[President]

Dear Diary,

I was so excited today! This was the first day that I am to be president of this great university and I feel that I am on the cusp of greatness. I must say I was surprised to win the election, but if I’m honest I may have been helped by my only opponent hanging himself just after our head-to-head debate. Everyone was shocked. He always seemed so happy and I have no idea what drove him over the edge so suddenly.

Anyway I’m determined to do a good job so I decided that I would greet all the new students so they could get to know their new president personally. I was pleased at how quickly I became recognised and they were all pointing and whispering amongst themselves. I think they were probably commenting upon how nice it was for me, the president, to take the time out from my duties to talk to them. (Note to self: always maintain the human approach).

I met a very charming young lady and I thought it would be nice if I spent all day showing her around the campus personally. At first she was a little reluctant but after spending an hour convincing her she agreed to go with me. The size of this great university was obviously too much for her to take in because the more time we spent together the more frightened her eyes seemed to be. I decided to put my arm around her to comfort her and I was right she was trembling like a flower poor thing! So I decided to sit her down so we could have a long chat about our love and our place in the universe. She was so overwhelmed by my kindness and the emotion of the moment that she began to cry poor thing. I am a little perplexed though. The British have so many accents that I can’t always understand what they are saying. What exactly is a “restraining order”?. (Note to self: contact mum to make arrangements for the wedding).

I was very surprised when I returned to my presidential office. A delegation of students was there to meet me and tell me about this television programme called “Big Brother”. They thought it would be a great opportunity for me to promote this great university. They had even gone to the trouble of completing an application form for me. I have never watched this programme but they told me it was a highly rated programme where the nicest and most talented young people in Britain apply to go on and gather massive respect from the public. They thought I would be perfect for it. I am really fortunate to work with such nice respectful people. (Note to self: find out more about Big Brother)

http://tinyurl.com/mqhdzu