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Ithinkiloveyoutoo
07-11-2012, 07:14 PM
(Could be anyone)

Girl meets boy in a movie like way, where they meet when they were both late for an interview. Boy catches her eye for a split second as she walks towards the building where the interview is, and he’s walking in that same direction too but from the opposite way. In that split second girl thinks “wow, he’s got a unique style” then thinks nothing more of it. Girl walks in building first, eyes look around for reception then seconds later a voice says “are you here for the [---] interview too?”. Since there’s literally nobody else in that section, girl knows the voice could have only been talking to her. Girl turns around, and it’s the guy that caught her eyes seconds earlier, with a wry smile and grabbing eye contact. Girl replies with a smile of her own and instantly she feels comfortable talking to guy and he the same as if they’ve known each other for years. Instant connection. From then on girl and guy stick together like glue and click as they looked for interview room.(took a while as they were both late and “helpers” were sending them left right and centre). Once found, guy went for interview first then it was the girls turn and he cheered her on as she went to hers. Fast forward they took the train together, and clicked even more. Guy asked for number just before he was due to get off the train. Girl was happy to give. Then they hugged. Again it was like those hugs in the movies. He let go with a sigh and flicker of the eyelashes and girl felt weakened and couldn’t help staring at him after the hug.
Later in the day girl is first to text but keeps it friendly, saying she hopes he was successful and that he keeps her updated. He replied and things progressed from there. He asked for email or pin so they could chat further. She gave him her pin. They began chatting, like friends, people that had things in common. Out of nowhere as the weeks got on things naturally started to become flirty, and girl no matter how much she was surprised by this enjoyed it, but didn’t take it seriously as she was not looking to go down that road with anyone. He asked her many times why it seemed she was afraid to get close to people, he could feel it, but he didn’t want to pressure her into anything, they were friends. Months later, girl finds out boy has a long term girlfriend. Girl feels a little tinge of jealousy but not enough to bring her into depression as she played her cards safely and didn’t let herself get close enough to get hurt. Fast forward a year, girl and guy hadn’t met against since the interview but had been chatting everyday since and despite revelations of a girlfriend back then, boy had carried on inciting flirty chats and girl although reluctant most times, reminding him each time he had a girlfriend and he told her to forget about his girlfriend and just feel, let herself get caught up in it and eventually fell for guy. The chats were like a relationship in the sense that they both said things that hurt each other, made each other jealous, and made each other feel better. Girl began feel very dependant on chatting to him, missing him when they were not chatting. Not chatting for a day raised all kinds of worries for both. Even in all this for some reason it didn’t feel like cheating because 1-they hadn’t actually met to cheat and 2-there was an unspoken truth that above all they were friends anyway and it was doubtful anything real could ever happen between them even though both had admitted fantasizing about that scenario. Months later, girl seems to fall for guy more as guy’s flirtiness, and interest in any kind of chats begin to fade. Girl begins to feel insecure and becomes all guys definition of “crazy” by messaging him and asking if anything is wrong. What has changed? But he replies coolly and acts like nothing has changed. Months go on, they still chat but not as much or as desperately as before, and the girl still upset about this fact still constantly looks for him to explain what has changed. She feels him slipping away and girl wants to know why. All reasons go through her mind. As he finally realized with his girlfriend is where he belongs and he’s being foolish? Was he just pretending to care about me…for a year? (champion surely) Has he met someone new to play with? Months later guy seems even further away, girl seems to have fallen really hard, cries over him in a way she curses and hates herself for, and still asking him what has changed or when he stopped being interested in her? Guy continues giving distant or cold replies. Finally after a few months of this tiring pattern girl breaks down for real telling him that she thinks she actually loves him because she’s constantly thinking about him. He tells her to stop it. He acts like she’s diseased for having feelings, and he doesn’t understand where they stem from. He claims he doesn’t remember anything he ever said to her and that she is even making up saying he said he ever cared about her. Girl is shocked and disappointed that guy is now treating her like an annoying school girl with a crush when he had spent a year pressing her to show some feelings for him. And now he adds things like “I told you I had a girlfriend” when she expresses feelings. Girl is shocked he’s acting like a man with amnesia, thinking (YES YOU PRICK AND I REMINDED YOU OF THAT ALL THOSE TIMES YOU SAID YOU HAD FEELINGS FOR ME). She doesn’t understand him, but because again, that underlying truth that afterall they were always just friends first, she doesn’t overpush her feelings on him and forgives him for acting like he is. They try to chat as friends and he emphasizes the word “friend” a lot more now, girl breaks down more regularly and jokingly expresses how she feels for him a lot more and wishes to talk to him the same amount they did when they first started talking and he sees it as nagging. He blocks her and only sees it suitable to talk to her through skype where they can both only log on for a certain amount of time. Girl breaks down again there, then finally one day he says," look I didn’t mean anything I was saying (over the year), I was immature. "And he warns her that she needs to be careful because many good looking guys could come up to her and claim they have feelings for her and think that she is f-ed up because she believes them. Girl was shocked and couldn’t believe this was the same guy that she used to chat to for hours and that used to desperately beg her to express some feelings for her and then actually succeeded in making her feel a way she had never before. Girl accepted that response and retaliated it with “well I’m flattered you spent a year on me. Most guys spent just weeks f8cking with a girls head” he replied with “I wasn’t f8cking with your head everyone does it” girl “thought you cared about me a bit more not to do what everyone does” guy “I do care what the hell is wrong with you” girl gives up. Again, underlying truth, he is a friend first. Girl is hurt but they continue to chat. Girl stops talking to him for a bit ( which she had done a lot of times during this “acquaintance” btw. First few times he’d tolerated and understood, but after a while he began to get pissed off at the fact that girl stopped talking to him when she saw fit. But girl explained each time why she cut him off. She found it unbearable to think that he loved someone else more and she maybe was just his pass time. Sometimes it hurt more than other times and so she cut him off to “heal” before being ok to treat him as a friend should again). Girl talks to guy again and these recent times it’s a case of if she doesn’t talk he doesn’t, if they do chat, she chats he just answers, offers nothing about himself. Girl feels it’s just best to let go now. But can’t but what hurts the most is how the guy just let go and after all they shared he feels no need to offer proper kind of explanation for his change. Now she just seems to be a contact…
--------------------------------------


