A New Festive Frolic - What's In Santa's Sack?

[kirklancaster]

The game is simple:

Santa's sack is packed tight with Tibbie presents but players must guess which present is on top of the sack. Santa must give players THREE initial clues to help them guess what the present is.

The player who correctly guesses then becomes Santa and puts his own present to the top of the sack and gives players three clues etc,

RULES
1) Presents must be NORMAL presents which are likely to be given at Christmas - NO stupid ones such as "A blow up doll" or "A Box of Madonna's used tampons"

2) Clues given MUST be genuine clues which will assist the players in guessing the present.

3) It should become apparent when NO ONE is going to guess correctly - in which case the Santa has the power to give extra clues as he/she deems necessary.

In case anyone wants to play, I'll start:

A) This gift comes in different sizes.
B) Its name sounds dangerous.
c) Does this gift cover 24 inches?

[Denver]

High Heels

[Shaun]

a cock ring

[Ninastar]

ribbed for her pleasure condoms?

[Drew.]

Josy

[kirklancaster]

a cock ring

:laugh2:

I'd have shown you a :fist: (you twat Shaun ) but your answer actually fits the clues. :laugh::laugh::laugh:

[kirklancaster]

High Heels

I KNEW my boy would be warmest and in the right area. :smug:

[Iceman]

Stilettos?? I have no clue lol

[kirklancaster]

Stilettos?? I have no clue lol

Woah - you are so near Eoin :laugh: Think of what MOST members get at Chrimbo at some time or other.

[Iceman]

Socks lol

[smudgie]

Slippers.

[bots]

i call socks too

[kirklancaster]

Slippers.

:dance::dance::dance:

SLIPPERS is correct Smudgie.

A) This gift comes in different sizes --. Slippers come in different sizes.
B) Its name sounds dangerous. -- Slippers sound dangerous .
c) Does this gift cover 24 inches? -- Covers two FEET.

You are Santa Smudgie.

[Kizzy]

a. it's free
b. we all want it
c. sounds like small round vegetables.

[Niamh.]

Pee

[MB.]

A good stuffing

[Mokka]

Pee

Great answer! Not sure how it fits in Santa's sack :think:

[Kizzy]

Pee

close...

[Niamh.]

Great answer! Not sure how it fits in Santa's sack :think:

Pee comes out of his sack, surely?

[Mokka]

Pee comes out of his sack, surely?
:joker::joker:

In the op: presents must be normal presents given at Christmas.... Is what I meant :hehe:

[Niamh.]

Small round vegetable hhhmmm

[Denver]

Sprout

[Kizzy]

Small round vegetable hhhmmm

Small round vegetables...... come on...... :D

[Niamh.]

Beans? Sprouts? lol

[MTVN]

Peace

[Iceman]

Peas

[Kizzy]

Peace

Finally!! :D

[kirklancaster]

Pee comes out of his sack, surely?

:laugh: You are actually TOO clever Niamh - Pee - sack - quite ingenious.

[kirklancaster]

Peace

Clever git. :laugh:

[Niamh.]

Finally!! :D

:laugh: You are actually TOO clever Niamh - Pee - sack - quite ingenious.

Not clever enough it seems :fan:


That was good Kizzy......D'uh

[Kizzy]

Not clever enough it seems :fan:


That was good Kizzy......D'uh

Thankyou Niamh x

[Crimson Dynamo]

Is it a sexy nun in stiletto and a small black bra that can barely contain her ample bosom. No knickers and a lascivious look about her?

:fc:

[Mokka]

Is it a sexy nun in stiletto and a small black bra that can barely contain her ample bosom. No knickers and a lascivious look about her?

:fc:

Yes...but the name tag on it says "For: Marsh"

[Crimson Dynamo]

Yes...but the name tag on it says "For: Marsh"

:omgno:

he is not allowed conjugal visits :nono:



much to your chagrin :hehe:

[Shaun]

1- it's dead
2- it belongs to Gav
3- it's Niamh's heart

Oh I did it wrong

[Ross.]

