TiBB's Interactive Alternative Drag Race [episode 6, pg. 7]

[MB.]

Now with 100% less transphobia!

https://i.imgur.com/k0TwzLq.png
[you may have noticed that graphic design is not my passion]


With season 10 of Drag Race having just launched, and with the drama surrounding the riggory, tomfoolery and straight up buffoonery of All Stars 3 still lingering in the air like the scent of Kenney Davenport's puss, I figured it might be fun to run our own version, in which you get to choose (more or less) everything that happens. That’s right, you’ll have control of every twist, tuck and tantrum: each round, I’ll post a link to a poll in which you'll get to cast your votes on what will happen that episode, from who wins the challenge to who lip syncs for their life. Think of yourself as a drag dictator. Kim Jong UNHhhh, if you will. I’ll use the results to write the series (for example, I’ll pick from the top two vote-getters for elimination to sashay away, based on which makes more sense from a narrative point of view). You’ll also get to vote on your favourite and least favourite queens, which will also influence who lasts long and who does a Magnolia Crawford. Depending on how many responses I get, and also on whether or not my laptop decides to work, the episodes will be every two days or so, meaning this should all be wrapped up in about a month.

But what’s so “alternative” about this, Mr MB, I hear you ask? Well, that’s the thing. The queens you’ll be voting on won’t be the fierce and fabulous cast of season 10, but a specially-crafted group of brand new (and very real… well, as real as a drag queen can be under all that silicone) contestants, most of which have been plucked by yours truly from Instagram. I’ve done a bit of research to put together bios for each of them, and I hope they’ll be an entertaining cast for the gays of TiBB to use as their puppets if nothing else. They'll be taking part in original challenges, also concocted by moi, but those are the only things that are planned. Everything else will be squarely your fault.

Very shortly, I’ll be revealing the queens one-by-one, before posting the first survey of the season for you to have your say on this motley cRu (my puns will only get worse from here on out, so brace yourselves)

So gentlemen, start your engines, and may whichever woman a bunch of forum members arbitrarily decide to get behind, win!

-----

[just for clarification, I’ve spoken to Riley about this considering he’s also just launched a Drag Race game, and he’s fine with it, the darling that he is]

[RileyH]

this sounds great :clap1:

[MB.]

this sounds great :clap1:

Thanks boo!

I'll start introducing the queens in alphabetical order shortly. The theme of this season's promo lewks is individuality, meaning each queen has her own unique theme/background. C'mon VH1 budget!

[MB.]

Let's start with a bang...

Amanda Bang
from San Francisco, California

https://i.imgur.com/LlpgBpJ.png

Not to be confused with the British queen of the same name, San Fran native Amanda Bang is described as the “gorgeous ghoul” of drag, and judging by her dark, horror-influenced style, she’s presumably one of those queens who wishes it could be Halloween all year round. Then again, her Instagram bio quotes a Jessie J song, so god knows where her inspiration really lies. Ever the creative queen, Amanda is no stranger to face paint, and can usually be seen in a pink or purple wig and distinctive black lip (she’s still in her goth phase, let her be). Bay Area queens like Amanda, Peaches Christ and Heklina are known for their dark humour and often less-refined drag style, which is perhaps why the only San Francisco queen to have appeared on Drag Race until now is Honey Mahogany (she tried, bless her). Can Amanda reverse the curse and put her city on the map?

The mug:

https://i.imgur.com/k4cWi6V.png

The looks:

https://i.imgur.com/otGvv0A.png

The boy:

https://i.imgur.com/wbPmzdL.png

Here she is lip syncing to FKA Twigs’ Water Me:

Ii4WWEee7pM

[MB.]

Our next queen is dee-lightful...

Big Dee
from Long Beach, California

https://i.imgur.com/FY4QQWZ.png

Big Dee (boy name Dennis Terrey), not to be confused with the Manchester queen of the same name, is a seasoned professional, which is a polite way of saying she's a old bitch. She’s a regular at clubs and bars across California, including the Velvet Lounge in Santa Ana, Hamburger Mary's in Long Beach and Micky's in West Hollywood (the latter of which is where you’ll also find Drag Race alumni as regular hosts and performers, including Morgan McMichaels and Raven), and has previously worked as a professional make-up artist, meaning she should know how to beat out a mug. Her other talents include comedy and creative lip syncs, the latter of which can be seen in one clip in which she performs Cher's Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves while dressed as Esmerelda from The Hunchback of Notre Dame. C'mon Victor Hugo fish!

The mug:

https://i.imgur.com/iOvRfo3.png

The looks:

https://i.imgur.com/nvoX7mZ.png

The boy:

https://i.imgur.com/wms8kTC.png

Here she is lip syncing to Shirley Bassey's version of Get the Party Started:

3con6b_Ktus

[Mokka]

Oh I love this MB!!

[Nicky91]

another wonderful thing from our icon MB :love:

[MB.]

Oh I love this MB!!

Thanks Mokka :love:

Also, after I've posted all the queens I'll link to each of their Instagram accounts, just in case anyone wants to see/stan/dickpig for themselves

[RileyH]

Amanda looks amazing, 2 good choices :clap2:

[MB.]

Is that a bomb?! Oh phew, it's just Bombalicious...