So I ask…......is the guy a dick?

Marcus.
07-11-2012, 07:16 PM
yes

Ithinkiloveyoutoo
07-11-2012, 07:18 PM
You could not have read all that already? :shocked:

Marcus.
07-11-2012, 07:20 PM
You could not have read all that already? :shocked:

poor girl

Ithinkiloveyoutoo
07-11-2012, 07:32 PM
poor girl

why do you think the guy could have changed?

Marcus.
07-11-2012, 07:34 PM
why do you think the guy could have changed?

ht should of come clean

Marsh.
07-11-2012, 07:34 PM
Is this a Taylor Swift song?

Ithinkiloveyoutoo
07-11-2012, 07:38 PM
No

Ammi
07-11-2012, 07:46 PM
..I don't think he did change..I think it always meant more to her than it did to him..

Niamh.
07-11-2012, 07:51 PM
Girl knew guy had a girlfriend, serves her right.

Cherie
07-11-2012, 07:56 PM
In the beginning the girl treated him as a friend, he set out to change her feelings, he wanted to boost his ego, he enjoyed the thrill of the chase, the flirtation, it was exciting, a secret, the girls manner at some point changed towards him, he realised she was getting serious, time for him to back off after all he doenst want complications in his life....

Ithinkiloveyoutoo
07-11-2012, 08:01 PM
In the beginning the girl treated him as a friend, he set out to change her feelings, he wanted to boost his ego, he enjoyed the thrill of the chase, the flirtation, it was exciting, a secret, the girls manner at some point changed towards him, he realised she was getting serious, time for him to back off after all he doenst want complications in his life....

I like this.

Ithinkiloveyoutoo
07-11-2012, 08:02 PM
Girl knew guy had a girlfriend, serves her right.

True as well. Girl should take some blame.

Ithinkiloveyoutoo
07-11-2012, 08:03 PM
..I don't think he did change..I think it always meant more to her than it did to him..

hmm....

Niamh.
07-11-2012, 08:05 PM
True as well. Girl should take some blame.

Absolutely, Guy is obviously a dick but I feel more sorry for his g/f tbh. Girl should learn to stay away from twats who like to mess around (in a way) when they're already attached

Mystic Mock
07-11-2012, 08:10 PM
Guy's the biggest dick out of the two of them but I agree with Niamh that the Guy's girlfriend is the most innocent in all this.

After reading all that though im gonna have to cool my image up again by listening to some Linkin Park.

Marsh.
07-11-2012, 08:11 PM
"We are never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever getting back together".

