[Ammi]

..so she told Christopher in the HL show..she has been pretty awful to Jale and Christopher and I think it is psychological bullying and I don't say 'bullying' lightly but as we know the bullied often become the bullies themselves so should we now feel any sympathy/empathy for her behaviour..?..does the fact that she was bullied change your opinion of her in any way..?..

[Toy Soldier]

It possibly explains her obsessive need to get others "on side" and also the bulldozing in conversations, not even listening to the other person and being loud / aggressive to "shut it down".

But no, it doesn't change my opinion of her. I base my opinions of people on who they are today... Not who they have been, or what they have done, in the past. It's really irrelevant, when you think about it. Pretty much every nasty / defensive / unlikable person, or even a cruel/"evil" person, has things in their past that explain why they are the way they are... In the end it doesn't really matter.

[chuff me dizzy]

Anyone would think she was a certainty to be evicted this week she playing for the pity vote, but shes not got mine ,reap and sow

[rubymoo]

You can't keep blaming your past for your current actions, many people have had **** childhoods and are good people, Pauline needs to grow up, let go of the past and learn how to be a better human.

[GypsyGoth]

I don't have that much sympathy for her, she is on a gameshow about personalities. And you're forced to be in close proximity with others and groups will naturally form. She knew all this before signing up.

And she's extremely good at intimidating, so it's not like she became a totally different person once in the house. Like this experience didn't unlock some hidden bully part of her.

Also this revelation only came after the 'get Pauline out!' chants. It would have seemed more genuine to me if she had have said something before then. Now she is all about building bridges and trying to understand those who annoy her. Before she was rude and at times childish towards them.

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

It possibly explains her obsessive need to get others "on side" and also the bulldozing in conversations, not even listening to the other person and being loud / aggressive to "shut it down".

But no, it doesn't change my opinion of her. I base my opinions of people on who they are today... Not who they have been, or what they have done, in the past. It's really irrelevant, when you think about it. Pretty much every nasty / defensive / unlikable person, or even a cruel/"evil" person, has things in their past that explain why they are the way they are... In the end it doesn't really matter.

..yeah I agree with you, it may 'explain' but it doesn't 'excuse' in that the end results are no less to the people she then bullies..they're no less bullied because there is a reason for her behaviour but I just wondered if it would change anyone else's opinion...I will say though that if she was bullied then I hope that she can 'step outside' when watching it herself and maybe realise that she may actually need and benefit from some professional help because I don't think she herself can be a very happy person when she 'dislikes' so deeply...

[lily.]

A lot of child molesters were molested as a child.

I still want to shoot them in the head.

[Ammi]

..LOL, I just read my post back and wondered how many times I can say the same thing and repeat myself in a post rather than just making it shorter..I never really ever got that knack and go round the houses with stuff...


..just a little off topic thing there...

[Jake.]

Don't really care for her in all honesty, I've been bullied a lot in the past and wouldn't dream of bullying somebody else or making them feel alone.. she's just not a nice person

[waterhog]

its the strengh of people - they need to stand up to her or she is going to continue. anyone who associates with her really can not see.

as for paulines past - yes it may repeat but what we are dealing with is right here and right now - deal with the problem - there is more of them then her - but can she get through or is a crash on its way.

[Pete.]

that's surely no excuse to bully others

sorryijustdontgetit

[Dash Darington]

Originally Posted by Ammi

..so she told Christopher in the HL show..she has been pretty awful to Jale and Christopher and I think it is psychological bullying and I don't say 'bullying' lightly but as we know the bullied often become the bullies themselves so should we now feel any sympathy/empathy for her behaviour..?..does the fact that she was bullied change your opinion of her in any way..?..

You should take a moment to consider the difference between facts and claims.

This is just one more pretense for her to act as if someone else is responsible for her behaviour.

[Toy Soldier]

Originally Posted by lily.

A lot of child molesters were molested as a child.

I still want to shoot them in the head.

Well exactly. From a psychological perspective, I find the reasons that people become "monsters" (child abusers, sociopaths, serial killers) very interesting but examining those reasons, and feeling sympathy perhaps for that child they ONCE were, doesn't mean I'd sit down for a cup of tea with them today. It doesn't change who they are now.

Not that I'm likening Pauline to a sociopath! ... But it's the same deal really. A lot of school bullies are like that because they are belittled by their own parents / have no power or control at home. I feel bad for them, that someone broke them like that, but it doesn't change the fact of what they have become...

[Kazanne]

Originally Posted by rubymoo

You can't keep blaming your past for your current actions, many people have had **** childhoods and are good people, Pauline needs to grow up, let go of the past and learn how to be a better human.

