Embarrassing Stories

[Lee.]

COme on give us a laugh and brighten up this drab Autumn day..

What's your most embarrassing moment? :)

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

this just reminded me of thomas :bawling:

[Lee.]

this just reminded me of thomas :bawling:

Aw.. how so?

[Lee.]

Nobody going to 'fess up??

[Captain.Remy]

I've got a few, I'm quite a goofy person. You know, the type of guy who does typical embarrassing stuff, but not on his own.

-Hitting my ex girlfriend's brother in front of at least a hundred people thinking it was another guy she just met. I went to the toilets, when I got back, I saw her dancing with another guy, I started shouting then I hit him. That's how I learnt he actually was her brother. He and I are still friends even though I broke up with his sister.

-A friend of mine had a very horrible break up with his girlfriend. Before a party, a friend told me what happened and told me to shut up because the ex-girlfriend will be at this party too along with my friend, so no one will get upset.
GUESS WHO THE HELL OPENED HIS MOUTH ?? No one was talking (because we could all sense the atmosphere) then I said "Oh wow, I completely forgot you broke up like 2 days ago? How do you feel? It must be horrible. I remember my break up, that was nasty" I thought I was going to get hung.

-The usual pigeon **** on the shoulder. I was hanging out one night with my friends. I wore this awesome Calvin Klein black shirt my dad bought me. I met a nice girl I wanted to spend time with. Didn't a pigeon **** on my shoulder while I was talking to her?

[Lee.]

Lol! :laugh:

The bird **** one is always embarrassing isn't it??

[Captain.Remy]

Lol! :laugh:

The bird **** one is always embarrassing isn't it??

That was so embarrassing yet hilarious. The girl was like "omgz roflolz" :joker:

[Lee.]

That was so embarrassing yet hilarious. The girl was like "omgz roflolz" :joker:

I can't think of a bird ever ****ting on me..It did happen to my Grandma in the town centre when I was with her once.. I was at the age when everything on earth embarrasses you! :blush:

[Claymores]

Hey Lee - you're not allowed to ask such open questions without a self -disclosure first...........dish the dirt on yourself :hugesmile:

[Vicky.]

Hey Lee - you're not allowed to ask such open questions without a self -disclosure first...........dish the dirt on yourself :hugesmile:

Haha agreed :D

You know, normally loads of embarrassing things happen to me, but i can't for the life of me think of single incidents...I just know I'm a total idiot who bad things happen to :S

I will think, should have something by tonight :eek:

[Mystic Mock]

well i called christopher robin in winnie the pooh chris the bell.

[Twilight]

Ermm at a gig one time, i saw someone i knew, so i ran towards them and i fell on my face, i felt retarded.

[Lee.]

Hey Lee - you're not allowed to ask such open questions without a self -disclosure first...........dish the dirt on yourself :hugesmile:

Haha.. I actually can't think of anything. There's bound to be loads though! :laugh:

[Stacey.]

I do things all the time that are embarrassing. Probably even more so for the person I'm with.

I remember this once when I was getting off the bus I got caught onto something and everyone was waiting in a massive line just for me to undo it and walk forward.

Another time I pulled this girl's trousers down. Yeah I know it sounds dodgy but it was just for a joke yet I well got into trouble for it LOL. Think she was close to crying too though.

And I always fall up the stairs or trip over my own feet I know which sounds weird. Not really sure how it happens either D:

[Tom]

Friend of a friend was having sex in the disabled toilets in the Trafford Centre (classy), pulled the red cord and the OAP help brigade turned up and opened the door within a minute :laugh2:

[Vicky.]

And I always fall up the stairs or trip over my own feet I know which sounds weird. Not really sure how it happens either D:

I fall upstairs ALL the time. I did it at work once, but luckily noone noticed.

I have however, fell down a really high pair of stairs...you know the ones that go in a spiral? Well, it felt like i was falling for about 10 minutes, though it cant have actually been that long. When I stopped, I stood up and the whole bar started clapping :blush2:

[Stacey.]

