How do you ask your partner for a pre-nuptual ?

[the truth]

without making it sound like you dont trust them???

[Northern Monkey]

Say,Bitch you already stole my **** once and put it in lockup.Pre-nup or no-nup!

[Cherie]

Say,Bitch you already stole my **** once and put it in lockup.Pre-nup or no-nup!

:joker:

[Cherie]

Darling I have way more to lose than you if this goes belly up so sign on the dotted line, don't expect conjugals for a while though :hee:

[LukeB]

Trick them into signing something :fan:

[Northern Monkey]

And if she tries to withdraw 'conjugals' then best thing to do is just watch porn on your phone in bed next to her.She'll soon get jelly and suck your dick.

[Cherie]

And if she tries to withdraw 'conjugals' then best thing to do is just watch porn on your phone in bed next to her.She'll soon get jelly and suck your dick.

:joker:


Lock her in a room, slide it under the door, and don't let her out until it's signed?

[Northern Monkey]

:joker:


Lock her in a room, slide it under the door, and don't let her out until it's signed?

:nono:I think that's abit extreme

Kidnapping laws might get in the way:laugh:

[Withano]

Probably would hold the wedding off a year or two before I considered a prenup tbh.

[the truth]

shes not happy ....she says I dont trust her and would I be doing 50% of the housework...Ill be doing 100% of paying the bills I know that for sure

[Cherie]

:nono:I think that's abit extreme

Kidnapping laws might get in the way:laugh:

I actually don't know how you could broach that with someone you are planning on spending your life with, it's just a bit of a weird thing to be thinking about, practical but weird, just don't marry might be the best course of action ?

[Cherie]

shes not happy ....she says I dont trust her and would I be doing 50% of the housework...Ill be doing 100% of paying the bills I know that for sure

Why do you need to marry, just live together see how you get on ? Why wouldn't she contribute to the bills? No job?

[Northern Monkey]

I actually don't know how you could broach that with someone you are planning on spending your life with, it's just a bit of a weird thing to be thinking about, practical but weird, just don't marry might be the best course of action ?

Definitely.If those kind of doubts are there then i think it's best to probably remain as friends with benefits(not on benefits:laugh: )

[thesheriff443]

Just stick to wanking. Truth with your attitude towards women it ain't gonna work.

[Northern Monkey]

shes not happy ....she says I dont trust her and would I be doing 50% of the housework...Ill be doing 100% of paying the bills I know that for sure

How long have you been together?I don't know but i'd be a little suspicious if she's in a big rush to get hitched after pulling stunts on you previously.You don't wanna do anything that you'll regret financially for a long time and end up getting bitter and going all MGTOW.

[Withano]

Just stick to wanking. Truth with your attitude towards women it ain't gonna work.

Good point.
Does the woman know your views on feminism/meninism or are you way less vocal about the subject outside of the forum?
A money earning meninist wanted a prenup with an unemployed woman sounds like a bizarre matchup.
I think you should hold off marriage for a little while

[Niamh.]

shes not happy ....she says I dont trust her and would I be doing 50% of the housework...Ill be doing 100% of paying the bills I know that for sure
Is this still the same woman who robbed all your stuff a few weeks back? If yes say "Honey, you robbed all my stuff a few weeks back so you're right I don't trust you" and if it isnt her say "Honey we barely know eachother so you're right I dont trust you" Simples

[DemolitionRed]

Ask her and if she says no don't trust her. Without it, put nothing in joint names but most importantly, don't let her contribute towards the mortgage. Stay safe and that includes not getting screwed over.

[Niamh.]

Ask her and if she says no don't trust her. Without it, put nothing in joint names but most importantly, don't let her contribute towards the mortgage. Stay safe and that includes not getting screwed over.
It doesnt matter whats in joint names or if she pays towards the mortgage, if they're married she'd still get half

[Cherie]

It doesnt matter whats in joint names or if she pays towards the mortgage, if they're married she'd still get half

Precisely

[the truth]

Precisely

according to my solicitor , not if we buy a house and get a contract for shared ownership , the contract could apportion her 30% me 70% as thats what wed be paying in each

The solicitor says its water tight, Ill be paying most bills, she may chip in towards the shopping and shes a better cook too.

I just dont want to buy a house, spend £170,000 on a £230,000 house then 6 months later she may say, its over I want half. call me tight but why should I waste £55,000 ?

[ebandit]

........if your partner truly loved ya...........they would not care about the $

Mark L

[smudgie]

according to my solicitor , not if we buy a house and get a contract for shared ownership , the contract could apportion her 30% me 70% as thats what wed be paying in each

The solicitor says its water tight, Ill be paying most bills, she may chip in towards the shopping and shes a better cook too.