Bombalicious Eklaver
from Baltimore, Maryland

https://i.imgur.com/vN02eR8.png

Despite being one of this season’s older queens, the catchily-named Bombalicious Eklaver (boy name Ed Figueroa) only started doing drag a year and a half ago, having initially started making comedy videos that became popular in her home country. Originally from Manila, this Filipino queen burst onto the local drag scene and quickly took charge of it, fast becoming one of the top names in Baltimore and D.C. (I suppose the latter makes her the closest queen to Donald Trump this season, assuming none of the others play the role of Melania on the weekends). First and foremost a comedy queen, her drag style is at times gothy and sexy, but also emphasises the cultural aspects of her traditional Asian roots and isn’t afraid to make a bold statement (I’ll give you a clue: keep your eye out for snakes in the first episode). She may not be the most experienced of our queens, but she’s most certainly a hungry bitch.

The mug:

https://i.imgur.com/hLuhKL5.png

The looks:

https://i.imgur.com/gmQSC3Q.png

The... ahem... boy:

https://i.imgur.com/5sxrcG4.png

Here she is lip syncing to Fergie’s London Bridge:

BtB10IOES6Q

[MB.]

another wonderful thing from our icon MB :love:

Very kind of you Nicky :laugh:

[MB.]

In the words of Vanessa Vanjie Mateo, get dese cookies...

Cookie ****y
from Paris, France

https://i.imgur.com/GgpiKFM.png

In a season of firsts, Cookie ****y (boy name Romain Eck) is the first ever French queen on Drag Race, unless you count Thorgy for not shaving her legs. Well, technically, Cookie isn’t French; she was born in Canada, and grew up in various different parts of the world with her nomadic parents (as a result, she speaks French, English and Spanish fluently). Having gained an interest in drag from drawing other queens, she moved to Paris to further her arts education, and subsequently made her name as a hostess on the drag scene there. She cites Japanese culture and the club kid scene as some of her biggest inspirations, as well as her sister, a transgender woman who used to be a drag queen. The pressure of representing an entire country doesn’t seem to be fazing this Cookie, who says that she uses champagne to clean her brushes, but will she crumble under the pressure of RuPaul’s Drag Race? She’ll have to risk it for the biscuit, that’s for sure.

The mug:

https://i.imgur.com/rUYJcDs.png

The looks:

https://i.imgur.com/GvVGcBA.png

The boy:

https://i.imgur.com/hotT2bR.png

Here's an article (in French, so you may want to have Google Translate handy) on Cookie, although her surname breaks the swear filter so you'll have to type that in manually :laugh:

https://garcon-magazine.com/2017/04/11/cookie-****y-drag-queen-dune-nouvelle-generation

[MB.]

They say Young hearts run free...

Eva Young
from Chicago, Illinois

https://i.imgur.com/T2pZEnM.png

Pharmacy student by day and drag queen by night, Eva Young (boy name Andy Zhang)’s high-end fashion and unclockable beats have seen her become the most Instafamous queen in this season’s cast, racking up over 56,000 followers. She describes drag as her creative, artistic outlet in contrast to her strict Asian upbringing, as her parents aren’t aware that their son is gay, let alone that she does drag. Her passion for drag began at the age of twelve, when she and her friend (Jacob Szymanski, aka fellow queen Harlet Wench) dressed up as zombie hookers for Halloween. Since then, she has appeared on Gia Gunn’s YouTube channel and has released a single with several of her fellow Chicago queens, including season 10’s The Vixen. Eva lists anime, specifically Sailor Moon, as one of her main inspirations, and hopes to become America’s first ever superstar drag queen pharmacist.

The mug:

https://i.imgur.com/xv6jVkv.png

The looks:

https://i.imgur.com/0WAEgiv.png

The boy:

https://i.imgur.com/iLJFZRO.png

Here she is lip syncing to Britney’s Gimme More:

1Tl8KFl5QG8

[Mokka]

Oh Cookie!
I was hoping a Canadian would make your list as a here Toronto hosts about 20 clubs that have drag acts on any given night

[MB.]

Our next queen is one busy bee...

Honey Davenport
from New York, New York

https://i.imgur.com/fKToCp8.png

Hailing from the legendary Davenport drag dynasty, pageant queen Sir Honey Davenport (boy name James Clark) has a lot to live up to as she prepares for her Drag Race debut (from what I could find, she’s the niece of Kennedy and Sahara. Don’t ask me how that’s supposed to work). In fact, connections to other Drag Race queens are a very important part of Honey’s backstory – she got her big break travelling the world as a back-up dancer for Peppermint, and she happens to be the drag mother of a certain Miss Monét X Change which, if nothing else, suggests that New York City isn’t as huge as it may appear. That being said, she’s something of a drag legend in her own right: she has her own band, sings live, is a DJ and has won both the Miss’d America Pageant and Miss Stonewall, so I’d imagine she has quite the crammed CV. This won’t even be the first time that West Philadelphia-born Honey has met RuPaul, as a misunderstanding at a book signing (in which Ru signed her shirt “to Honey” as opposed to “to the Hunties”) led to her drag name being birthed into existence.

The mug:

https://i.imgur.com/iefiGUIg.png

The looks:

https://i.imgur.com/BMUz5tm.png

The boy:

https://i.imgur.com/Gr5jqdG.png

Here she is lip syncing to Stevie Nicks’ I Can’t Wait (werk Stevie! You better ****ing werk!):

33WgUZp1WmY

[MB.]