Friend of a friend was having sex in the disabled toilets in the Trafford Centre (classy), pulled the red cord and the OAP help brigade turned up and opened the door within a minute :laugh2:

:joker:

[BBfan46]

I was playing hockey when I stood on my tracksuit bottoms and the entire right leg ripped off! :joker:

[Vicky.]

Friend of a friend was having sex in the disabled toilets in the Trafford Centre (classy), pulled the red cord and the OAP help brigade turned up and opened the door within a minute :laugh2:

Oh aye. The old friend of a friend story :p

[Lee.]

Friend of a friend was having sex in the disabled toilets in the Trafford Centre (classy), pulled the red cord and the OAP help brigade turned up and opened the door within a minute :laugh2:

You sure? :laugh:

[Tom]

Trafford Centre toilets are rank, train station ones after night out are more up my street :blush2:

[sooty]

I can't think of a bird ever ****ting on me..It did happen to my Grandma in the town centre when I was with her once.. I was at the age when everything on earth embarrasses you! :blush:

Yea once I was walking with my friend, pigeon did to me.
I bought a lottery ticket the week I thought I might be lucky, but numbers did not come.:bawling:

I have a quite few embarrassing moments but, happyland, you first!.:D

[Lee.]

Yea once I was walking with my friend, pigeon did to me.
I bought a lottery ticket the week I thought I might be lucky, but numbers did not come.:bawling:



I have a quite few embarrassing moments but, happyland, you first!.:D

Erm.. I'm going to work in a minute, so I promise I will have a think :D

[Mac Hiavellian]

Snowflake the albino gorilla threw its sh!t at me.
A monkey tried to piss on me.
A goose bit my fingers.
I almost died choking on a single Coco Pop. In fact I've probably had a near death experience with every food imaginable, A Muller yogurt just last week.
I've fallen over on ice, in paddling pools, ponds, down stairs.
Cricket ball to the testicles.
Football to the face.
Basketball broke my thumb the week before work experience.
I was at Giraffe and got too distracted watching Felicity Kendall on the table opposite so ended up eating my napkin.
I poured lots of sugar on my bacon butty thinking it was salt.
Vommed all over my mates in a cab.
When I worked at a shop I had to ask people if they wanted any 'Stocking fillers' but instead askled some woman if she wanted 'Focking stillers'.
Lots more... :(

[Mystic Mock]

I do things all the time that are embarrassing. Probably even more so for the person I'm with.

I remember this once when I was getting off the bus I got caught onto something and everyone was waiting in a massive line just for me to undo it and walk forward.

Another time I pulled this girl's trousers down. Yeah I know it sounds dodgy but it was just for a joke yet I well got into trouble for it LOL. Think she was close to crying too though.

And I always fall up the stairs or trip over my own feet I know which sounds weird. Not really sure how it happens either D:

i fell down the school stairs when i was going home from school the once.

[Claymores]

I have many too Vicks, but here is one which is preying on my mind because of upcoming trip.........

I'm going to Germany next week to stay with a couple who are getting married (invited to wedding, staying in their house all week as they are not going on honeymoon - spent all money on big wedding)

Last time I went to Germany was to see a male pal then go watch Bundesliga, staying at his house. At Edinburgh airport I had McDonalds. When I arrived in city, was met from the train by his partner and kids - her kids wanted to go to McDonalds. Out later that evening we had McDonalds.

1 McDonalds at best of times does funny stuff to my insides. 3 McDonalds + shedloads of dark German beer was not lying well. I was soooooooooo scared I'd poo on my mate's spare bed in sleep so went to toilet and literally peed out my bum for ages. Then sat there long enough I fell asleep on the the pan!

He had to work next day, so came in for morning ablutions hours later (so drunk I'd forgotten to lock the bathroom door) to find me snoring on toilet sat down.

B' stard took several digi photos before waking me up and threatening to send them to all the folks we know in 6 European countries!

Hope I don't do this on the wedding night!

[Vicky.]

Haha Ian :joker:

I would have died :eek:

[BBfan46]

Mine was **** compared to everyone elses, It's well annoying, Stuff like this happens to me all the time but as soon as you ask me I forget. Typical.

[Vicky.]

