[Mairi]

Regarding Mr. Mohan, I think I should have a share in him as well as I wrote him a letter once - those of you who also look at the talkbigbrother site may remember!! I was absolutely with him at the time. Wonder if he'll remember me?

[blinkinlovely]

:danc e:

Support??????

I've got me train ticket booked - and I'm on me way!!!!!!!!!!!!
One thing though - the thought of Paul reading this (albeit sneakily) from work has sent me into meltdown and so I'll be bringing along some valium in case it gets too much for the assembled crew of TiBB.

maybe a few bottles of chardonnay would work better though................

[Romantic Old Bird]

Wouldn't it be great if Paul did read our magnificent postings, just so that he'd know he was still loved.



Seriously, can you imagine the disparate group members of the TIBB Hadley Wood expeditionary force pounding the pavements in hot pursuit?

Led by the intrepid collie, straining at the leash, we could speedwalk(you know, that bum-waddling thing) up and down until we located the target.

Then, we could distract Helen with a glittery shiny thing whilst the more seasoned members of the group smuggle Paul into my car.

Here I can inaugurate him into some of the pleasures which only maturity, skill and experience can bring.
I feel it is only fair to Helen that he should be fully versed in these before making that lifetime commitment.

Not wishing to be entirely selfish, when I have finished with him, and if he is still breathing, of course the rest of you can have him. I think it is only fair to state at this point, however, that once a man has eaten my Dutch Applecake, he is unlikely to want for more!

Paul, once again, if you're looking in, you're mine! It may take time, it may take patience, it may take great cunning and fortitude. I will prevail!

Mine, all mine I tell you!

[Mairi]

ROB, you are brilliant. You make me laugh so much. However, do I detect just a tiny hint of selfishness where Mr. Clarke is concerned?

I love the idea of us all going down to Hadley Wood but I think Sticks should come along too. Go on, Sticks, say you will. You know you want to really.

By the way, do you think a mini-bus with "I love Helen and Paul" stickers all over it might be a bit too obvious? We don't want to blow our cover, do we?

[Kaz]

Originally posted by blinkinlovely
Support?????? I've got me train ticket booked - and I'm on me way!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fantastic! Great to have you on board!

Steady on miriam - do we really want to have a feeling of impending doom hovering over this virtual outing?

If Sticks does come along with us, then he'll have to enter into the spirit of things and come bedecked in orange blankets, with a game of travel snakes & ladders tucked under his arm. Then H&P will feel really at home when they move into their new 'James Bond Loveshack'.

[sweetlittlesara]

oooh can i come too!! I'll be out with my friend on that day in camden so maybe if they decided they wanted to turn goth they might turn up there? hmm maybe not oh well ill just go with you guys!

[chilledbootz]

OK guys i'm in as well. However I would like to request that I be the chief smuggler when it comes to getting Paul into our mini bus. Any objections?? No right good.

[Romantic Old Bird]

If Sticks does come along with us, then he'll have to enter into the spirit of things and come bedecked in orange blankets, with a game of travel snakes & ladders tucked under his arm.

I think it will be all right as long as he takes off those billboards saying:

'The end of the world is nigh'

a wee bit conspicuous!

Actually this is getting to sound a bit like that film with Christopher Lloyd and Michael Keaton ? The Dream Team!

Chilledbootz, you're very welcome to come along, but dream on!

Paul Clarke is so not going to see daylight once I get my hands on him. I am definitely a 'big old girl' and would be an insurmountable obstacle in your quest to get your mits on him first.

He will be mine, oh yes!

I repeat, mine, all mine!! Hahahahahaha!

[Sticks]

You forget as a loyal cyber warrior of my Liege Mr Clarke and his lady the fair lady Adams, I am sworn to defend their interests in the realm of cyber space. Especially against the minions of the Lord Low Troll .(See this link)

There fore I council against going down there, as such a crowd as this may arrouse the dark lords of the media who shall hound them unto oblivion.

BTW any one know which bus it is for Morrrdoorrrr ?

[Kaz]

Welcome on board the virtual trip, sara and chilledbootz - looks like we need a 12-seater minibus now!

Sorry Sticks, there's no stopping us now. We're on a mission, and there's no room for failure.

Don't worry about the media - they'll be mincemeat when we set about them with Feefs' big stick.

Right, let's get some practice in for the communal sing-song on the minibus, girls ....

We're on our way to Hadley
We're on our way to Hadley
TA RA RA RA, TA RA RA RA .........

