Marcus' Famous Quotes Thread - 101 Quotes!

[Brad.]

Originally posted by Nathan
Everyone is warming to Darkhorse!

thats true. I reckon the vast majority of this forum have him in their top 3 HMs

[Brad.]

Originally posted by bansheewails
There is a thread full of marcus quotes some where!

the almighty marcus quotes thread!!

[brian3]

When Charlie is making his way back from the message from home. "time to get the tissuess out"

[King Gizzard]

Theres **** in the pool and that rant made me rofl

[Jammers28]

Originally posted by DoM-h
I made a thread for this quote.

From the letter he sent to one of his fans. 'I'm glad you like cats. I have a Siamese one. His name is Abdul; he is a little sh*t

haha this one is so funny, and when he slagged off the production team in his message

[Kate!]

one of my faves is (to David) Sorry for calling u a *******!:pat:

[guigy]

Marcus heard a cameraman coughing last night while he was brushing his teeth

He said Oh not you again

Get some Tixylix lol

[quantocks]

Originally posted by *mazedsalv**
To Sophie about her Message from home- "It will be funny if they just show you a picture of your dogs grave"


IM CRYING. I'm laughing so ****ing hard.



hahahahahahahahahahahahahah

[brisbanebroncos]

Originally posted by guigy
Marcus heard a cameraman coughing last night while he was brushing his teeth

He said Oh not you again

Get some Tixylix lol

haha thats awesome. Marcus has saved this show so badly. God the show was boring when Marcus was just moping around after the noirin ****. but ever since noirin left, Marcus comes up with like 3 or 4 funny lines each day. He better win. His winning interview would be awesome, saying he knew hed win and calling Sree a wanker and everything hehe.

[Oooo_get_her]

Marcus: it's only a crane fly.
[...]
Bea: what was that doing on my foot?
Marcus: Maybe it was masturbating.


:banana::banana::banana:

[illusionist]

Bea was trying to 'guilt - trip' Marcus by the pool discussing about nominations..

Bea: "I dont know what to do?"
Marcus: "Do what you think is right."
Bea: "I dont know whats right"

Marcus: "The conflict of the human heart is to do the wrong thing when it know what is right."

[AfroMullet]

"Minge Bagery"

[santaa]

Marcus "Im going to be an arse model after the show"

[ILoveFreddie]

This is so funny to read

[BB22]

Could I request that Jayson updates the first post in this thread and the title? Lots of quality quotes have been added since the last update.

[aiv]

This was ages ago and I'm not sure whether somebody else had said this already or not:

After correctly predicting the winners of the sports day Marcus has won the opportunity to join the School Disco.
Marcus: Any team with Sree was going to lose.

[CaraRawr]

I love this thread xD

[fallenkal]

This man needs to be on TV long after Big Brother has ended.

[King Gizzard]

Originally posted by Oooo_get_her
Marcus: it's only a crane fly.
[...]
Bea: what was that doing on my foot?
Marcus: Maybe it was masturbating.


:banana::banana::banana:

that was ****ing amazing


Im getting this thread ready for the 3983498 amazing quotes he ll say tonight

[BlackOrWhite]

"Hello, my names Alfont. I'm a fricking idiot". Not one of his best but it made me laugh. :laugh::laugh:

[Boudicca]

"They're probably going to be friends in 5 minutes or they won't be"

[bansheewails]

Just Marcus' voice coming from the 'headless horseman' body laying in the garden whilst wrapped in a duvet, will be in my brain forever!

:joker:

[h33]

Practically the he-man of comedy.

ROFL

[BlackOrWhite]

Talking about his Mum - "Old minge-bag".

[SiCkBuLLeT]

Originally posted by BlackOrWhite
Talking about his Mum - "Old minge-bag".

lol i like this comedy name calling of his family its fun :tongue:

[Kate!]

who did he say number 12 about, don't remember that?!

please no more, my stomach is hurtin from laffin so hard.

[Kate!]

I would piss on your head while you slept. To Bea after she asked him what he would do if she stole his cider?:nono::nono::nono::nono::nono::nono::nono::n ono::nono::nono::nono::nono:

[Marc]

Marcus rocks my world!

"Old minge bag" :laugh2:

[King Gizzard]

Legend never fails to make me laugh!

[fallenkal]

Bea: "What do you want for a can?"

Marcus: "Blow job"

:laugh3:

[King Gizzard]

:joker:

[King Gizzard]

''tug me off bea,''

''come on bea its not gunna suck itself''

[King Gizzard]

''Wouldn't it be brilliant if you had mouths all over your body''

[King Gizzard]

''dyou know what, im the type of hero that could teach my dick to suck itself, thats how ****ing great i am''

[Brad.]

Originally posted by Nathan
''dyou know what, im the type of hero that could teach my dick to suck itself, thats how ****ing great i am''

PMSL!! :laugh3::laugh3::laugh3::laugh3:

this guy must know he is comedy gold!!!!!!!!!!

[SurferJay]

PMSROFLMAO

[BB22]

Originally posted by h33
Practically the he-man of comedy.

ROFL

That made me laugh out loud, and never a truer word spoken. Great stuff.

[Vicky.]

Loved what he said about his mum...something about why is she in the house, she should be at work...cant remeber the quote...Im crap :whistle:

[BB22]

"What does your mum look like, Marcus?"

"She was probably the one that looked most like a skeleton. That's probably why they chose her."