Actually, they are coming back to me slowly.

I was once kegged at school (for those who dont know...a 'funny' thing to do to others, pulling their trousers down) on the one day I had gone commando :laugh:

[Mystic Mock]

Actually, they are coming back to me slowly.

I was once kegged at school (for those who dont know...a 'funny' thing to do to others, pulling their trousers down) on the one day I had gone commando :laugh:

somebody kicked the toilet door down on me at school the once.

and somebody tried to strangle me aswell at school.

[Mac Hiavellian]

I have many too Vicks, but here is one which is preying on my mind because of upcoming trip.........

I'm going to Germany next week to stay with a couple who are getting married (invited to wedding, staying in their house all week as they are not going on honeymoon - spent all money on big wedding)

Last time I went to Germany was to see a male pal then go watch Bundesliga, staying at his house. At Edinburgh airport I had McDonalds. When I arrived in city, was met from the train by his partner and kids - her kids wanted to go to McDonalds. Out later that evening we had McDonalds.

1 McDonalds at best of times does funny stuff to my insides. 3 McDonalds + shedloads of dark German beer was not lying well. I was soooooooooo scared I'd poo on my mate's spare bed in sleep so went to toilet and literally peed out my bum for ages. Then sat there long enough I fell asleep on the the pan!

He had to work next day, so came in for morning ablutions hours later (so drunk I'd forgotten to lock the bathroom door) to find me snoring on toilet sat down.

B' stard took several digi photos before waking me up and threatening to send them to all the folks we know in 6 European countries!

Hope I don't do this on the wedding night!

You poor b@stard lol. There's always something dodgy about McDonalds. I took a bite out of a Chicken Legend and it sprayed me in the face somehow and I was drenched. My boss was sat next to me when it happened

Mine was **** compared to everyone elses, It's well annoying, Stuff like this happens to me all the time but as soon as you ask me I forget. Typical.

Oh your time will come lol. Clothes rippage is always a novelty ;)

[BBfan46]

I actually dropped my boxers in the changing room once.

[Stacey.]

somebody kicked the toilet door down on me at school the once.

and somebody tried to strangle me aswell at school.

lmfao I did that to someone!

I mean I pushed a door in on someone at the toilet, I don't strangle people.

[Mystic Mock]

lmfao I did that to someone!

I mean I pushed a door in on someone at the toilet, I don't strangle people.

well the both that done that to me got exspelled.

and somebody tried to cut my finger off with a pair of sissors in year 2.

[Claymores]

Haha Ian :joker:

I would have died :eek:

Think of the movie Trainspotting - at least I did it in the toilet!

[Mac Hiavellian]

well the both that done that to me got exspelled.

and somebody tried to cut my finger off with a pair of sissors in year 2.

Lol, primary school dramas always ended with scissor threats

[Vicky.]

I have never actually watched trainspotting.

I have also luckily never had a poo related incident. Though the rest make up for it :laugh:

[Stacey.]

well the both that done that to me got exspelled.

and somebody tried to cut my finger off with a pair of sissors in year 2.

D: That's a bit too far lol.

And lmao. Oh I also remember there was this kid who lives in America now, but he was like really geeky and everything and had no friends, I told him to cut his hair once and he did. There was this massive piece missing from the side of his head, and apparently he had this horrible stepmum. Was scared for ages she'd find out and come and hunt me down or something. She never did though :D It was in yr8 I think.

[Claymores]

Not even a thing yet but I'm panicking..........at this wedding next week I'm wearing a kilt. I'm totally rubbish at remembering how do do-up at the straps n buckles that hold the heavy thing in place. Nprnally @ Scottish weddings the guys help each other get dressed in wedding party for this. But I'll be alone and trying myself.

I was saying to Naimh, I can easily see mr kilt landing on my ankles when I'm dancing with bride's auntie!!!! Traditional Scottish - you know what that means......0

Naimh said "remember to post pics in MtM". I did answer that could be Meet the Member :hugesmile:

[Claymores]

I have never actually watched trainspotting.