My feelings exactly,do we only have Paulines word for this? if so I doubt I believe it,it's just a card she's pulled out as she knows deep down she has been out of order with Jale and Chrisopher and is now trying to justify it,it a round about way,she is a liar and bully,I dislike the woman even more now.

[Jamesy]

No excuse for becoming a bully.

I was bullied and I would never put someone though that. It's a horrible experience and I couldn't think of anything worse than making someone go through what you've suffered with yourself.

I think Pauline is generally a vile woman.

[Patricia4]

Originally Posted by chuff me dizzy

Anyone would think she was a certainty to be evicted this week she playing for the pity vote, but shes not got mine ,reap and sow

She doesn't have mine either the nasty cow.

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Dash Darington

You should take a moment to consider the difference between facts and claims.

This is just one more pretense for her to act as if someone else is responsible for her behaviour.

..yeah I agree that was a wrong choice of word but I also have no reason to disbelieve what she said either...not that it 'excuses' but I have no reason to think it's not true..

[Cal.]

Originally Posted by Jamesy

No excuse for becoming a bully.

I was bullied and I would never put someone though that. It's a horrible experience and I couldn't think of anything worse than making someone go through what you've suffered with yourself.

I think Pauline is generally a vile woman.

[2]

[chuff me dizzy]

Originally Posted by Patricia4

She doesn't have mine either the nasty cow.

Oh she minds ,shes gutted ,but trying to tell us otherwise

[Jemal]

Couldn't really give a flying donkey if she was bullied.

[Livia]

I was bullied at school. It was hideous. It still upsets me to this day when I think of the treatment I got at the hands of a bunch of girls. I was singled out first, and totally alone by the time the real bullying started. They were really good at it. Sadly for them it seems it was the only thing they were ever good at.

I have never bullied anyone, quite the reverse, I find myself standing up for people who are picked on. I know everyone reacts differently to events but I honestly can't understand how someone who's gone through the nightmare of being bullied and know how that makes you feel, only to inflict that pain on someone else. If anything, I find it more offensive because they have prior knowledge of the outcome of their actions.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

It possibly explains her obsessive need to get others "on side" and also the bulldozing in conversations, not even listening to the other person and being loud / aggressive to "shut it down".

But no, it doesn't change my opinion of her. I base my opinions of people on who they are today... Not who they have been, or what they have done, in the past. It's really irrelevant, when you think about it. Pretty much every nasty / defensive / unlikable person, or even a cruel/"evil" person, has things in their past that explain why they are the way they are... In the end it doesn't really matter.

I agree with this, of course it's sad when people are bullied or have had bad stuff happen to them but there comes a point when you have to take responsibility for yourself and your own actions and not blame it on past experiences

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Livia

I was bullied at school. It was hideous. It still upsets me to this day when I think of the treatment I got at the hands of a bunch of girls. I was singled out first, and totally alone by the time the real bullying started. They were really good at it. Sadly for them it seems it was the only thing they were ever good at.

I have never bullied anyone, quite the reverse, I find myself standing up for people who are picked on. I know everyone reacts differently to events but I honestly can't understand how someone who's gone through the nightmare of being bullied and know how that makes you feel, only to inflict that pain on someone else. If anything, I find it more offensive because they have prior knowledge of the outcome of their actions.

Sorry to hear that Livia

But I would have thought that to be the case as well but I guess it's the same with paedophiles as well isn't it, alot of people who were abused go on to become abusers, there doesn't seem to be any logic to that unless it's a case that they become so angry and bitter that they want to take that anger and bitterness out on other people and make them feel as bad as they did?

[Livia]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Sorry to hear that Livia

But I would have thought that to be the case as well but I guess it's the same with paedophiles as well isn't it, alot of people who were abused go on to become abusers, there doesn't seem to be any logic to that unless it's a case that they become so angry and bitter that they want to take that anger and bitterness out on other people and make them feel as bad as they did?

I like to think it made me a bit stronger and more empathetic. But like you say, it doesn't take everyone the same way. It's a struggle to understand though, and consequently a struggle to swallow it as an excuse.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Livia

I like to think it made me a bit stronger and more empathetic. But like you say, it doesn't take everyone the same way. It's a struggle to understand though, and consequently a struggle to swallow it as an excuse.

I wouldn't take it as an excuse at all, there's no excuse for treating another human being like that and people shouldn't be let off the hook because of it. Like you said yourself, it actually makes it worse when you know that person is very much aware of how bad they're making the other person feel