Pauline was bulied as a child..?...

[Ammi]

..so she told Christopher in the HL show..she has been pretty awful to Jale and Christopher and I think it is psychological bullying and I don't say 'bullying' lightly but as we know the bullied often become the bullies themselves so should we now feel any sympathy/empathy for her behaviour..?..does the fact that she was bullied change your opinion of her in any way..?..

[user104658]

It possibly explains her obsessive need to get others "on side" and also the bulldozing in conversations, not even listening to the other person and being loud / aggressive to "shut it down".

But no, it doesn't change my opinion of her. I base my opinions of people on who they are today... Not who they have been, or what they have done, in the past. It's really irrelevant, when you think about it. Pretty much every nasty / defensive / unlikable person, or even a cruel/"evil" person, has things in their past that explain why they are the way they are... In the end it doesn't really matter.

[chuff me dizzy]

Anyone would think she was a certainty to be evicted this week :whistle:she playing for the pity vote, but shes not got mine ,reap and sow

[rubymoo]

You can't keep blaming your past for your current actions, many people have had **** childhoods and are good people, Pauline needs to grow up, let go of the past and learn how to be a better human.

[GypsyGoth]

I don't have that much sympathy for her, she is on a gameshow about personalities. And you're forced to be in close proximity with others and groups will naturally form. She knew all this before signing up.

And she's extremely good at intimidating, so it's not like she became a totally different person once in the house. Like this experience didn't unlock some hidden bully part of her.

Also this revelation only came after the 'get Pauline out!' chants. It would have seemed more genuine to me if she had have said something before then. Now she is all about building bridges and trying to understand those who annoy her. Before she was rude and at times childish towards them.

[Ammi]

It possibly explains her obsessive need to get others "on side" and also the bulldozing in conversations, not even listening to the other person and being loud / aggressive to "shut it down".

But no, it doesn't change my opinion of her. I base my opinions of people on who they are today... Not who they have been, or what they have done, in the past. It's really irrelevant, when you think about it. Pretty much every nasty / defensive / unlikable person, or even a cruel/"evil" person, has things in their past that explain why they are the way they are... In the end it doesn't really matter.


..yeah I agree with you, it may 'explain' but it doesn't 'excuse' in that the end results are no less to the people she then bullies..they're no less bullied because there is a reason for her behaviour but I just wondered if it would change anyone else's opinion...I will say though that if she was bullied then I hope that she can 'step outside' when watching it herself and maybe realise that she may actually need and benefit from some professional help because I don't think she herself can be a very happy person when she 'dislikes' so deeply...

[lily.]

A lot of child molesters were molested as a child.

I still want to shoot them in the head.

[Ammi]

..LOL, I just read my post back and wondered how many times I can say the same thing and repeat myself in a post rather than just making it shorter..I never really ever got that knack and go round the houses with stuff...


..just a little off topic thing there...

[Jake.]

Don't really care for her in all honesty, I've been bullied a lot in the past and wouldn't dream of bullying somebody else or making them feel alone.. she's just not a nice person

[waterhog]

its the strengh of people - they need to stand up to her or she is going to continue. anyone who associates with her really can not see.

as for paulines past - yes it may repeat but what we are dealing with is right here and right now - deal with the problem - there is more of them then her - but can she get through or is a crash on its way.

[Pete.]

that's surely no excuse to bully others

sorryijustdontgetit

[Dash Darington]

..so she told Christopher in the HL show..she has been pretty awful to Jale and Christopher and I think it is psychological bullying and I don't say 'bullying' lightly but as we know the bullied often become the bullies themselves so should we now feel any sympathy/empathy for her behaviour..?..does the fact that she was bullied change your opinion of her in any way..?..

You should take a moment to consider the difference between facts and claims.

This is just one more pretense for her to act as if someone else is responsible for her behaviour.

[user104658]

A lot of child molesters were molested as a child.

I still want to shoot them in the head.

Well exactly. From a psychological perspective, I find the reasons that people become "monsters" (child abusers, sociopaths, serial killers) very interesting but examining those reasons, and feeling sympathy perhaps for that child they ONCE were, doesn't mean I'd sit down for a cup of tea with them today. It doesn't change who they are now.

Not that I'm likening Pauline to a sociopath! :joker:... But it's the same deal really. A lot of school bullies are like that because they are belittled by their own parents / have no power or control at home. I feel bad for them, that someone broke them like that, but it doesn't change the fact of what they have become...