I think it's time to introduce some L'Whor and order... (sorry)

Jessica L'Whor
from Aurora, Colorado

https://i.imgur.com/XBIvVeq.png

As you may be able to tell from her promo look, Denver’s Best New Queen on the Scene 2016 Jessica L’Whor (boy name Zachary Sullivan) describes herself as a drag chameleon and tries not to stick to one particular style, as she enjoys surprising her audience (hence why she has such a penchant for costume reveals). Able to switch between sci-fi-inspired alien looks and classic glamour, her versatility, dark make-up and dramatic, long lashes set her apart from the crowd. She moved from Fort Collins to the larger city of Aurora, where she rather bravely lives in a house full of other drag queens, but works predominantly on the Denver scene alongside queens such as Nina Flowers, Felony Misdemeanor and Yvie Oddly (you may want to keep that particular name in mind). She says that red is her favourite colour, and tries to wear something red for every performance even if the audience can’t see it (c’mon knickers!)

The mug:

https://i.imgur.com/Pb4pOr1.png

The looks:

https://i.imgur.com/eP2WIDL.png

The boy:

https://i.imgur.com/yOw9hiI.png

Here she is lip syncing to Meghan Trainor’s Me Too:

2T_J_bRhxCc

[MB.]

[Gia Gunn voice] you lady boi? you lady boi?

Lady Boi
from Dallas, Texas

https://i.imgur.com/504RWxt.png

Lady Boi started doing drag aged 17 in her small hometown in Missouri, and skipped four months’ worth of Fridays at school so she could perform. Today, she’s one of drag’s biggest rising stars, having appeared on Hey Qween, and has managed to maintain her profile despite losing her apartment and most of her possessions in an arson attack last October. She lists her biggest inspirations as Lucille Ball, Dita Von Teese, vintage cartoons, 90s supermodels and Willam Belli (she fairly recently appeared on Willam’s web-series Paint Me Bitch and gave her a makeover – I’d recommend watching the video, if not just because Alyssa Edwards shows up halfway through), which I’m sure you’ll agree is quite the eclectic mix. The only video on her YouTube channel isn’t of her lip syncing or doing a make-up tutorial, but a clip of Evan Peters jacking off in the shower on American Horror Story. There are also videos on her Instagram of Katya licking her nipple and of her dancing on stage to The Same Parts with a giant pink penis cannon. The bitch knows her audience.

The mug:

https://i.imgur.com/K8GmVWP.png

The looks:

https://i.imgur.com/vRY31Rz.png

The boy:

https://i.imgur.com/kwGiUPv.png

Lady Boi’s episode of PMB with Willam:

_m45a4p6n0Y

Here she is lip syncing to Donna Summer’s Bad Girls:

p/Bd6aR4wnbE4

[RileyH]

oh wow Lady Boi is stunning

[MB.]

Let's get foxxy! Wonk wonk!

Nicole Lynn Foxx
from New Orleans, Louisana

https://i.imgur.com/QlwUKvT.png

Nicole Lynn Foxx (boy name Louis Moore) is something of a regular on the nightclub and cabaret scene in The Big Easy, having been performing in drag there for seven years. Prior to that, she studied vocal music at the New Orleans Center for Creative Arts, where she also performed in operas. Taking inspiration from divas such as Grace Jones, Tina Turner and Natalie Cole, as well as her favourite TV show Star Trek, she describes her drag style as "fun and dramatic with high energy and sometimes a vintage twist.” She has a keen eye for branding, and already has her own range of multicoloured merchandise, so we may have found this season’s entrepreneurial fish. From what I can see, her lip syncing is as tight as Trinity Taylor’s tuck, so any queens who find themselves in the bottom two against her may want to pray for a miracle. At least she can give her fellow queens t-shirts with her face on as a parting gift after she eliminates them.

The mug:

https://i.imgur.com/C4ZXo1d.png

The looks:

https://i.imgur.com/h4hw9CE.png

The boy:

https://i.imgur.com/qvIl58k.png

Here she is lip syncing to Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds:

e6BFWRUPnJY

[MB.]

oh wow Lady Boi is stunning

The purple mug in the centre had me just a little shooketh when I saw it, I must admit

[MB.]

Bueno, Julie, acabo de escribir "ano"...

Rafaella Pop
from Madrid, Spain

https://i.imgur.com/trYnfnX.png

Although Rafaella Pop is a big name on Madrid’s gay nightlife scene, she’s perhaps one of this season’s more mysterious queens: I wasn’t able to find out her boy name or come across any photos of her not in drag, so she seems to keep her cards close to her silicone chest. What was apparent from my research, however, was that she’s first and foremost a musical queen, having released a Spanish-language pop single and accompanying music video, and that she can certainly serve a lewk. She’s also Drag Race’s first ever Spanish queen, meaning that there’ll likely be some competition with fellow Europe-dweller Cookie ****y this season. Think of it as a mini Eurovision, but slightly less gay. Amusingly enough, there’s one interview in which Rafaella is described, in Spanish, as "a ripe peach in the middle of a field of green lettuce", which I’ve absolutely no doubt will catch on as a nickname. I think it was a compliment, anyway.

The mug:

https://i.imgur.com/hIMnJOk.png

The looks:

https://i.imgur.com/vbAcXXt.png

She doesn’t seem to exist as a boy, although I probably just haven’t Nancy Drew’d well enough. Anyway, just assume that she’s as pretty and Spanish out of drag as she is in it.

Here she is performing her debut single (c’mon production value! Courtney Act hew?):

lpGkPKOxr28

[MB.]

She's creepy and she's kooky, she might drive a Suzuki, the Addams family...