I have also luckily never had a poo related incident. Though the rest make up for it :laugh:

In trainspotting the book and movie - Spud falls unconcious in his gf's bed at her parents' house. Wakes in morning to find he's crapped the bed, goes to take the sheets to washing machine to find the fanily sittlng have breakfast.

Her mum thinks it's just pee problem so pulls sheets from his arms and all of the family get covered in diahorrea splatters! Funny book and movie. Watch it sometime..

[BB_Eye]

It's threads like this that make me miss Thomas C. Even though his stories were blatantly made up, they were hilarious to read.

Anyway, this might be a good place to vent about my embarrassing weekend. I was getting ready to go home from Boro on sunday from a weekend out. We took a 20 minute walk to the train station in Redcar (a nearby town we were staying at) when I realised I forgot the power supply for my laptop. We rushed all the way back to the house and persuaded my mate's sister, who recently got her driving license, to drive us back to the station.

Lo and behold, we missed the train by a few seconds and so we persuaded her to give us a half hour drive into Middlesbrough for the first time in her life to catch the train we would have switched with from the station there. We made it on time, but I felt like an absolute twat for making her do it all the same, so I offered her £10 to make up for it in what now seems like an extremely vulgar gesture. She refused it and it's just as well.

When I got on the train, I realised I lost my open return ticket so was forced to pay for another single and I only had just enough money. It was at this moment I realised I am a walking calamity.

What else did I learn from this? Buy an iPod touch or smartphone and never take my laptop anywhere with me again. :bored:

[Tom]

Lol, primary school dramas always ended with scissor threats

I cut a massive chunk out of some girls hair when I was in reception. She stole my toy when I went off to do some reading :mad: needless to say I got excluded for a week and had to sit in the naughty corner for a while after that during play time

I still hate that bitch almost 20 years on

[Vicky.]

Enough of bringing things up from a while ago. Will only kick it all off again :bored:

Deleted some posts...again

[setanta]

I miss Thomas C's hilarity too.

My embarrassing moment came on my 21st birthday. We were in a nightclub and my friends were buying me shot after shot, making me lash them in, when all of a sudden I felt a stirring in my bowels and new something was up, or coming up. Anyway, I proceeded to sprint off in the direction of the toilets, only to get to the tiled hallway when I erupted, and to top it all off I slid and fell in my own puke. Now beat that!

[Tom]

I miss Thomas C's hilarity too.

My embarrassing moment came on my 21st birthday. We were in a nightclub and my friends were buying me shot after shot, making me lash them in, when all of a sudden I felt a stirring in my bowels and new something was up, or coming up. Anyway, I proceeded to sprint off in the direction of the toilets, only to get to the tiled hallway when I erupted, and to top it all off I slid and fell in my own puke. Now beat that!

Throwing up on a night out is always the worst. I threw my obligatory takeaway up over the counter after a heavy night out once :blush2: It was actually disgusting because it was like a fountain and like a browny red colour, not carrot and pea sick

I've not been back since!!

[Ramsay]

i took a **** on a dual carrage way

[setanta]

Throwing up on a night out is always the worst. I threw my obligatory takeaway up over the counter after a heavy night out once :blush2: It was actually disgusting because it was like a fountain and like a browny red colour, not carrot and pea sick

I've not been back since!!

It's the worst. At least yours was obviously at the end of the night though! I had to waddle out of the nightclub like an idiot. Cringe!

[Vicky.]

Right. Cleaned this thread AGAIN.

Try to keep on topic and refrain from attacking each other :D

[Mac Hiavellian]

I cut a massive chunk out of some girls hair when I was in reception. She stole my toy when I went off to do some reading :mad: needless to say I got excluded for a week and had to sit in the naughty corner for a while after that during play time

I still hate that bitch almost 20 years on

Lol. She had it coming. Two girls from my school still hate each other 10 years on after one of them cut the other's hand with scissors for no apparent reason and it got infected.

[Stephanie]

once when i was at school i was talking to two boys and one of them like disappeared but it turned out that he was like on the floor crouching behind me and then the other boy shoved me over him and it was so embarrassing and hurt a lot.

[Claymores]

Right. Cleaned this thread AGAIN.