1- it's dead
2- it belongs to Gav
3- it's Niamh's heart

Oh I did it wrong

:joker:

[hijaxers]

Are u lot trying to make this a disaster ?

[Crimson Dynamo]

is it neems monster indoor vampire albino pussy?

[Mokka]

Are u lot trying to make this a disaster ?

They are hijaxers... :fist:

Straighten them out :smug:

[MB.]

is it neems monster indoor vampire albino pussy?

When isn't it? :idc:

[kirklancaster]

1- it's dead
2- it belongs to Gav
3- it's Niamh's heart

Oh I did it wrong

:laugh:

[Iceman]

1. It comes in lots of different shapes.
2. It doesn't last very long.
3. It can get messy and leave stains.

[Mokka]

1. It comes in lots of different shapes.
2. It doesn't last very long.
3. It can get messy and leave stains.

Cookies

[Iceman]

Nope

[kirklancaster]

1. It comes in lots of different shapes.
2. It doesn't last very long.
3. It can get messy and leave stains.

Play-Doh? Plasticine?

[Iceman]

No :laugh:

[Mokka]

Play-Doh? Plasticine?

I was thinking silly putty at first :hehe:

[Kizzy]

Red wine? ice cream?

[kirklancaster]

Is it Fruit Eoin?

[kirklancaster]

Red wine? ice cream?

That 'Peace' one of yours was brilliant by the way.

[Mokka]

Box of chocolates

[kirklancaster]

Box of chocolates

I think you have it Mokka - Chocolate.

[Iceman]

Nope. Nothing close so far.

[kirklancaster]

1. It comes in lots of different shapes.
2. It doesn't last very long.
3. It can get messy and leave stains.

Kids paint sets?

[Iceman]

Haha nope!!

[Iceman]

More for adults!!

[kirklancaster]

More for adults!!

:laugh: Isthis a serious proper Xmas gift? :huh:

[Iceman]

Yea lol. Honestly.

[kirklancaster]

Yea lol. Honestly.

:laugh::laugh: I believe you.

Is it a lady's vibrator? :laugh:

[bots]

bottle of wine

[kirklancaster]

bottle of wine

Ahh - I think you've nailed it BOTS.

[Iceman]

:laugh::laugh: I believe you.

Is it a lady's vibrator? :laugh:

No haha. It's not anything sexual. Well maybe it is. Depends hehe

[Iceman]

bottle of wine

No sorry!!!

[kirklancaster]

No haha. It's not anything sexual. Well maybe it is. Depends hehe

UH??? :laugh: It's getting more bloody baffling. :laugh:

[hijaxers]

Nope. Nothing close so far.

Is it booze related ?

[Iceman]

Not booze related no!!

[kirklancaster]

Batteries!

[Iceman]

No haha

[hijaxers]

No haha

No booze No batteries but its gotta be wet to stain ya - Yes ?

[Crimson Dynamo]

it must be haemorrhoids?

[kirklancaster]

it must be haemorrhoids?

:laugh: Yeah - We all get 'piles' of those for gifts at Christmas LT. :laugh:

[hijaxers]

it must be haemorrhoids?

LT no one gives haemorrhoids as a gift - well nobody i know

[Kazanne]

More for adults!!

Sex ? :conf:

[kirklancaster]

Sex ? :conf:

Is that an invitation to Eoin Kaz? :hehe:

[Crimson Dynamo]

LT no one gives haemorrhoids as a gift - well nobody i know

sorry I was emailing my doctor and I got my wires crossed

[bots]

haemorrhoid cream :hehe:

[kirklancaster]

haemorrhoid cream :hehe:

:laugh: Don't encourage LT BOTS

[Crimson Dynamo]

haemorrhoid cream :hehe:

it dosent bloody work :fist:


er.....i mean, is it chocolates

[kirklancaster]

it dosent bloody work :fist:


er.....i mean, is it chocolates

You're not meant to take it orally LT. :joker:

[Mokka]

You're not meant to take it orally LT. :joker:

:laugh2:

[kirklancaster]

Lipstick.