Valentine Addams
from Chicago, Illinois

https://i.imgur.com/awcjM0l.png

Valentine Addams is doing double duty this season, representing both the big girls and the Latinx queens (she originally comes from Mexico and now resides in Chicago, although she describes herself as a "fairy succubus princess from one of Neptune's moons", so I’m not entirely sure). Like several other of this season’s queens, Valentine first did drag for Halloween at the age of 21, and was initially encouraged to perform by fellow Chicago queen Trannika Rex. Her drag name derives from her boy name, Valter, and her love of The Addams Family, although she acknowledges that her style has become considerably less gothy over time. She lists Shea Couleé, Kim Chi (both of which are also from Chicago) and Trixie Mattel among her close drag friends, so she should have received plenty of good advice on how to make it to the end in the run-up to Drag Race.

The mug:

https://i.imgur.com/ysDrvqH.png

The looks:

https://i.imgur.com/RbahPut.png

The boy:

https://i.imgur.com/StROHDW.png

Here she is lip syncing to Las Ketchup’s The Ketchup Song, dressed as a bottle of mustard:

x-RXrubctYY

[MB.]

Move over Bebe, there's a new Tribal Queen in town...

VinChelle
from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

https://i.imgur.com/IAqiQFV.png

This won’t be the first crown that Philly drag queen VinChelle has had her eyes on, as she was the winner of Mimi Imfurst’s Drag Wars in 2015 (her! Mimi Imfurst! I could not believe it) and 2017 Philadelphia Drag Queen of the Year. A seasoned club host, comedy queen, vocalist, dancer and “lip sync extraordinaire”, VinChelle describes herself as a mixture of Tyra Banks, Beyoncé, Whitney Houston, Wendy Williams, Wanda Sykes, Whoopi Goldberg, and NeNe Leakes, so I can only assume that she’s incredibly rich. Despite taking inspiration from such larger-than-life divas, her fashion also often reflects her pride in her traditional African heritage and she nicknames herself the Tribal Queen, a side to her drag that she’s chosen to show off in her promo look. Originally from the African nation of… erm, Nashville, Tennessee, VinChelle, having changed her drag name from her original moniker of Shea Butter Werk, moved to The City of Brotherly Love with a theatre degree in order to pursue her dream of stardom. Will she make it big on the Drag Race stage?

The mug:

https://i.imgur.com/rkiG2op.png

The looks:

https://i.imgur.com/QG51JJ2.png

The boy:

https://i.imgur.com/4rrdE6F.png

Here she is lip syncing to Fifth Harmony as Michelle Obama (who she cruelly left off that list of celebrities that she likens herself to):

HFiMiVNyjEA

[MB.]

I'm going to break this alphabetical order thang I've been doing especially for our penultimate queen, because in the words of Madonna, we need a Holiday...

Drü Holiday
from Dallas, Texas

https://i.imgur.com/IUCbD7W.png

Drü Holiday (boy name Andrew Clemens) is more than just a pretty face; at 20 years old, she’s the youngest queen to ever step foot on the Drag Race stage, meaning she’ll be on the cranberry juice for Untucked, yet she is already an accomplished, national award-winning artist. Take that, Sasha Velour. She’s also not a particularly scrawny queen either, and by the looks of things she spends any time not in drag in the gym, so take that, Kameron Michaels. Drü’s drag is heavily inspired by her passion for art, resulting in her quirky, vintage cartoon-like aesthetic style (she says she draws fashion inspiration from cartoon villains, such as Ursula from The Little Mermaid, the Evil Queen from Snow White and Sedusa from The Powerpuff Girls) and trademark drawn-on, colourful eyelids. It also turns out that I’ve followed her (boy) Twitter account out of thirst all this time without realising, from which I’ve learned that she’s a fan of Lady Gaga, Amy Winehouse, mermaids and tattoos. Lots and lots of tattoos.

The mug:

https://i.imgur.com/GON9kBC.png

The looks:

https://i.imgur.com/clWwbMQ.png

The boy:

https://i.imgur.com/AwFVJZk.png

There don’t seem to be any videos of her lip syncing or performing online yet, so instead here are some more photos of boy Drü for all you thirsty queens out there.

https://i.imgur.com/eskPPkl.png

[MB.]

Finally (insert a gif of Nina voguing here), it's time to meet our final queen, and oddly enough I think I know who it is...

Yvie Oddly
from Denver, Colorado

https://i.imgur.com/g5JTy6K.png

Yvie Oddly (boy name Jovan Bridges) says her first taste of drag was dressing up as a dead hooker in high school, with her mom as her pimp, which may explain why she defines her drag aesthetic as being built on shock value rather than conventional glamour. Having previously dabbled with drag, her decision to commit to her art was made when she first saw Sharon Needles on Drag Race. Ever the resourceful queen, she enjoys working with unconventional materials, and has made outfits out of trash bags, zip ties and already-chewed chewing gum. Her first taste of success came when she won the 2015 Ultimate Queen Competition in Denver, and has since gone on to stake a claim in the shifting drag scene there: she hosts her weekly show The Oddly Hour at a bar where she also bartends during the day, and often incorporates topics of politics (telling stories, for example, about the Dakota Access Pipeline), religion, race and even leg-shaving into her performances.

The mug:

https://i.imgur.com/oegJVBI.png

The looks:

https://i.imgur.com/M4warUq.png

The boy:

https://i.imgur.com/VSXQoBs.png

Interview in which she talks about the "gentrification" of drag, and explains why she did blackface despite being African-American herself (https://303magazine.com/2018/02/denver-drag-queen-yvie-oddly/)

Another interview, starring boy Yvie:

D58_vRR60Sw

Here she is lip syncing to a 90s hip-hop medley:

vQ78kCSdf7k

[RileyH]

omg boy dru :drool:

Not really feeling her looks tho :think:

[MB.]

