260th. Winston Showan (BB15)
(people thought that was hot?!)
Where to start with Winston? That’s actually a good question – where do you start with Winston? Because it can’t be far from where you finish with him. As Big Brother housemates go (i.e. not particularly deep), Winston is one of the shallowest of them all in many senses. ‘Personal development business manager’ my ass. We all know you’re a TOWIE standby/EastEnders bar propper-upper, don’t be ashamed of that. Or on second thoughts, do.
So when Winston entered, we all knew what we were getting. Yer standard Essex lad, who enjoys pulling birds and drinking pints and basing his conversations on those two things and little else. And if that’s what you wanted (why on earth would it be), he delivered. His highlights from the first few weeks included his well-timed showmance with Tamara (by which I mean the highlights show immediately prior to her eviction was made up of nothing but clips of them eating face, thus giving us (half) a summer of Danielle McMahon, good job editing team), stories about how he simultaneously wanked, cried and vomited once and how he fought off a shark once and I can’t remember for the life of me which of those was real and which wasn’t. So far, so… good? That doesn’t seem right….
And then he began being sort-of-surprisingly-kind-of-righteous? For about a day or so in something that didn’t really concern him and I’m still not sure why he thought it did but hey, get that relevancy! Yes, he decided to get involved in Marlon’s decision to Push The Button on iTunes and whilst it was probably the point of the series at which I liked him most (which isn’t saying much), he soon faded back into obscurity and singing Killers songs really badly and… um, that was sort of it? And that was all 65 days of Winston Showan. The producers occasionally tried to give him a personality by giving him an awful character-based task (hai 'Inspector Winston'), or let him try and do that itself, with the result of that being him breaking out of the fire escape. And then running back in. Kitten's quaking in her boots, I'm sure. One of the rare bits of praise I’ll give to BB15 is that it knew how to do a shock result, and Winston’s somewhat premature/more so overly-delayed boot is a great example of that. We can thank Ashleigh’s iPhone Army for gloriously slaying one of Helen’s crew and their chances of winni… okay never mind, but still, I will no doubt remember Winston better for how he left than anything he did in the house. And since what he did do in the house often revolved around or was based upon some variant of his phrase, “I have a dream that one day a man can just be a man” (complete with bicep-flexing), that’s not saying much.
Oh and when he left the house he broke up with Tamara with something to do with milk? idk like I care about any of these people after they leave. And that was Winston Showan.
I'm saving
Michael off of that BB7 because I do slightly quite like him? -ducks-