[Kazanne]

You can't keep blaming your past for your current actions, many people have had **** childhoods and are good people, Pauline needs to grow up, let go of the past and learn how to be a better human.

My feelings exactly,do we only have Paulines word for this? if so I doubt I believe it,it's just a card she's pulled out as she knows deep down she has been out of order with Jale and Chrisopher and is now trying to justify it,it a round about way,she is a liar and bully,I dislike the woman even more now.

[Jamesy]

No excuse for becoming a bully.

I was bullied and I would never put someone though that. It's a horrible experience and I couldn't think of anything worse than making someone go through what you've suffered with yourself.

I think Pauline is generally a vile woman.

[Patricia4]

Anyone would think she was a certainty to be evicted this week :whistle:she playing for the pity vote, but shes not got mine ,reap and sow

She doesn't have mine either the nasty cow.

[Ammi]

You should take a moment to consider the difference between facts and claims.

This is just one more pretense for her to act as if someone else is responsible for her behaviour.

..yeah I agree that was a wrong choice of word but I also have no reason to disbelieve what she said either...not that it 'excuses' but I have no reason to think it's not true..

[Cal.]

No excuse for becoming a bully.

I was bullied and I would never put someone though that. It's a horrible experience and I couldn't think of anything worse than making someone go through what you've suffered with yourself.

I think Pauline is generally a vile woman.

:(

[2]

[chuff me dizzy]

She doesn't have mine either the nasty cow.

Oh she minds ,shes gutted ,but trying to tell us otherwise

[Jemal]

Couldn't really give a flying donkey if she was bullied.

[Livia]

I was bullied at school. It was hideous. It still upsets me to this day when I think of the treatment I got at the hands of a bunch of girls. I was singled out first, and totally alone by the time the real bullying started. They were really good at it. Sadly for them it seems it was the only thing they were ever good at.

I have never bullied anyone, quite the reverse, I find myself standing up for people who are picked on. I know everyone reacts differently to events but I honestly can't understand how someone who's gone through the nightmare of being bullied and know how that makes you feel, only to inflict that pain on someone else. If anything, I find it more offensive because they have prior knowledge of the outcome of their actions.

[Niamh.]

It possibly explains her obsessive need to get others "on side" and also the bulldozing in conversations, not even listening to the other person and being loud / aggressive to "shut it down".

But no, it doesn't change my opinion of her. I base my opinions of people on who they are today... Not who they have been, or what they have done, in the past. It's really irrelevant, when you think about it. Pretty much every nasty / defensive / unlikable person, or even a cruel/"evil" person, has things in their past that explain why they are the way they are... In the end it doesn't really matter.

I agree with this, of course it's sad when people are bullied or have had bad stuff happen to them but there comes a point when you have to take responsibility for yourself and your own actions and not blame it on past experiences

[Niamh.]

I was bullied at school. It was hideous. It still upsets me to this day when I think of the treatment I got at the hands of a bunch of girls. I was singled out first, and totally alone by the time the real bullying started. They were really good at it. Sadly for them it seems it was the only thing they were ever good at.

I have never bullied anyone, quite the reverse, I find myself standing up for people who are picked on. I know everyone reacts differently to events but I honestly can't understand how someone who's gone through the nightmare of being bullied and know how that makes you feel, only to inflict that pain on someone else. If anything, I find it more offensive because they have prior knowledge of the outcome of their actions.

Sorry to hear that Livia :(

But I would have thought that to be the case as well but I guess it's the same with paedophiles as well isn't it, alot of people who were abused go on to become abusers, there doesn't seem to be any logic to that unless it's a case that they become so angry and bitter that they want to take that anger and bitterness out on other people and make them feel as bad as they did?

[Livia]

Sorry to hear that Livia :(

But I would have thought that to be the case as well but I guess it's the same with paedophiles as well isn't it, alot of people who were abused go on to become abusers, there doesn't seem to be any logic to that unless it's a case that they become so angry and bitter that they want to take that anger and bitterness out on other people and make them feel as bad as they did?

I like to think it made me a bit stronger and more empathetic. But like you say, it doesn't take everyone the same way. It's a struggle to understand though, and consequently a struggle to swallow it as an excuse.

[Niamh.]

I like to think it made me a bit stronger and more empathetic. But like you say, it doesn't take everyone the same way. It's a struggle to understand though, and consequently a struggle to swallow it as an excuse.