Which concludes our cast of fourteen queens!

Amanda Bang, the goulish glamourpuss [Insta: amandabangx]
Big Dee, the seasoned pro [Insta: bigdeelish]
Bombalicious Eklaver, the Filipino firecracker [Insta: bombalicious.eklaver]
Drü Holiday, the arty drag baby [Insta: druholidaydtx]
Cookie ****y, the French-Canadian sugar rush [Insta: cookie_****y]
Eva Young, the pharmacy student-turned-fashionista [Insta: evayoung_]
Honey Davenport, the New York pageant legend [Insta: thehoneyd]
Jessica L’Whor, the drag chameleon from Colorado [Insta: the_l.whor]
Lady Boi, the mischievous rising starlet [Insta: thatsladyboi]
Nicole Lynn Foxx, the New Orleans cabaret queen [Insta: _nicolelynnfoxx]
Rafaella Pop, the minx from Madrid [Insta: rafaellapop]
Valentine Addams, the self-proclaimed fairy princess [Insta: itsmevalentine]
VinChelle, the Tribal Queen-cum-club host [Insta: _vinchelle_]
Yvie Oddly, the shocking political queen [Insta: oddlyyvie]

In a moment, I'll post the link to the episode one survey, so I hope you're making your minds up on these queens because you're about to get your first taste of power...

[MB.]

Pre-season/episode 1 survey (https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/W5GRVNL)

There are ten questions (five on the season overall and five on the first episode), and it should only take a minute or two to complete. Feel free to be as creative with your decisions as you want, and feel free to look back over the queens' bios/photos to get a better impression of them. I really appreciate anyone who does the survey so thanks in advance :love:

As a rough estimate, let's say you've got until Monday evening to fill it in, at which point I'll collect the results and write the episode!

[Mokka]

Honey Davenport strikes me as the queen who always ends up in the bottom two but slays the lip sync every time lol

Just watching all the YouTube links now

[Mokka]

Rafaella Pop speaks to me

[Nicky91]

me rooting for Eva Young

[MB.]

Rafaella Pop speaks to me

In Spanish, I presume

(lovely to hear your thoughts, guys :love:)

[Mokka]

Such a good job so far MB.
I'm impressed by the concept and work you've put in :thumbs:

[RileyH]

Team Big Dee, Dru, Lady Boi & Vinchelle for me :love:

[MB.]

Such a good job so far MB.
I'm impressed by the concept and work you've put in :thumbs:

lol thanks very much. Please know that this effort has been at the expense of several far more important things :laugh:

Team Big Dee, Dru, Lady Boi & Vinchelle for me :love:

Glad you've got your favourites!

[MB.]

Oh and just to add, there'll be a few more open poll questions (i.e. you get to write in your own answer rather than being limited to my choices) during the course of the season, but I figured I'd keep it fairly simple for the first one as there were a lot of... more clerical questions to get out of the way first

[Ammi]

...is it ok to just do a first impression thing with the survey...on looks without watching the vids, MB..?...

[Ammi]

...I’m going to do that anyway because you’re asleep so, I’all take advantage of that and just do a speedy first impression, shallow type thing..

[Ammi]

..where do I click for the survey though..there’s no link in the OP etc..?..

[Ammi]

...oh I see, it’s where you’ve underlined episode 1 survey, I’ve got it...just ignore me and go back to sleep, I’ll do it now...

[Ammi]

...all done..:love:...

[MB.]

...is it ok to just do a first impression thing with the survey...on looks without watching the vids, MB..?...

Oh yes, that's totally fine Ammi. Thanks for taking part :love:

[MB.]

Bumping just in case anyone else fancies doing this! (I'll close the survey at around 4pm tomorrow)

[Amy Jade]

I voted earlier I forgot to say! Good luck with this it's a fun idea

[MB.]

I voted earlier I forgot to say! Good luck with this it's a fun idea

Thanks Amy!

[Wizard.]

Boy Dru could ruin my hole

[Morgan.]

I voted earlier!

[MB.]

I voted earlier!

Thanks :love:

Boy Dru could ruin my hole

Ah yes, I knew there was a question I'd forgotten to add to the survey

[MB.]

Pre-season/episode 1 survey (https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/W5GRVNL)

There are ten questions (five on the season overall and five on the first episode), and it should only take a minute or two to complete. Feel free to be as creative with your decisions as you want, and feel free to look back over the queens' bios/photos to get a better impression of them. I really appreciate anyone who does the survey so thanks in advance :love:

As a rough estimate, let's say you've got until Monday evening to fill it in, at which point I'll collect the results and write the episode!

Last chance!

[Ammi]

..i’ve just watched the vids, MB...all great lip syncing....fabulous ladies..:lovedup:...



..anyway, Amanda I think is a little more Kate Bush than FKA Twigs..:love:...

..I think ..(atm..)..I’m absolutely going to adore Big Dee..I loved her lip sync..:love:...

..Bombalicious is delicious..:love:...

...(..the link to the article on Cookie didn’t work for me btw..)...

...Jessica..:lovedup:...

..Lady Boi is spectacular..:love:...

..I really felt the soul of Nicole Lynn with that song choice..:flutter:.../..emotional...

..Rafaella looks quite Cher...so she’s obviously fabulous..:love:...also showing in the vid that orange is not the new black..there are much more fabulous alternatives to dusty old orange...

..Valentine, lovely and sexy moves..:love:...


...Vinchelle Obama..:love:...

..and Yvie is not oddly but obviously gorgeous..:love:...



...I’m looking forward to the first episode more now I’ve seen the ladies performing..:love:...