ROFL!

[BB22]

When Big Brother played the really loud crowd noise after someone shouted over the fence, Marcus and Rodrigo were walking past each other in the living room and Marcus started chanting:

"Get Rodrigo out! Get Rodrigo out!"

[Marc]

bastard bea!

:laugh2:

[SiCkBuLLeT]

"BB" If you had to sack someone who would it be

"Marcus" You

:thumbs:

[SiCkBuLLeT]

Some crackers tonight

Thats it Bea snatch it right out off my hand you ****ing **** LMAO

Some great photos there from the Irrepressible Dark Horse *or something like that*

Brilliant :thumbs2:

[Vicky.]

I bet I'l have seven hundred million billion (On how many emails he will have when he gets out) :bigsmile:

[Jayson]

I'll try and update the thread in a couple of days, but there are so many to add and I really can't be asked tonight, lol.

[GirlsAloud]

My favourite was the ''I have a Siamese called Abdul. He is a little ****" xxxxx

[JamesB]

Dear Rockchick.
Thank you for my letter. I'm glad someone appriciates me unlike the production team bastards. Sorry to hear about your accident. I hope all is well now. Glad to hear you like cats, I have siamese called Abdul. He is a little ****. I would like to write more but the aforementioned production team bastards are telling me my time is up.
All the ****ing best.
Marcus

[fallenkal]

"There's something there and you want it, and you can't have it and now you're pissing and moaning as usual. ****ing Bea, bloody bonkers Bea. Shut your ****ing cakehole bonkers Bea for once in your life"

[fallenkal]

Sophie: "You need anger management you swear so much"

Marcus "**** off!"

[Charberto]

I had to sign up to this forum just to post this - the guy is a legend!!

Upon hearing that his Mom had been on BB, for David to identify in the Mummy task:

"My ****ing mother?! Hahaaa, whats she ****ing doing on Big Bother? She should be doing some ****ing work, not coming on here. ****ing old mingebag."

Love him!

[siezz]

i'm the ultimate z list celebrity

[siezz]

Originally posted by Bradley.
Originally posted by Nathan
''dyou know what, im the type of hero that could teach my dick to suck itself, thats how ****ing great i am''

PMSL!! :laugh3::laugh3::laugh3::laugh3:

this guy must know he is comedy gold!!!!!!!!!!

lol i didn't hear that, imagine david saying that

[brisbanebroncos]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZH7r30w7dxc

does anyone else find this insanely funny. its not accurate or anything and most of it isnt funny, but just how aggressively he says "you bunch of ****ing wankers" cracks me up.

[ohflip]

When given task to clean up house he tells HM

"BB reminds HM not to drink the bleach"

[*mazedsalv**]

Got this from DS from Saturdays HL show, its brilliant:

Marcus "I'm taking my ******in chocolate with me!"
Bea "You're taking your chocolate with you?"
Marcus "Yeah I am!"
Bea "You greedy bastard!"
Marcus "****** OFF!" (the way he says it - pmsl )
Bea "Would you not leave it for people??"
Marcus "No - I want it!"
Bea "you can get plenty outside!"
Marcus "But I want that one!"
Bea "What's that one?"

Pause

Marcus "You're not going to begrudge me that are you Bea?!"
Bea "Well you shouldn't even have those!"
Marcus "Yeah, because that was the one for me - there wasn't a communial one cause everyone else had fa... DONT tell me whats what BEA!"
Bea "I still think its tight as a ******in fish's arse that you're just gonna take ..." ( pmsl )
Marcus "No - it's because there's something there and you want it and you cant have it so now you're pissing and moaning. As usual. ******in Bea. Bloody bonkers Bea. Shut your ******in cakehole bonkers Bea for once in yer life!!"
Bea "He's smuggling out his chocolate instead of leaving it for the people left behind."
Marcus "I'm not smuggling nothing out. I'm taking it out because I like it."
Bea "I think thats absolutely disgusting. Completely ******ing in character!"
Marcus "half a bar of ******in chocolate - I ask you whats the ******in world coming to?"

Marcus: 'I think she's pretty, she talks like a man, but...I can live with that..." About Lucy Pinder :bigsmile:

"I think Im going to call him Alfonze!" About the head in the House of Horrors task.

[SiCkBuLLeT]

Originally posted by *mazedsalv**
Got this from DS from Saturdays HL show, its brilliant:

Marcus "I'm taking my ******in chocolate with me!"
Bea "You're taking your chocolate with you?"
Marcus "Yeah I am!"
Bea "You greedy b******!"
Marcus "****** OFF!" (the way he says it - pmsl )
Bea "Would you not leave it for people??"
Marcus "No - I want it!"
Bea "you can get plenty outside!"
Marcus "But I want that one!"
Bea "What's that one?"

Pause

Marcus "You're not going to begrudge me that are you Bea?!"
Bea "Well you shouldn't even have those!"
Marcus "Yeah, because that was the one for me - there wasn't a communial one cause everyone else had fa... DONT tell me whats what BEA!"
Bea "I still think its tight as a ******in fish's arse that you're just gonna take ..." ( pmsl )
Marcus "No - it's because there's something there and you want it and you cant have it so now you're pissing and moaning. As usual. ******in Bea. Bloody bonkers Bea. Shut your ******in cakehole bonkers Bea for once in yer life!!"
Bea "He's smuggling out his chocolate instead of leaving it for the people left behind."
Marcus "I'm not smuggling nothing out. I'm taking it out because I like it."
Bea "I think thats absolutely disgusting. Completely ******ing in character!"
Marcus "half a bar of ******in chocolate - I ask you whats the ******in world coming to?"

