[caprimint]

Originally Posted by vesavius

Context and intention is everything.

You can't just ignore that.

But, that aside, I am sure if one of the younger girls called her an hysterical old woman she would rage for days. God knows she was sensitive enough about having her smile even mentioned.

Originally Posted by Lostie!

Well actually it would if he used her age against her in a derogatory way (as some older people do towards younger people).

I agree with the OP, Joe has many faults so it's pretty silly to keep bringing up the fact that he's older when you have plenty of actual character flaws to judge him for. Not to mention "old man" sounds like a ridiculously juvenile insult for a grown adult to use.

I mean sure it's possible to be patronizing to a younger person, but it still can't really be considered as 'offensive' when it's not typically an offensive word. As KT Hopkins says - you choose what you get offended by.

[vesavius]

Originally Posted by caprimint

I mean sure it's possible to be patronizing to a younger person, but it still can't really be considered as 'offensive' when it's not typically an offensive word. As KT Hopkins says - you choose what you get offended by.

Is it for you to decide what others find offensive? Is it for others to decide what you do? or are you suggesting that no one should ever be offended by anything, even if the clear intention is to hurt and offend?

If someone is trying to openly use age or gender to belittle and demean someone by aggressively shrieking at them, is the target not allowed to be ever offended unless you personally deem it worthy?

If she was using gay in the same manner, would you be so cool with it?

[Jian Yang]

I really dislike both but is 56 really old man territory? My father is near that age and i don't consider him 'old'. My grandfather is 80, that is old!

Anyway as i said, dislike the pair of them. As a HM Rebecca is better i 'spose!!

[Lostie!]

Originally Posted by caprimint

I mean sure it's possible to be patronizing to a younger person, but it still can't really be considered as 'offensive' when it's not typically an offensive word. As KT Hopkins says - you choose what you get offended by.

But it can be insulting. The point is that using age as a stick to beat someone with is pretty ridiculous. Especially when you're harping on about how awful it is to home in on personal appearance, why is age any better?

And, as with the vast majority of what Hopkins comes out with, that defence is as weak now as it ever was.

[bitontheslide]

i don't take offence at being called old, its what i am. Its only people that pretend to be something they are not that get offended by it.

Factual accuracy is important. We don't have not so young peoples homes, or mature aged pensions.

[caprimint]

Originally Posted by vesavius

Is it for you to decide what others find offensive? Is it for others to decide what you do? or are you suggesting that no one should ever be offended by anything, even if the clear intention is to hurt and offend?

If someone is trying to openly use age or gender to belittle and demean someone by aggressively shrieking at them, is the target not allowed to be ever offended unless you personally deem it worthy?

If she was using gay in the same manner, would you be so cool with it?

Of course not, but you're assuming that Joe was insulted by it I guess or else it would have been pointless making the thread, unless you are personally offended by it if you are of Joe's age too maybe.

There is no such age limit to show what 'old' actually is, so that's why I'm finding this kinda silly. He's just older than her, everyone has a different perception of what 'old' is. It's obviously very different to using someone's sexuality as an attack because of discrimination etc etc so I won't even bother going into that as it's two different situations.

Originally Posted by Lostie!

But it can be insulting. The point is that using age as a stick to beat someone with is pretty ridiculous. Especially when you're harping on about how awful it is to home in on personal appearance, why is age any better?

And, as with the vast majority of what Hopkins comes out with, that defence is as weak now as it ever was.

If somebody is insulted over their age (literally just a number) being called out then I'd say that's their own problem tbh. If Rebecca had said "I don't like Joe because he's old" then I'd see how there could be an issue, but she didn't do this.

KT says lots of truth that many people are too afraid to say

[Lostie!]

Originally Posted by caprimint

There is no such age limit to show what 'old' actually is, so that's why I'm finding this kinda silly. He's just older than her, everyone has a different perception of what 'old' is. It's obviously very different to using someone's sexuality as an attack because of discrimination etc etc so I won't even bother going into that as it's two different situations.

Age discrimination is a thing. Not accusing Rebecca of that (she's just guilty of being pretty damn immature when she gets offended), but it's a reason why using age as an attack shouldn't be brushed off as so harmless.

Originally Posted by caprimint

If somebody is insulted over their age (literally just a number) being called out then I'd say that's their own problem tbh. If Rebecca had said "I don't like Joe because he's old" then I'd see how there could be an issue, but she didn't do this.

So, she was just randomly deciding to point out that he's an older man mid-rant without using it as an insult in any way? Sounds likely.

As has been said, if this was an unpopular male HM calling a popular female HM an "old woman" repeatedly, there wouldn't be half as much understanding on here.

And tbh, I'm not suggesting it's the most wildly offensive thing someone can say or that she hates older people etc. I just think it's a ridiculous thing to bring up when having a go at someone and, as I've said, pretty embarrassing for a grown adult in particular.

Originally Posted by caprimint

KT says lots of truth that many people are too afraid to say

This cliche doesn't become any more true despite how often people like to trot it out to feel more justified in their thoughts.

[Gusto Brunt]

Originally Posted by vesavius

...Especially as she was so fragile about her own appearance.

It's making her look like a hypocrite.

She is a hypocrite.

She conveniently forgot SHE judges women on appearance, if they're wearing make up or not.

And she uses a man's older years as an insult.

[vesavius]

Originally Posted by caprimint

Of course not, but you're assuming that Joe was insulted by it

No, I am not.

But if someone was charging through the house screaming negatively about Hannah's ethnicity, would you need to be shown her upset by it to be disgusted by it?

The thread isn't pointless, because the thread from the start has been making the point that it makes Rebecca a hypocrite by doing it and she needs to stop it.

Originally Posted by caprimint

If somebody is insulted over their age (literally just a number) being called out then I'd say that's their own problem tbh.

As long as you are consistent about this and apply it to all types of attacks intended to belittle and demean based on age, ethnicity, sexuality, and whatever else people cannot change.

Because otherwise you would be a hypocrite.

[Daniel-X]

Hmmm I mean he's hardly flowering with age is he?

[reece(:]

But wasn't everyone screaming when Jemima was called an old woman?

[vesavius]

Originally Posted by Daniel-X

Hmmm I mean he's hardly flowering with age is he?

Is that the point?