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Chat and Games Looking for forum games, and completely off topic banter - this is your place! (includes Virtual Big Brother type forum games) |
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08-08-2009, 10:07 AM | #1 | |||
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Jaydaughter
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LOL!
http://www.urban75.org/useless/insultshow.html [The crowd starts chanting "Mr Insult! You're a ****"] Mr Insult: Tonight on my ****ing great show we have a chuffing fantastic episode in store! That *****ing tw*t Jayson is here to finally confess something to his ****-wit chum, David. So come on you useless trailer trash ****ers, let's hear it for the ****ing shithead, Jayson! [The crowd whoops and hollers, swearing profusely] Mr Insult: Okay, now Jayson you're here to talk about some **** or another, aren't you? You: Yes. Mr Insult: And who is the desperate loser you want to talk about? You: Christina. [The crowd squeals with delight] Mr Insult: OK, ****face, great news - Christina, is actually here tonight ... [The crowd squeals] Mr Insult: But first we have a ****ing great surprise for you Jayson, because there's some other ****er here to see you! So let's bring out this complete **** ... Andy! You: What the ****ing arsing chuffing cunting heck?!!! [Suddenly you pull out a Raspberry. Andy reaches for the Chair. As the crowd pisses themselves with laughter, Hannah appears from out of the shadows] Hannah: Wait you ****ing tossers.... Mr Insult: Yes, come on you pitiful fame-desperate inbreds, calm down for a minute. Now, Andy you look like a right useless ****. Why are you here?. Andy: Because I saw Jayson and Hannah ****ing the arse off each other out at the The TiBB Arms! [The crowd turns nauseous at the thought of those two Bug Uglies exchanging bodily fluids] Hannah: You cunting lying shithead! I was home watching TiBB's Most Wanted! Mr Insult: [flashing the vick and trying to feel up the ladies in the crowd] Look you gormless, moronic shithead... what exactly is the problem Andy? Andy: Well, I've recently been having filthy animal sex with David who has recently become engaged to Hannah. [The crowd joins in with a rousing chorus of 'You're a Slack ****!'] Mr Insult: Really? Right up the tradesman's entrance, eh? Saucy! Well why don't we bring David out here because Jayson had something that they needed to tell them anyway about Christina David: [strolls on stage and walks towards you ] What's the ****ing deal, you ****? I saw you outside getting it on with Christina! You know how I feel about that ****ing hopeless ****wit tosser Christina! Hannah: [screams] What? Why the ******** hell did you ****ing ask me to ****ing marry you if you're in love with that ****face weasel Christina! David: Because I knew that I could never shag Christina. But Jayson promised me that they'd never **** each other out of respect for my feelings! Hannah: What about respect for my feelings you useless piece of ****! [Andy walks suddenly across the stage, and tries to get jiggy with David] Andy: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of those useless ****wits now that you have me. [The crowd laughs at the pitiful specimens on stage and unites in a thunderous chant of, 'Deck the ****ing ****!'] Hannah: You cunting fishfaced ****head! Are you ****ing sick!? [Hannah runs across the room and starts rubbing up against you in a sexual manner] Hannah: Jayson take me away from all of ****ing bullshit! You: You see? That's the ****in problem you useless divvy. I'm ****ing married. [The crowd hurls general abuse as Mr Insult does exaggerated wanking motion] Hannah: Cunting married, you ****? [You nod] Hannah: Who the **** are you married to you ****ing lying bullshitting twat? When ... when the **** did this happen? I don't bollocking understand! You: The other day you clueless shithead. In Splott, Cardiff. I'm married to Christina. David: [screaming] YOU ****ING WHAT?!! Mr Insult: [grinning widely, and sliding his hand up a girl in the audiences skirt] So ... did you have a ****ing great wedding night and and get loads of botty action with spunk flying everywhere and ... and.... and...? Christina: [giving exaggerated ****ing action] Well, we ****ed like a pair of randy ferrets on acid 32 times if that's what you mean. [The crowd squeals, girl discovers Mr Insult's hand and slaps him in the face] Mr Insult: Okay, okay. So let me get this all bollocks straight you useless ****ers ... Jayson is married to Christina who David has secretly been shagging with for years and years. Now David has recently become engaged to Hannah who was recently spotted ****ing Jayson in The TiBB Arms. Now on top of this, Andy has just admitted to being in an arse-****ing relationship with David. Christina: That's ****ing right Mr Insult. Mr Insult: [looking sternly into the camera] It's times like these that I wonder why I bother sharing the stage with such a bunch of publicity-hungry ****wits. Just look at them: a useless bunch of inbred clowns who will do anything to appear on a show as shitty as mine. But I don't give a **** because I get paid to do this ****! Now, Ladies and Gentlemen, it's time for Mr Insult's Final Thought, and I say ..... **** off you useless bunch of *****! Thanks for watching folks - it's been great - now **** off you useless bag of inbred losers. [Cue cheesy background music and fade to black] |
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08-08-2009, 10:27 AM | #2 | |||
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Senior Member
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LMAO. That was good.