Ammi
07-11-2012, 08:12 PM
..I don't think it was ever more than a flirty game to him ITILY2....something to massage his ego...and she ingnored what had been the primary thing in the first place..that he had a long term girlfriend..well, she didn't ignore it, but she did allow it to be pushed into the background and allow herself to continue the flirtation anyway and eventually convinced herself she had fallen for him..when, it should have been the whole reason why she didn't pusue it..there was never a 'relationship' between them in the first place..he was wrong to allow her to think there was...he had a partner...and it's possible he felt she wasn't giving him enough attention at the time...whether it was 'online' or not...he was decieving his partner and basically cheating

SharkAttack
07-11-2012, 08:12 PM
He's a dick and she was weak. Learning moment. Move on and don't look back.

Ammi
07-11-2012, 08:14 PM
Absolutely, Guy is obviously a dick but I feel more sorry for his g/f tbh. Girl should learn to stay away from twats who like to mess around (in a way) when they're already attached

..exactly..she's the one in a long term relationship and if she finds out...she's the one who will be most hurt by this...

..and she didn't play a part in any of it..

Ithinkiloveyoutoo
07-11-2012, 08:15 PM
Absolutely, Guy is obviously a dick but I feel more sorry for his g/f tbh. Girl should learn to stay away from twats who like to mess around (in a way) when they're already attached

Yes the partners are always the victims. I feel girl should get some sympathy too though as she seemed to mainly want him as a friend at first, as they had common interests.

Ithinkiloveyoutoo
07-11-2012, 08:17 PM
"We are never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever getting back together".
I see what you did there :hugesmile:

Marsh.
07-11-2012, 08:18 PM
Is this a true story?

Niamh.
07-11-2012, 08:18 PM
Yes the partners are always the victims. I feel girl should get some sympathy too though as she seemed to mainly want him as a friend at first, as they had common interests.

I don't believe she should get any sympathy tbh, he was taken, she knew that, she still knew that when he told her to forget about his g/f. Girl should learn a lesson from it

Ithinkiloveyoutoo
07-11-2012, 08:19 PM
..I don't think it was ever more than a flirty game to him ITILY2....something to massage his ego...and she ingnored what had been the primary thing in the first place..that he had a long term girlfriend..well, she didn't ignore it, but she did allow it to be pushed into the background and allow herself to continue the flirtation anyway and eventually convinced herself she had fallen for him..when, it should have been the whole reason why she didn't pusue it..there was never a 'relationship' between them in the first place..he was wrong to allow her to think there was...he had a partner...and it's possible he felt she wasn't giving him enough attention at the time...whether it was 'online' or not...he was decieving his partner and basically cheating

I think there's truth to this. He might've done the classic cheating man's "oh my partner treats me like crap. She thinks i'm this, that, that's why I nice when you and I talk"

Ammi
07-11-2012, 08:21 PM
I think there's truth to this. He might've done the classic cheating man's "oh my partner treats me like crap. She thinks i'm this, that, that's why I nice when you and I talk"

..yes because he had said it was a long term relationship..and relationships go through stale patches as well....but she didn't pay enough attention to the important part though...he was in a relationship...good or bad, he wasn't free to pursue anything else and she put herself in the position of getting hurt and reading more into it than she should....

Ithinkiloveyoutoo
07-11-2012, 08:22 PM
I don't believe she should get any sympathy tbh, he was taken, she knew that, she still knew that when he told her to forget about his g/f. Girl should learn a lesson from it

Indeed girl should. But still lol I give her some sympathy as friendship was her main goal with this guy.

Ithinkiloveyoutoo
07-11-2012, 08:23 PM
Is this a true story?

Could be. If it's not it's not something men don't do all the time anyway. :bored: (women too)

Marsh.
07-11-2012, 08:25 PM
I know. Bastards.

Niamh.
07-11-2012, 08:27 PM
Ammi this is making me think of those moral dilemmas you used to do, we need another of those!

Ithinkiloveyoutoo
07-11-2012, 08:29 PM
..yes because he had said it was a long term relationship..and relationships go through stale patches as well....but she didn't pay enough attention to the important part though...he was in a relationship...good or bad, he wasn't free to pursue anything else and she put herself in the position of getting hurt and reading more into it than she should....

True, poor girl.:( Sad thing is people can't help who they fall for. Now she has to deal with those feelings while the guy goes on with his relationship. ......or she could poke the guy's girlfriend on facebook and go on Jeremy kyle :joker: Why she guy be happy while girl drowns in his made-destruction?

Ithinkiloveyoutoo
07-11-2012, 08:31 PM
He's a dick and she was weak. Learning moment. Move on and don't look back.

So much of this combination everywhere. Maybe it's true girls and boys can't be just friends afterall. :conf:

Ammi
07-11-2012, 08:36 PM
Ammi this is making me think of those moral dilemmas you used to do, we need another of those!

..yeah, I love those..I'll try to google some tomorrow..see if I can find some new ones....

True, poor girl.:( Sad thing is people can't help who they fall for. Now she has to deal with those feelings while the guy goes on with his relationship. ......or she could poke the guy's girlfriend on facebook and go on Jeremy kyle :joker: Why she guy be happy while girl drowns in his made-destruction?

..the thing is they can ITILY2...they totally control who they fall for..for instance if I ever thought I could be even in the slightest way attracted to someone other than my partner...I would make sure I was never in the position were I could ever be tempted...that's in out control..to think that an initial attraction could stay as a friendship without any emotions becoming hurt is just niave...but worst of all..his partner will become hurt most when she didn't pursue anything...she will still see this as a betrayal...

Niamh.
07-11-2012, 08:39 PM
..yeah, I love those..I'll try to google some tomorrow..see if I can find some new ones....



..the thing is they can ITILY2...they totally control who they fall for..for instance if I ever thought I could be even in the slightest way attracted to someone other than my partner...I would make sure I was never in the position were I could ever be tempted...that's in out control..to think that an initial attraction could stay as a friendship without any emotions becoming hurt is just niave...but worst of all..his partner will become hurt most when she didn't pursue anything...she will still see this as a betrayal...

This, this, this. I hate that excuse

Ithinkiloveyoutoo
07-11-2012, 08:42 PM
..yeah, I love those..I'll try to google some tomorrow..see if I can find some new ones....



..the thing is they can ITILY2...they totally control who they fall for..for instance if I ever thought I could be even in the slightest way attracted to someone other than my partner...I would make sure I was never in the position were I could ever be tempted...that's in out control..to think that an initial attraction could stay as a friendship without any emotions becoming hurt is just niave...but worst of all..his partner will become hurt most when she didn't pursue anything...she will still see this as a betrayal...

This sounds sensible, and do-able however there are situations where one can't avoid the person-say maybe if they are colleagues or a fellow student at uni-then what? :(

Marsh.
07-11-2012, 08:43 PM
So much of this combination everywhere. Maybe it's true girls and boys can't be just friends afterall. :conf:

No, that's crap. I had female friends in college who I would never in a million years think of in a romantic/sexual way.

Ithinkiloveyoutoo
07-11-2012, 08:44 PM
This, this, this. I hate that excuse

lol. You think it's just a romanticized saying that emerged from a romance novel? :devil:

Ithinkiloveyoutoo
07-11-2012, 08:44 PM
No, that's crap. I had female friends in college who I would never in a million years think of in a romantic/sexual way.
Because they were unattractive? Could you have more than 5 female friends that looked like Kelly Brook?

Marsh.
07-11-2012, 08:46 PM
Because they were unattractive? Could you have more than 5 female friends that looked like Kelly Brook?

They're not unattractive at all. They're just friends though.

BTW, I don't find Kelly Brook attractive. :hugesmile:

Ithinkiloveyoutoo
07-11-2012, 08:47 PM
They're not unattractive at all. They're just friends though.

BTW, I don't find Kelly Brook attractive. :hugesmile:
Lol why did I have the feeling you would say that! :joker:

Niamh.
07-11-2012, 08:49 PM
lol. You think it's just a romanticized saying that emerged from a romance novel? :devil:

Yeah lol People can't help who they're attracted to absolutely but they choose to let it go further than that

Marsh.
07-11-2012, 08:54 PM
Lol why did I have the feeling you would say that! :joker:

Why? I just don't. lol

I prefer more natural looking girls, Brook always looks overdone.

Ammi
07-11-2012, 09:16 PM
lol. You think it's just a romanticized saying that emerged from a romance novel? :devil:

..yeah, but it is just that LOL..you can't help if you find some one initially attractive but you can help whether you pursue that attraction or not...it's all in your control and no one else's...

..just press the off button...

