Emotional connections to housemates [Archive] - ThisisBigBrother.com

Suze

11-10-2011, 11:23 AM

so how do you see your housemates then? It's normal for people to have some emotional connection to them otherwise there wouldn't be much point in my view

I don't agree, it's just a game show, and although feeling sorry for some of them and hoping they can go far in the game might be normal, getting far too attached to housemates who once out that house will probably in all honesty apart from a few, not give their fans a second thought unless it is of some benefit to their ego's is not worth it. If we can step back and just view it as a game and accept for the most part, who wins and who gets evicted, it is is better for us probably. BB is mostly in control now, not us, as some of us have already debated in posts.

Pyramid*

11-10-2011, 11:25 AM

so how do you see your housemates then? It's normal for people to have some emotional connection to them otherwise there wouldn't be much point in my view

I disagree that it's normal to have an emotional connection to the housemates.

Why on earth would anyone have an emotional connection to someone they only see through a tv screen, in highlighly manipulated edits? :conf:

Chuck

11-10-2011, 11:29 AM

I disagree that it's normal to have an emotional connection to the housemates.

I agree with you, it might be common for many people but I don't see the point in it at all.

Niamh.

11-10-2011, 11:30 AM

I disagree that it's normal to have an emotional connection to the housemates.

Why on earth would anyone have an emotional connection to someone they only see through a tv screen, in highlighly manipulated edits? :conf:

I see what she's saying, the HMs do spark emotions in us, look how we defend or ridicule our Favourites/least favourites on here. I don't think it's a deep emotional attachment to them personally but emotions are certainly involved

Pyramid*

11-10-2011, 11:39 AM

I see what she's saying, the HMs do spark emotions in us, look how we defend or ridicule our Favourites/least favourites on here. I don't think it's a deep emotional attachment to them personally but emotions are certainly involved

I don't have any emotional connection, honestly. I may like or dislike their behaviour - but there is no emotional connection for the housemate as a person. That's the angle I'm coming from.

Clearly they illicit a reaction from me based on their behaviour - but to me, I could never regard that as me having an emotional connection to the housemate/s.

Niamh.

11-10-2011, 11:47 AM

I don't have any emotional connection, honestly. I may like or dislike their behaviour - but there is no emotional connection for the housemate as a person. That's the angle I'm coming from.

Clearly they illicit a reaction from me based on their behaviour - but to me, I could never regard that as me having an emotional connection to the housemate/s.

I do, like I said It's not a strong connection and it's one that disappears as soon as BB ends but I'll hold my hands up and say that occasionally ( :laugh: ) I may let bad behaviour of my favourite HM slide, when I'd be all over it if it were a HM I didn't like. If there wasn't some sort of emotional connection towards your favourite HM then your favourite HM would be constantly changing..........in my opinion of course .

Pyramid*

11-10-2011, 11:53 AM

I do, like I said It's not a strong connection and it's one that disappears as soon as BB ends but I'll hold my hands up and say that occasionally ( :laugh: ) I may let bad behaviour of my favourite HM slide, when I'd be all over it if it were a HM I didn't like. If there wasn't some sort of emotional connection towards your favourite HM then your favourite HM would be constantly changing..........in my opinion of course .

Oh I completely understand where you are coming from. Just for me personally, there is a difference between emotional reaction based on someone's behaviour and emotional connection to a housemate.

I personally think they are two very different things.

vesavius

11-10-2011, 11:57 AM

I do, like I said It's not a strong connection and it's one that disappears as soon as BB ends but I'll hold my hands up and say that occasionally ( :laugh: ) I may let bad behaviour of my favourite HM slide, when I'd be all over it if it were a HM I didn't like. If there wasn't some sort of emotional connection towards your favourite HM then your favourite HM would be constantly changing..........in my opinion of course .

lol I'm exactly the same Niamh, I relate 100%

If I didn't care a little bit about my fave I wouldnt have any kind of investment in the show and it would be interesting at all to me.. It's not like BB is an intellectual excercise eh? :joker:

But when the series is done, or they leave that house for any reason, I am done with them and have no further interest in their further lives or careers.

Gillian-73

11-10-2011, 11:59 AM

Niamh.

11-10-2011, 12:00 PM

Oh I completely understand where you are coming from. Just for me personally, there is a difference between emotional reaction based on someone's behaviour and emotional connection to a housemate.

I personally think they are two very different things.

Yeah, but are you really telling me that you've never made excuses for a favourite HM when if your least favourite did the same you'd be all over it? That's not based on behaviour but on how much you like the particular HM. Granted you probably started liking the HM in the first place because of how they behaved but I think once you like them, then unless they do something completely horrendous you'll stick by them and make excuses for them.