[kirklancaster]

Is it deodarant Eoin?

[Iceman]

Nope. You can get pictures and words on them too!!

[kirklancaster]

Nope. You can get pictures and words on them too!!

Christmas Cakes?

[hijaxers]

i know its newberry fruits

[hijaxers]

You're not meant to take it orally LT. :joker:

No it'll make yer tongue shrink - and we wouldn't want that would we :joker:

[hijaxers]

Crackers

[bots]

A selection box!

[Iceman]

Nope lol.

They smell lovely too.

I'm running out of less obvious clues lol

[hijaxers]

Nope lol.

They smell lovely too.

I'm running out of less obvious clues lol

Ok candles

[Iceman]

Ok candles

Well done :worship:

[kirklancaster]

No it'll make yer tongue shrink - and we wouldn't want that would we :joker:

:laugh: Imagine LT SILENCED Jax - Unthinkable. :laugh:

[kirklancaster]

Well done :worship:

Wow Eoin - That was a brilliantly difficult stinker, but Soooooo obvious NOW :laugh:

:laugh:Well done Jax. YOUR turn to be Santa.

[hijaxers]

:laugh: Imagine LT SILENCED Jax - Unthinkable. :laugh:

:joker::joker::joker::joker::joker: its just not happening

[hijaxers]

Next...

1. You can make your own
2. It goes between your legs
3. It could be called ' a pad'

Prob way too easy

[kirklancaster]

Next...

1. You can make your own
2. It goes between your legs
3. It could be called ' a pad'

Prob way too easy

It sounds DISGUSTING :laugh:

No idea - yet.

[hijaxers]

It sounds DISGUSTING :laugh:

No idea - yet.

its actually very friendly and can be shared

[kirklancaster]

its actually very friendly and can be shared

A travel rug?

[hijaxers]

A travel rug?

No but it can travel with you
You can also buy them ready made but its more fun if you make it yourself

[Iceman]

A sleigh??

[hijaxers]

A sleigh??

No sorry

[Mokka]

A pillow??

[bots]

a donut ring?

[kirklancaster]

A 'Onesie'?

[hijaxers]

No all wrong sorry - think beats and whats also called 'a pad'

[kirklancaster]

No all wrong sorry - think beats and whats also called 'a pad'

Bongo Drum?

[hijaxers]

Bongo Drum?

Yes Kirk , actually a cajon drum and my daughters getting one on fri as part of her b'day prezzie, loves making things and music mad !

Your turn again then Kirk

[Kazanne]

Who is Tinsel toes

[hijaxers]

Who is Tinsel toes

I am hijaxers bit dim dunno how to put my name below

[kirklancaster]

Comes in many different choices
Sounds like it would have been popular with pirates.
But not with Doctors. :laugh:

This one's e-a-s-y. :laugh:

[Ashley.]

Eyepatch

[Ashley.]

Arrrrrrrmchair

[kirklancaster]

Eyepatch

:laugh: You are soooooo warm - on the right track Ash.

[hijaxers]

Dressing up outfit Kirk ?

[kirklancaster]

Dressing up outfit Kirk ?

No Jax. Sorry but you're cold :laugh:

[hijaxers]

How about a Neckerchief

[Kazanne]

I am hijaxers bit dim dunno how to put my name below

Oh,:laugh: hijaxers,stay incognito,it's safer sometimes

[kirklancaster]

How about a Neckerchief

Nope.

Here's a massive clue:

Why would this be unpopular with Doctors? What proverbially keeps the doctor away?

[Niamh.]

an apple

[hijaxers]

Oh,:laugh: hijaxers,stay incognito,it's safer sometimes

:joker::joker::joker:

[hijaxers]

an apple

Thats gotta be right - bit of a stingy prezzie though :joker:

[MTVN]

Why is an apple popular with pirates :think:

[bots]

a parrot a day keeps the doctor away

[Mokka]

Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum???

[Niamh.]

Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum???

a bottle of rum a day keeps the Doctor away :hee:

[Mokka]

a bottle of rum a day keeps the Doctor away :hee:

Popular with pirates but not with doctors is the clue Neeve....

You are going to be easier to beat in pub quiz than I thought :hehe:

[Niamh.]

:unsure: It was a joke

[Mokka]

:unsure: It was a joke
I was joking too lady

[Niamh.]

I was joking too lady

https://media.giphy.com/media/s5uIHJUlZNQFq/giphy.gif

[kirklancaster]

an apple

:laugh: You are SO close Niamh. You have solved clue 3
Adam was vey close to solving clue 2 with 'Eye PATCH' (need another name for 'Patch')
Now what popular gift incorporates the name 'Apple'? and sounds like 'EYE' xxx

Comes in many different choices
Sounds like it would have been popular with pirates.
But not with Doctors.

[Mokka]

:laugh: You are SO close Niamh. You have solved clue 3
Adam was vey close to solving clue 2 with 'Eye PATCH' (need another name for 'Patch')
Now what popular gift incorporates the name 'Apple'? and sounds like 'EYE' xxx

Comes in many different choices
Sounds like it would have been popular with pirates.
But not with Doctors.

Ipad

[hijaxers]

I Phone

[Niamh.]

Apple iPad

[kirklancaster]

Ipad

:laugh: You got it Mokka (after Niamh did all the hard work :laugh:)

Your turn babe.

[Mokka]

:laugh: You got it Mokka (after Niamh did all the hard work :laugh:)

Your turn babe.

Niamh can do it..
I was still sleeping during the process :hehe:

[Crimson Dynamo]

Niamh can do it..
I was still sleeping during the process :hehe:

isnt it ironic

[Niamh.]

Niamh can do it..
I was still sleeping during the process :hehe:

ugh I'm crap at these, I'll need a few minutes :laugh:

[Niamh.]

ok got one

1 - Sounds like a computer but it isn't
2 - It's not a horror movie but it's got some Gore
3 - It's near the bottom

[Iceman]

Orange

[kirklancaster]

Niamh can do it..
I was still sleeping during the process :hehe:

:laugh:

[Crimson Dynamo]

ok got one

1 - Sounds like a computer but it isn't
2 - It's not a horror movie but it's got some Gore
3 - It's near the bottom

Is it a blow up Lady C Doll?

[Niamh.]

Orange

Nope

[kirklancaster]

ok got one

1 - Sounds like a computer but it isn't
2 - It's not a horror movie but it's got some Gore
3 - It's near the bottom

This is gonna be HARD to solve - I knew it. :bawling:

I haven't a clue - yet.

[Niamh.]

Also the way I've done it, each clue relates to a certain part of the word/s

[Mokka]

isnt it ironic

It's like meeting the man of your dreams... then meeting his beautiful wife

(referring to Kirk obviously)

[kirklancaster]

Is it a blow up Lady C Doll?

:laugh:

[kirklancaster]

It's like meeting the man of your dreams... then meeting his beautiful wife

(referring to Kirk obviously)

Uh? My wife LOOKS like LT's blow up Lady C doll :laugh: (only joking sweetheart in case you look in :hehe:)

[bots]

ok got one

1 - Sounds like a computer but it isn't
2 - It's not a horror movie but it's got some Gore
3 - It's near the bottom

hmm i know ... its a pc-ore-floor .... easy :hee:

[Niamh.]

Uh? My wife LOOKS like LT's blow up Lady C doll :laugh: (only joking sweetheart in case you look in :hehe:)

If I was your wife and I read that I'd kick the **** out of you :hee:

[kirklancaster]

Also the way I've done it, each clue relates to a certain part of the word/s

Ah.

But I'm still wondering how Eoin got 'Orange' :laugh:

[Mokka]

If I was your wife and I read that I'd kick the **** out of you :hee:

cackling :hehe:

[kirklancaster]

If I was your wife and I read that I'd kick the **** out of you :hee:

:laugh: I don't doubt that for a minute Niamh. :laugh:

[Niamh.]