I just dont want to buy a house, spend £170,000 on a £230,000 house then 6 months later she may say, its over I want half. call me tight but why should I waste £55,000 ?

No point in a pre- nup.
Making it shared ownership and getting a contract sounds fair to me, you both get out what you put into it.
The trust issues would worry me more if I am honest.
Good luck with it, the love of a good woman will do you the world of good.

[Cherie]

according to my solicitor , not if we buy a house and get a contract for shared ownership , the contract could apportion her 30% me 70% as thats what wed be paying in each

The solicitor says its water tight, Ill be paying most bills, she may chip in towards the shopping and shes a better cook too.

I just dont want to buy a house, spend £170,000 on a £230,000 house then 6 months later she may say, its over I want half. call me tight but why should I waste £55,000 ?

You moved the goalposts, a few weeks back you said you decided not to buy, you asked about a prenup so that is the slant of the answers you got, what do you need a prenup for if you have a contract with a solicitor already agreed, no one wants you to lose your damn money, not one single response has encouraged you to go ahead so where you got the idea that people want you to lose money is anyone guess :nono:

[Toy Soldier]

I'm not sure you can legally marry your imaginary girlfriend, Truth :think:.

[Cherie]

I'm not sure you can legally marry your imaginary girlfriend, Truth :think:.

Do you know what I was just about to post that it's all a fantasy..high fives TS

[the truth]

Do you know what I was just about to post that it's all a fantasy..high fives TS

yea but she still wants half the house

[Withano]

If I loved somebody, I'd be fine with sharing everything I have with them, if I believe that they loved me, I'd be fine with them having that.
It sounds to me that you either don't love her, or dont trust her to love you. So in summary, you just are moving too fast.

[jaxie]

Tell her it's the modern way and as a dynamic couple a pre up is essential in case you end up like Brangelina.

[the truth]

my apologies this isnt a pre nup this is a contract to share the house we buy

[the truth]

If I loved somebody, I'd be fine with sharing everything I have with them, if I believe that they loved me, I'd be fine with them having that.
It sounds to me that you either don't love her, or dont trust her to love you. So in summary, you just are moving too fast.

hmmm maybe too fast

[thesheriff443]

yea but she still wants half the house

Half of nothing, is nothing!

Your username is the truth!, you will be called another name if you keep making threads like this one.

[Brother Leon]

https://az616578.vo.msecnd.net/files/2015/08/10/635748295838938742-144207839_tumblr_md1c146XVf1rz7oed.gif

[jennyjuniper]

without making it sound like you dont trust them???

Say that you have been burned in the past and that is why you want a pre-nup. If they refuse don't marry them!! You say it makes it sound as if you don't trust them, but you don't do you? Rightle so I might add. People can be devious and when the chips are down they can be downright malicious. So if you have any assets worth protecting, then do so.:wavey:

[jennyjuniper]

shes not happy ....she says I dont trust her and would I be doing 50% of the housework...Ill be doing 100% of paying the bills I know that for sure

I have to ask Truth...WHY ARE YOU MARRYING HER?:conf: It certainly doesn't sound like a match made in heaven from this end anyway. If it's the same woman who ripped you off before, donm't marry her, don't buy a house with her and never leave your valuables laying around. Good Luck, because it sounds as though you are going to need it.:shrug:

[jennyjuniper]

according to my solicitor , not if we buy a house and get a contract for shared ownership , the contract could apportion her 30% me 70% as thats what wed be paying in each

The solicitor says its water tight, Ill be paying most bills, she may chip in towards the shopping and shes a better cook too.

I just dont want to buy a house, spend £170,000 on a £230,000 house then 6 months later she may say, its over I want half. call me tight but why should I waste £55,000 ?

If you have a scenerio in your head where six months down the line it's over, then DON'T DO IT.

[the truth]

Half of nothing, is nothing!

Your username is the truth!, you will be called another name if you keep making threads like this one.

this is the truth

[Toy Soldier]

this is the truth

So... you just by complete coincidence, happened to meet and get involved with a woman who matches 100% of the bizarre and unrealistic preconceptions you have about women in general? There are only two realistic explanations here. Either you specifically sought out a woman like this in an extraordinary act of confirmation bias / self harm... OR you have invented a caricature of a woman based on your skewed perception of females.

I strongly suspect it's the latter. If it's the former, my advice is... stop allowing yourself to be abused and find a partner who loves you and who you love.

