[Amy]

IT WAS the longest four hours of our lives... This week, we were among a select group invited to sample the latest Big Brother experience. And, boy, was it tough.

Just as in the actual Channel 4 show, which is back for its sixth series on Friday, we were completely at the mercy of the evil producers.

Revelling in their power, they made us perform a cringeworthy task, forced us to nominate each other, played elaborate mind games, and eventually evicted someone.

By the end, it felt more like four days than four hours but we made it to the bitter end without crying, punching anyone, climbing on the roof or scrawling mad messages on a table. Although all of those options were considered.

Here is a blow-by-blow account of our most embarrassing day ever inside the Big Brother 6 house...

3pm Security check outside the house. We have been banned from taking in phones, notebooks, tape recorders - in fact, anything at all.

3.10pm POLLY: Weirdly, my heart starts beating faster. I'm worried that there will be a nasty surprise or that I'm about to be the butt of some kind of joke. I'm already paranoid and I'm not even in the house yet.

3.11pm We enter one by one in alphabetical order... Nicola is second in, Polly is the second last.

3.16pm POLLY: I'm trying to focus on the fact that this is just pretend but as the famous doors close, I'm at the top of a white staircase and it all feels very real.

As I walk down, the camera follows me and I start blushing. I don't stop until about six hours later when I'm safely back in my flat.

3.18pm We discover the beer fridge is locked, so we make a brew. In a booming voice, Big Brother says that the main door is also locked and we all jump out of our skins.

3.25pm NICOLA: We have a nose around then settle down to chat. Mercifully, no one is screaming like an idiot, but the excitement and nerves are tangible.

Every time I brush the hair away from my face I imagine behind-the-scenes producers laughing at my vanity. Despite being surrounded by mirrors, I studiously ignore them all. Acting "normal" has never been so hard.


3.26pm POLLY: Our awkward tea party is interrupted when I am called to the Diary Room. Inside I recognise the voice of Big Brother - I was chatting to him half an hour ago, but now I'm shaking. He pounces on each throwaway comment and picks my sent-ences apart when I try to be jokey. This is awful!


Then he says he has a special task for me - if I succeed I will win some chocolate. I have one minute to kiss all my housemates but I'm not allowed to tell them why I'm doing it. Oh joy.


3.40pm NICOLA: After we all got an unexpected peck from Polly, it's my turn in the Diary Room, to face a barrage of hostile questions. Am I being myself? Do I like the others? Who's the best journalist? Which of them can't write for toffee?


I end up telling Big Brother that I'd never, ever choose to be in the show and he asks: "Is that because you are worried about showing a side of yourself that the others don't know about?"


No, but if I was in here any longer than an afternoon I'd be worried about showing a side even I don't know about...


3.50pm POLLY: Now I'm called to the Diary Room - to collect my prize, no doubt. But all I see is an empty Mars bar wrapper.


"Big Brother has eaten your chocolate. You failed. That was the most dismal attempt Big Brother has ever seen." I was 45 seconds outside the minute for the kissing game. Gah.


3.57pm POLLY: I need the loo, but there is no way I'm weeing in front of a camera. Finally we cover the lens with a hand-towel.


4.02pm Big Brother announces that housemates are not allowed to tamper with cameras. Oops.


4.10pm We are set a terrible task - we have to get into pairs and battle rap. We have 30 mins to write our songs then perform them. To soften the blow, the beer fridge is unlocked.


4.40pm We are provided with bling gold chains, caps and knuckle-dusters before Big Brother pumps out a beat for us to rap to. MC Meths and The Notorious Small Eye (that's us) go first, to get it over with...


4.41pm NICOLA: I'm just thankful I've watched 8


Mile. Yelling, "Yo!" a few times to psyche myself up I launch into my rap about Polly's perm, her old job and the fact that she once bought a coat for her cat. Mercifully, BB seems to appreciate the effort. Phew.


4.43pm POLLY: Nicola - sicken- ingly - is a natural-born rapper, second only to Eminem. I am not. My lines are too long and I stumble over every word. Plus, the worst thing I could think of to say about her was that she once offered me a lift and her car broke down.