*and by "you" I mean a general you not you personally!!

Niamh.

11-10-2011, 12:02 PM

lol I'm exactly the same Niamh, I relate 100%

If I didn't care a little bit about my fave I wouldnt have any kind of investment in the show and it would be interesting at all to me.. It's not like BB is an intellectual excercise eh? :joker:

But when the series is done, or they leave that house for any reason, I am done with them and have no further interest in their further lives or careers.

lol, yeah, except for Brian Dowling, I really wanted to see him back on my TV after BB2 and again UBB. Just because he really made me laugh :love:

Gillian-73

11-10-2011, 12:02 PM

Pyramid*

11-10-2011, 12:05 PM

Yeah, but are you really telling me that you've never made excuses for a favourite HM when if your least favourite did the same you'd be all over it? That's not based on behaviour but on how much you like the particular HM. Granted you probably started liking the HM in the first place because of how they behaved but I think once you like them, then unless they do something completely horrendous you'll stick by them and make excuses for them.

*and by "you" I mean a general you not you personally!!

Of course I have, but that doesn't mean I have an emotional connection with that particular housemate.

For example: I cannot stand Katie Price due to her behaviour, though I admire her guts - but I have no emotional connection with her.

I simply see emotional connection to a person that I have never met, see only through a tv screen - impossible - particularly when we know it's highly manipulated. Same as hating someone via a tv screen - how can you hate a person you've never met.

Niamh.

11-10-2011, 12:33 PM

Of course I have, but that doesn't mean I have an emotional connection with that particular housemate.

For example: I cannot stand Katie Price due to her behaviour, though I admire her guts - but I have no emotional connection with her.

I simply see emotional connection to a person that I have never met, see only through a tv screen - impossible - particularly when we know it's highly manipulated. Same as hating someone via a tv screen - how can you hate a person you've never met.

Well, I suppose we just have different interpretations of what is meant by "emotional connections" then cos it seems we agree with each others points :joker:

Pyramid*

11-10-2011, 12:34 PM

Well, I suppose we just have different interpretations of what is meant by "emotional connections" then cos it seems we agree with each others points :joker:

we may agree in some degree, but for very different reasons. :)

fruit_cake

11-10-2011, 12:55 PM

when I said emotional connection, I purposely said it was normal to have SOME emotional connection I wish people would read what I wrote before telling me how wrong I am for something I never said in the first place.

"Some emotional connection" doesn't mean you are falling over yourself because of some weird stalker like connection as I believe some have interpreted what I said. I meant it to mean more like the posters Vesuvius and Niamh have outlined below,

If I didn't care a little bit about my fave I wouldnt have any kind of investment in the show and it would be interesting at all to me.. It's not like BB is an intellectual excercise eh?

But when the series is done, or they leave that house for any reason, I am done with them and have no further interest in their further lives or careers.

fruit_cake

11-10-2011, 12:58 PM

I cannot stand Katie Price due to her behaviour, though I admire her guts - but I have no emotional connection with her.

this is a contradiction in terms from my perspective. If you cannot stand someone, or you admire them, you have an emotional connection. I don't think that's a unreasonable thing to say.

Pyramid*

11-10-2011, 12:59 PM

when I said emotional connection, I purposely said it was normal to have SOME emotional connection I wish people would read what I wrote before telling me how wrong I am for something I never said in the first place.

"Some emotional connection" doesn't mean you are falling over yourself because of some weird stalker like connection as I believe some have interpreted what I said. I meant it to mean more like the posters Vesuvius and Niamh have outlined below,

No one said you were wrong. People disagreed with you fruit_cake, that's all.

That's not very nice nice James, Lee is a very nice person :nono:

Ahhhh..... on the ball !!

:D

Pyramid*

11-10-2011, 12:59 PM

this is a contradiction in terms from my perspective. If you cannot stand someone, or you admire them, you have an emotional connection. I don't think that's a unreasonable thing to say.

I don't agree however for all the reasons I've previously mentioned.

Niamh.

11-10-2011, 12:59 PM

this is a contradiction in terms from my perspective. If you cannot stand someone, or you admire them, you have an emotional connection. I don't think that's a unreasonable thing to say.

