i'd never resort to asking advice on here, but...

[Chels]

I'm desperate tbh, really confused - I feel like a lowlife. Tried asking my mates but they really don't know what to do because its such a complicated situation. Right, thing is there's two lads, one I've known for like a year and the other only the past month or so. The lad I've knows for years is someone I'd regard as a close friend who told me he 'really liked' me ages ago and only since I went to Leeds away on Monday I actually realised how much I felt the same, it was such a cracking day and I really enjoyed his company. We stopped talking for a while a few months ago for some reason, then I met the other guy when we played Hull at home, just a Hull supporter me and my friend randomly started talking to. Then it was add on facebook, then texting etc and even recently he came all the way down from Yorkshire just to see me. What the actual **** do I do? I don't want to lose any of them :/

Before any muppet laughs at me, I really don't give a sh*t, I've never been so lost in my life. It could only happen to me, fair play! :(

[Jords]

Are you asking who you should go out with?

[Miss Ivy Balls]

This is a Thomas C Show issue.

Anyway, on to the matter.

Who would you rather go out with in your right mind?

If they're 'friends' then they'll stick by you regardless. You can't hold your love life on hold just because of someone who 'likes you', but you don't want to be with them.

It doesn't need any explaining.

Just decide who you want to go out with then engage them. No explaining needed to the other person as you'll just remain friends. If you lose friendship over it then they're not a friend in the first place.

[Chels]

Well no, cos I know who. Its just I'm going to lose the other (who I'm very close to as a friend, always there and everything) and I just don't know how to explain the situation to them.

Sorry for not making myself clear

[Legend killer]

May god be with you in your hour of need!!!

[Benjamin]

Eeeek, a split heart. Tough one.

It's hard to say too much without knowing you too well, but the best thing you can do is just try and work out who you prefer by yourself. You don't know for sure that if you pick one, you will lose the other, you may still remain friends.


I would say look at the logic/distance/frequency of seeing them, but when your heart comes into it, none of that makes a difference.

Maybe take a breather from both of them, and take some time by yourself to figure it out. If you want one as more than a friend, you will have to sacrifice the other and keep them as a friend.



If he's a good friend, he'll understand, he'll be hurt, but he'll get over it soon enough. :)

[Z]

Well I think you need to break it gently to the friend that he's in the friend zone in the kindest way you can; there's no real way round this other than to be cruel to be kind.

[Jack_]

Think I understand now. It's kinda difficult, but what you need to do is weigh up whether you'd rather be in a relationship with this guy or whether you'd rather keep your long-term friendship with this other guy. The guy you've known for longer of course will be upset, but that's not to say he won't want to be friends anymore [if I've understood this right, sorry if I haven't]. But like I said, it's a question of whether you'd rather have a relationship or a long-term friendship.

If you've already decided to go with the relationship, then, well...just tell him that you love him as a friend, but that's it. I don't think there's much else you can do, just try and break it as gently as possible. Then hope for the best, I guess.

Sorry to hear all of this anyway Chels, hope you're okay x :hug:

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

*puts specs on to look all sophisticated*

you love the one you have known for longer you just feel guilty because the other guy came all the way from yorkshire

[Shasown]

Its not a hard decision, neither is the right person for you.

You would know which one if either was right. But because neither is right you are to an extent looking to make the best of a bad choice.

Wait.

[MissKittyFantastico]

Which one do you actually get on better with and have the strongest attraction to? That's what you need to decide before anything else really. The distance thing would be a negative straight away for me, but it really all depends on who you see yourself with in a few months down the line.

Take the friendship side of things out of the equation for now and just follow your heart, you can deal with the other stuff later, and if you choose the Hull lad, and you break it to the 'friend' one gently, then I'm sure it will all work out okay. Just take your time to work out what you want.

Hope it all works out for you Chels x

[MTVN]

Well I think you need to break it gently to the friend that he's in the friend zone in the kindest way you can; there's no real way round this other than to be cruel to be kind.