Marcus: 'I think she's pretty, she talks like a man, but...I can live with that..." About Lucy Pinder :bigsmile:

"I think Im going to call him Alfonze!" About the head in the House of Horrors task.

pure Brilliant :hello:

[Nigeria_Bob]

Someone sticky these words of Wisdom :love:

[Taralove]

Lol, I'd love to see him on QI or 8 out of 10 cats or something!!
Would be brilliant!

[wildcatlovesthedarkhorse]

Originally posted by Taralove
Lol, I'd love to see him on QI or 8 out of 10 cats or something!!
Would be brilliant!

I couldn't agree more! :cheer2:

[BB22]

This thread is made of pure win.

[brian3]

"you look like the geezer out of the monster munch advert"

[Vicky.]

:dazzler: Bump :dazzler:

[Jordan.]

"Do you want gangster slapping"

[GirlsAloud]

I sent him the quotes on the first page in an email.

"it's like someone's cut my arsecheeks open and put in 2 golf balls of pain"

Sophie: "Am I a barbie girl?"
Marcus: "No you're too fat."

Sophie: "Can I have your can aswell?"
Marcus: "You can **** off"

"I can do backflips, wallflips, somersaults, everrryyythinggg"

[SurferJay]

"I could tell you things that you could study, say 10 years at university and you still wouldnt be able to match my intellect"

Someone should email a link to this thread to his website.

[GirlsAloud]

Originally posted by BigBrotherFan01
"I could tell you things that you could study, say 10 years at university and you still wouldnt be able to match my intellect"

Someone should email a link to this thread to his website.
Done that about an hour or two ago. :hugesmile:

[SurferJay]

Originally posted by GirlsAloud
Originally posted by BigBrotherFan01
"I could tell you things that you could study, say 10 years at university and you still wouldnt be able to match my intellect"

Someone should email a link to this thread to his website.
Done that about an hour or two ago. :hugesmile:

:thumbs: Wonder what he will make of it

[GirlsAloud]

Originally posted by BigBrotherFan01
Originally posted by GirlsAloud
Originally posted by BigBrotherFan01
"I could tell you things that you could study, say 10 years at university and you still wouldnt be able to match my intellect"

Someone should email a link to this thread to his website.
Done that about an hour or two ago. :hugesmile:

:thumbs: Wonder what he will make of it I doubt he'll read it. He did after all say he'd recieve ''700 million billion emails'' :laugh2:

[SurferJay]

lol

[Vicky.]

Originally posted by GirlsAloud
I doubt he'll read it. He did after all say he'd recieve ''700 million billion emails'' :laugh2:

:laugh::laugh::laugh:

[alc09]

The Grave Yard shift :laugh2:

[Brad.]

what a legend. these quotes are all awesome

[alc09]

He's got to stay.

Bradley, who you supporting if he goes?

I'm not supporting any of the bastards bar Marcus, I cannot stand the rest of them.

[Brad.]

Originally posted by alc09
He's got to stay.

Bradley, who you supporting if he goes?

I'm not supporting any of the bastards bar Marcus, I cannot stand the rest of them.

Same with me. i think they're all diickheads apart from marcus, who is the ultimate BB legend. i wont bother not watching though cos theres only a week left

[alc09]

Likewise.

Used to like Siavash, but its clear now that he's the biggest game player in there and makes drama out of everything, cannot stand him.

[danda012]

I can't remember the exact wording but he was chatting to Noirin and then Big Brother called him to the Diary Room. Just before he left he said:

"Next time could you try not to cockblock me"

Anybody have a more accurate version?

[Nigeria_Bob]

"Next time could you try not to blowcock me"

[BB22]

On last night's highlights show.

While protesting against Big Brother's restrictive rules in the recycling task: "10/10, go and see matron and get an extra piece of tuck".

To Big Brother: "You're a bad man. And I don't mean bad-good. I mean bad-bad."

Conversation with Rodrigo:

Marcus - "It's natural Roddy."
Rodrigo - "It's bad, Marcus."
Marcus - "It's naturally bad."

[staceyxxx]

marcus' new one - 'im gonna go and work the graveyard shift'

[staceyxxx]

lol,, i love marcus,, LOVE SIAVASH EVEN MOREEE!
evict marcus - 09016 16 16 09. x

[CaraRawr]

"Maybe we should make it of a man masturbating because they're all wankers."

LMFAO

[ange7]

about siavash
"he doesn't want to go up against me because he knows he'll go out on his ass!!"

[staceyxxx]

i like this one best - To Bea... Did the doctors take one look at your face and one at your arse and say oh look Siamese twins?
its funnyy!! but its mean,, cuz i love bea
it would have been funnier if he would have said it to noirin!!!!!
lol,, love his qoutes!
but... EVICT MARCUS... siavash 2 win
call this number people - 09016 16 16 09

[alc09]

Come on people, keep adding his best quotes even though the Dark Horse has gone. :thumbs:

"There is only one thing that can be done in this situation...The ****ing Grave Yard Shift"

"I am the 100% man. I am the Irrepressible Dark Horse. And if i want bubbles, boy will I ****ing have bubbles"

[Jayson]

I miss Marcus :bawling:

[IrrepressibleDH]

This thread is great! I can't even remember saying half of those things!