Try to keep on topic and refrain from attacking each other :D

Gonna giggle if my kilt lands around ankles while dancing with the bride's old auttie the Vicks? Middle of germany !!!!!!!!

[Shasown]

When I discovered the joys of masturbation, I became seriously addicted, so much so that I developed tendonitis in first my right wrist, then as I started to increase the workload on my other arm my left wrist soon succumbed to it as well.

The pain was horrendous, but still I couldnt stop the self abuse. I knew I had very few options left to me so I tried dipping my hands in the deep fat fryer in order that I wouldnt be able to use my hands.

My parents took me to hospital where they treated the burns to my hands with some cream and wrapped my hands in plastic bags, however during the medical examination the doctor noticed the pain and swelling I had in my wrists and diagnosed tendonitis and carpal tunnel syndrome.

He prescribed a cocktail of several drugs to be taken 8 times daily to deal not only with the risk of infection, the pain but also the tendonitis and carpal Tunnel syndrome. He also put my hands in what could only be described as surgical wristlet braces which extended up to my elbow.


A couple of days later I was allowed to go to school. I was obviously asked what had happened even though I had a very convincing lie prepared in my head to deal with that eventuality.

Imagine my surprise when I discovered an unknown side effect of the cocktail of drugs I had to have every few hours. I could only tell the truth, I couldnt lie. So I blurted out what had caused the wrist problems and why I had inflicted the burns upon myself.





In memory of ThomasC. :wink:

[Lee.]

Snowflake the albino gorilla threw its sh!t at me.
A monkey tried to piss on me.
A goose bit my fingers.
I almost died choking on a single Coco Pop. In fact I've probably had a near death experience with every food imaginable, A Muller yogurt just last week.
I've fallen over on ice, in paddling pools, ponds, down stairs.
Cricket ball to the testicles.
Football to the face.
Basketball broke my thumb the week before work experience.
I was at Giraffe and got too distracted watching Felicity Kendall on the table opposite so ended up eating my napkin.
I poured lots of sugar on my bacon butty thinking it was salt.
Vommed all over my mates in a cab.
When I worked at a shop I had to ask people if they wanted any 'Stocking fillers' but instead askled some woman if she wanted 'Focking stillers'.
Lots more... :(

PMSL! That all made me laugh, give us your "lots more"

[Mac Hiavellian]

PMSL! That all made me laugh, give us your "lots more"

Lol, here's a few more of my misfortunes...

I slammed a toilet seat on my penis.
I was blindfolded, walked in to a tree and lost a tooth.
I got my head caught inbetween the steps of a children's slide.
Oh God, I fainted during an assmebly about testicular cancer because I hadn't slept or eaten and when I came round no one would look me in the eye and then everyone kept asking me if I had cancer.
I found a metal hoola hoop with a plastic coating and this girl wanted me to play ring toss with her but instead of warning her it was metal inside I just threw it at her face. The mark could still be seen under her make-up at our leaver's do the next week. :rolleyes:
I walked in to a parked car.
A waiter slipped on a bottle and spilt water all down my back.
I was talking to a mate in a crowded room about that Jackass episode about a town called 'Mianus'. We were sat by a computer and I declared loudly; "Look up Mianus!"
When I had an ingrowing toenail I'd always bump it in to things.
I was at a party when someone asked me "If you were held at gunpoint and you had to sleep with any boy or girl from Sixth Form, what would you say?" My response; "I'd say 'Just shoot me'."

That's all I can remember atm, but yeah, every day is a challenge.

[Lee.]

Lol, here's a few more of my misfortunes...

I slammed a toilet seat on my penis.
I was blindfolded, walked in to a tree and lost a tooth.
I got my head caught inbetween the steps of a children's slide.
Oh God, I fainted during an assmebly about testicular cancer because I hadn't slept or eaten and when I came round no one would look me in the eye and then everyone kept asking me if I had cancer.
I found a metal hoola hoop with a plastic coating and this girl wanted me to play ring toss with her but instead of warning her it was metal inside I just threw it at her face. The mark could still be seen under her make-up at our leaver's do the next week. :rolleyes:
I walked in to a parked car.
A waiter slipped on a bottle and spilt water all down my back.
I was talking to a mate in a crowded room about that Jackass episode about a town called 'Mianus'. We were sat by a computer and I declared loudly; "Look up Mianus!"
When I had an ingrowing toenail I'd always bump it in to things.
I was at a party when someone asked me "If you were held at gunpoint and you had to sleep with any boy or girl from Sixth Form, what would you say?" My response; "I'd say 'Just shoot me'."