:hee:

[MTVN]

Ah.

But I'm still wondering how Eoin got 'Orange' :laugh:

I thought he might have had it: like an apple computer but isn't, it has the letters 'gore' in it and it might be at the bottom of a stocking

[Niamh.]

I thought he might have had it: like an apple computer but isn't, it has the letters 'gore' in it and it might be at the bottom of a stocking

Ohhh clever, not right though

[Niamh.]

Damn did I make it too hard?

Ok the first clue is for the first word and the second and third clues is the second word broken into 2. Don't know if that will help much :laugh:

[kirklancaster]

ok got one

1 - Sounds like a computer but it isn't
2 - It's not a horror movie but it's got some Gore
3 - It's near the bottom

Is it the pc/ X-Box game 'Halo' Niamh or am I overthinking this?

HAL is the computer from 2001 A Space Oddyssey

(HA)LO sounds like 'Low' which is near the bottom.

Halo has gore in it but is not an horror film.

[Iceman]

I thought he might have had it: like an apple computer but isn't, it has the letters 'gore' in it and it might be at the bottom of a stocking

Yeah that's how I got there.

[Niamh.]

Is it the pc/ X-Box game 'Halo' Niamh or am I overthinking this?

HAL is the computer from 2001 A Space Oddyssey

(HA)LO sounds like 'Low' which is near the bottom.

Halo has gore in it but is not an horror film.

Nope sorry

[Iceman]

Damn did I make it too hard?

Ok the first clue is for the first word and the second and third clues is the second word broken into 2. Don't know if that will help much :laugh:

Mac make up lol

[Niamh.]

Mac make up lol

Oh your answers are very smart Eoin, not right though I'm afraid

[Iceman]

:/

[Niamh.]

let me know if you want another clue

[MTVN]

More clues

[kirklancaster]

Nope sorry

:rant: I knew it was gonna be a stinker.

[Mokka]

Hello by Adele??

Hell - low... idk :worry:

[Niamh.]

Ohhhhh Mokka you're really close, almost there

[Niamh.]

But not in the way you've reasoned it :laugh:

[Iceman]

Adele- 25

[Mokka]

yep... see it now

[Iceman]

Adele skyfall

[Mokka]

dell computers

[kirklancaster]

Adele skyfall

It's surely got to be this.

[Niamh.]

Nooooo halfway there

[Niamh.]

ok clue 2 think of a person

[Iceman]

Adele - Hello

[Niamh.]

No lol

[Iceman]

No idea haha

[Niamh.]

omg :laugh: clue 2 - think of a name
clue 3 - it's another word for bottom

[kirklancaster]

No idea haha

:laugh: That makes two of us. :blush:

[Mokka]

Adele Album

Dell computer
Al Gore
Bum = bottom

[MTVN]

Ahh

[Iceman]

Adele Album

Dell computer
Al Gore
Bum = bottom

Well done. That has to be it.

[kirklancaster]

I thought he might have had it: like an apple computer but isn't, it has the letters 'gore' in it and it might be at the bottom of a stocking

OMG - I've ONLY just tumbled about the 'Gore' bit which was still throwing me -- ORanGE.

Duh to Kirk. :laugh:

Clever Eoin. (and you Matt)

[Niamh.]

Adele Album

Dell computer
Al Gore
Bum = bottom

:clap2:

[bots]

Adele Album

Dell computer
Al Gore
Bum = bottom

wow ... well done

[kirklancaster]

Adele Album

Dell computer
Al Gore
Bum = bottom

:clap1::clap1::clap1: Not just a pretty face uh Mokka?

[kirklancaster]

:clap2:

Not bad for someone who is "crap at this" Niamh. :laugh:

[Mokka]

ok... thinking of what to do next... give me a minute to come up with clues as cleaver as all of yours

[Mokka]

1. something to wear...
2. at the right size...
3. at the right amount

I hope it isn't to easy :worry:

[Niamh.]

Onesie?

