A 14 year old has a crush on an adult and then?

[Mystic Mock]

The adult who's say 22 years old gives the 14 year old a kiss on the cheek to boost their confidence, should this be classed as a form of grooming or not? Because the 22 year old would know about the 14 year old having a crush on them and it could be seen as encouraging the crush, but obviously they've not had sex with the 14 year old either so it's a bit tricky I think.

I know it's a weird thread, I was just interested to get people's responses to this as it happens more often than people realise and I don't know how people feel about it in general.

[T*]

[emoji102]
I guess it's wrong tho

[Jamie89]

The adult who's say 22 years old gives the 14 year old a kiss on the cheek to boost their confidence, should this be classed as a form of grooming or not? Because the 22 year old would know about the 14 year old having a crush on them and it could be seen as encouraging the crush, but obviously they've not had sex with the 14 year old either so it's a bit tricky I think.

I know it's a weird thread, I was just interested to get people's responses to this as it happens more often than people realise and I don't know how people feel about it in general.

To boost their confidence how? Sexually? It just strikes me as a very weird scenario. It's basically an adult teasing a child in a semi sexual way (I know kissing on the cheek isn't technically sexual but to a 14 year old it could be perceived as being far more intimate/meaningful than an adult would perceive it). I don't know whether it would be classed as 'grooming' but it's certainly wrong as it's encouraging them and you'd have to wonder why the adult in that situation would want to do that.

[Jordan.]

Yeah this is creepy af, an adult shouldn't kiss a child unless they're family.

I wouldn't think it happens often either :suspect:

[user104658]

I wouldn't say it's ideal but realistically, it's probably not harmful either.

[user104658]

Oh and I would also point out, if it was a female in her 20's (say a pop star or other celebrity) and a 14 year old boy, no one would find it creepy / grooming at all... E.g. Cheryl Cole on her first stint on the x factor was always "joke flirting" with the teenage boys, all encouraged by the other panel members, etc.

[Crimson Dynamo]

Mock I presume they are brother and sister?

[Cherie]

Mock the 22 year old has good intentions ie boosting confidence ..that said the 22 year old knows the 14 year old has a crush on them so should keep a distance physically, a peck on the cheek is probably okayish as long as the 14 year old doesn't get the wrong idea and it's not a regular thing

[Mystic Mock]

Mock I presume they are brother and sister?

Nope I was thinking of two friends.

[joeysteele]

If the older person knows the younger one and underage person has a crush on them, then they would be well advised to not make any physical contact.

Even as with Teachers now, if a child is in distress, it could be construed badly if they hug them or sit any length of time with their arms round them..

The sad thing is in your scenario, no I would not call that grooming or even inappropriate,however it could be taken the wrong way by someone who has a crush on the older person and taken as an invite to maybe pursue more.

Best to avoid any physical contact nowadays as trouble can be a very short way off even in the most innocent scenarios if more is looked for, either by the older person or the younger.

For me in your scenario,I see nothing really wrong as to a kiss on the cheek as to encouragement myself but I can see how things could get difficult because one has a crush on the other.

It is unfortunate that someone 22 to someone 14 would seem really wrong as to any physical contact, yet 28 to 20,no one would bat eyelid.
If it was no more than a general hug or kiss on the cheek,I see nothing wrong at all as to that myself.
However I also myself would avoid absolutely no question, ever doing more than just maybe shaking hands with someone under 16.

[Marsh.]

Jesus H Christ!

[Shaun]

Oh and I would also point out, if it was a female in her 20's (say a pop star or other celebrity) and a 14 year old boy, no one would find it creepy / grooming at all... E.g. Cheryl Cole on her first stint on the x factor was always "joke flirting" with the teenage boys, all encouraged by the other panel members, etc.

And now she's dating one of them, so maybe she isn't the best example of a non-creep :laugh:

[Kizzy]

And now she's dating one of them, so maybe she isn't the best example of a non-creep :laugh:

:joker::joker:
Personally I wouldn't even give the peck on the cheek it could build the hopes of the teen that there is some reciprocation. It would also sound bad to the parents should they ask 'has he kissed you'? to which the answer is yes, however innocent it was.

[user104658]

And now she's dating one of them, so maybe she isn't the best example of a non-creep [emoji23]
That's true. Cheryl tweedy, Cheryl Cole, Cheryl Fernandez-Versini... ... Cheryl Saville.

[DemolitionRed]

It depends...if this person pecks everyone on the cheek as a greeting, then leaving this one person out would appear to be disregarding that person.

[Nedusa]

The adult who's say 22 years old gives the 14 year old a kiss on the cheek to boost their confidence, should this be classed as a form of grooming or not? Because the 22 year old would know about the 14 year old having a crush on them and it could be seen as encouraging the crush, but obviously they've not had sex with the 14 year old either so it's a bit tricky I think.