That's all I can remember atm, but yeah, every day is a challenge.

PMSL!! :laugh:

There are so many of your stories I want to know more about!!

[Mystic Mock]

i said shag at my school the once,and i got into loads of trouble.:laugh:

[Tom]

I was at Morrisons earlier on and forgot where I parked my car. I saw an identical car parked kind of near where I remembered so I went over and I'm stood trying to unlock it assuming the remote locking decided to stop working again and the key still didn't work. So I hit the car and some woman walks over with a pay and display ticket and I just thought wtf, then she asked why I was trying to rob her car and then I suddenly realised ... mine was 2 bays away :blush2:

Doesn't give me much of an ego boost that I'm driving the same car as some woman whos about 40, although she was quite MILFish in fairness

[Lee.]

I was at Morrisons earlier on and forgot where I parked my car. I saw an identical car parked kind of near where I remembered so I went over and I'm stood trying to unlock it assuming the remote locking decided to stop working again and the key still didn't work. So I hit the car and some woman walks over with a pay and display ticket and I just thought wtf, then she asked why I was trying to rob her car and then I suddenly realised ... mine was 2 bays away :blush2:

Doesn't give me much of an ego boost that I'm driving the same car as some woman whos about 40, although she was quite MILFish in fairness

Haha.. how humiliating. Did she see the funny side? :laugh:

[LaLaLand]

I was talking to a friend I hadn't seen for a while in a car park in town for a bit when suddenly a bird SH!T on her face and in her mouth (like proper inside her lips on her teeth and everything, dark green it was). This caused me, who saw it in full view, suffering from a hefty hangover to vomit on her feet.

It was disgusting but actually hilarious when you think back!

[Lee.]

I was talking to a friend I hadn't seen for a while in a car park in town for a bit when suddenly a bird SH!T on her face and in her mouth (like proper inside her lips on her teeth and everything, dark green it was). This caused me, who saw it in full view, suffering from a hefty hangover to vomit on her feet.

It was disgusting but actually hilarious when you think back!

That just gave me the boak!!

[Tom]

Haha.. how humiliating. Did she see the funny side? :laugh:

Well when she was walking back over shouting I kind of realised (you'd have thought the pink fluffy dice and clean inside would have made the penny drop) and I just pointed to my car, she just laughed ...

[Lee.]

Well when she was walking back over shouting I kind of realised (you'd have thought the pink fluffy dice and clean inside would have made the penny drop) and I just pointed to my car, she just laughed ...

Haha.. just as well for you that she wasn't a grumpy old bat!

[Jessica.]

I was talking to a friend I hadn't seen for a while in a car park in town for a bit when suddenly a bird SH!T on her face and in her mouth (like proper inside her lips on her teeth and everything, dark green it was). This caused me, who saw it in full view, suffering from a hefty hangover to vomit on her feet.

It was disgusting but actually hilarious when you think back!

:joker::joker::joker:

[Josy]

i took a **** on a dual carrage way

I don't know why this thread is bumped but FFS Karl :joker::joker::joker:

[Benjamin]

:joker:

[Kyle]

I don't like to think about it but I find the fact that the very first Vagina I clapped my eyes on was my Mums pretty embarrassing.


To be fair though it wasn't my fault there wasn't exactly any other way of getting out....

[Kyle]

You know what else is embarrassing, I wanted to put it in this woman's ear once but she told me to stop. Dented my fragile ego it did.




















:spin: joking, sorry Vicky. :wavey:

[Kate!]

I don't know why this thread is bumped but FFS Karl :joker::joker::joker:

Karl.... You're so depraved :joker: