[Nicky.]

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com

The name says it all! Highly amusing!

Post good ones you find! Xx

[Nicky.]

(310): please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
(1-310): negative
(310): come find me please


(212): btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up


(401): This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?

[Jen]

: In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear ****er' would not end in a pleasant experience.

: so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
: i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
: he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it.

:he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper.

: I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth.

: anal on a first date. tsk tsk.

: Car ****ing is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.

: i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
: i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.

: you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
: probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine


I love this. LMAO

[Lauren]

Bleurgh, some are rancidddd!

(918): After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.

[Jen]

Originally posted by Lauren
Bleurgh, some are rancidddd!

(918): After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.

LOL

[Jen]

A few more.. LMAO

336): There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
(336): This is god's gift to the unemployed.

(952): He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.

(718): i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.

[Arneldo]

(609): I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
(1-609): and?
(609): RIP clitoris

[Jen]

(313): I painted my nails silver
(586): And what are the implications of that?
(313): Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien

God, Nicky. Thank you. I love this site.

[Nicky.]

Haha! No problem

I've been amusing myself for about half an hour with it, so thought I would share!

[Deirdre]

(831): theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it

(515): they need to just BURY HIM!

(890): whats a polygalesbian?
(728): lesbian polygamists..duh.

(518): I hraet yuo
(862): did you say you heart me or hate me?
(518): who is this?

(847): you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up

LOL. This is brill.