[MB.]

Love to hear your thoughts, Ammi :love: (and yeah, sorry about the Cookie link... her surname gets blocked by the swear filter)

Thanks to everyone who voted. I'll have the first episode up soon!

[RileyH]

oh wow perched :clap1:

[MB.]

Episode #1 - Closet Queens
Part One

Scene: a currently empty werkroom.

VinChelle is the first queen to enter the otherwise empty werkroom, wearing a vintage red dress and a bow around her neck. “Guess I should have knocked first, huh?”, she asks herself, before kicking her high heels off and putting her feet up on a stool. “Might as well make myself at home…”

https://i.imgur.com/cjEGPsp.png

“Let the bullfight commence, ladies!” says Rafaella Pop, wearing a red flamenco dress, complete with black hat and roses stuck to the side of her head. “You did red better than me, you bitch!” VinChelle laughs as she approaches her for a hug. Rafaella looks back, confused, and smiles politely. “I like your bow,” she finally brings herself to say.

https://i.imgur.com/K2Dfb5I.png

Big Dee is next in, donning a short leopard print dress and a red wig. “Nice tits, d’you get them on sale?” she asks nobody in particular. VinChelle screams.

https://i.imgur.com/CuAKbLD.png

“I hope you’re sitting comfortably,” says Eva Young, posing in her sheer white gown and orange Elizabethan ruff, “because the show’s about to begin.” Once she’s over at the desk, she asks the other queens why she’s the only one not wearing red. “Oh my god, did I miss the memo?”

https://i.imgur.com/FdBl3Jp.png

“Did any of you ladies order a side of fish?” asks Jessica L’Whor, wearing an art deco-style gold and white leotard and thigh-high boots, in a slightly over-rehearsed manner. “Oh,” retorts Big Dee from across the room. “Here’s the ham I asked for.”

https://i.imgur.com/y6TrMgX.png

“Honey, she’s home!” declares an exuberant Honey Davenport, dressed in a silver mini dress, as she twirls into the werkroom. Once she mentions that she’s from New York City, the other queens start discussing their hometowns. Jessica reveals that she's from Aurora, Colorado, while Eva says with pride that she's a Chicago queen. “I’ve come all the way from Madrid,” Rafaella tells the group. “...Madrid, Iowa (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madrid,_Iowa)?” Big Dee asks in return.

https://i.imgur.com/qrV1m63.png

“Boo, you *****s,” says Valentine Addams. Eva reads her t-shirt and shouts, “nobody touch her!”, prompting Valentine to run towards her and give her a bear hug. “Mixed messages, girl,” says Jessica.

https://i.imgur.com/PxQR5As.png

Bombalicious Eklaver, dressed in a serpent costume, walks into the werkroom silently before letting out a loud hissing sound. “Alaska’s back!” yells Valentine in delight.

https://i.imgur.com/rHjNab0.png

[MB.]

Episode #1 - Closet Queens
Part Two

Next, Lady Boi struts into the werkroom wearing a light blue wig, places her hand on her hip and whispers: “I can’t read.” The other queens seem very intrigued by her presence, and one can be heard saying that she follows her on Instagram.

https://i.imgur.com/RXZ3qSI.png

“Happy Mardi Gras, queens,” smiles Nicole Lynn Foxx, dressed as a 1920s flapper. “I like your snake,” Nicole tells Bombalicious as they exchange air kisses, not sounding entirely convinced herself.

https://i.imgur.com/LCEV7bh.png

“Death never looked so hot,” growls Amanda Bang confidently as she licks her lips. “I don’t know about that,” mumbles Big Dee from across the desk. “My aunt Joan was quite the looker even at that stage.”

https://i.imgur.com/9dPJAyw.png

“I don’t speak German,” says Drü Holiday, holding a red cane, “but I can if you like.” Several queens scream at the Lady Gaga reference; in a confessional, Rafaella wonders what happened to her eyelids. “Did she do her makeup in the dark?”

https://i.imgur.com/Nd8on0c.png

“****y by name... you know the rest,” winks Cookie ****y upon entering the werkroom in a glittery emerald gown and white fur coat. “C’mon French fish!” Nicole, a New Orleans native, hollers. “C’mon les poisson!”

https://i.imgur.com/0az0KXp.png

Finally, Yvie Oddly, wearing a mask that covers her face, does a stilted, robotic walk into the werkroom, stands in silence, then death drops to the ground. “She’d like to keep it on, please,” says VinChelle, as the other queens look on awkwardly.

https://i.imgur.com/8dgVaHe.png

She’s still lying there when Ru appears on the TV screen, prompting them all to gather.

In the message, Ru is dressed as an old woman, claiming that she’s come from the future to warn this group of queens about an impending fashion disaster: straight guys’ closets. The queens all gay-scream in unison as the message ends and boy Ru walks into the werkroom, welcoming them all to this season of RuPaul’s Drag Race and telling them that the first mini challenge is imminent. She then turns to Yvie, still lying on the ground, and riffs on Laganja’s famous catchphrase by saying, “c’mon Yvie Oddly, let’s get… up!”

[Headie]

Love this :love:

[MB.]

Episode #1 - Closet Queens
Part Three

VinChelle meets Ru and a photographer backstage for the first mini challenge of the season. Ru explains that VinChelle will be joined in the photo shoot by a few special guests, at which point fifty grannies wearing dressing gowns walk in. “It’s like The Golden Girls on acid!” remarks VinChelle. The challenge, Ru explains, is for the queens to stand out in a sea of OAPs whichever way they can. What Ru doesn’t explain, but that becomes apparent once the photographer begins shooting, is that the grannies all take off their dressing gowns and pose naked, and that the queens must keep their cool in the midst of this, to a mixture of horror and delight from the queens themselves.