Z
08-11-2012, 12:39 AM
Some people just like to fill other people's heads with thoughts about them.. they like the buzz it gives them, knowing that someone else can't stop thinking about them, but inside they are empty. Often it's because they've been the victim of someone just like this, and consciously or subconsciously decide to try it out for themselves to see if it hurts any less from the other side. It doesn't. It hurts just as much to know that you are messing someone around as it hurts to be messed around. I feel sorry for the single girl in this scenario. She was victimised and then the manipulator turned it back around on her and played down her feelings as if she'd invented them out of thin air. I know exactly how she feels, I've been in a situation almost identical to this one, but in my case, the manipulator didn't have a long term relationship but rather had just come out of one and was still on/off with that person behind my back. Even to this day, like a year and a half after things ended between that person and I, they are still on/off with their ex. It just goes to show that you should never let yourself (and that's the key point, you do have control) get involved with someone who isn't a completely free agent. Everyone has their baggage, but it's up to you to decide what's worth the risk and what isn't. I don't think I'll ever get over the first time someone took my feelings and abused them to the point of no return, just because they could. I received no explanation for why they had done this to me - instead, when I said I was in love, the response was "no you're not" and a wall of silence.

Mystic Mock
08-11-2012, 12:41 AM
No, that's crap. I had female friends in college who I would never in a million years think of in a romantic/sexual way.

Same here for me in High School.

Cherie
08-11-2012, 07:25 AM
Months later, girl finds out boy has a long term girlfriend.


I don't know how the girl can be blamed in all this, they started out as friends (yes its a line from a song), in her head they were online/texting buddies with things in common, then he casually mentions his girlfriend after a few months!!!! If in her head they are friends why would she then say I want nothing more to do with this...(this forum would be pretty dead if anyone with a partner stopped posting/chatting :cat:.)...she was naive yes, because she didnt realise where it would lead... but she is not to blame, he suckered her in for his own thrills, and has now waltzed off into the sunset or moved on to someone else online (delete as appropriate).....

SharkAttack
08-11-2012, 08:10 AM
So much of this combination everywhere. Maybe it's true girls and boys can't be just friends afterall. :conf:

False. When people hit their mid-20s, or perhaps long before, they say things like "look, I want a relationship without games..." *This* whole thing was a game. The guy was a long-term flirt and catch, who took her off the shelf whenever he saw fit. He was having his woman and having something "special" on the side, but later tired of this latest fetch, or guilt came into play. Complete douche. Good?

And the girl fell for the game, which was this guy "side-cheating," leading her into this gloomy mess of a person, with the sweet-talking and illusions, all for self-gratification. And this kind of crap, the back-and-forth, went on for, what, a few years? Sick bastard, really. If anything, she's lucky that she didn't actually sleep with him. He never got that. :nono: But the heart and head is another thing. What can I say? I didn't like the story, it felt cruel and immature.

Well-seasoned men and women know the games, and won't fall for them, but only because they've been there at some time. Hope she's currently dating and bedding Hugh Grant and sending photos to douchee-McGee...so she can play her last game and get past this. http://i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp32/sharkattack_torrential/wink.gif

Josy
08-11-2012, 02:50 PM
Both are dicks.

Kate!
08-11-2012, 02:53 PM
Is this a true story?

nah, it's a love story...baby just say yes ;)

Niamh.
08-11-2012, 03:01 PM
Both are dicks.

:worship:

Marsh.
08-11-2012, 03:12 PM
nah, it's a love story...baby just say yes ;)

:laugh:

Ithinkiloveyoutoo
08-11-2012, 08:12 PM
Some people just like to fill other people's heads with thoughts about them.. they like the buzz it gives them, knowing that someone else can't stop thinking about them, but inside they are empty. Often it's because they've been the victim of someone just like this, and consciously or subconsciously decide to try it out for themselves to see if it hurts any less from the other side. It doesn't. It hurts just as much to know that you are messing someone around as it hurts to be messed around. I feel sorry for the single girl in this scenario. She was victimised and then the manipulator turned it back around on her and played down her feelings as if she'd invented them out of thin air. I know exactly how she feels, I've been in a situation almost identical to this one, but in my case, the manipulator didn't have a long term relationship but rather had just come out of one and was still on/off with that person behind my back. Even to this day, like a year and a half after things ended between that person and I, they are still on/off with their ex. It just goes to show that you should never let yourself (and that's the key point, you do have control) get involved with someone who isn't a completely free agent. Everyone has their baggage, but it's up to you to decide what's worth the risk and what isn't. I don't think I'll ever get over the first time someone took my feelings and abused them to the point of no return, just because they could. I received no explanation for why they had done this to me - instead, when I said I was in love, the response was "no you're not" and a wall of silence.

Aw Zee, i'm sorry you went through that. That does hurt, and it DOES hurt more when there's no explanation. I believe explanations help as part of the healing process otherwise you could spend, months, years, forever wondering what happened, even if along the way you find a beautiful relationship.

Ithinkiloveyoutoo
08-11-2012, 08:13 PM
Both are dicks.

Lol.