View Full Version : Once a cheater always a cheater.
LukeB
24-03-2016, 11:21 PM
Do you Agree with the statement?
Shaun
24-03-2016, 11:23 PM
Only in the sense that if I were cheated on by a person I'd never trust them not to do it again in future. I don't think I can agree with it as a sweeping statement though.
Jamie89
24-03-2016, 11:35 PM
No. I don't think cheating is a character trait, and everyone can make mistakes but it doesn't mean you'll make the same ones over and over again. It's probably true of some people for other reasons, such as them being selfish or uncaring or just generally not having respect for their relationships for whatever reason, but mostly I think people are allowed a mistake and are able to learn from it and not repeat it. (Depends on the circumstances of the affair as well, 'cheating' is a broad term but I think there's a big difference between say, a one night stand and a full blown relationship.)
LukeB
24-03-2016, 11:39 PM
I agree that people can mistakes, I've been cheated on before and he said it was a 'mistake' but the trust was broken and I didn't believe it fully. It just makes me think if someone who cheated before how do i know they won't do it again.
Jamie89
24-03-2016, 11:48 PM
I agree that people can mistakes, I've been cheated on before and he said it was a 'mistake' but the trust was broken and I didn't believe it fully. It just makes me think if someone who cheated before how do i know they won't do it again.
I know what you mean, and I've been cheated on too and it does make you lose trust in them. But objectively, a lot of people cheat once and then never do it again, or cheat in one relationship and then don't cheat at all in another, so I don't think it's something where someone is either a cheater or they aren't. It just depends on a lot of different things. And you get people who are faithful their whole lives and then decide to cheat on their partners after being together for decades, so you can never really be sure you won't be cheated on :(
Cherry Christmas
24-03-2016, 11:50 PM
Far too black and white a statement, anyone can make a mistake like a one night stand while under the influence or a short affair before they realise this is not what they want on the other hand some people just can't be faithful or true to one person but you have to look at it on a case by case basis not a blanket approach
LukeB
24-03-2016, 11:58 PM
I know what you mean, and I've been cheated on too and it does make you lose trust in them. But objectively, a lot of people cheat once and then never do it again, or cheat in one relationship and then don't cheat at all in another, so I don't think it's something where someone is either a cheater or they aren't. It just depends on a lot of different things. And you get people who are faithful their whole lives and then decide to cheat on their partners after being together for decades, so you can never really be sure you won't be cheated on :(
Good point, I voted yes but i'm like 50/50 because If i got into an relationship and found out the cheated I probs get scared and be stubborn about trusting them, But I guess it comes down to how many times they have done it , like if it was just once then it probs be okayish but twice or more I probs think different etc.
Marsh.
25-03-2016, 12:04 AM
I believe there are some people who are capable of change and growth and some people who aren't. You will find cheaters within both categories.
Ashsleigh
25-03-2016, 01:04 AM
I believe there are some people who are capable of change and growth and some people who aren't. You will find cheaters within both categories.
.
Merry Mockmas
25-03-2016, 01:34 AM
Well you can't change your species can you?
Amy Jade
25-03-2016, 07:49 AM
I'd personally never forgive a guy for cheating on me, my ex did and I was devestated but in all honesty after we spoke about it I don't think he would have again so I fall between yes/no
No, but I wouldn't get back with someone who cheated me
Dominic
25-03-2016, 08:34 AM
No, but I wouldn't get back with someone who cheated me
2
jennyjuniper
25-03-2016, 11:17 AM
I would say yes, but amend it to 'yes, if you allow thenm to get away with it'.
smudgie
25-03-2016, 11:50 AM
Depends.
You can play around when you are younger, sort of finding your feet, just enjoying life and its pleasures in general. But once you meet the right one you can commit fôr life and never stráy.
Nicky91
25-03-2016, 11:54 AM
I'd personally never forgive a guy for cheating on me, my ex did and I was devestated but in all honesty after we spoke about it I don't think he would have again so I fall between yes/no
how can someone cheat on you, Princess :)
Christmas Dynasnow
25-03-2016, 11:55 AM
I voted Yes but meant no
Ninastar
25-03-2016, 02:02 PM
Yeah I think so. Cheating is one of the worst things you could ever do to someone.
