[Z]

Just been chatting away to a friend on my course at uni about a girl on our course who flipped out and decided not to speak to any of us about a year and a half ago, and she's never made up with us... anyone want to share any stories about dramatic fall outs with friends?

I'll start with the one I mentioned above...

My uni course is now only 20 people and my group of friends on it at the time consisted of 9 people, almost half of the class. We moved to Germany in September 2011 and 3 of us were in close proximity to one another - two girls (R and C) and myself. Over the previous 2 years at uni, 8/9 of us had gotten to know each other through sharing personal stories and generally just having fun together. C had never really engaged with the group as a whole, choosing to remain in the background and not speaking much during social occasions, which had never been a problem because some people are like that in group situations (sometimes I am, sometimes I'm not) but when we moved to Germany and it was down to 3 of us, it all changed.

R and I would hang out just the two of us quite a lot because we were both homesick and would say as much, choosing to spend our time talking about home and going sightseeing to while the days away. C never once told us how she was feeling, she never invited us anywhere nor did she ever ask to be included. We didn't feel any sense of obligation towards her because she'd never really tried to get to know us before. Suddenly what was fairly innocuous, her being quiet in large groups, became irritating, because if you hung out with her, she would be borderline mute and you were acutely aware of the fact that the third person wasn't saying anything. We didn't invite her places because we didn't think she wanted to be invited anywhere, she didn't seem to show much of an interest in us at all. We thought maybe she was homesick, but when we asked her, she denied it and would go back to saying nothing.

Fast forward 5 months and it was R's birthday. R had friends coming over to visit especially; and she invited me because we're good friends. She felt conflicted about inviting C because she didn't want to lump me with her - nobody else from uni was invited because they all lived really far away, it was just R's friends from home and R's friends she had made in Germany. So she didn't invite her. Days later, C blocked us from Facebook and sent us an email telling us that we were "users" and "horrible people" because we didn't invite her anywhere. I replied to her, but she never sent one back. She later deleted most of the rest of the group from Facebook.

We've been back at uni since September 2012 and I apologised to her, that I didn't realise she was feeling left out because she'd never indicated that she felt that way and I felt horrible for causing that situation without realising it, but she never forgave me and she continues to mostly ignore all of us at uni which is a shame because it's such a small course and I don't believe myself to be a bad person. I apologised, even though I didn't have to, perhaps she didn't accept it because she knows that I don't really think I have anything to be sorry for. I did it out of courtesy because we had another 2 years of studying left together. My apology was genuine, I do feel bad for making her feel left out; but if only she had said something at the time instead of going from silence to pure rage, things could have been so different...