Yeah, this is the way I'd see it as well, not a very deep one you might have to people you actually know personally but still some sort of emotional connection

fruit_cake

11-10-2011, 01:04 PM

I like the idea of having some emotional connection to my favourites, it nice to partly 'live' the experience a bit more and as it's all a bit of fun I don't see any harm in it really:lovedup:

fruit_cake

11-10-2011, 01:13 PM

housemates that stir up feelings inside you.. be them good or bad, might be a way of describing it.

Jordan.

11-10-2011, 01:17 PM

-looks at Thomas-

tweetypiebabe1

11-10-2011, 01:19 PM

Niamh.

11-10-2011, 01:22 PM

I can't believe I'm saying this but I agree with Pyramid. I don't understand how some people go bat s*** crazy over housemates or actors and such.

I suppose it would be a different story if we had the live feed and saw things uninterrupted but especially since it's a one hour edited show it's hard to put things in their proper perspective and gain an emotional connection. Also, another thing that would help an emotional connection would be a sobby back story, but I don't think anyone has one really.

I don't know. Personally, I just don't get that invested in housemates.

I'm talking about HMs in general, over all the years of big brother, not just this year. And I'm not talking about going bat sh** crazy over anyone either! :laugh:

Pyramid*

11-10-2011, 01:23 PM

I can't believe I'm saying this but I agree with Pyramid. I don't understand how some people go bat s*** crazy over housemates or actors and such.

I suppose it would be a different story if we had the live feed and saw things uninterrupted but especially since it's a one hour edited show it's hard to put things in their proper perspective and gain an emotional connection. Also, another thing that would help an emotional connection would be a sobby back story, but I don't think anyone has one really.

I don't know. Personally, I just don't get that invested in housemates.

Neither do I, don't understand it all at.

There's an element of fun, and mocking as in anything such as BB which is all pantomime at the end of the day - but nope, I don't have emotional investment, attachment, or real connections with people I see on a tv screen.

fruit_cake

11-10-2011, 01:25 PM

the word 'emotion' doesn't mean 'crazed stalker' :nono:

Pyramid*

11-10-2011, 01:26 PM

the word 'emotion' doesn't mean 'crazed stalker' :nono:

Who said it did?

Niamh.

11-10-2011, 01:31 PM

I genuinely think, that we all actually agree here but have different ideas what emotional connection means.

fruit_cake

11-10-2011, 01:33 PM

I genuinely think, that we all actually agree here but have different ideas what emotional connection means.

so far we've seen several people tell us how they have no emotional connection but invariably the same people have not bothered to enlighten us as to what it means to them though.

tweetypiebabe1

11-10-2011, 01:34 PM

I'm talking about HMs in general, over all the years of big brother, not just this year. And I'm not talking about going bat sh** crazy over anyone either! :laugh:

In all honesty, I'm trying to remember but I don't think I've had an emotional connection to anyone in the past really. I started watching full seasons from BB9, and saw bits of BB8 & 7 but no can't think of anything. Then again, as far as I know, I started watching during the s*** years didn't I? lol!

joeysteele

11-10-2011, 01:35 PM

Well as in any game,sport or event, you usually take a side or sides.
I am likely to then really support the side/s I choose very strongly particularly against unfair play or criticism.

With BB in the past although,I chose more often not to than do so,we had near 24 hour coverage, when you are able to watch people for possibly that long, you will form some emotional connection,whether that's just liking, wanting to learn more and more or really disliking them, they are al interest and emotions.

By the time you are at the end of the series,it is possible you have watched and heard them for longer than you have friends or even some family in that time the series is on.
Sort of like working with someone for a few months then seeing them go,you still form some connection despite hardly really knowing them.

This series is causing more anger because its fan base is iritated at the very least not to have live feed,we are being shown lots of things totally seen and heard but often not of full context.
That makes it harder to know really the facts. I get worked up and did so very strongly during CBB too, what is annoying me in this series is that I may be misjudging housemates as I feel I have as to Faye now due to the tiny amount of footage we are being shown.

The fact I feel that I have misjudged her,is though another emotion so I guess I would have to say I do form emotional connections to housemates.
That won't influence my everyday life or what I do in the future but as with any situation that has me at least taking a side or sides then for a while my emotions may run very high indeed as to them sometimes.

The great thing about human beings is we are all different and can be very complex too.
It's also like on here, we may never meet the people on here we are communicating with daily with only the written word but we do feel the need at times to support some over others and get involved in heated debates too,again in this environment we are showing emotional connection.

I am very happy to say, that a good few people on here, I would miss massively and have done,if they weren't on here or I didn't communicate with or see posting.I may never meet them and therefore never even see or hear them but they matter in some way,there again is a sort of emotional connection too.

Niamh.