[peachy]

Ok, I've increased the size of the mini-bus to accommodate everyone. I still think that Sticks ought to come. He would be SOOO organised. He could supply detailed ordinance survey maps of the whole area complete with grid references and detailed instructions of exactly which street each person has to cover. Come on Sticks you needn't be frightened of all us women, a big bold cyber warrior like you! I am wondering if a min-bus is going to be big enough or whether I ought to book a full size coach. After all, we don't want our celebrity hostage to be uncomfortable when ROB and Chilledbootz have him pinned down on the back seat, do we. Now Sticks I need to know do I make a slight! detour up to Newcastle to pick you up. I'm also worried about Mark, who's going to look after him when we're all away?

[Sticks]

When ever I need to be somewhere I travel covertly and alone, it is a more secure way.

As a Cyber Warrior for my liege I am duty bound to maintain his and his lady's well being.

I do not feel that a coach party descending on them when they are trying to move in, will maintain their well being.

Besides I prefer covert operations. You would do better to run interference on the rat pack media. Besides I have a meeting arranged with a representative from a communications firm.

[susieq]

Perhaps as well as a collie we need a rotweiler or something

No problems - Jodie (my sister's border collie) is trained to seriously maim lowlife. She's a good stalker and can sniff out undesirables at 100 yards. I can see her know as Mr Mohan approaches - crouching down on all fours, edging forward. What's this - oh no! her bottom's in the air, it's wriggling from side to side and she's away - legging it down the street. Mr M is toast guys - she's got him in a Jodie death grip from which there is no escape. I'm training her to 'bite on sight'. She's shown a picture of Mr Mohan every day and is given a biscuit when she's ripped the paper to shreds!! She loves her new favourite game.

Anyway, to the transport arrangements. I can see things are well in hand and I think you're right - we'll need a coach. I think a 52 seater should do it - we need room for Chilled and ROB to have their wicked way with Mr C - perhaps we could hire the Pop Idol bus (it looks very comfy), suitably redecorated in muted, blend in with the scenery colours of course. Anyone got any connections with ITV?

PS - ladies, take it easy with PC - he's but a simple lad with a sweet nature and totally unused to the attention of rampant and lascivious females - NOT!!!!

[LEE]

Children, children!!

My virtual investigative mission is beginning to get a little out of hand.

Kidnapping Paul! Tut, tut. Shame on you all

You can't seriously be planning to leave the sparkly girl to cope with lugging all those boxes about by herself can you? Think of the strain on the nails and the hair!

What would the poor boy think of us, that's if he was still capable of thinking after chilledbootz and ROB had finished with him.

I despair, I really do!

[Romantic Old Bird]

quote]

PS - ladies, take it easy with PC - he's but a simple lad with a sweet nature and totally unused to the attention of rampant and lascivious females - NOT!!!![/quote]

Listen, how many times do I have to tell you this? He will be completely safe with me, 'cos I only want to play with him.

And, if it all gets a little too much for him, and he needs a little tender care and affection to restore him to full health and vigour after his exertions, well, remember I AM a trained nurse.

I can clutch him lovingly to my ample bosom, and, if that's not enough, and if he's really debilitated, lying wan, listless, and helpless on the back seat of the LURVE Bus, then there's always my speciality cure!

It is reknowned for it's miraculous restorative powers, and has been spoken of in hushed, reverential tones throughout the land.

It is the ROB BED BATH!

Oh Yeah baby, it rocks! Almost worth getting sick for....

I shouldn't really give my secrets away but...

You must start by putting the patient at their ease, and telling them exactly what you're going to do to them.
Then you remove all their clothes, and cover them with a sheet. Then, you take a soft cloth and gently sponge their face, arms, and chest. Then you roll them gently over and wash their back, then you wash their feet and legs, always working towards the heart. After washing and rinsing each part of the body, you gently pat dry with a soft fluffy towel. Then you should, if the patent is strong enough, offer the cloth to them to wash their own ahem 'particulars', but, if the patient is extremely weak, well, you just HAVE to do it for them!

This eventuality does call for a trained nurse of course. Someone who is professional, efficient, completely trustworthy and ethical.

Don't worry Mr Clarke, you're completely safe in my hands...............................

[Janette]

I'm getting excited now!!!!!