I know it's a weird thread, I was just interested to get people's responses to this as it happens more often than people realise and I don't know how people feel about it in general.

This person has acted inappropriately and should be warned by the school that this behaviour will not be tolerated in future.

That's all that is required on this occasion, no more serious action is necessary . Over reacting by suspending the teacher or holding an enquiry is a knee jerk reaction to what might have been an innocent mistake.

[Cherie]

It depends...if this person pecks everyone on the cheek as a greeting, then leaving this one person out would appear to be disregarding that person.

True

This person has acted inappropriately and should be warned by the school that this behaviour will not be tolerated in future.

That's all that is required on this occasion, no more serious action is necessary . Over reacting by suspending the teacher or holding an enquiry is a knee jerk reaction to what might have been an innocent mistake.


:oh: I don't think any teachers were harmed in this scenario

[arista]

The adult who's say 22 years old gives the 14 year old a kiss on the cheek to boost their confidence, should this be classed as a form of grooming or not? Because the 22 year old would know about the 14 year old having a crush on them and it could be seen as encouraging the crush, but obviously they've not had sex with the 14 year old either so it's a bit tricky I think.

I know it's a weird thread, I was just interested to get people's responses to this as it happens more often than people realise and I don't know how people feel about it in general.



No a Kiss like that will Hook the young lad.
Out of order Bitch


Suspend Her


You Must Draw a Line on this


So many young women teachers
have had sex with 14 - 15 year old boys (UK and USA)
and unlike a Male teachers
Get away with it

[Cherie]

I'm confused :worry:

[DemolitionRed]

I'm confused :worry:

Me too! Are we now saying this is a teacher kissing a student :conf:

[Kizzy]

Scenario to victim blaming in under 20 posts.. that's got to be a tibb record?

[arista]

I'm confused :worry:


It start with a kiss on the cheek
then it goes further

Thats all we are talking about
Lady Cherie

[DemolitionRed]

It start with a kiss on the cheek
then it goes further

Thats all we are talking about
Lady Cherie

MM was talking about a friend, not a teacher.

[arista]

MM was talking about a friend, not a teacher.


OK DR


the same applys
If the young woman takes it further
than just the kiss
then its illegal.


Sorry for my attack on teacher women

[AnnieK]

It's a fine line I guess, a kiss on the cheek is harmless and could be a confidence booster but some 14 year olds may read more into it than was intended? I feel it's quite sad though that a harmless kiss from an adult has to be scrutinised now and everything that comes out of someone's mouth can be read wrongly and become a big issue

[joeysteele]

It's a fine line I guess, a kiss on the cheek is harmless and could be a confidence booster but some 14 year olds may read more into it than was intended? I feel it's quite sad though that a harmless kiss from an adult has to be scrutinised now and everything that comes out of someone's mouth can be read wrongly and become a big issue

100% agree,sums it up perfectly AnnieK.

[Nedusa]

Actually, I think it was me who turned this hypothetical scenario into a real news item...

Sorry bout that...

[arista]

Jesus H Christ!


Sadly he left
What a guy

[Ithinkiloveyoutoo]

No this is not grooming I don't think because ideally it doesn't go further than that and the adult doesn't encourage them in any way. Girls will have crushes when they're young but if you raised your children right they know that a sweet kiss on the cheek is nothing more. I had crushes on older guys all the time as a young lady but I knew that they were just crushes and not to go beyond that and if the adult in question did kiss me on the cheek it was just a cute greeting like a kiss on the cheek my mum, or dad or relative would give on the cheek not an invitation to do more things.

[lostalex]

If it were a 14 boy and a gay 22 man you know people would lose their minds. if it were a 14 boy and a 22 woman no one would care.

[arista]

If it were a 14 boy and a gay 22 man you know people would lose their minds. if it were a 14 boy and a 22 woman no one would care.


Thats Because
so many Hate Gays

It never changes

[Ammi]

The adult who's say 22 years old gives the 14 year old a kiss on the cheek to boost their confidence, should this be classed as a form of grooming or not? Because the 22 year old would know about the 14 year old having a crush on them and it could be seen as encouraging the crush, but obviously they've not had sex with the 14 year old either so it's a bit tricky I think.

I know it's a weird thread, I was just interested to get people's responses to this as it happens more often than people realise and I don't know how people feel about it in general.

....hmmm, it wouldn't feel ok for me personally Mock but that is just more a personal thing than a generalisation...obviously I wasn't 22yrs old when my sons were 14yrs old and their 14yr old friends were always at our house all of the time but I would never have felt that it was ok to kiss one of them on the cheek as a 'confidence boosting' thing...I have a different perspective though as a mum and also through working with children ..I do know that confidence boosting/raising self-esteem and self-belief etc are important but for me, not in a way that would involve any physical contact at all...especially I think if the older person is aware that the 14yr old does have a crush on them etc...