11-10-2011, 01:38 PM

In all honesty, I'm trying to remember but I don't think I've had an emotional connection to anyone in the past really. I started watching full seasons from BB9, and saw bits of BB8 & 7 but no can't think of anything. Then again, as far as I know, I started watching during the s*** years didn't I? lol!

haha yeah you really did!! You need to go watch some of the earlier ones, I recommend BB2, BB3, BB5 & BB6

Chuck

11-10-2011, 01:38 PM

Pyramid*

11-10-2011, 01:39 PM

so far we've seen several people tell us how they have no emotional connection but invariably the same people have not bothered to enlighten us as to what it means to them though.

I think you should start reading posts a little more closely fruitcake - there are plenty of reasons being given. It seems you are chosing very deliberately to simply not accept that the 'same people' simply are not agreeing with you.

Pyramid*

11-10-2011, 01:40 PM

The only reason I often love watching vile housemates is because I'm able to be disconnected emotionally to them.

I'm aware that I wouldn't like living with them, that their actions are disgraceful and disgusting but if I'm entertained by them, then I don't care.

Fab way of putting it over. We can be entertained - and chose whether to like or dislike due to the entertainmant factor (or not), without becoming emotionally connected.

fruit_cake

11-10-2011, 01:41 PM

I think you should start reading posts a little more closely fruitcake - there are plenty of reasons being given. It seems you are chosing very deliberately to simply not accept that the 'same people' simply are not agreeing with you.

well each to their own. I'm quite happy in my little world of emotions anyway :lovedup:

Niamh.

11-10-2011, 01:43 PM

Fab way of putting it over. We can be entertained - and chose whether to like or dislike due to the entertainmant factor (or not), without becoming emotionally connected.

Yes but if you watch and like a HM enough defend them regardless and dislike HMs enough for them to make you feel angry or disgusted or whatever, then that's an emotional connection of sorts imo. It's the same as what you said but you don't consider that being an emotional connection but some people do.

Black Dagger

11-10-2011, 01:44 PM

I do get attached to my favourite housemates and try and follow them after the show...

I still regularly talk to Rachel on Facebook

And tweet Ben every other day.

Normal behaviour?

fruit_cake

11-10-2011, 01:45 PM

seems to me that some people consider themselves above emotions, but I personally think that is there own loss, but c'est la vie.

you can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink

Chuck

11-10-2011, 01:48 PM

seems to me that some people consider themselves above emotions, but I personally think that is there own loss, but c'est la vie.

you can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink

No post I've read on this thread suggests that.

Pyramid*

11-10-2011, 01:50 PM

Yes but if you watch and like a HM enough defend them regardless and dislike HMs enough for them to make you feel angry or disgusted or whatever, then that's an emotional connection of sorts imo. It's the same as what you said but you don't consider that being an emotional connection but some people do.

Nope, I regard that as an emotional reaction - not a connection. I regard a reaction wholly diffferent from a connection.

I react if I am alone in the house and suddenly the door slams shut. That doesn't mean I have a connection with the door. I reacted to what happened, but not to the door - no connection: emotional or otherwise. An emotional reaction yes, but connection? No.

seems to me that some people consider themselves above emotions, but I personally think that is there own loss, but c'est la vie.

you can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink

I'm unclear where you get the idea that some people consider themselves 'above emotions' (whatever that's meant to mean?)

You are correct abot leading horses to water.... You can't force someone to have the same opinion or views that you have. It would be a boring place if we all thought the same.

Niamh.

11-10-2011, 01:57 PM

Nope, I regard that as an emotional reaction - not a connection. I regard a reaction wholly diffferent from a connection.

I react if I am alone in the house and suddenly the door slams shut. That doesn't mean I have a connection with the door. I reacted to what happened, but not to the door - no connection: emotional or otherwise. An emotional reaction yes, but connection? No.

I take your point but the difference is you don't make excuses for the door and defend the door for giving you the fright because it's just a door and you don't have any connection with it (*thinks this is the strangest sentence I've ever written*) where as you forgive and defend HMs because you've grown to like them over their time in the house and even though they may behave badly sometimes you make excuses for them because of the emotional connection you have with them

Pyramid*

11-10-2011, 02:01 PM

I take your point but the difference is you don't make excuses for the door and defend the door for giving you the fright because it's just a door and you don't have any connection with it (*thinks this is the strangest sentence I've ever written*) where as you forgive and defend HMs because you've grown to like them over their time in the house and even though they may behave badly sometimes you make excuses for them because of the emotional connection you have with them

Not so. (laughs at the door sentence though...).