[Brad.]

Thats because you were caught up in being an absolute legend and saying other funny things

[Novo]

44. Do you know why tigers are dieing out? because they're bored

the best one

[Jayson]

This thread is great! I can't even remember saying half of those things!Too epic for your own memory bank! :cheer:

[Patrick]

This thread is great! I can't even remember saying half of those things!


Im sure Millions of BB fans will be sayen your quotes for years to come :thumbs:


Legend Marcus, cant belive your here mate.

Welcome :hugesmile:

[J-Rock]

I can't believe I keep missing Marcus - time for a U2U

[staceyxxx]

marcus ... i love yaa xxx

[staceyxxx]

marcus ... i love yaa xxx

[dixiebell1991]

Hey Marcus, swear for your fans - they love it.
rock and roll yeah and stuff like that
ps - sorry about you & norin, but Tom's a good bloke and will give her what she needs.

[Stephanie]

bumping this because it's epic.

[Jack_]

I've just finished reading every single page and can't stop ****ing laughing. The man is, and always will be the greatest housemate ever.

I miss him, and Jayson :sad:

[Stephanie]

:(

marcus the legend.

[Patrick]

Is this still not bloody stickied?

Get on it.

[Patrick]

This Thread, so many memories:

15. Big Brother: In a conversation with Noirin, you said, I will show him the meaning of pain
Marcus: Yeah thats from a film

21. I'm Just sad about Michael Jackson

28. BB: how are you feeling about being up for nomination?
Marcus: Am I allowed to swear?
BB: if you need to
Marcus: I couldnt really give a ***** to be honest

67. Sophie: in alice in wonderland they had a tea party
Marcus: I hate tea, did they have diet pepsi and 7up at the teaparty?
Sophie: no
Marcus: well they were *****ing w*nkers then


:worship: Reminds me just why I loved him so much.

[Jordan.]

In a conversation with Sophie.......

"Sophie if you dont nominate me i'll headbutt you so hard we'll both scream"

:laugh:

:joker::joker::joker:

[Jordan.]

What a great thread, time to get reading all 15 pages.

[Patrick]

I made a thread for this quote.

From the letter he sent to one of his fans. 'I'm glad you like cats. I have a Siamese one. His name is Abdul; he is a little sh*t

:joker::joker::joker::joker::joker:

[Jack_]

This thread :love: what a man.

What a great thread, time to get reading all 15 pages.

I shall be joining you.

[Patrick]

Originally posted by *mazedsalv**
To Sophie about her Message from home- "It will be funny if they just show you a picture of your dogs grave"


:laugh2: :laugh2: :laugh2:

[Jordan.]

Originally posted by *mazedsalv**
To Sophie about her Message from home- "It will be funny if they just show you a picture of your dogs grave"


:laugh2: :laugh2: :laugh2:

:laugh3:

[Jack_]

Just been through the entire thread, and aside from the legendary ones in the OP, these are my favourites. I was pmsl.

'if they start having sex in the middle of the night, I will creep up with a spoon and whack him in the ball bag'

:laugh3:

"a few people strumming one out over the dark horse"

:laugh3:

On LF now.

BB tells HM's off for talking about the audition process.

Marcus 'Oh get the sand out of your vagina!'



:laugh2::laugh2::laugh2:

I remember this one vividly :laugh3:

About 10 mins ago:

Marcus: Bea, you're a greasy hippy.

RANDOMM

"I am the yardstick against wich all others are measured.You can't get no one cooler. I was born to be the man.It's done and dusted,set in stone.Whatever i do is cool.I breathe cool,I sleep cool.I s*it cool.you can't beat captain cool as ******,it can't be done"

The last one is brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Marcus' signature quote :worship:

I can't believe nobody has put this one on here from last night's highlights show:

While Lisa is gagging on a tart with pig's eyeballs, David is eating a tart with pig tails and Halfwit is eating a tart with "head cheese", Marcus bangs on the glass and asks...

"What's the pastry like?"

I almost fell off my chair. Absolute comedy gold.

:joker: :joker: :joker: :joker: :joker: :joker: :joker: :joker:

About Hira: 'Noone's gonna notice that she's gone, nobody bloody noticed that she was here'

:laugh3:

'I acccidently pulled a plate in half while I was eating'

'I dont know, how come I didnt die?'

'I think i could pretty much eat a brick and my stomach acids would dissolve it'

To Sophie, "I've never nominated you once for sniffing my boxer shorts."

:laugh2:

:joker: :joker: :joker: :joker: :joker:

'The consequences will be my urine all over your camera' - THE BEST QUOTE YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:laugh2:

Marcus: I wonder if Leona Lewis will have sex with me?
Freddie: Who is she?
Marcus: That bird, who done that song, who needs my schlong.

:laugh3:

oh my :laugh3:

"I think I might just smash your poxy little cardboard house to its foundations - how do you like them ******ing apples!"

PMSL :laugh3:

To Sophie about her Message from home- "It will be funny if they just show you a picture of your dogs grave"

Genius.

:joker:

"This chair is sh*t...."

He sums it up so perfectly :joker:

David: "I think you're an pathetic excuse of a man"

Marcus: "Well I think you're a ****ing fat ****"

:laugh2:

The best comeback in an argument in the history of Big Brother.