I wouldn't take it as an excuse at all, there's no excuse for treating another human being like that and people shouldn't be let off the hook because of it. Like you said yourself, it actually makes it worse when you know that person is very much aware of how bad they're making the other person feel

[rusticgal]

Anyone would think she was a certainty to be evicted this week :whistle:she playing for the pity vote, but shes not got mine ,reap and sow

Yes you are right chuff....she is going to backtracking big time this week. Playing the sympathy card and being everyone's friend....

[InOne]

I kinda think Pauline probably wasn't bullied at all and it's another tactic to grind people down and justify her behaviour to others. She knows what she's doing and at what point to stab the knife in for maximum effect. It's quite unnerving that she's worse when she's alone with the people, it's not always in the group scenario although she's work with both to suit her agenda at the time.

[Jords]

Im not sure, it could have been used just to become relatable with Christopher in order to repair damage with him more effectively.

[fitz2k2]

enough with the word bullying geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez

[Kizzy]

I think that bullying comes in many guises, if you are mocked, patronised and generally talked down to constantly for me that is as bad as a physical assault.
It's sometimes so subtle that others may not be aware it's even occurring, or accepted as it is here with pauline.
She is popular and older than the others, her personal brand of wisdom only excuses those who agree with her sanctimonious waffling... Anyone on the periphery is walking a fine line trying to appease her to maintain their position in her group.
Anyone on the outside, or who attempts to challenge her authority is swiftly excluded, verbally attacked then shunned.

If she was bullied which I doubt then she hasn't learned that treating people badly hurts.

[lily.]

Well exactly. From a psychological perspective, I find the reasons that people become "monsters" (child abusers, sociopaths, serial killers) very interesting but examining those reasons, and feeling sympathy perhaps for that child they ONCE were, doesn't mean I'd sit down for a cup of tea with them today. It doesn't change who they are now.

Not that I'm likening Pauline to a sociopath! :joker:... But it's the same deal really. A lot of school bullies are like that because they are belittled by their own parents / have no power or control at home. I feel bad for them, that someone broke them like that, but it doesn't change the fact of what they have become...

Yup.. It's hard to sympathise with someone who does harm to others.

I feel really sorry for people like Ashleigh. At her age, she must be terrified to open her mouth in front of Pauline..

[lovebigbrotheruk]

Technically, you're all cyber bullying...just saying.

[Cherie]

Technically, you're all cyber bullying...just saying.

Not really the HMs choose to put themselves up for public scrutiny, they expect the public to use their money to save/evict each week, so they know what they are getting into, so technically it is open season by their own free will.

[rubymoo]

Technically, you're all cyber bullying...just saying.

I don't think so....to cyber bully, the person you're bullying would need access to it.

[Daffodil]

I have thought from the beginning that Pauline is like a school bully. I think her saying that she 'became a school girl again' to Christopher was initially a reference to the fact that she was a bullying schoolgirl. She quickly added .... 'and I was the one being bullied'. The latter part was a lie. I believe she WAS a bully at school.

[Cherie]

I have thought from the beginning that Pauline is like a school bully. I think her saying that she 'became a school girl again' to Christopher was initially a reference to the fact that she was a bullying schoolgirl. She quickly added .... 'and I was the one being bullied'. The latter part was a lie. I believe she WAS a bully at school.


Probably!

[chuff me dizzy]

Yes you are right chuff....she is going to backtracking big time this week. Playing the sympathy card and being everyone's friend....

Wont she just !! dont think anyone is going to fall for it though

[chuff me dizzy]

I think that bullying comes in many guises, if you are mocked, patronised and generally talked down to constantly for me that is as bad as a physical assault.
It's sometimes so subtle that others may not be aware it's even occurring, or accepted as it is here with pauline.
She is popular and older than the others, her personal brand of wisdom only excuses those who agree with her sanctimonious waffling... Anyone on the periphery is walking a fine line trying to appease her to maintain their position in her group.
Anyone on the outside, or who attempts to challenge her authority is swiftly excluded, verbally attacked then shunned.

If she was bullied which I doubt then she hasn't learned that treating people badly hurts.

So true, bullies are not always obvious, they can do it in a dirty, sly way ,they love to hurt people for their own selfish gain or entertainment

[joeysteele]

I was bullied at school. It was hideous. It still upsets me to this day when I think of the treatment I got at the hands of a bunch of girls. I was singled out first, and totally alone by the time the real bullying started. They were really good at it. Sadly for them it seems it was the only thing they were ever good at.