[the truth]

So... you just by complete coincidence, happened to meet and get involved with a woman who matches 100% of the bizarre and unrealistic preconceptions you have about women in general? There are only two realistic explanations here. Either you specifically sought out a woman like this in an extraordinary act of confirmation bias / self harm... OR you have invented a caricature of a woman based on your skewed perception of females.

I strongly suspect it's the latter. If it's the former, my advice is... stop allowing yourself to be abused and find a partner who loves you and who you love.

Ive no idea what youre on about, this is whats happenning and this is the situation, if you choose to believe its all make believe good for you

as for everyone else, thanks for your constructive replies, tricky situation not sure what to do next tbh...blinking gorgous girl with some redeeming qualities despite the obvious drawbacks

[Beso]

Just say if you want to spend all my money over our lifetime then sign this.

[Toy Soldier]

Ive no idea what youre on about, this is whats happenning and this is the situation, if you choose to believe its all make believe good for you

as for everyone else, thanks for your constructive replies, tricky situation not sure what to do next tbh...blinking gorgous girl with some redeeming qualities despite the obvious drawbacks

If this is real then you have some deeply unhealthy personal relationship issues and you need to get away from her permanently, and not consider entering into anything more than a very casual relationship with anyone until you have sorted through those issues.

I don't know what else to say on this one.

This is not usual. This is not what normal relationships look like. Maybe you really do think that this is what all women are like and so it's just something you have to work around? It's just NOT the truth, though. I get what your saying, she a hottie, she got dat gud gud, you don't want to give that up but... I personally say run and don't look back. You will meet someone eventually who you actually trust, and none of this will even be a consideration.

[smudgie]

Putting it bluntly, you would be better off keeping her as a sort of friends with benefits, maybe a weekend shag etc.

[Cherie]

If this is real then you have some deeply unhealthy personal relationship issues and you need to get away from her permanently, and not consider entering into anything more than a very casual relationship with anyone until you have sorted through those issues.

I don't know what else to say on this one.

This is not usual. This is not what normal relationships look like. Maybe you really do think that this is what all women are like and so it's just something you have to work around? It's just NOT the truth, though. I get what your saying, she a hottie, she got dat gud gud, you don't want to give that up but... I personally say run and don't look back. You will meet someone eventually who you actually trust, and none of this will even be a consideration.

Putting it bluntly, you would be better off keeping her as a sort of friends with benefits, maybe a weekend shag etc.

:joker:, made me laugh, its all good advice truth, it's easy for us as we are not emotionally involved but I don't see what the rush is to get married, you got the housing thing covered by your solicitor, slow down don't be railroaded into a wedding when you are unsure of her long term intentions

[Shaun]

the truth is ruining the sanctity of marriage

[Toy Soldier]

:joker:, made me laugh, its all good advice truth, it's easy for us as we are not emotionally involved but I don't see what the rush is to get married, you got the housing thing covered by your solicitor, slow down don't be railroaded into a wedding when you are unsure of her long term intentions
I think he clarified earlier that he's not actually thinking of marriage and its more about some sort of signed agreement when they move in together... But my opinion remains the same! If you have this level of distrust then it's time to slam on the breaks, hard. Either he has strange ideas about her intentions that aren't true, which would be a big problem... OR he is right to be wary of her and it's all accurate which is an even bigger problem.

[the truth]

I'm not sure you can legally marry your imaginary girlfriend, Truth :think:.

so whats your answer toy soldier? do you know of anyone who has done this

[Toy Soldier]

so whats your answer toy soldier? do you know of anyone who has done this

I know of plenty of people who have done it. I don't personally know anyone who has. To be blunt... I simply can't think of anyone I know who would get so deeply involved with someone they didn't trust :umm2:. It's a terrible idea.

[the truth]

I know of plenty of people who have done it. I don't personally know anyone who has. To be blunt... I simply can't think of anyone I know who would get so deeply involved with someone they didn't trust :umm2:. It's a terrible idea.

what happened

[Josy]

A marriage without trust isn't going to work, don't waste your time and hers with attempting it.

[waterhog]

without making it sound like you dont trust them???

I would do a poem to my partner :laugh:

you can have all of my wealth
its only right we have a pre-nuptial
being with me is destroying your health
this is evidence that's not circumstantial.
and when I inherit
I will move to the village peak
sitting pretty at the top is the merit
our awful marriage will be my bitter leak.

:joker::joker::joker::joker::joker::joker::joker:: joker::joker::joker:

[Niamh.]

A marriage without trust isn't going to work, don't waste your time and hers with attempting it.
This really, I cant see this being an issue for anyone other than celebs or multi millionaires anyway

[Toy Soldier]

This really, I cant see this being an issue for anyone other than celebs or multi millionaires anyway

But that applies to Truth of course.