Yeah, I would agree with this. There isnt really an easy way of solving the situation, you just have to let him know where you stand, as gently as possible and before you do anything with the other guy, and hope he understands. Hopefully, he'll come to understand in time and your friendship wont be too damaged.

Dunno if that helps at all, I'm not great at advice, but I hope it works out :)

[Novo]

I feel like a lowlife. :joker: :joker:

[Jords]

Well no, cos I know who. Its just I'm going to lose the other (who I'm very close to as a friend, always there and everything) and I just don't know how to explain the situation to them.

Sorry for not making myself clear

Thats alright dont worry about it (bad timing, but good to see ya back again, if planning on sticking about a bit more :)).

If you were asking who you should go out with, Id honestly say the long-term friend. I think a good relationship depends on knowing the person well, and you obviously do with him and you know exactly what he is like.

However you think you like the Yorkshire guy more, so you will have to let your friend down gently. If hes that good of a friend he will still be there for ya, if not youll need to give him some space, because his feelings wont turn off and he will still really like you so make sure you dont give him mixed messages where he thinks 'theres still a chance'.

Simonsays has a point though, make sure its not just guilt, and remember you wont get to see him all the time, unlike the long-term friend...

Hope it works out! x

[setanta]

Its not a hard decision, neither is the right person for you.

You would know which one if either was right. But because neither is right you are to an extent looking to make the best of a bad choice.

Wait.

Nice. No pussyfooting about here with the Trentmeister.

[Benjamin]

Its not a hard decision, neither is the right person for you.

You would know which one if either was right. But because neither is right you are to an extent looking to make the best of a bad choice.

Wait.


This.



Ignore my shoddy advice :)

[Mr XcX]

Sorry but we are not agony aunts!!!!!!

[30stone]

Pick me..

lol.

[Benjamin]

Sorry but we are not agony aunts!!!!!!

People are allowed to ask for help and advice

[MissKittyFantastico]

Pick me..

lol.

:laugh2:

[Mr XcX]

People are allowed to ask for help and advice

Fair point.

Don't ask me though.

I know nothing of the world because I cannot stand the people in it.

[Jack_]

Fair point.

Don't ask me though.

I know nothing of the world because I cannot stand the people in it.

...then if you're not going to give advice, why are you in this thread?

[Ninastar]

if they like you that much, shouldnt they understand? like, would the one who you havent chosen, want to be as close to you as possible, and its only going to be just friends, they be okay with it. you know?

[Zippy]

Sorry but we are not agony aunts!!!!!!

lmao

My advice is to listen to Shasown.

And Ben 30stone. He'll bring joy to your world.

[Novo]

if they like you that much, shouldnt they understand? like, would the one who you havent chosen, want to be as close to you as possible, and its only going to be just friends, they be okay with it. you know?


http://i38.tinypic.com/331zyu1.jpg

[Ninastar]

http://i38.tinypic.com/331zyu1.jpg

hand sex???

[Mr XcX]

lmao

My advice is to listen to Shasown.

And Ben 30stone. He'll bring joy to your world.

30stone and Shasown bring no joy to my world more like depression!!!!

Who is BEN!!

[Novo]

hand sex???

http://i13.tinypic.com/5zgzo9k.jpg

[Ninastar]

http://i13.tinypic.com/5zgzo9k.jpg

Asian peado smiley?

[Chels]

Cheers everyone, really appreciated.

Thinking about it, what simonsays said is probably true, even my mates said 'but he came all the way from Hull!'

In relation to what somebody said about it being neither of them, I don't think so if I'm honest. I really like the one and the other not so much as him. Although he's the best friend you could want.

Gonna kip on this methinks, thanks again x

[30stone]

30stone and Shasown bring no joy to my world more like depression!!!!

Who is BEN!!

Im Ben.


How do i bring depression?

[Mr XcX]

Im Ben.


How do i bring depression?