Various different approaches to the challenge are on display: Rafaella, Nicole, Cookie and Eva go for glamour, Lady Boi and VinChelle act more goofy, Drü, Valentine, Yvie and Bombalicious use the grannies as human props, Amanda and Jessica stand still and look as if they’d like the ground to swallow them up, Honey tries out a series of different outlandish positions (including bending over and doing the splits, remarking in a confessional that since she’d seen these ladies’ bits, it was only right that they saw hers), and Big Dee decides that if you can’t beat them, you should join them, and strips off as well.

Back in the werkroom, after everyone de-drags and spends several minutes fawning over Eva and Drü's boy looks, Ru returns to inform the queens that for showing the most charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent in her photo, Honey Davenport is the winner of the mini challenge. All the other queens applaud and Honey looks humble, but is at the same time seen in a confessional punching the air and screaming at a pitch only perceptible to dogs.

Ru then brings in the pit crew, who wheel in two seemingly identical closets, and introduces this week’s maxi challenge. As Drag Race’s fashion influence knows no bounds, the queens must take the contents of some of the ugliest wardrobes in America, belonging to either dusty grannies or even dustier straight guys, and turn them into high fashion couture looks ready for the runway. She explains that they’re allowed to use their own wigs, shoes and The Pointer Sisters, in or out of their Andrew Christian underwear, but everything else must come from the closets. To complicate things a little further, she asks the Pit Crew to open up the closets, and then says that as the winner of the mini challenge, it is up to Honey to designate one item to each queen.

First up, from the granny’s closet, Honey choses...

For Rafaella, a white bedsheet
For Bombalicious, several black bras
For Nicole, a box of white clothes buttons
For VinChelle, a box of white rubber gloves
For Drü, some red plaid pyjamas
For Yvie, a selection of dated-looking green towels
For Lady Boi, a spare roll of wallpaper from the back of the closet

And from the straight guy’s closet, she choses…

For Jessica, some stretched black leather belts
For herself, a brown dotted business shirt
For Big Dee, an oversized chequered casual shirt
For Eva, a pile of dusty denim jackets
For Amanda, some worn-out denim jeans
For Valentine, a selection of snazzy ties

After everything has been assigned, the closets are empty. Cookie looks around, confused, having not been assigned an item. At this point, Ru pipes up and mentions that the last item of the list is… the closet itself. Cookie looks horrified at the thought of having to make an outfit out of wood, and Nicole says she suddenly feels a lot better about having nothing but buttons to work with. Ru hands Cookie a saw and tells the queens to get to work with her trademark “gentlemen, start your engines, and may the best woman… win!”

[Morgan.]

Ru hands Cookie a saw

:joker:

[RileyH]

screaming @ the mini challenge :joker:

[MB.]

Episode #1 - Closet Queens
Part Four

As Cookie stands at her station, saw in hand, wondering how on earth she’s going to be able to turn a wardrobe into a couture outfit in the space of a few hours, the other queens get started on their dresses. The queens who have clothes to work with, such as Big Dee, Drü and Amanda, seem confident, with Amanda saying that she’s figured out how she’ll turn her several pairs of jeans into a high fashion dress, and joking that she’ll probably be finished by the end of the day.

Eva, sorting through her pile of denim jackets, says that she feels a lot of pressure to impress, as people have always thought of her fashion as being of a high standard. “But Instagram isn’t always real life, girl,” Jessica warns her as she walks past her station, carrying her own box of leather belts, which she intends to turn into a jacket-and-skirt combo.

Yvie, who seems to have slightly isolated herself from the rest of the group following her entrance stunt, maps out her elaborate plan for turning towels into a gown. “I don’t think these things have seen daylight since the 1970s,” she winces, studying the mint green material, “but I’ve got something very high-concept in mind that I really hope I’ll have the time to pull off.”

Elsewhere, Valentine gets to work on sewing her ties together, while Rafaella struts around the werkroom with her bedsheet tied around her waist. “Don’t tell me that’s her outfit,” Amanda says to Big Dee as she liberally rolls her eyes in Rafaella’s direction. As the end of the day approaches and Bombalicious hurriedly sews her bras onto a corset, some of the queens watch Lady Boi, who hasn’t made much progress with her wallpaper dress. “She’s barely started. She’s still just playing around with her material when everyone else has a structure,” Jessica says. “Little girl’s got her head in the clouds,” Bombalicious agrees, looking up from her ever-growing mountain of bras. “And she’ll get herself into trouble if she ain’t careful.”

The next day, the queens return to the werkroom to finish their closet couture looks, with some looking more eager than others. Overnight, Yvie had a fashion nightmare, and the complex structure that she’d built to drape her towel construction around collapsed. “I’m not going to have the time to rebuild it,” she says, “so I’m going to have to come up with a plan B, and quickly.” She then confesses that she feels her outlandish entrance the previous day alienated her fellow queens, and as a result they wouldn’t be willing to help her with her look. “It may sound dumb, but I don’t think my outfit is the only thing I’m going to have to rebuild today.” She explains that she’s used to people being confused and uncomfortable with her drag style, but was hoping that it wouldn’t cause such a divide.

Meanwhile, Nicole puts the finishing touches to her outfit, which is a cocktail dress made out of buttons. She explains that she managed to individually tie them together with string, and even though it took a lot of effort, she hopes it’ll be worth it on the runway.