[Marsh.]

Oh are we still actually playing along with this fiction?

She s demanding half of everything before they've even got married. Ok.

[Marsh.]

What next? His fiance just happens to be Germaine Greer?

[Toy Soldier]

Oh are we still actually playing along with this fiction?

She s demanding half of everything before they've even got married. Ok.

Shhhhhhh it's harmless fun. Unless there actually is a literal woman. In which case it's probably a case of psychological abuse. But... shh anyway.

[Cal.]

If you have to go and see solicitors behind her back and stuff you shouldn't be with her!

[the truth]

Shhhhhhh it's harmless fun. Unless there actually is a literal woman. In which case it's probably a case of psychological abuse. But... shh anyway.

cheers for the mockery she wants to go 50 /50 on the deeds of the house we're buying, I dont. I rather buy it alone but she wants security as shes moving down from england and leaving her job etc

[Toy Soldier]

cheers for the mockery she wants to go 50 /50 on the deeds of the house we're buying, I dont. I rather buy it alone but she wants security as shes moving down from england and leaving her job etc

Either buy it 50/50, pay for it 50/50 and trust each other to share it 50/50... or don't buy a house together. Live separately or rent until you do trust each other.

That's the answer you keep getting when you ask this question on here... from everyone. It's not going to change no matter how many times you ask...

[DemolitionRed]

If you aren't married then I'd advise you to get something called a pre-purchase agreement. If the deposit is being paid by your parents or her parents its going to get halved down the middle if you don't have a ppa. Remember though, your lender will have to agree to this or you could end up in deep water when/if it all goes pete-tongue.

This is an appropriate site to have a look at https://andersonstrathern.co.uk/news-insight/buying-a-house-together-do-i-need-a-pre-purchase-agreement/

[the truth]

Either buy it 50/50, pay for it 50/50 and trust each other to share it 50/50... or don't buy a house together. Live separately or rent until you do trust each other.

That's the answer you keep getting when you ask this question on here... from everyone. It's not going to change no matter how many times you ask...

Thats not the only answer Ive had. what about 60/40 on the deeds have you known people who have done that

[the truth]

If you aren't married then I'd advise you to get something called a pre-purchase agreement. If the deposit is being paid by your parents or her parents its going to get halved down the middle if you don't have a ppa. Remember though, your lender will have to agree to this or you could end up in deep water when/if it all goes pete-tongue.

This is an appropriate site to have a look at https://andersonstrathern.co.uk/news-insight/buying-a-house-together-do-i-need-a-pre-purchase-agreement/

I actually have the funds myself already. I can buy it alone. but she says if shes moving from england she wants to own 50% of the house. she has 30k to put towards it

[Toy Soldier]

I actually have the funds myself already. I can buy it alone. but she says if shes moving from england she wants to own 50% of the house. she has 30k to put towards it

The thing is, the fact that you have to ask is what makes it a bad idea to go into shared ownership of a property together in the first place. If both of you are so intent on having legal protections over owning it 50/50 then you're not really at the point in your relationship, I would say, where you are even ready to live together full term let alone share ownership. Have you been in a long term / committed relationship before? I don't know what to tell you other than that having to take out legal documents in order to trust each other is simply not normal, at all.

[DemolitionRed]

I actually have the funds myself already. I can buy it alone. but she says if shes moving from england she wants to own 50% of the house. she has 30k to put towards it

I don't blame her. She wants protection just as much as you do. This isn't just about a parting of the ways which are very messy if you're not married and you are buying property together, its not an engagement ring. We could be talking £hundreds of thousands What would happen if one of you died? What happens in the future if you do split?. Even if she doesn't come on the mortgage but pays towards it, you need a legal document in place to protect you both.

I'm married but we have still protected ourselves as individuals because sometimes, unexpected **** happens.

[DemolitionRed]

The thing is, the fact that you have to ask is what makes it a bad idea to go into shared ownership of a property together in the first place. If both of you are so intent on having legal protections over owning it 50/50 then you're not really at the point in your relationship, I would say, where you are even ready to live together full term let alone share ownership. Have you been in a long term / committed relationship before? I don't know what to tell you other than that having to take out legal documents in order to trust each other is simply not normal, at all.

I think its a good idea to have a pre-purchase agreement. There was a couple on a boat yard we were once on who lived in his Dutch barge that still had a mortgage on it. They had no such agreement but she was his life partner so she shared the bills, including money towards the mortgage. He died suddenly and his greedy family descended on the boat and took everything. There was nothing put in place to protect her and so she lost her man, lost her home and got nothing.

