[LeatherTrumpet]

2 work collegues discussing some new workers at work. "can you get someone to cover for mandy on the front desk?" says Tom. "Yes" says Marc "there is one of the new ones that has that very experience" "Oh?" says Tom "which one?"

Now Marc has not got the names to hand but he has met them as has Tom, briefly

"the em, the fat lady" says Marc

"aaah" right says Tom I will go and ask her

Now as Jesy is the only fat lady (she is 18 stone and 5 foot 6") Marc was efficient in going for the most recognisable aspect for Tom and indeed Jesy is a fat lady due to lifestyle choices.


But is that acceptable if not why?

[Niamh.]

I don't think it's acceptable, especially in a professional situation like that to comment on a persons weight no.

[Morgan.]

Only if
a) you have a good relationship with the person and
b) if they refer themself to it first, e.g. if they say 'oh yeah I'm the fat one' then I would understand they take it as a joke and not personally.

Never about someone you don't know though.

[thesheriff443]

It's not acceptable, larger lady is still not great but acceptable.

Lt is a c xnt is not acceptable
Lt is a twat is acceptable

[LeatherTrumpet]

please give your reason - if you dont think it is then say why

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

please give your reason - if you dont think it is then say why

Because commenting on a persons physical appearance (especially something that could come across as negative or insulting) is really unprofessional and rude.

[Cherie]

I guess if they are new and they don't know the names it's acceptable in that sense, and it is not being said in a malicious way, in a work environment I have heard people referred to as little Sue or skinny Sue if there is more than one person of the same name, the problem would be if they continued to refer to her in that way once they know her name

[MTVN]

I would probably be very tactful and say 'the bigger one' instead

[LeatherTrumpet]

People would have no qualms saying the ginger one or the blonde?

or the gay guy?

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

People would have no qualms saying the ginger one or the blonde?

or the gay guy?

hair colour is different though, it's not negative or rude. Like saying the one with the massive tits would be a no no as well

I think saying the gay guy wouldn't be acceptable either tbh

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by MTVN

I would probably be very tactful and say 'the bigger one' instead

Is that any better

[Oliver_W]

Sure it's acceptable. If Tom needs to know which one to speak to, gotta be specific!

If she didn't want to be called fat, she should eat less.

[MTVN]

Originally Posted by Cherie

Is that any better

Yes because saying someone is 'bigger' does not necessarily mean that they are fat

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Oliver_W

Sure it's acceptable. If Tom needs to know which one to speak to, gotta be specific!

If she didn't want to be called fat, she should eat less.

Charming

[RileyH]

Oop I do this sometimes

[Morgan.]

Originally Posted by Oliver_W

Sure it's acceptable. If Tom needs to know which one to speak to, gotta be specific!

If she didn't want to be called fat, she should eat less.

Aren't you the spitting image of Katie Hopkins ...

[bitontheslide]

its a method of identification although not polite. I mean where do you draw the line, the person with spots, the person that wears green shoes, the girl with glasses .... Its acceptable, but not polite. One would be better describing who they are by location

[Brillopad]

Difficult one but given obesity is a massive problem these days, affecting children as well as adults, and leading to lifelong health problems - causing massive problems for our health service we need to stop pussy-footing around it and call a spade a spade.

People need to be more aware - it is easy to bury the reality and pretend it isn’t so - and perhaps people need constant reminding that it is so - especially as most weight problems are self-inflicted and a completely preventable condition.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Brillopad

Difficult one but given obesity is a massive problem these days, affecting children as well as adults, and leading to lifelong health problems - causing massive problems for our health service we need to stop pussy-footing around it and call a spade a spade.

People need to be more aware - it is easy to bury the reality and pretend it isn’t so - and perhaps people need constant reminding that it is so - especially as most weight problems are self-inflicted and a completely preventable condition.

I agree with that, obesity is certainly a serious issue in todays society but being rude or ridiculing people isn't the way to address or solve it imo. I'm of the opinion that the vast majority of over weight people don't feel good about being over weight as it is, shaming them is only going to make it worse imo especially as alot of times over eating is an emotional thing, feel bad, eat more etc.

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

I agree with that, obesity is certainly a serious issue in todays society but being rude or ridiculing people isn't the way to address or solve it imo. I'm of the opinion that the vast majority of over weight people don't feel good about being over weight as it is, shaming them is only going to make it worse imo especially as alot of times over eating is an emotional thing, feel bad, eat more etc.

Well said

[Brillopad]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

I agree with that, obesity is certainly a serious issue in todays society but being rude or ridiculing people isn't the way to address or solve it imo. I'm of the opinion that the vast majority of over weight people don't feel good about being over weight as it is, shaming them is only going to make it worse imo especially as alot of times over eating is an emotional thing, feel bad, eat more etc.

I do agree with that on the whole and am not necessarily saying we need to be offensively rude to people for the sake of being rude but I do think treating the subject by ignoring it for fear of causing offence has a negative affect.

I think now is an easier time than ever to address the issue with more and more people using gyms these days - people of all ages and shapes and sizes. It is far less humiliating these days and people are more likely to admire people for making the effort rather than sitting at home, feeling sorry for themselves and simply fuelling the problem.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Brillopad

I do agree with that on the whole and am not necessarily saying we need to be offensively rude to people for the sake of being rude but I do think treating the subject by ignoring it for fear of causing offence has a negative affect.

I think now is an easier time than ever to address the issue with more and more people using gyms these days - people of all ages and shapes and sixes. It is far less humiliating these days and people are more likely to admire people for making the effort rather sitting at home and simply fuelling the problem.

I don't think it's ignored, I mean look at all the ads on TV for slimming world and weight watchers etc, you go on FB and there's always people advertising as personal trainers and people showing before and after pictures etc. That's all positive and encouraging and will get more people motivated. Calling someone the fat one isn't exactly going to inspire them to get on the training gear and go for a run, it's more likely to make them feel like s**t and make them want to hide away

[Cal.]

It’s just easier to identify someone in a conversation by saying ‘the fat one’ ‘the gay one’ ‘the black one’ like I would never say it to the person but I think it’s harmless.

[Cherie]

Mental health issues play a big part in over eating as well, and these cannot be addressed by going to the gym, its difficult to get the right help as well as without sounding mean we seem to be at a point where people need professional help for everything and everyone has a label so services are overstretched diagnosing everyone and given them a label

[caprimint]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

I agree with that, obesity is certainly a serious issue in todays society but being rude or ridiculing people isn't the way to address or solve it imo. I'm of the opinion that the vast majority of over weight people don't feel good about being over weight as it is, shaming them is only going to make it worse imo especially as alot of times over eating is an emotional thing, feel bad, eat more etc.

It can go either way I think... Maybe some people genuinely don't care and will continue to live the lifestyle of eating all day long, but with some it might really spark something in their mind to actually do something about it. Hearing it from someone else is very different from knowing it in your own mind.