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Old 07-04-2009, 12:24 PM #1
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Default Im Trying To Come Out...

hey everyone i am 15 years old and I am trying to "come out" to family and friends. I dont know how to do this and I am scared that people will judje me. I have realised that I am gay for afew years now and I really dont want to harbour this secret any longer-

could anyone help me??
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Old 07-04-2009, 12:26 PM #2
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if you really cant face telling them face to face write them a letter start with close family first then go from there
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Old 07-04-2009, 12:26 PM #3
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Just go ahead and say it, or just start dropping a few hints over time so they guess before you have to tell them so it won't be such a huge shock.
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Old 07-04-2009, 12:36 PM #4
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I can not give you advice on this.

Ask someone who has already 'came out' and they might help you.
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Old 07-04-2009, 12:37 PM #5
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Maybe your friends wont really mind? You should ask someone you really trust and know wont be like OMG WHAT!???? and be nasty etc and ask them things like if so and so was gay would you care etc.
Ok that's maybe a bad way of doing things but i am trying to help lol x
and I agree with the hints thing. Thats what my friend did and he was fine x
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Old 07-04-2009, 12:40 PM #6
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Maybe the best thing to do is too find someone maybe a friend or a close family member who could say it for you and then make it easier so you don't have to explain. It could be a weight of your shoulders if someone else says the hard part.
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Old 07-04-2009, 12:47 PM #7
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Just remember, if you know that your family & friends really care about you than they will be fine - if they are bothered by this - **** them and still come out.

Don't be worried. Come out to your best friend first and then to other people later.
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Old 07-04-2009, 12:51 PM #8
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I'm gay too, I've come out to my mum, and all my friends.

With my friends, I told the one who I thought, or knew, would be the most accepting. Luckily for me, one of my best friends is one of the most accepting people I know and she was fine with it. That was almost five years ago. Then slowly, as the years gone by, I came out to more and more people. It is a slow process, but some of my friends wouldn't have been as mature five years ago then say, two. I'd much rather have done it that way. Obviously I didn't just say 'hey guess what i'm gay' to them, some required more hints and stuff [as previously said by HUGO^] but some I just came out with it. Another thing I did to lessen the reaction was start of by telling some of the friends who I thought would be awkward with it that I was bisexual, and then just slowly changed it to gay over the time by mentioning guys all the time etc. If I'm honest, the main way that all my friends have become to accept it, is just by getting used to it all the time. I get all the gay jokes and stuff but it's in light-hearted humour, so I can laugh about it. I guess I'm lucky to have amazing mates.

If your friends don't accept you, they're not great friends. Although I will say that it may not be that. If they don't know any gay people then give them time to get used to it. If they happen to be homophobic, I've learnt to not try and change that. As hard as it can be, if you're friends with someone anti-gay, then the best thing to do is refrain from talking about it with them. If they're openly abusive, then it's a big "**** you" and I walk away. Obviously that's just me but it's how I've become myself today.

As for my mother, I was six months into my relationship with my boyfriend, and I just sat her down [she's one of the most gay friendly people I know, looking back, idk why I didn't tell her earlier] and just explained in one nervous shaky ramble all about my boyfriend&sexuality. She was totally fine with it, and there's been no change in our relationship [well, we're a lot closer now]

The last thing I will advise, is not to get defensive or awkward if your friends or family ask you questions. If there's one thing I've learnt, it's to answer questions about my sexuality with complete honesty. They're bound to be curious [particularly if they don't know any other gay people] so accept the questions just as they should accept you.

I hope this helps, all from personal experience lol. If you need anymore advise or help, feel free to ask/U2U me.
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Old 07-04-2009, 01:00 PM #9
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Dr. Phil much?
:P
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Old 07-04-2009, 11:06 PM #10
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Do it slowly. Tell one person. One person you absolutely know will accept it. That way if you tell someone else and they take it badly you'll have someone to fall back on. Either a family member or a good friend. Then just tell others over a long period of time. You'll know if it's the right time or not. Coming out to everyone all at once is not a good idea.
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Old 07-04-2009, 11:11 PM #11
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mums always know ... apparently

so theres your starting point
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Old 07-04-2009, 11:18 PM #12
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Go to www.eskimotube.com

Type in Puma Swede

Watch the video's and you'll be okay you wont have to come out then

you'll be cured
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Old 07-04-2009, 11:19 PM #13
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Aw darenn your mum sounds lovely.
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Old 07-04-2009, 11:20 PM #14
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Quote:
Originally posted by .Andy.
Go to www.eskimtube.com

Type in Puma Swede

Watch the video's and you'll be okay you wont have to come out then

you'll be cured
You missed out a letter.

Edit: argh, I'm too slow you edited, haha.
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Old 07-04-2009, 11:20 PM #15
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Quote:
Originally posted by Lauren
Quote:
Originally posted by .Andy.
Go to www.eskimtube.com

Type in Puma Swede

Watch the video's and you'll be okay you wont have to come out then

you'll be cured
You missed out a letter.
Ahh yes the o
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Old 08-04-2009, 12:20 AM #16
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How ironic, I'm just after watching "Milk".

You should come out to someone you trust first. Or when everybody is together just come out and say it. What's the worst that can happen?
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Old 08-04-2009, 12:30 AM #17
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They probably know
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Old 08-04-2009, 12:36 AM #18
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Quote:
Originally posted by WATERS
They probably know
That poster of the topless slag on your closet ain't convincing anyone, Paul.
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Old 08-04-2009, 12:37 AM #19
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Quote:
Originally posted by MarkWaldorf
Quote:
Originally posted by WATERS
They probably know
That poster of the topless slag on your closet ain't convincing anyone, Paul.
Pmsfl, Mark! I've been gone off TiBB for 2 weeks and come back to find you've turned into betch of the year. What happened boi!
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Old 08-04-2009, 12:39 AM #20
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Quote:
Originally posted by Lauren
Quote:
Originally posted by MarkWaldorf
Quote:
Originally posted by WATERS
They probably know
That poster of the topless slag on your closet ain't convincing anyone, Paul.
Pmsfl, Mark! I've been gone off TiBB for 2 weeks and come back to find you've turned into betch of the year. What happened boi!
I think it's the 'Waldorf' in my username, LOL!

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Old 08-04-2009, 12:52 AM #21
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You like Britney, your parents should know.

You could speak to any local vicar.
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Old 08-04-2009, 12:54 AM #22
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Quote:
Originally posted by andyman
You like Britney, your parents should know.

You could speak to any local vicar.
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Old 08-04-2009, 12:56 AM #23
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Markus likes his local vicar.. Bad boy!
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Old 08-04-2009, 01:15 AM #24
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Quote:
Originally posted by MarkWaldorf
Quote:
Originally posted by andyman
You like Britney, your parents should know.

You could speak to any local vicar.
US scientists are conducting experiments which aim to change the sexuality of homosexual sheep.
The news has provoked an outcry among the gay and lesbian community who fear it could pave the way for breeding out homosexuality in humans.

One gay rights campaigner likened the research to eugenics, while former Wimbledon winner Martina Navratilova, who is a lesbian, labelled it "homophobic".

The experiments were authorised to help farmers, who complained they were losing out financially because on average one in 10 rams is gay.

By studying the brains of the homosexual rams, scientists pinpointed the mechanisms influencing their sexual orientation.

They gave the sheep injections to adjust the levels of hormones in their brains and some of the previously gay rams became attracted to ewes.
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Old 08-04-2009, 01:16 AM #25
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Get some posters of naked women stick them to the celing and stare at them every night.
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