:laugh3:

Talking about his Mum - "Old minge-bag".

:joker:

''tug me off bea,''

''come on bea its not gunna suck itself''

:joker: :joker: :joker: :joker: :joker:

''dyou know what, im the type of hero that could teach my dick to suck itself, thats how ****ing great i am''

:joker:

Sophie: "You need anger management you swear so much"

Marcus "**** off!"

:laugh2:

I had to sign up to this forum just to post this - the guy is a legend!!

Upon hearing that his Mom had been on BB, for David to identify in the Mummy task:

"My ****ing mother?! Hahaaa, whats she ****ing doing on Big Bother? She should be doing some ****ing work, not coming on here. ****ing old mingebag."

Love him!

:laugh2: :laugh2: :laugh2:

Come on people, keep adding his best quotes even though the Dark Horse has gone. :thumbs:

"There is only one thing that can be done in this situation...The ****ing Grave Yard Shift"

"I am the 100% man. I am the Irrepressible Dark Horse. And if i want bubbles, boy will I ****ing have bubbles"

:joker: :joker: :joker:

The man was a legend.

[Patrick]

David: "I think you're an pathetic excuse of a man" :hmph:

Marcus: "Well I think you're a ******ng fat *****!"


OH MY GOD. :laugh3: :laugh3:

[Jordan.]

"What's the pastry like?"

:joker:

Doubt we'll ever get another male housemate as great as Marcus.

[Patrick]

That quote about smacking Kris on the ballbag. Had me roaring with laughter for weeks.

[Jack_]

I hated Kris the **** (was my nickname for him). Mophead twat. He could only dream of being as good as Marcus and Freddie.

[Patrick]

The way he bullied Freddie was horrible.

[Jack_]

The way he bullied Freddie was horrible.

Yeah I know, he was the main offender as well and like Marcus says in his rant (I posted it in that thread btw) they never got called in for mimicking his accent like Marcus did with Sree. Actually there's a part in the clip where Freddie pipes up in the garden about the argument and then both Lisa and Kris start telling him to 'be quiet' and 'not to get involved'. It actually annoyed me all these years on.

[Jack_]

OH MY GOD.

I just remembered this. One of Marcus' greatest moments. I remember how many times I replayed this and pissed myself laughing each time.

AEXU9QK7_WE

:laugh3: :laugh3: :laugh3:

[Shaun]

i think i just overdosed on joker smileys

also a lot of these aren't unique :suspect: (like 35, 37, 38, 47, 75 OKAY I'M SKIMREADING HERE I'M SORRY I CAN'T DO A FULL CRITIQUE)

however a lot are brilliant. :love:

[Patrick]

OH MY GOD.

I just remembered this. One of Marcus' greatest moments. I remember how many times I replayed this and pissed myself laughing each time.

AEXU9QK7_WE

:laugh3: :laugh3: :laugh3:

Big Brother was a legend there.

'because you called us a wanker and a prick, your not having that either!'

LOL. They clearly hated him.

[Kate!]

This is one of my alltime ever favourite tibb threads. :worship:

[King Gizzard]

the GOAT.

[reece(:]

Marcus:worship:

[RandomPerson]

best. thread. ever

[Flamingjoe]

David: "I think you're an pathetic excuse of a man" :hmph:

Marcus: "Well I think you're a ******ng fat *****!"


OH MY GOD. :laugh3: :laugh3:

:laugh3:

[Jack_]

The King lives on :love: I've just been massively cheered up once again reading this thread.

[Jake.]

David: "I think you're an pathetic excuse of a man" :hmph:

Marcus: "Well I think you're a ******ng fat *****!"


OH MY GOD. :laugh3: :laugh3:

:laugh2:

The King lives on :love: I've just been massively cheered up once again reading this thread.

:worship:

[Black Dagger]

Him putting David in place :lovedup:

Definitely up there as my favourite male house-mate.

[Patrick]

This thread always makes me smile :love:

[Jake.]

I miss BB10 :(

[Patrick]

If we had Live Feed it would of been a far better series tbh

[DoM-h]

Epic.

The love for Marcus on here during BB was great. Had such a cult following online.

[Jack_]

Haven't read this for a while :joker: :joker: :joker: :joker: :joker: :joker: :joker: :joker:

[Babayaro.]

This thread is amazing. Literally laughed out loud reading them

Dead at the pastry one :joker:

[Daniel.]

Terrible housemate

[Babayaro.]

Terrible housemate
Lies :nono:

[Liam-]

One of the best housemates ever, what a man

[Daniel.]

All he did was sulk after Queen Noirin

[LukeB]

Talk about overrated housemates

[Liam-]

All he did was sulk after Queen Noirin

The quotes in the OP beg to differ.

Respect the pure man form of Wolverine.

[Black Dagger]

And yet your favourite was Sophie

[Pete.]

:omgno:

[Liam-]

67. Sophie: in alice in wonderland they had a tea party

Marcus: I hate tea, did they have diet pepsi and 7up at the teaparty?

Sophie: no

Marcus: well they were *****ing w*nkers then

****ing icon

[LukeB]

And yet your favourite was Sophie

and your point is? I hardly see anyone rate Sophie tbh.

[Black Dagger]

and your point is? I hardly see anyone rate Sophie tbh.

Erm people love Sophie on here for some bizarre reason.

