[Chels]

I'm desperate tbh, really confused - I feel like a lowlife. Tried asking my mates but they really don't know what to do because its such a complicated situation. Right, thing is there's two lads, one I've known for like a year and the other only the past month or so. The lad I've knows for years is someone I'd regard as a close friend who told me he 'really liked' me ages ago and only since I went to Leeds away on Monday I actually realised how much I felt the same, it was such a cracking day and I really enjoyed his company. We stopped talking for a while a few months ago for some reason, then I met the other guy when we played Hull at home, just a Hull supporter me and my friend randomly started talking to. Then it was add on facebook, then texting etc and even recently he came all the way down from Yorkshire just to see me. What the actual **** do I do? I don't want to lose any of them :/

Before any muppet laughs at me, I really don't give a sh*t, I've never been so lost in my life. It could only happen to me, fair play!

[Jords]

Are you asking who you should go out with?

[Miss Ivy Balls]

This is a Thomas C Show issue.

Anyway, on to the matter.

Who would you rather go out with in your right mind?

If they're 'friends' then they'll stick by you regardless. You can't hold your love life on hold just because of someone who 'likes you', but you don't want to be with them.

It doesn't need any explaining.

Just decide who you want to go out with then engage them. No explaining needed to the other person as you'll just remain friends. If you lose friendship over it then they're not a friend in the first place.

[Chels]

Well no, cos I know who. Its just I'm going to lose the other (who I'm very close to as a friend, always there and everything) and I just don't know how to explain the situation to them.

Sorry for not making myself clear

[Legend killer]

May god be with you in your hour of need!!!

[Benjamin]

Eeeek, a split heart. Tough one.

It's hard to say too much without knowing you too well, but the best thing you can do is just try and work out who you prefer by yourself. You don't know for sure that if you pick one, you will lose the other, you may still remain friends.


I would say look at the logic/distance/frequency of seeing them, but when your heart comes into it, none of that makes a difference.

Maybe take a breather from both of them, and take some time by yourself to figure it out. If you want one as more than a friend, you will have to sacrifice the other and keep them as a friend.



If he's a good friend, he'll understand, he'll be hurt, but he'll get over it soon enough.

[Z]

Well I think you need to break it gently to the friend that he's in the friend zone in the kindest way you can; there's no real way round this other than to be cruel to be kind.

[Jack_]

Think I understand now. It's kinda difficult, but what you need to do is weigh up whether you'd rather be in a relationship with this guy or whether you'd rather keep your long-term friendship with this other guy. The guy you've known for longer of course will be upset, but that's not to say he won't want to be friends anymore [if I've understood this right, sorry if I haven't]. But like I said, it's a question of whether you'd rather have a relationship or a long-term friendship.

If you've already decided to go with the relationship, then, well...just tell him that you love him as a friend, but that's it. I don't think there's much else you can do, just try and break it as gently as possible. Then hope for the best, I guess.

Sorry to hear all of this anyway Chels, hope you're okay x

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

*puts specs on to look all sophisticated*

you love the one you have known for longer you just feel guilty because the other guy came all the way from yorkshire

[Shasown]

Its not a hard decision, neither is the right person for you.

You would know which one if either was right. But because neither is right you are to an extent looking to make the best of a bad choice.

Wait.

[MissKittyFantastico]

Which one do you actually get on better with and have the strongest attraction to? That's what you need to decide before anything else really. The distance thing would be a negative straight away for me, but it really all depends on who you see yourself with in a few months down the line.

Take the friendship side of things out of the equation for now and just follow your heart, you can deal with the other stuff later, and if you choose the Hull lad, and you break it to the 'friend' one gently, then I'm sure it will all work out okay. Just take your time to work out what you want.

Hope it all works out for you Chels x

[MTVN]

Originally Posted by Zee

Well I think you need to break it gently to the friend that he's in the friend zone in the kindest way you can; there's no real way round this other than to be cruel to be kind.

Yeah, I would agree with this. There isnt really an easy way of solving the situation, you just have to let him know where you stand, as gently as possible and before you do anything with the other guy, and hope he understands. Hopefully, he'll come to understand in time and your friendship wont be too damaged.

Dunno if that helps at all, I'm not great at advice, but I hope it works out

[Novo]

I feel like a lowlife.

[Jords]

Originally Posted by Chels

Well no, cos I know who. Its just I'm going to lose the other (who I'm very close to as a friend, always there and everything) and I just don't know how to explain the situation to them.

Sorry for not making myself clear

Thats alright dont worry about it (bad timing, but good to see ya back again, if planning on sticking about a bit more ).

If you were asking who you should go out with, Id honestly say the long-term friend. I think a good relationship depends on knowing the person well, and you obviously do with him and you know exactly what he is like.

However you think you like the Yorkshire guy more, so you will have to let your friend down gently. If hes that good of a friend he will still be there for ya, if not youll need to give him some space, because his feelings wont turn off and he will still really like you so make sure you dont give him mixed messages where he thinks 'theres still a chance'.

Simonsays has a point though, make sure its not just guilt, and remember you wont get to see him all the time, unlike the long-term friend...

Hope it works out! x

[setanta]

Originally Posted by Shasown

Its not a hard decision, neither is the right person for you.

You would know which one if either was right. But because neither is right you are to an extent looking to make the best of a bad choice.

Wait.

Nice. No pussyfooting about here with the Trentmeister.

[Benjamin]

Originally Posted by Shasown

Its not a hard decision, neither is the right person for you.

You would know which one if either was right. But because neither is right you are to an extent looking to make the best of a bad choice.

Wait.

This.



Ignore my shoddy advice

[Mr XcX]

Sorry but we are not agony aunts!!!!!!

[30stone]

Pick me..

lol.

[Benjamin]

Originally Posted by Mr XcX

Sorry but we are not agony aunts!!!!!!

People are allowed to ask for help and advice

[MissKittyFantastico]

Originally Posted by 30stone

Pick me..

lol.

[Mr XcX]

Originally Posted by ukturtle

People are allowed to ask for help and advice

Fair point.

Don't ask me though.

I know nothing of the world because I cannot stand the people in it.

[Jack_]

Originally Posted by Mr XcX

Fair point.

Don't ask me though.

I know nothing of the world because I cannot stand the people in it.

...then if you're not going to give advice, why are you in this thread?

[Ninastar]

if they like you that much, shouldnt they understand? like, would the one who you havent chosen, want to be as close to you as possible, and its only going to be just friends, they be okay with it. you know?

[Zippy]

Originally Posted by Mr XcX

Sorry but we are not agony aunts!!!!!!

lmao

My advice is to listen to Shasown.

And Ben 30stone. He'll bring joy to your world.

[Novo]

Originally Posted by Ninastar

if they like you that much, shouldnt they understand? like, would the one who you havent chosen, want to be as close to you as possible, and its only going to be just friends, they be okay with it. you know?