Just a joke. Ben

[Benjamin]

Im Ben.


How do i bring depression?

Anyone with a name like Ben is depressing :tongue:

[Mr XcX]

Anyone with a name like Ben is depressing :tongue:

Well, put it this way. I am not going to be cheered up by 2 forum members!!!

[30stone]

Anyone with a name like Ben is depressing :tongue:

Only Bens who like Turtle's :)


Us Bens who like Tortoises are cool.

[Benjamin]

Only Bens who like Turtle's :)


Us Bens who like Tortoises are cool.


You make me sick :nono:

[30stone]

Im not here to cheer people up, im here to tell you how great my life is, to make you feel worse!


lol only joking.
Life is great though..

[Benjamin]

Im not here to cheer people up, im here to tell you how great my life is, to make you feel worse!


lol only joking.
Life is great though..


:sleep:


Jokes

but really:sleep:

[Mr XcX]

Im not here to cheer people up, im here to tell you how great my life is, to make you feel worse!


lol only joking.
Life is great though..

Quite. :)

[30stone]

:)

Chels knows the right choice..

[Zippy]

:)

Chels knows the right choice..

She wouldnt ask here if it was about you.

Nice try though.

ps; I chose you as best mod so kindly make a note for when you might next consider infracting me. cheers

[Benjamin]

She wouldnt ask here if it was about you.

Nice try though.

ps; I chose you as best mod so kindly make a note for when you might next consider infracting me. cheers

Was there a vote on best mod?

[Zippy]

Was there a vote on best mod?

No, but maybe somebody should do a poll? :hugesmile:

I posted his name which is the same as a vote.

[Shasown]

30stone and Shasown bring no joy to my world more like depression!!!!

Who is BEN!!

Sorry to hear you have such a sad life, I have heard many a sorry tale, but I can honestly say I have never met anyone who carries the weight of the world like you do. Your story has truly touched my heart. Please accept this expression of my sincerest sympathies now ****** off and stop bothering us.

UK: 08457 90 90 90
ROI: 1850 60 90 90

[Locke.]

So one is a Cardiff fan and one is a Hull fan and they both go to the games?

You should wait until the end of the season and see which team comes higher in the league, be like the great John Locke and let fate decide.

Oh, and the Hull one will never last, too far away.

[Novo]

So one is a Cardiff fan and one is a Hull fan and they both go to the games?

You should wait until the end of the season and see which team comes higher in the league, be like the great John Locke and let fate decide.

Oh, and the Hull one will never last, too far away.

You have given her the most stupendous advice i have ever bloody scene let Super Novo take it from here

Football needs to be put to side for this serious matter, Locke has lost his mind or something he is acting like Smithy to much lately

These are the Main Points you need to think off

Who has the most money? Which one of these guys will be able to buy you anything you want and take you anywhere you want. you could be looking at a week in las vegas or a weekend in Devon.

Who will buy the best car when they are older? Would you rather be sitting in a Ford Fiesta or a lamborghini.

Who has the biggest house? Do you want to be sleeping inside a Shed or a Mansion.

Who is less likely to turn gay? You don't want a relationship where you boyfriend turns gay, go with the straightest one.

[Miss Ivy Balls]

Is someone else using Novo's account?

He seems very different lately. :s

[Locke.]

I think you're onto something Thomas

[Barbie]

The fact that you can't choose speaks volumes perhaps you like neither enough.

If it was me i'd go for the one that i liked the most, once i'd given the above statement consideration

[Jordan.]

Choose the one from Hull, I can go talk to him for you. :love:

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

novo has been sniffing poppers

[Stacey.]

It's quite sweet that someone from like Yorkshire/Hull came down to see you, but then you have to go for the one that you could see your relationship would last longer with and that you loved more. And the other one shouldn't mind if he's that much of a friend to you anyway :)

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

Cheers everyone, really appreciated.

Thinking about it, what simonsays said is probably true

*hair flip*