I like; ''I don't bollocking understand!'' |
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10-08-2009, 01:06 AM | #3 | |||
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Senior Member
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[The crowd starts chanting "Mr Insult! You're a ****"]
Mr Insult: Tonight on my ****ing great show we have a chuffing fantastic episode in store! That ****ing twat Shaun is here to finally confess something to his ****wit chum, Hugo. So come on you useless trailer trash ****ers, let's hear it for the ****ing shithead, Shaun! [The crowd whoops and hollers, swearing profusely] Mr Insult: Okay, now Shaun you're here to talk about some **** or another, aren't you? Shaun: Yes. Mr Insult: And who is the desperate loser you want to talk about? Shaun: Lauren. [The crowd squeals with delight] Mr Insult: OK, ****face, great news - Lauren, is actually here tonight ... [The crowd squeals] Mr Insult: But first we have a ****ing great surprise for you Shaun, because there's some other ****er here to see you! So let's bring out this complete **** ... Mark Waldorf! Shaun: What the ****ing arsing chuffing cunting heck?!!! [Suddenly Shaun pulls out a Cucumber. Mark Waldorf reaches for the Occasional side table (mahogany with mosaic panel). As the crowd pisses themselves with laughter, Linda appears from out of the shadows] Linda: Wait you ****ing tossers.... Mr Insult: Yes, come on you pitiful fame-desperate inbreds, calm down for a minute. Now, Mark Waldorf you look like a right useless ****. Why are you here?. Mark Waldorf: Because I saw Shaun and Linda ****ing the arse off each other out at the back of Netto! [The crowd turns nauseous at the thought of those two Bug Uglies exchanging bodily fluids] Linda: You cunting lying shithead! I was home watching Supermarket Sweep! Mr Insult: [flashing the vick and trying to feel up the ladies in the crowd] Look you gormless, moronic shithead... what exactly is the problem Mark Waldorf? Mark Waldorf: Well, I've recently been having filthy animal sex with Hugo who has recently become engaged to Linda. [The crowd joins in with a rousing chorus of 'You're a Slack ****!'] Mr Insult: Really? Right up the tradesman's entrance, eh? Saucy! Well why don't we bring Hugo out here because Shaun had something that they needed to tell them anyway about Lauren Hugo: [strolls on stage and walks towards Shaun ] What's the ****ing deal, you ****? I saw you outside getting it on with Lauren! You know how I feel about that ****ing hopeless ****wit tosser Lauren! Linda: [screams] What? Why the ******** hell did you ****ing ask me to ****ing marry you if you're in love with that ****face weasel Lauren! Hugo: Because I knew that I could never shag Lauren. But Shaun promised me that they'd never **** each other out of respect for my feelings! Linda: What about respect for my feelings you useless piece of ****! [Mark Waldorf walks suddenly across the stage, and tries to get jiggy with Hugo] Mark Waldorf: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of those useless ****wits now that you have me. [The crowd laughs at the pitiful specimens on stage and unites in a thunderous chant of, 'Deck the ****ing ****!'] Linda: You cunting fishfaced ****head! Are you ****ing sick!? [Linda runs across the room and starts rubbing up against Shaun in a sexual manner] Linda: Shaun take me away from all of ****ing bullshit! Shaun: You see? That's the ****in problem you useless divvy. I'm ****ing married. [The crowd hurls general abuse as Mr Insult does exaggerated wanking motion] Linda: Cunting married, you ****? [Shaun nods] Linda: Who the **** are you married to you ****ing lying bullshitting twat? When ... when the **** did this happen? I don't bollocking understand! Shaun: The other day you clueless shithead. In Torbay. I'm married to Lauren. Hugo: [screaming] YOU ****ING WHAT?!! Mr Insult: [grinning widely, and sliding his hand up a girl in the audiences skirt] So ... did you have a ****ing great wedding night and and get loads of botty action with spunk flying everywhere and ... and.... and...? Lauren: [giving exaggerated ****ing action] Well, we ****ed like a pair of randy ferrets on acid 3 times if that's what you mean. [The crowd squeals, girl discovers Mr Insult's hand and slaps him in the face] Mr Insult: Okay, okay. So let me get this all bollocks straight you useless ****ers ... Shaun is married to Lauren who Hugo has secretly been shagging with for years and years. Now Hugo has recently become engaged to Linda who was recently spotted ****ing Shaun in Netto. Now on top of this, Mark Waldorf has just admitted to being in an arse-****ing relationship with Hugo. Lauren: That's ****ing right Mr Insult. Mr Insult: [looking sternly into the camera] It's times like these that I wonder why I bother sharing the stage with such a bunch of publicity-hungry ****wits. Just look at them: a useless bunch of inbred clowns who will do anything to appear on a show as shitty as mine. But I don't give a **** because I get paid to do this ****! Now, Ladies and Gentlemen, it's time for Mr Insult's Final Thought, and I say ..... **** off you useless bunch of *****! Thanks for watching folks - it's been great - now **** off you useless bag of inbred losers. [Cue cheesy background music and fade to black] |
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29-08-2009, 10:12 PM | #4 | |||
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Gatorade me, Bitch!
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Wow. A lot has happened since I was last here. :P
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29-08-2009, 10:18 PM | #5 | |||
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ZakJam <3~
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I don't think I've seen so many *'s in one post.
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29-08-2009, 11:15 PM | #6 | |||
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Senior Member
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the darkhorse should be on this show
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30-08-2009, 11:25 AM | #7 | ||
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Senior Member
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LOL
"[Andy walks suddenly across the stage, and tries to get jiggy with David] Andy: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of those useless ****wits now that you have me." |
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