5.10pm Unbelievably, we've all passed and are rewarded with Cava and two bowls of crisps. Yay. The sun comes out so we take them out by the plunge pool and have a look around the tiny, hot garden loft. 5.35pm The relaxed atmosphere is shattered by an announcement. "This is Big Brother. Nominations will begin shortly." Aargh.


5.40pm Breaking all the rules (what rebels!) we plot to nominate each other, safe in the knowledge that our jealous rivals will be sure to pick us, too. Being nominated makes it all the more interesting. Doesn't it?


6pm It works and we're both up for eviction! 6.05pm POLLY: One minute I'm laughing, the next I'm wondering if everyone hates me. It must be awful to live with the backstabbers for weeks and weeks.


6.20pm BB orders us all to gather in the glass-house living room, which is baking. We wait to hear who's going first. Five minutes later, Nicola is told to pack her bags.


6.26pm NICOLA: I'm given one minute to gather my stuff and only get one boot on before the countdown to my exit begins. Clutching the other, and grabbing a glass of bubbly, I rush for the door with the cheers of those who voted me out ringing in my ears. Outside I'm patted down by security who seem to think I'd want to nick something from the house. Er, no.


6.30pm POLLY: Nicola's been evicted - ha. But now she's gone I feel very alone and paranoid all over again.


6.55pm BB says the rest of us will leave in five minutes.


7pm POLLY: Outside at last! The experience was the opposite of what I expected. I actually have a new-found respect for all BB contestants, past and present - even Jonny the fireman.


7.05pm Reunited, we reflect on our reality TV experience. The team went out of their way to make us feel paranoid, self-conscious and silly. But then, that's what Big Brother is all about. And after our experience we'll be viewing BB6 very differently.


So on Friday, before you condemn a contestant within the first five seconds, just remember - it ain't as easy as it looks.

Article Daily Mirror

[Amy]

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DAY I WON BIG BROTHER May 26 2005

THIRTEEN attention-seeking souls will tomorrow night be running through the big crowd,up the stairs and through the eye of the needle to be laughed at, talked about and generally derided by everyone in the country.

But not me.Because I know anyone walking through that big eye logo into the Big Brother house deserves every drop of your sympathy, respect and pity, because it is more stressful, boring, and terrifying than you can ever imagine.

The new series of Big Brother starts tomorrow, when another set of housemates will compete over 11 weeks for the hearts of the nation and £100,000 prize money, by living under the 24-hour gaze of the cameras and the viewing public.

The reality show phenomenon has been enthralling and appalling millions for the last five years, as different sets of contestants have had to endure the constant TV scrutiny, perform bizarre tasks to earn food and treats and face the diary room grillings.

But although we've all watched the goings on in the house, just over a hundred people in the country have actually lived on set and know what it's like, so the producers of the show invited the Daily Record to become a housemate for the day. And after I was given a small taste of life inside the garish-coloured goldfish bowl, I am now more than willing to give it up for anyone mad enough to do it for the full 11 weeks.

To enter, I was forced to go through the same rigorous security procedures as the contestants - all possessions are confiscated and we were frisked by guards before the six of us taking part lined up.

I felt a shiver of anticipation and nerves as I heard the call: 'Brian, you have one minute to enter the Big Brother House,' and I climbed the stairs to the cheers of five people.

Once in, I ventured down the white and sterile-looking stairway not knowing what to expect as a robotic camera whirred and tracked me down the carpeted steps.

When I pushed the door open, the first sensation was of complete self-consciousness - alone for the first minute, I felt everyone's eyes on me and all I could hear was the robocams moving along their tracks as I walked about for a good nose.

The only gifts waiting for us were milk, sugar, coffee, and teabags, and I decided that the best way to ensure survival in the house was to put the kettle on. A moment later, the second housemate, Danielle, arrived and she finished off making the tea as I had just discovered a fridge full of bottled beers and forgotten all about hot beverages as I tried to crack the alcohol safe in front of us.

