silly jokes

[Siouxsie]

anyone know any silly jokes i could do with a cheer up

[1_In_A_Million]

whats black and white and rolling?
a nun falling down the stairs!

whats black and white and laughing?
the nun that pushed her!

whats black and white and squashed?
the nun the first nun fell on!

:laugh:

[Siouxsie]

Why did grandma stick her head in a computer ?


Someone told her she should put her hair in a net :joker::joker:

[1_In_A_Million]

what buscuit makes a lot of noise?

a custard scream

[1_In_A_Million]

what did the cat say when it had no money?

i'm paw

[Siouxsie]

hOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOU SAW A DINASOUR IN YOUR GARDEN ?



Very old

[1_In_A_Million]

two tomatoes were walking down the street one of them was in the lead it turned round and shouted hurry up and ketchup!

[Siouxsie]

:elephant::joker:

[1_In_A_Million]

cat: i'll be bark (back)

HEY THATS THE DOGS LINE!

:dog:

[Siouxsie]

How can you double your money ?

Look at it in the mirror:joker::joker:

[1_In_A_Million]

lol

[1_In_A_Million]

did you hear the one about the rotton egg?

no, oh well too bad

[1_In_A_Million]

i don't get my egg joke!

[1_In_A_Million]

i got it off an easter egg years ago!

[Siouxsie]

:joker::joker:

[1_In_A_Million]

how about the good old origonal joke!

why did the chicken cross the road?
to get to the other side!

[Di2001]

Just had a Penguin biscuit with this joke on it -


What happened to the shark that swallowed a bunch of keys?

He got lockjaw

:hugesmile::hugesmile::hugesmile::hugesmile::huges mile::hugesmile:

[Siouxsie]

Teacher should i put the school computer on



child no the dress your wearing looks fine

[Slartibartfast]

Why did the turkey cross the road?

Chicken's day off.

Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

Chickens weren't invented in those days.

[1_In_A_Million]

what do you get if you cross and elephant and a kangaroo?
big holes in australia

[1_In_A_Million]

knock knock
who's there?
open the door and find out

[1_In_A_Million]

mother: why have you got a big red cross on your homework you got it all right

child: the teacher was cross at me

[Corkie]

why did the chicken cross the road?
toget to the other side
why did he want too go too the other side?
to go to the pub
why did he go too the pub?
to go to the toilet
why did he go too the toilet?
hang out with all the cocks

(as in the birds)
:rolleyes:

[Siouxsie]

:colour:

[Corkie]

props heared ths one man there where three man an english and irish and a scotish


and they find a magic slide when you go down you can wish for anythin you want

irish man- went down and wished to have a really fit girls be his girl friend and when he went down there were loads of women waiting for him

scots man- when goes down wished for a millions of pounds goes down the slide at end find millions of pounds in a bag at the bottom

english man- couldnt think of anything too which for so he shouted weeeeeeeeee half way shouted s h i t i forgot to late he had **** his bands and had a piss had the same time

[1_In_A_Million]

i've heard that one before but it was less disgusting

[Corkie]

im sorry i heared it form my bro and thats how he told me

[Siouxsie]

:elephant:

[Fangz]

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Olivia.
Olivia who?
Olivia, it's my house, now let me in!!

(It's easier to understand if you say it out loud.)

[Siouxsie]

:joker:

[Siouxsie]

why is your :dog:dog called camera

cos hes always snapping

[skelo4eva]

what does a blonde say when she walks into a bar??

ouch

[Siouxsie]

:thumbs::elephant:

[skelo4eva]

i know lots of blonde jokes

a smart blonde santa and a brunette jump of a building hu hits the ground first?

brunette becos santa and a smart blonde dont exist!!!

[Siouxsie]

why do they call money dough ????

[skelo4eva]

i heard that cant remember the answer though!!!!!

[Fangz]

Susan: Miss, miss! I REALLY need to go to the toilet, miss!

Teacher: Only if you recite the alphabet first!

Susan: Alright, miss. ABCDEFG, HIJKLMNO, QRSTUV, WXYZ.

Teacher: Hang on, where's the 'P'?

Susan: Running down me leg, miss.

[Siouxsie]

BECAUSE WE ALL KNEAD IT LOL HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH:spin::spin::spin:

[Siouxsie]

ya get me :thumbs:

[Fangz]

Lol, we get ya.:thumbs:

[skelo4eva]

ha

[Siouxsie]

wad a cash

[Siouxsie]

i wish lol

[skelo4eva]

lol imagine

[Fangz]

Originally posted by scooby
i wish lol
So do I!:bawling:

[Siouxsie]

wot would ya do ????????????

[Fangz]

Oh, god knows. More books and DVDS, new clothes, a nice long leather-jacket, some nice boots. Nothing spectacular.

[Siouxsie]

just booze:hugesmile:

[skelo4eva]

buy big brother haha or open my own playboy mansion

[Pipergun]

Ryt, here's a quick joke before I nip off to bed to prepare for a bike ride 2moz :spin2:. Plus I was up way too last last nite lol!! :spin: Ok, here goes!

A man is sitting in a cafe at the side of the road. He was welcomed in by one of the waitresses and has been studying the menu for a good few minutes now.

The man calls the waitress over to take his order. "I'll have a cup of tea and a quicky please!" The waitress looks stunned and stares at the customer in disbelief. "Sorry, what was that?" she asked. "Can I have a cup of tea and a quicky please," replies the man for the second time.

Unsuprisingly, the waitress slaps the man before running back behind the counter.

Just as the dejected and confused man is leaving the cafe, an occupant of the next table calls over to him "Excuse me sir, but I think it's pronounced 'Quiche'!"

Hope u can understand it all ryt lol! and soz its a bit long-winded. I'm off to get my beauty sleep! :sleep:

Tom. :xyxwave:

[skelo4eva]

hehe

[Corkie]

right this is not really a joke just something too think about

right a dog :dog: by its self as run away its about too cross the road but a car is comeing :nono: how does driver see him

hint:there is no street lamps the dogs is not waering a glow in the dark thing the driver doesnt havent car light on

so how does he see him