I like Aaron but I find that his way of dealing with things to be as poor as Faye and both of their actions in the same light (ie: the crying as a good example) - yet I like Aaron, and disike Faye but am able to reach the same conclusion - because I have no emotional connection.

If I had, I would not be able to have that same opinion on the same acts carried out by two housemates for whom I have differing regard to.

Niamh.

11-10-2011, 02:04 PM

Not so. (laughs at the door sentence though...).

I like Aaron but I find that his way of dealing with things to be as poor as Faye and both of their actions in the same light (ie: the crying as a good example) - yet I like Aaron, and disike Faye but am able to reach the same conclusion - because I have no emotional connection.

If I had, I would not be able to have that same opinion on the same acts carried out by two housemates for whom I have differing regard to.

lol, again it's how you look at and interpret it, for me I would say that seeing the same behaviour from two HMs but liking one and not the other is because of the emotional attachment you have to the HMs, If you had none then surely you would not like one more than the other?

fruit_cake

11-10-2011, 02:05 PM

Arron seems to be quite an emotional person to me

Niamh.

11-10-2011, 02:07 PM

Arron seems to be quite an emotional person to me

Very, as does Faye, not sure if that's a good or a bad thing though!

Pyramid*

11-10-2011, 02:09 PM

lol, again it's how you look at and interpret it, for me I would say that seeing the same behaviour from two HMs but liking one and not the other is because of the emotional attachment you have to the HMs, If you had none then surely you would not like one more than the other?

Nope, you aren't getting where I am coming from on this at all. Let's try explain it this way!

If I was emotionally connected to either Faye (dislike) or Aaron (like) - I'd be compassionate towards Aaron crying because I'd be willing to overlook that in him, and conversely, I would say that Faye needed to get a grip and not show compassion because I don't like her.

As it is: as far as Aaron crying so much: I have the same opinion as I do when Faye does it also. You see?

Niamh.

11-10-2011, 02:20 PM

Nope, you aren't getting where I am coming from on this at all. Let's try explain it this way!

If I was emotionally connected to either Faye (dislike) or Aaron (like) - I'd be compassionate towards Aaron crying because I'd be willing to overlook that in him, and conversely, I would say that Faye needed to get a grip and not show compassion because I don't like her.

As it is: as far as Aaron crying so much: I have the same opinion as I do when Faye does it also. You see?

I do see what your saying but (there's always a but!) If I saw a friend of mine crying over something stupid or acting like an idiot I would pull them up on it, as I would anyone else who wasn't my friend but I would carry on liking my friend cos I have an emotional connection to them where as I might dislike another person because of it.

Pyramid*

11-10-2011, 02:23 PM

I do see what your saying but (there's always a but!) If I saw a friend of mine crying over something stupid or acting like an idiot I would pull them up on it, as I would anyone else who wasn't my friend but I would carry on liking my friend cos I have an emotional connection to them where as I might dislike another person because of it.

Because they are your friend - in real life - so of course, you have an emotional connection to a personal that you know (whether you regard them as friend of foe).

that's the whole point - Housemates aren't people we know in real life - hence no emotional connection.

Niamh.

11-10-2011, 02:29 PM

Because they are your friend - in real life - so of course, you have an emotional connection to a personal that you know (whether you regard them as friend of foe).

that's the whole point - Housemates aren't people we know in real life - hence no emotional connection.

I'm not saying they are, I'm just trying to show - using the example of real life friends- my take on the scenario you gave in your previous post

Pyramid*

11-10-2011, 02:30 PM

I'm not saying they are, I'm just trying to show - using the example of real life friends- my take on the scenario you gave in your previous post

I'm still seeing it in an entirely different way from you. This is one that we are going to have to agree to disagree on.

We have very different perceptions on this one. It happens! :)

Niamh.

11-10-2011, 02:31 PM

I'm still seeing it in an entirely different way from you. This is one that we are going to have to agree to disagree on.

We have very different perceptions on this one. It happens! :)

Indeed :laugh:

fruit_cake

11-10-2011, 02:33 PM

Locke.

11-10-2011, 02:33 PM

Don't have any. Usually just support the housemates I like the most as people

Pyramid*

11-10-2011, 02:37 PM

when I read what you say about emotions Pyramid I understand what you say but I see your actions representing something else, I'm not attacking you at all, just saying how I see it, what do you think about that??

I think it's about time you stopped playing coy, stopped trying to antagonise, and stopped trying to turn your threads into discussing me - and start sticking to the subject matter which is emotional connections to housemates. That's what I think.