I have never bullied anyone, quite the reverse, I find myself standing up for people who are picked on. I know everyone reacts differently to events but I honestly can't understand how someone who's gone through the nightmare of being bullied and know how that makes you feel, only to inflict that pain on someone else. If anything, I find it more offensive because they have prior knowledge of the outcome of their actions.


Absolutely right. I also can never understand how someone who has been bullied can then inflict that on others, worse still when they are fast banging down the door of 50 too.
Really well said.

No way for me can Pauline hide behind that one to justify how she is acting now.

[Ammi]

I have thought from the beginning that Pauline is like a school bully. I think her saying that she 'became a school girl again' to Christopher was initially a reference to the fact that she was a bullying schoolgirl. She quickly added .... 'and I was the one being bullied'. The latter part was a lie. I believe she WAS a bully at school.


..I think I tend to agree with that, Daffodil..I remember watching an American TV series once where the victims confronted their bullies from childhood and talked about the effect it had, had on their lives and how they felt and the bullies quite often seemed to be completely oblivious to the fact that they had in fact been a bully..that's the thing about bullies, they have no self-awareness whatsoever which is their 'justification' for their actions...and Pauline definitely doesn't appear to be self aware at all...

[Livia]

I have thought from the beginning that Pauline is like a school bully. I think her saying that she 'became a school girl again' to Christopher was initially a reference to the fact that she was a bullying schoolgirl. She quickly added .... 'and I was the one being bullied'. The latter part was a lie. I believe she WAS a bully at school.

Didn't notice this post till Ammi quoted it. I agree entirely.

[wendywillow]

she sees the writing on the wall, boos, now getting nommed, would she be saying any of this if she were still in charge?

[flamingGalah!]

I don't believe her for a second, she is trying for the sympathy vote now she knows she is hated... And even if she was bullied that is no excuse at all for her vile behaviour :nono: So no still hate the bitch...

[ABigbother]

It's sickening seeing people suck up to Pauline.

[Vicky.]

I think she realised how badly she may have come across and was trying damage control.

I will never understand the mentality behind 'I had something bad happen to me so now I do it to others'..though I know a lot of people use that as an excuse for various things.

[user104658]

Didn't notice this post till Ammi quoted it. I agree entirely.

It's often (sort of) both, to be honest. Many bullies are angry, damaged kids and they take out that anger on smaller, weaker kids. But the kids who AREN'T smaller and weaker tend to laugh at / ignore / be dismissive of those sorts of people. Not really bullying exactly - mainly just because they don't want anything to do with them... and so, the bullies often find themselves left out and mocked. Which makes them more bitter, more angry, and more determined to continue to take it out on the ones that they can victimize.

Basically they get hooked on the feeling of power they get from making someone else feel small, and then when others take that feeling away from them, they double their efforts to get that feeling back.

I think this is exactly the sort of bully that Pauline is. Being "challenged" by some of them made her instantly ten times worse.

Compare that to Conor, who was your classic "boulder-head" bully... just basically a big unintelligent and aggressive toddler-bloke who liked to throw his weight around and sulk in general. A massive three year old who wanted all of the toys and never grew up.

They're very different beasts... Conor was truly awful but I hope Pauline is out, fast, because I think she's potentially worse.

[Livia]

It's often (sort of) both, to be honest. Many bullies are angry, damaged kids and they take out that anger on smaller, weaker kids. But the kids who AREN'T smaller and weaker tend to laugh at / ignore / be dismissive of those sorts of people. Not really bullying exactly - mainly just because they don't want anything to do with them... and so, the bullies often find themselves left out and mocked. Which makes them more bitter, more angry, and more determined to continue to take it out on the ones that they can victimize.

Basically they get hooked on the feeling of power they get from making someone else feel small, and then when others take that feeling away from them, they double their efforts to get that feeling back.

I think this is exactly the sort of bully that Pauline is. Being "challenged" by some of them made her instantly ten times worse.

Compare that to Conor, who was your classic "boulder-head" bully... just basically a big unintelligent and aggressive toddler-bloke who liked to throw his weight around and sulk in general. A massive three year old who wanted all of the toys and never grew up.

They're very different beasts... Conor was truly awful but I hope Pauline is out, fast, because I think she's potentially worse.

Yes, all true... The first paragraph - I remember it well.

Very eloquent and funny-but-true description of Conor LOL...