[Liam-]

I need to redo my favourites list, I might have missed Marcus off last time, but this thread has reminded me of how incredible he was

[Vicky.]

Marcus :love:

[LukeB]

Erm people love Sophie on here for some bizarre reason.

because she's fantastic and isn't as disgusting as Marcus from what I remember

[Black Dagger]

Fantastic is an odd way to put it

[Denver]

Ewww

[Babayaro.]

Aw yes, some bed time reading for later on

[Dominic]

perched to read this and get nightmares

[Jack_]

Ewww

You need banning

[Black Dagger]

He thought Lisa was a good housemate, he needs help.

[reece(:]

These can't be his best quotes:suspect:

If they are I overrate his one liners.

[Denver]

He thought Lisa was a good housemate, he needs help.

She was a phenomenal housemate

[Babayaro.]

Lisa was AWFUL. I have no idea how she managed to stay until Day 90, seeing as she managed to suck the fun out of everything. A truly crap housemate

[Black Dagger]

Her only highlight was nearly being poisoned by Sree.

[Denver]

My sister is Facebook freinds with her

[Macie Lightfoot]

Lisa was AWFUL. I have no idea how she managed to stay until Day 90, seeing as she managed to suck the fun out of everything. A truly crap housemate

Freddie, Marcus, and Siavash sucked the fun out of everything when they pointlessly broke rule after rule after rule just to grab for some screentime.

[Babayaro.]

Freddie/Marcus/Siavash's rule breaking > Anything Lisa done

She was totally miserable. I liked her for about 5 minutes and that was on launch night

[Jake.]

"I'd shag all of girls aloud, minus the ginger one" made me wretch

[Babayaro.]

"I'm just sad about Michael Jackson"

Lmfao

[reece(:]

I don't get how over 3/4s of these can be funny:shrug:

[Jack_]

Marcus:worship:

These can't be his best quotes:suspect:

If they are I overrate his one liners.

I don't get how over 3/4s of these can be funny:shrug:

whatisthetruth.gif

[Jack_]

She was a phenomenal housemate

Okay now you need banning from watching TV

[Marsh.]

"Please welcome your host..... Emmmmaaaaa Willliissss!!!!!"

[reece(:]

whatisthetruth.gif
I liked him but these quotes are a poor selling point

[Marsh.]

"I'd shag all of girls aloud, minus the ginger one" made me wretch

It made all of girls aloud wretch.

Minus the ginger one.

[LukeB]

I warmed to Marcus on my re-watch :shame: but I only watched 2 weeks of it and gave up

[Jack_]

Admin deleted. No Insults. Posting ban if repeated.

An iconic quote

[Vicky.]

Lisa was AWFUL. I have no idea how she managed to stay until Day 90, seeing as she managed to suck the fun out of everything. A truly crap housemate

TBF she would have left earlier had BB not switched to vote to save the week she was up...sacrificing Hira instead :laugh:

[LukeB]

TBF she would have left earlier had BB not switched to vote to save the week she was up...sacrificing Hira instead :laugh:

Classy Hira > Lisachav

[Babayaro.]

whatisthetruth.gif

Oop

[empire]

; LET' HIM' WHO' HAVE' UNDERSTANDING', RECKON THE NUMBER OF THE BEAST; FOR' IT' IS' A' HUMAN' NUMBER', ITS' NUMBER IS SIX HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SIX, Marcus should of won it, he will always be a bb legend.

[Epic.]

Added by popular demand :love:

Earlier today, you and Sree had an argument whilst doing the shopping list. Big Brother spoke to you about the language that was used in that conversation, but in that conversation Marcus, Big Brother was clearly reminding you of using people's cultural background in a derogatory manner. The formal warning relates to the argument between you and Sree in the garden, not the argument you had when you were doing the shopping list. Marcus, is there anything that you would like to say?
Marcus: Yeah you're talking ****. That's double standards and complete wank. I'm sorry but that is complete wank. I was sitting there, I was the recipient of him--WHAT SERIOUSLY, SERIOUSLY WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? IF SOMEBODY GETS OUT OF A CHAIR--IF I GET OUT OF A CHAIR AND GO UP TO YOUR CAMERA AND GO 'UUUUGH' LIKE THAT, that is not as aggressive as sitting there minding your own business saying to someone 'If you're going to do something then, don't just talk about it, you do it' HOW is THAT--you're just talking absolute bollox I'm sorry but think about it think about the words I'm saying, are we talking in different languages? I get up like this, I come up to you 'UUUUGH' like that and someone's sitting down like 'Alright, do whatever. Go on make me' like that, the only reason you're saying that is cause I'm BIGGER than him! And that's almost like a race thing or an ageist thing or a sexist thing! That is absolute bollox!
...Marcus, your age, race and size has nothing to do with this--
Marcus: --BOLLOX, size definitely does.
Earlier today, you said to Sree and I quote 'And when we get outside, then say it then. Say it when we're outside. Don't say a single more thing when we're in here. Let's see if your so brave, Let's see if your so brave outside.'
Marcus: Yeah? Exactly.
Big Brother is in no doubt that this language is threatening.
Marcus: No see, that's you second guessing what i'm thinking. I explained to you what exactly was going through my mind when I said that. When I say it to him when he's outside, he's not gonna say a single thing. Now I haven't got a single thing in the world to gain by smacking around a lil pissant like that. Like, as I said to other people, I could kill him, really honestly kill him with my EYEBROW if I wanted to. There's a million billion people out there, who need a smack. I've never HIT anyone like that in my entire life, and I probably never will. I've got nothing to gain, even by acknowledging his existence outside this house. He has to come in here and you have to watch it like that and play his little game, because he's in here ****ing hours and hours a day, bloody crying and pissing in his pants about anything that he can get a bit of sympathy about, and it's obviously worked. So SHAME ON YOU for falling for his absolute stupid pathetic transparent little plans, just to come in here and make us all look absolute idiots because that's what he's doing and you're falling for it and it's just... offensive, and it's just spoiling every single thing that your show is supposed to stand for. So you need to grow a pair, and get him in here and say 'Look, it's not all about you, you lil ****er, there ARE rules in this place you know what I mean?' And make a ****ing precedent and then hopefully, people watching can get something positive from it instead of always fawning to little pissant wankers like that spoiling everything that society has, like, going for it.
Marcus, Big Brother treats all housemates equally--
Marcus: --Bollox ABSOLUTE bollox and this is proof of it.
Marcus, Big Brother's decision is final. The diary room door is now open.
-Marcus leaves-
Oh well done my FACKING tea is gone cold now you stupid wankers!http://www.brantsteele.com/images/bigbrother/uk/10/marcus.png