Lostie!
25-03-2016, 02:08 PM
Nah I don't agree. It's like the phrase "a leopard never changes it's spots", as others have said that's a too narrow, black and white way of looking at it. Someone can absolutely make a mistake once and not do it again. There are some compulsive cheaters who just lack an ability to commit to someone but they're not representative of everyone who's ever been unfaithful.
I'd find it hard to continue a relationship with someone who cheated on me but not because I assumed they'd do it again, but because it's the ultimate betrayal of trust and I'd have no interest in being with someone who ever felt the need to stray (even if I felt confident they wouldn't do it again).
Tom4784
25-03-2016, 02:18 PM
It's not a black and white situation.
Jason.
25-03-2016, 02:27 PM
Nah I don't agree. It's like the phrase "a leopard never changes it's spots", as others have said that's a too narrow, black and white way of looking at it. Someone can absolutely make a mistake once and not do it again. There are some compulsive cheaters who just lack an ability to commit to someone but they're not representative of everyone who's ever been unfaithful.
I'd find it hard to continue a relationship with someone who cheated on me but not because I assumed they'd do it again, but because it's the ultimate betrayal of trust and I'd have no interest in being with someone who ever felt the need to stray (even if I felt confident they wouldn't do it again).
[2].
billy123
25-03-2016, 04:03 PM
I believe there are some people who are capable of change and growth and some people who aren't. You will find cheaters within both categories.
:joker:
Christmas Dynasnow
25-03-2016, 04:14 PM
of course there is a mountain of diff in cheating on a person before you are married, married, married with kids etc
its all cheating yes but you have to factor in circumstances
bob and sue are 20 and have been dating 6 months
Bob abd sue are 23 have been married 6 months
bob and sue 30 married 7 years and have twin girls age 2
bob and sue 45 married 22 years with 3 kids 2 teenagers
etc
Hmm I don't think you can apply a blanket statement like that to all cheaters.
I would never trust one again though and since trust is one of the most important things in a relationship then for me the relationship would be over.
Marsh.
25-03-2016, 06:06 PM
:joker:
:worry:
Jack.
27-03-2016, 10:52 PM
Yes I do agree with the statement, I see people have put oh people can easily make mistakes, yeah but what's stopping that person who's made the mistake once of not going out the next week and sleeping with another woman. Like you have the single women going with married men and then the bloke leaving the wife to go with woman. If you were that woman that he's been having an affair with would you just been fine with him when he's around other women. The answer is no because if you know that person is a cheat trust in the relationship is lost forever.
Dollface
27-03-2016, 10:54 PM
Personally I wouldn't forgive a cheater, but I do think people can change
Jack.
27-03-2016, 10:56 PM
Personally I wouldn't forgive a cheater, but I do think people can change
Yeah people can change but not all do. Like if I had a girlfriend I would never in a million years ever consider cheating tbh.
Dollface
27-03-2016, 11:00 PM
Yeah people can change but not all do. Like if I had a girlfriend I would never in a million years ever consider cheating tbh.
this is totally off topic but i just looked at your profile and your birthday is 1 day after mine :amazed:
Marsh.
27-03-2016, 11:36 PM
Yes I do agree with the statement, I see people have put oh people can easily make mistakes, yeah but what's stopping that person who's made the mistake once of not going out the next week and sleeping with another woman. Like you have the single women going with married men and then the bloke leaving the wife to go with woman. If you were that woman that he's been having an affair with would you just been fine with him when he's around other women. The answer is no because if you know that person is a cheat trust in the relationship is lost forever.
If you're that woman he was having an affair with, then you don't have many morals of your own. So there is no trust either way.
..it's obviously not a black and white thing and every situation is different but I'd probably say as a general thing that 'once a cheater', shouldn't really be labelled as a cheater as such.../that label for me would more apply to a serial cheater...
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