[Mokka]

Onesie?

no

[kirklancaster]

A pound shop engagement ring? :hehe:

[Niamh.]

A Pair of tights

[Mokka]

nope
nope

[bots]

a 36 double D bra

[kirklancaster]

a 36 double D bra

:laugh:

[Niamh.]

More clues!

[kirklancaster]

Shrink-To-Fit Jeans?

[Mokka]

a 36 double D bra

:hehe:

no

[Mokka]

More clues!

already ...

it's like Santa :hehe:

[Niamh.]

A packet of extra large condoms? :unsure:

[Mokka]

A packet of extra large condoms? :unsure:

what version of Santa have you met :hehe:

[bots]

A packet of extra large condoms? :unsure:

how is Santa like a packet of extra large condoms ?:joker:

[Niamh.]

what version of Santa have you met :hehe:

he comes once a year was my reasoning :fan:

[Mokka]

he comes once a year was my reasoning :fan:

you cheeky thing :joker::joker::joker:

[bots]

a hat

[Mokka]

nope

It's like santa... in that, it see's you when you're sleeping

[Niamh.]

a stalker?

[Niamh.]

a pair of Pyjamas

[MTVN]

Pyjamas

[Mokka]

nope

[bots]

night vision goggles

[Mokka]

nope

it knows when you're awake

[Iceman]

Rudolph the sex mad reindeer??

[Mokka]

If you would all get your minds outta da gutter :fist:

:joker:

It knows if you've been bad or good

[Niamh.]

I have absolutely no idea :laugh:

[MTVN]

A wife

[Niamh.]

:laugh2:

Something you wear Matthew?

http://i.imgur.com/gaHSK0A.gif

[Niamh.]

a heart monitor

[Niamh.]

a lie detector tester

[Denver]

Your parents

[kirklancaster]

A packet of extra large condoms? :unsure:

:laugh: :laugh:A dodgy Santa.

[Mokka]

1. something to wear...
2. at the right size...
3. at the right amount




it's like Santa :hehe:

nope

It's like santa... in that, it see's you when you're sleeping

nope

it knows when you're awake


It knows if you've been bad or good

clues so far

a heart monitor

getting warmer-ish

[kirklancaster]

A wife

Mokka - It's like Santa.

Matt - A wife

So your idea of a wife is some stout lady with a big belly, long white hair and a beard Matt? :laugh::laugh::laugh:

[kirklancaster]

clues so far



getting warmer-ish

?????? I am clueless Mokka.

[Niamh.]

clues so far



getting warmer-ish

A Dialysis machine

[kirklancaster]

A Dialysis machine

:laugh: Enough my sides are splitting. I got an image of a gift wrapped dialysis machine under the tree.

[Johnnyuk123]

A Dildo.:hehe:

[Niamh.]

:laugh: Enough my sides are splitting. I got an image of a gift wrapped dialysis machine under the tree.

That was actually a serious guess :nono:

[Mokka]

:laugh: Enough my sides are splitting. I got an image of a gift wrapped dialysis machine under the tree.

me too!!! :laugh2:

[Mokka]

the original clues, #2, and #3 were specific to the name of the item

the rest of the clues speak to it's characteristics

[Niamh.]

A CCTV camera

[Mokka]

no

[Niamh.]

a gastric band

[MTVN]

A watch? :shrug:

[Niamh.]

oh one of those things that counts your steps?

[Niamh.]

a pedometer

[Mokka]

A watch? :shrug:

a pedometer


warmer

[MTVN]

Alarm clock

[Niamh.]

weighing scales

[Mokka]

circling ... circling :hehe:

[kirklancaster]

A bio-rythm monitor thingy bob?

[Niamh.]

Oh I think I know what it is but I don't remember what they're called

[Mokka]

nope

[Niamh.]

Is it that thing Jay used to use when he was losing weight?

[Mokka]

Is it that thing Jay used to use when he was losing weight?

hot

[Niamh.]

I can't remember what it's called though :(

[Iceman]

A cross??

[Iceman]

Oh my page froze and this didn't load up the last few guesses lol