[Epic.]

-Bea and Marcus have come to the diary room-
Bea: I would like to exchange my token for alcohol this evening please.
Big Brother is happy to exchange your token this evening if you could put that in the slot in front of you.
Bea: Thank you very much :blush: Obviously Marcus wants to have a chat with you, enjoy that :blush: But it would be great if it could come while Marcus is still in here cause he's likely to be here a while, y'know what he's like :rolleyes: Excuse me, Marcus :blush: -gets off chair-
Thank you Bea if you could just place your token in the slot. The diary room door is now open.
Bea: Enjoy :blush:
Marcus: I shall. :blush:
-Bea exits diary room-
How are you Marcus?
Marcus: I've been better.
In what way have you 'been better'?
Marcus: In a way that before the eviction result was read out, I was happy and now I am not so happy.
And why is that?
Marcus: Because you locked me in a house full of ****ing idiots like that one that just walked out the door. -points at Bea-
Can you explain to Big Brother what it is that you're particularly worried about with Bea at the moment?
Marcus: I'm not worried about anything with Bea the woman's a ****ing idiot. That's it. Look how selfish she is. Every single thing, every single little thing that crops up in this house: (imitates Bea) "Ohhh but what about ME :( AWW MEE :( ME-ME-ME AWW that person's doing THIS that person's doing THAAAT :( Me Me Me Me Me :( " ...Pretty much everyone else is just bumlickin each other because they're getting close to the end. It's just Bumlicks, and I hate Bumlicks. I don't wanna be stuck in a house now where every single person now is a Bumlick. With maybe the exception of Lisa.
And how do you intend to cope with living in a house with... these housemates?
Marcus: I have no idea. I think I might just smash your poxy lil cardboard house to its foundations. How about those ****ing apples?

[Epic.]

Seeing as I've got past his eviction, here's a chunk of true gems many people seem to forget :love: :