By the way, if we're taking the pop idol bus, can we take Will's and take him with us? Then I can play with him while ROB's playing with Paul

[peachy]

Ok, I thought I'd update everyone on how the arrangements for the virtual reality trip to Hadley Woods on the 23rd are going. Firstly, I've booked Will and his tour bus for the day. Now, I know some of you might think that this could be proving a little expensive but no worries, Endemol are going to pay. They accept that we are all in need of help and their team of psychologists feel that the trip will give us a degree of closure. So that's fine. (little do they know we don't want closure, but never mind eh). Will is bringing Gareth will him. We felt that he could help to distract Helen, as it could take him a little while to explain to her who we are and why we're putting a large orange checked duvet over paul's head and dragging him into the tour bus! I've told Gareth to tell Helen that ROB is only trying a re-enactment of the Paul and Penny on the bed scene from Week 3, so that should be OK. While Chilledbootz and ROB are busy playing with Paul, Lee will be setting up her digital camera and dictaphone for an in-depth interview which will take place the minute he is allowed to come up for air. As Endemol are paying I suggest caviar and pate de foie gras sandwiches for us, and coleslaw, of course, for H&P.
As ROB has said on another thread, after the playing, interview, photoshoot and after our own personal cyber warrior has emerged from the woods telling us that we can expect something beginning with D, ending with M and with 2 OOs in the middle, at any moment, we are all expecting to be invited in to watch the Will TV special at H&P's mini-house thingy.After which we will form the traditional arch, have a group hug, say and then there were 12 and then, I think we're gonna have to leave. At which point I'm gonna need everyone's help as I think Chilledbootz and ROB are going to have to be dragged off Paul kicking and screaming.
Is this all OK, so far?

[BigSister]

Say, can I come too?

Its a bit short notice but im quite small so i wont take up much room

[Kaz]

The more the merrier, BigSister - welcome on board!

Well done, peachy - your plans sound spot on. Nothing can stop us now.

However ....... I think I've come up with the perfect thing to lure Paul away from R.O.B. and Chilledbootz' clutches. Companies come round my work every so often and leave various items we can buy, and among the last lot was A BUILD YOUR OWN ROBOT KIT!!!

Now - after seeing Paul's Ultimate Warrior drawing on BBLB and his enthusiastic attempts to recreate it in the studio, I'm sure that when he claps eyes on the present I've brought for him, he'll be drawn to me like a magnet.

Sorry girls, but it's every woman for herself!

[chilledbootz]

Kaz nice try but you don't stand a chance. Poor Pauly won't stand a chance!!!!!. I'm thinking of bringing Anna Corn on the cob (Kournikova) to lure him then I can smash her over the head with her racquet!!!

[BigSister]

Ok thanxs

Im looking so forward to it

[Janette]

Looking forward to our trip now, especially as Will is coming

Thanks for the update Peachy, it's going to be a great day out

[LEE]

I dread to think what the headline in the 'News of the World' on Sunday 24th is going to be!

[peachy]

Thanks for all the suggestions. Big Sister, of course you can come with us. We need all the help we can get. Especially help with resucitating Paul after Kaz, Chilledbootz and ROB have all finished with him, can you administer oxygen and heart massage? I think the Robot Kit is an inspired idea as is Anna Corn-on-the-cob. The only problem I can foresee is trying to keep Helen away from Anna K. We dont want her 'dragging her out of this house by her hair', as she threatened to do with Naz, do we? Apart from that, it's all systems go. I wonder what ROB thinks of the plans, is there anything we've forgotten?

[Romantic Old Bird]

I think that's just about everything peachy.

I am very excited about the trip, but also worried, because I am not at all sure I will be able to share, and my mummy told me not to be selfish.

I'm going to have a real struggle letting go of what is left of the lovely scrummy one, when he has undergone the ROB love experience. He will probably hang on to me desperately and beg me not to leave him anyway, but ........

So, I don't mind how many people come, but, a few things to bear in mind:

1. He's mine
2. All mine
3. Totally and absolutely mine
4. Peachy, no video cameras please, I am not a porn star!
5. And, he's still mine!!!!


To the tune of Ebb Tide, one, two, three..

Ooooh, Paul Clarke, we want you, we've hungered for your touch, a long lonely time!
And time is what we've got, to find you, And time is what I'll get, when you've been mine!
But I don't care, I'll find you there, please don't be scared, (big finish) YOU'RE MINE!!!!



See, I told you I would have trouble sharing, but, I'll try.............honestly, I will...

On our way to Hadley, we shall not be moved................