, 01:56 PM

OMG! Ang I love this

Mrluvaluva · 10-10-2008, 01:57 PM

Can I make one thing clear. I have never had sexual relations with Lauren.

Annie · 10-10-2008, 01:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mrluvaluva
Can I make one thing clear. I have never had sexual relations with Lauren.

Yeah you did! How you think we came about? Cabbage patches?

AngRemembered · 10-10-2008, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Annie
Cant believe I have been stood up three times on my wedding days.. I am very unlucky in TiBB love

LOl, awwww things may turn round now

Mrluvaluva · 10-10-2008, 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Annie

Yeah you did! How you think we came about? Cabbage patches?

Ok. I never wanted to mention this , but you were ADOPTED!

hannah. · 10-10-2008, 02:24 PM

hahahahaha

AngRemembered · 10-10-2008, 03:16 PM

Day 1............ Thursday 8:12 pm

Emmergency

The familly have had a good day, Bathtime went to plan and Shaun got to his interview smelling nice at the Accountants firm.
Christina sailed through the double history lesson the rest of the familly had a normal uneventful day.
The Nomat'tes familly have had supper and just finished watching Eastenders, when Dad is disturbed by the endless thumping noise coming from the boys bedroom.

Dad..... FFS what are them pair doing now, cant we ever have peace in this house.
Mom.... Oh love don't spoil a good day, they're boys probably playing leave them.
Dad... I'm sorry I no can do... they got to learn discipline...(he shouts)
Oi you pair keep the noise down or I'll come up and bang your bl**dy heads together we clear?

there is no reaction, but the thumping continues...Dad rushes to to hallway door almost knocking Annie over.

Dad... Errrrrm Annie, can you explain to me why you are carrying what seems to me a bucket of blood round the house?
Annie.. It is blood Dad, its the boys they really have banged there heads together the bunkbed YOU alone put together from MFI has collapsed and Billys badly cut and I think Shauns broke his nose, Sia has been banging the floor trying to get some help but you ignored her.
MOm..Oh my god, my babies... why didnt anyone say anything... move out the way LuvaLuva (she shoves past) this is an emmergency.
Annie...Its only there heads Mom, its not like there going to get brain damage
Dad... Annie tip that blood in the outside drain quickly.... Christina !!!!! call the ambulance NOW!!!!
Christina..... Oh cant Hannah do it Ive got biology homework to do, she just texting people on Sia's mobile.
Sia... What?????!!!!!!
Mom... its nothing.. forget it we have this to deal with.
Dad... Christina I'm dissapointed in you its a phone call, I'm not asking you to do the familly shopping.. can we have some co-operation?
Hannah... its ok Dad I'll call
Dad. thankyou

Dad makes his way upstairs where Mom and Sia are tending to the blood bath in the boys room.

Hannah (on the phone) ..... Yes, ambulance please.. number 41 Nomat'tes.... ( theres a pause) no, its pronounced Nomatez not No mates (she rolls her eyes and mutters ******wit under her breath)
Ok, thanks...
They're on there way Mom

Mom... Thanks precious... you go and have a lie down now sweety, you must be exhausted with all this extra burden.
Hannah... awww thanks Mom
Sia... She made a friggin phone call for gods sake, not performed brain surgery like I have for the last 20 mins, how comes she gets a rest?
Mom.. lets keep her sweet hey, she doing well we havnt had a knock on the door from any strangers now claiming to be her fiance for what 3 weeks now?
Dad... yeah thats true.... she does deserve a lie down.
Sia (under her breath) lazy bitch

Billy starts to regain consciousness...

Billy.. what hit me?
Dad...It was your brother he fell on top of you when the bunk bed collapsed
just relax now you have a bad cut... ambulance on its way.
Mom... Awww look at shauny he's just like the day I gave birth to him silent and peaceful and covered in blood, awwwww bless

Dad...Sia (roll eyes, with a look of is she for real on there faces)

8:27 pm The ambulance crew arrive, and are let in by Christina (eventually).. (she sucks her top lip loudly as the ambulance crew pass her at the front door entrance)
They make there way upstairs, and are greeted by Mom Dad Sia and Annie (who is still holding the bucket of bood, as she went outside had a fag and forgott to empty the bucket)

Paramedic..... So we have 2 patients a Shaun and Billy Nomates, well its just as well we are here for you then hey..(he sniggers)
Dad...Actually the surname is Mexican royalty and its pronounced Nomatez.
Paramedic...Oh I am sorry..

The familly (stiffle a laugh, and all look to Dad knowing his kidding himself over the name will never ever change)

The end...........for now

Mrluvaluva · 10-10-2008, 03:21 PM

LMAO

Annie · 10-10-2008, 03:26 PM

Gutted that I am smoking.. shocking!

hannah. · 10-10-2008, 03:28 PM

im looving this

Chemicle · 10-10-2008, 03:32 PM

Ooooh, thats really good Angie !!