Bea: -to Marcus- :bawling: DO YOU FEEL BETTER NOW -storms off into bathroom- :bawling:
Marcus: -turns to Charlie- ...Were we not having a nice talk about Girls Aloud till she came in? :shrug:
After David has to guess between 4 women to find out which one is Marcus' mum:
David: She was quite short, very nice hairstyle, blondish.
Marcus: Hm?
David: Is she quite short Marcus? What size would ya say she is in clothing?
Marcus: Very small and skinny.
David: I think I've got it then.
Marcus: Load-a WANKERS bringing my mother in. She should be doin some FACKING work somewhere. Skiving off work the lazy bastard! This is HILARIOUS :laugh: OLD MINGEBAG.
http://www.brantsteele.com/images/bigbrother/uk/10/marcus.png
Bea: Marcus what would you do if I just went and stole your drink from your drawer?
Marcus: I WOULD PISS ON YOUR HEAD WHILST YOU SLEPT.
http://www.brantsteele.com/images/bigbrother/uk/10/marcus.png
Bea: MARCUS? WE'VE GOT MAGAZINES IN. WITH THINGS ABOUT US. THERE'S AN ARTICLE SAYING: 'FREDDIE something-something BONKERS BEA?'
Marcus: :joker::joker:
Bea: BONKERS BEA?
Marcus: BASTARD BEA.
Bea: I'M NOT BLOODY BOOONKERS.
Marcus: BASTARD BLOODY MINGEBAG ARSEHOLE FACKING ARSEHOLE BEA.
-Marcus is in the diary room-
Marcus, who do you think will be evicted tonight?
Marcus: Could Not Give A ****... That is who I think will be evicted.
......If you were to be evicted tonight, do you think the house would be lacking anything next week?
Marcus: Obviously? The irrepressible ****ing dark horse. This programme would go to ****, it would go from FIVE stars to HALF a star in a matter of... 10 seconds! Because as soon as I've done my bloody interview with Davina McCall, people will have NO further reason to switch on their television sets on Channel 4 at 9 o'clock.
Could you elaborate on what 'the irrepressible dark horse' brings to the house?
Marcus: He brings wit, humour, rugged good looks, athleticism, grotesque muscularity, he washes plants, he changes bins, he does washing up, he sleeps in the corner, he whistles, he makes crude and ill-witted jokes, he has superior fashion sense, beautiful sideburns and lovely long hair, he's generous, benevolent, heroic, MACHO--
Anything else?
Marcus: Plenty of other things but You Don't Not Got The Time to listen to them all. Oh Hell No Not Neither. The irrepressible dark horse... the hundred percent man... the ULTIMATE Z-list celebrity....
http://www.brantsteele.com/images/bigbrother/uk/10/marcus.png
-Most of the housemates are in the living room, talking about Bea-
Sophie: She's really got nice eyes and stuff.
Lisa: Yeah she's a pretty girl.
Marcus: I didn't think she was pretty? I don't think she was pretty not at all! I didn't think she was? I think she looked kinda weird...
Sophie: Marcus that's a horrible thing to say about someone
Marcus: SHE DID. She got like long arms like a... plant. C'mon, she had big massive legs and a REALLY skinny long trunk and big long arms -stretches arms out-
Rodrigo: No Marcus she was very pretty she had very nice smile.
Marcus: She's a PUPPET.
Siavash: Marcus leave the girl alone please.
Marcus: She looked like a facking puppet...
Charlie and Siavash: *argue in front of Marcus*
Marcus: *walks outside* There's only one thing to do in this situation... *points forward*
David: ...graveyard shift?
Marcus: The ****ing graveyard shift :blush: Listening to that ****ing cack all night *sulks off to corner with duvet*
Hello Marcus. Big Brother has called you to the diary room to give you the opportunity to win some money towards the winner's prize fund.
Marcus: Mmm...
Marcus, Big Brother will add £10,000 to the prize fund if you allow one of your fellow housemates to cut off your ponytail.
Marcus: ****. Off.
Is that your final answer Marcus?
Marcus: Yes. Cram it up your Scabby Fat Arse.
Marcus, Big Brother is prepared to up the offer... to £11,000 how does that sound?
Marcus: ****...it's not gonna happen so just open the door.
£12,000, Marcus?
Marcus: Boring... One, Million, Pounds :smug:
How about £13,000, Marcu--
Marcus: --How about one million pounds and a popular German sports car? :smug:
Marcus, would you prepared to allow one of your fellow housemates to cut off your ponytail for £13,000??
Marcus: Foooor one million pounds and a popular German sports car!
You drive a very hard bargain Marcus. But, Big Brother will offer you £14,000 towards the prize fund in exchange for your ponytail.
Marcus: One. MILLION. Pounds.
Marcus... Big Brother's FINAL offer is...... £15,000.
Marcus: I will say it now... I want you to listen very carefully so there's no mix-up... You can Go. And Get. ****ed.
http://www.brantsteele.com/images/bigbrother/uk/10/marcus.png
This is Big Brother, w--
Marcus: --OHH SHUT THE **** UP YA GREAT BIG BASTARD.
You must create an effigy of Big Brother using this recycling...
Marcus: Oh that's easy you could just draw a pile of faeces...
Davina: A lot of people were offended by your attitude, in particular I think towards women. I mean, with the Big Brother men you were one way but with the Big Brother women sometimes it was a bit below the belt because, just made me a bit uncomfortable. What would you say to that?
Marcus: It's bollocks.
'I wonder how many women pretend their husbands are ME when they have sex with them!'
'I think I could pretty much eat a brick and my stomach acid would dissolve it.'
Marcus: -reads instructions- 'The strong men and women must pull a truck with approximately 4 tonnes?' That's NOTHING I could do that with my bell end :laugh:

[Babayaro.]

'I think I could pretty much eat a brick and my stomach acid would dissolve it.'

Bye :joker:

[Tony Montana]

Bye :joker:

That one killed me!

[Epic.]

[Remembered some more classics :love:

Audition interviewer: Do you think you look like Wolverine?
Marcus: He looks like me, I don't look like him yeah? Let's get that straight

Marcus: *points at Noirin's breasts* Like WHAT am I gonna say about THEM? :laugh:
Noirin: "Can I have a bowl of that?" :rolleyes:
Marcus: Good girl :thumbs:

Bea: If it's true and someone doesn't wanna hear what's true, maybe they should change THEMselves!
Marcus: I'm sorry Bea but you will not like what happens when you get out of here :rolleyes:
Bea: I don't give a ****.
Marcus: That's what everyone says when they totally do :rolleyes:

Marcus: You are a brick wall because of the things you say and then when people give it back to you you get like THIS :/
Bea: DO YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GOING IN THERE TO TELL THEM THAT YOU ARE A ****ING BULLY. :bawling:
Marcus: ...Well go on then :shrug:

Diary Room: I was just wondering if it would be possible for me to borrow my beard trimmers and the attachment as well because I think I will do my pubes today please...

"I was born to be the man. It's a done deal done and dusted!"

Noirin: Me and Siavash kissed.
Marcus: ...Well you've ****ed it all up now haven't ya? :(

*Marcus gets critique for the "graveyard shift" wanking*
Marcus: I could've been one of the odd people in BED and do it next to someone else. At the end of the time, if you total up the tallies, I've got the lowest tally! 7 and a bit!
Davina: Wait wait wait! Are you counting the amount of times you *whistles* :skull:
Marcus: Rodrigo was on double figures!

"I am THE irrepressible dark horse. Film it, listen to it, live it and love it! There is your elaboration."

[Legrand]

He was a right laugh wasn't he