But my efforts were thwarted by Big Bro's first trick on us - they had left them sitting in full view, but had locked the fridge. Big Brother is truly evil.

ONCE everyone (four girls and two guys) arrived we sat with our tea and chatted about how weird it felt to be in the same, if re-designed, house we'd all seen onTV and waited to see what they had in store for us.

It's a big comfy place, with a cool bedroom, nice pool and really, there is everything you could ask for apart from a key to the fridge, but then a scary phrase echoed around the house: 'This is Big Brother.Would Brian come to the diary room?'

I walked nervously over, and pushed the shiny cracked mirror door open and sat in front of BB's evil camera eye, which was staring right at me.

Every question is personal, every question is searching, rude and always supplemented with a follow up, wanting more detail and more juicy gossip or confessional emotion.

After starting with the normal 'how's it going?'how do you find the house?' type of stuff, the questions got much more intense. BB:What bad things do you think the other housemates have said about you so far?

Me: (white-faced): Don't know, maybe that I'm too quiet or something?

BB:Can you think of anything worse they could say about you?

Me: I hope not.

BB: Do you fancy any of the Housemates? Me: (red-faced): The girls are all very good looking and I'm sure Peter is nice if you are of that inclination, but I don't fancy any of them.

He asked if I had any questions, so I wanted to know when the beer fridge would be opening, and after asking if I was an alkie, said he would get back to me.

I walked out (ashen-faced) and agreed with the others who had been in about how creepy it is and the diary room is undoubtedly the scariest place in the house for me, apart from the cactus plants which rip your jeans.

When the faceless voice comes out from the other side of a soulless camera and barks questions, you really feel like a lab rat and a prisoner, and start to get paranoid that the others are talking about you while you are away. But those worries were washed away when BB opened the beer fridge and we cracked them open in the new living room.

For our task, wehad to pair up with a housemate, write a short rap about them, give ourselves an MC name and perform it in the rapper gear we had been given. I called myself50 Pence, donned da bling bling and prepared for our 8 Mile style rap battles.

Teamed up with Liverpool lass Danielle (MC Lawless), I started to rock the mike with all my might.

In front of a group of five housemates, and about five TV viewers in the control room, I did my first live gig and started laying down some rhymes.

Sadly, I was more Vanilla Ice than Eminem and after it was over we all fell about laughing at how bad we were,and went back to chit chatting around the pool.

What amazed me was how easy it was to slip into boredom.

If you're doing this 24 hours a day for three months, you must live for tasks to relieve the boredom, as the walls start to close in after a very short time and it does get very dull.

After just over two hours, a couple of housemates left for personal reasons, and it was left to the four of us to enjoy the champagne reward for our successful task, and were then called in to start nominations.

The alphabet was against me and I was first for the room.

I eventually decided to go for the two girls who were very friendly. I thought that if me or Pete was left with both of them we might feel left out, and after the others went in, BB came back and told us that both of them had been put up for eviction.

After a public vote of the producers, Nicola got the boot and we did the cliched guard of honour as she left and told her how much we'd miss her and always keep in touch when we were out and always be best pals.

Then, half an hour later, our time in the house was up and we steeled ourselves for the obligatory boos, until we figured that as the final three leaving together, we were all joint winners.

As the countdown to our departure began, we got ready to meet Davina, bare our souls and sell our stories and we raced up the stairs in glory.

But instead of any beloved public or Davina interviews, Dave the grumpy bouncer didn't want a chat, instead he patted us down to make sure we hadn't stolen anything, and then showed us outside and back to the real world.

Tomorrow's housemates just don't know what they're letting themselves in for

50 Pence's rap rhymes

'Yo,Yo,check it - I'm stuck in this house with at least one Scouse her name's Danielle and she ain't got no law but she can play some wicked rhymes with her jaw Shecan rap and her name's Lawless Andsome other papers office she does bless In the BB house she don't like cold feet Butmanyou should see her hit the street When she's on the mike she's a real big player Andwhen she rhymes she twirls her hair.

Say yo,yo-oo

Article Daily Record