They all sound a wee bit too casual lolol.

AngRemembered · 10-10-2008, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Chemicle
Ooooh, thats really good Angie !!:spin
They all sound a wee bit too casual lolol.

Casual,, its day 1, just you wait

Tomorrow's highlights include... The Jehovah Witnesses come a knocking..... and Hannah cooks a surprise familly Italian meal... with a difference

Day 1 concludes, the familly go to bed as Shaun and Billy recouperate overnight on ward 3, they will be back home tomorrow.

SiaSiaSia · 10-10-2008, 03:51 PM

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA i love you ange

AngRemembered · 11-10-2008, 09:46 AM

Day 3........................ Saturday 9:17 am

Preachers arrive and a real shocker is delivered.

Its the weekend the Family are recovering from and recouperating from the accident on Thursday both casualties are now home with minor bumps and bruises but in good health.
Christina managed to finish her homework. Hannah has helped Mom put the bunk beds together... Annie and Sia have been out Friday night and managed to come home wearing each others clothes which has completeley freaked Dad out.
Its breakfast time now, on the morning after, all the Family are seated when Dad walks in.

Dad......... Morning all
the family look up briefly then continue eating
Mom.... morning love
Dad... oh someone speaks, what about the other mutes
Christina.... you said not to talk whilst eating
Dad.. Dont get smart Cinderella, or you too will be in trouble like the 2 ugly sisters over there.
Annie....... Oh you still moody over last night, so what we swapped tops get over it.
Dad... I will discuss this later, and it wasnt just tops it was underwear too, I know because your Mom still labels your clothes.
Sia... WTF (oops sorry language) MOM!!! we're not 5 anymore
Mom.... Its not all your clothes, and thanks love for blaming me.
Dad... This chat will wait till later.. I want to know how this happened we will have a meeting at 1pm sharp.

At this point Billy is thumped by Shaun on the arm..

Billy ...Ouch you little Sh*t, that hurt (he thumps Shaun back)
Dad... pack it in now.. or both of you are grounded for the Spurs game today... clear?
Hannah..... thats hardly a punishment now Dad, Spurs are rank everyones trying to get grounded when Spurs are at home including the players

The door bell rings before Shaun can reply and the arguing stops for a moment...

Dad.... Christina get the door love.
Christina..... Oh cant Hannah do it I'm listening to a tape for an assignment for French class..
Hannah... hah.. good one Tina..your excuses are getting better (under her breath ....) still a lazy cow though
Christina... Dad tell her
Dad.... Hannah get the door please

She does but makes sure the kitchen door is slammed as she rushes to open the front door, and she's back within seconds.

Hannah... Its for you Dad, Jehovah Witnesses
Dad..... Jehovah who, and whats he done, you know anything about this Billy

Billy shrugs his shoulders and recieves another elbow from Shaun.

Christina... its not a police witness, they are a religious group.
Dad... Oh, another bl**dy band...we have enough noise here as it is, send em up the community centre.
Christina.... no not that sort of group... they are preachers, probably want you to have a bible study.
Dad... well I'll give em soddin bible study (he gets up to leave)
Christina (under her breath) idiot, its them who give you a bible study (she rolls her eyes and sucks her top lip)

Dad, leaves the room and soon chaos erupts, accusations fly about and Billy stabs Shaun with a fork, Shaun retaliates by picking up his Spurs mug and bashing it on his brothers hand...Annie accuses Sia of lying about her bra size for the last 2 years, Christina shouts obscenities in French, and Mom pops another vallium from a small jar in her sleave jumper...its utter madness
Dad then arrives back...

Dad...tossers, and I will remind you all again we are the Nomatez family, not the No mates.... thats really pi**ed me off.

Billy gets another shove..

Billy........ do that again Shaun and we are not brothers....
Shaun... we are'nt anyway, you came from an affair Dad had whilst Mom was away with appendicitis
Annie.... oh yeah, with that Nicky bird..............
Mom......... Oh my god I cant believe this AGAIN!!!!! (she rushes out screaming)
Dad... great, well done boys, thats great... forget the Spurs game now, your both grounded.
Shaun...YES..get in there....
Billy... oh joy for a minute I though we were in sh*t
Hannah... told you, everyone wants to get out of a Spurs game now...
Dad... We'll talk about this later, your Moms upset, Christina go see if she's ok?
Christina... oh Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaddddddddd, I have "tales of windy wendy miller" to read for english lit homework....
Hannah...Oh FFS tina... I'll go Dad.... lazy bitch.

Dad remains head in hands, whilst the chaos rises again, Hannah leaves to go check on Mom, at least the boys have stopped fighting... if only Spurs could START fighting. Annie contemplates another emmergency where she will have to wear a 2 sizes to small bra... Sia wishes she could fill the one she's got. Its a Saturday.. and mayhem rules, and wait till Annie remembers that "aunty" Nicky is moving in to number 36...in just 2 weeks time.

The End... for now