[Toy Soldier]

I think its a good idea to have a pre-purchase agreement. There was a couple on a boat yard we were once on who lived in his Dutch barge that still had a mortgage on it. They had no such agreement but she was his life partner so she shared the bills, including money towards the mortgage. He died suddenly and his greedy family descended on the boat and took everything. There was nothing put in place to protect her and so she lost her man, lost her home and got nothing.

Right but the point here is that Truth DOESN'T want to share the house with her 50/50 and that exact same thing could happen to her, given that whoever did inherit his share would own more than half of the property. I'm totally with you when it comes to ensuring that partners DO have rights to half of everything when the unexpected happens, but truths angle is to specifically ensure that she DOES NOT have rights to half. My question would be, why would anyone really want that sort of relationship? I guess that's entirely his business. But then, he is asking for advice on a public forum so I guess it's open for comment :shrug:.

[DemolitionRed]

Right but the point here is that Truth DOESN'T want to share the house with her 50/50 and that exact same thing could happen to her, given that whoever did inherit his share would own more than half of the property. I'm totally with you when it comes to ensuring that partners DO have rights to half of everything when the unexpected happens, but truths angle is to specifically ensure that she DOES NOT have rights to half. My question would be, why would anyone really want that sort of relationship? I guess that's entirely his business. But then, he is asking for advice on a public forum so I guess it's open for comment :shrug:.

Ah ok, well I'm being a bit slow today!

If I was her, I'd be very suspicious of his motives. Regardless of paying part of the mortgage and bills, if there's no agreement, she's screwed if he decides to end the relationship and she gets nothing for her investment.

She's the one making the biggest compromise because she's moving some distance, which means she needs new employment. Why would she do that when the stakes for losing everything are so high?

Unmarried people split all the time, regardless of them sharing a mortgage. Truth is already in a good place because he clearly has the money to buy her out if need be.

[the truth]

Ah ok, well I'm being a bit slow today!

If I was her, I'd be very suspicious of his motives. Regardless of paying part of the mortgage and bills, if there's no agreement, she's screwed if he decides to end the relationship and she gets nothing for her investment.

She's the one making the biggest compromise because she's moving some distance, which means she needs new employment. Why would she do that when the stakes for losing everything are so high?

Unmarried people split all the time, regardless of them sharing a mortgage. Truth is already in a good place because he clearly has the money to buy her out if need be.

I want the agreement, she doesnt

[Niamh.]

I want the agreement, she doesnt
You want an agreement so she doesnt get anything of yours not to protect her though, thats the opposite of what DR said

[DemolitionRed]

I want the agreement, she doesnt

So you don't want her in on the mortgage and you want an agreement?

She wants to pay half the mortgage but doesn't want an agreement?

She's accepted that you won't let her pay her half of the mortgage but she doesn't want an agreement?

[smudgie]

If the two of you are buying it outright, then I see no problem having an ownership agreement drawn up to say what percentage you both own.
If there was still to be some mortgage, it could get a bit messy.

[Toy Soldier]

So you don't want her in on the mortgage and you want an agreement?

She wants to pay half the mortgage but doesn't want an agreement?

She's accepted that you won't let her pay her half of the mortgage but she doesn't want an agreement?

In short; he is going to be putting up more cash than her but is terrified that she is going to screw him over for half of the property once it's bought.

I mean... we know nothing about her really to say whether or not this is a realistic fear, but my take on it is, the fact that it's a fear at all suggests VERY strongly that Mr Truth is not ready for this step :umm2:.

Truth if it's that much of an issue just buy it 100% yourself and be the sole owner, but with her living with you (if you must...). She pays nothing up front, and nothing towards it afterwards; it's your house. It shouldn't really be a risk for her... if she has the cash to put towards a house now then she can put that money away safely, and even add to it on a monthly basis since she'll be paying no mortgage, and if (when??? as you seem to be sure it'll happen!) you do break up she won't be left in a bad position because she'll still have that money :shrug:.

She would actually be putting herself in the WORST POSSIBLE position if she does things the way you want to; her putting up the money she has to be a less than 50% owner. In that case, when you break up, she has NO money to set herself up and you have a stronger claim on the property than she does, leaving her pretty much screwed, other than requesting that the property be sold and the money split again, but selling a house can take months if not years. She would have to be insane to sign the agreement you're seeking. And if you really want her to... I can't understand how you can even claim to like this person, let alone love her?

[Marsh.]

Thats not the only answer Ive had. what about 60/40 on the deeds have you known people who have done that
You seem to just want to get married and still selfishly keep everything purely for yourself. Therefore I'd advise not getting married at all. You're defeating the purpose.

Last thing you need is to be another divorce statistic.