As Big Dee tries on her summer dress, made out of a single large shirt, Amanda tells her that she’s grateful for her being here. “There aren’t many of us West Coast bitches in the competition, so us Cali girls need to stick together.” Amanda goes on to explain that being from San Francisco, she’s used to her style of drag being underrepresented on Drag Race. “I’m only the second girl from my scene to do this show, and while I come from a very individual, unique group of queens, it feels kind of lonely to be the only one here. When you look around and you see so many Chicago girls, so many New York girls, so many Texas girls, and then there’s you, it can make you feel like you’re worth less.” She looks at her dress, made out of jeans piled on top of one another, and sighs. “I’m not happy with that.”

As the clock runs down, most of the queens sit around the mirror and do their make-up. Several queens sit in awe of Eva’s mug, with Jessica joking, “bitch, I need your secrets!”. Rafaella decides to ask Drü about her unique style of painting, which Drü says is down to not wanting to fit in with more conventional queens. “I’m an artist,” she explains, “and it sounds cliche but my body is my canvas. Painting like this allows me to become a cartoon character, or a piece of art, or something strange, or something strangely beautiful.” VinChelle says that it’s only fair that she doesn’t paint to look conventionally beautiful - “you’re far too damn good looking as a boy as it is!”.

Across the werkroom, Yvie and Lady Boi sit on their own, finishing off their looks, while Cookie, her hands a blistery mess, marvels at how she managed to make an outfit out of planks of wood.

[MB.]

Episode #1 - Closet Queens
Part Five - The Runway

Ru walks down the runway and welcomes the judges - regular judges Michelle Visage and Ross Mathews, and tonight’s extra special guest judges, Queer Eye’s Jonathan Van Ness and showbiz legend Carol Burnett - to the show, before introducing the runway theme: From Closet to Couture.

-----

Rafaella Pop walks the runway in a vintage-looking dress made out of a bedsheet, with a peach bow tied around the waist and a long blonde wig. She explains that it isn’t her usual style, as she’s usually the showgirl, but she thought she’d show the judges some versatility.

https://i.imgur.com/wJefuYP.png

Bombalicious Eklaver wears a black dress, with a skirt made of bras. Michelle comments that she made the outfit to the breast of her ability.

https://i.imgur.com/dLhOt84.png

Nicole Lynn Foxx takes to the runway in a long, figure-hugging dress made of white buttons, and pairs it with a bob wig to continue her 1920s flapper theme. "Flapper?" Ru asks. "I hardly know her!"

https://i.imgur.com/cxkyFYn.png

VinChelle wears a dress made of gloves and a frizzy brown wig. Jonathan calls the look “Tina Turner goes golfing”.

https://i.imgur.com/OLU0Xf6.png

Drü Holiday, painted in her signature cartoon-ish style, is wearing a red tartan dress made of pyjamas, which she explains is shorter than the outfits she usually wears, but she was limited in what she could do. The judges attempt a variety of vaguely Scottish accents.

Before and after:

https://i.imgur.com/RqRaKKe.pnghttps://i.imgur.com/OZX8SOA.png

Yvie Oddly walks the runway in a mini dress made of a towel wrapped around her body, and another towel wrapped around her hair. She explains that she’s disappointed that she wasn’t able to execute her original idea, and instead hopes that the judges like her legs, because she’s very much putting them on show.

https://i.imgur.com/yspzmC2.png

Lady Boi wears a cute dress made out of blue floral wallpaper, and takes the theme even further by strapping a wall covered in the same wallpaper to her back. “She’s gotten herself into a sticky situation,” muses Ross.

https://i.imgur.com/hyY8nws.png

Jessica L'Whor shows off her construction, which is a jacket and mini-skirt made entirely of belts. She’s paired it with vivid red lipstick, and hopes that the judges appreciate that she’s serving executive realness. “She owns 51% of this company,” Ru comments.

https://i.imgur.com/bvomPq1.png

Honey Davenport is wearing a fitted brown dress with a peplum, which she has made out of a business shirt. She explains that she’s happy with her choice, and decided to go for something simple this week as to minimise risk.

https://i.imgur.com/L6sHO6r.pnghttps://i.imgur.com/G4qf7f9.png

Also wearing a dress made out of a shirt is Big Dee, who plays the role of the Southern belle in her chequered summer dress, paired with exaggerated makeup and a straw hat. “Oklahomo!” screams Carol, her sole contribution to the commentary this round.

Before and after:

https://i.imgur.com/BCpIxhz.pnghttps://i.imgur.com/sNW82SC.png

Eva Young channels her favourite supermodels as she walks the runway in a long layered gown constructed from old denim jackets, a look that she titles “Thelma & Louise go to prom.” She explains that she wanted to convey classic beauty while still showing off the unconventional material. “She must have skinny genes,” says an impressed Michelle.

https://i.imgur.com/aAhfvbB.png

Similarly wearing a denim construction is Amanda Bang, who has made a dress by laying jeans on top of one another and pairing it with her signature gothy makeup. “This is jean-ius,” Ross nods as the other judges groan.

https://i.imgur.com/7rScAr8.png

Valentine Addams is next, taking to the runway in a colourful dress made of ties, over which she has placed a black lace jacket. She explains that the main intention of the outfit was for the judges to see her boobs, and winks in their direction when she reaches the end of the runway.

https://i.imgur.com/wAKFRCC.png

Finally, to much anticipation, Cookie ****y takes to the runway. Although her outfit isn’t particularly well-shaped (she’s just haphazardly glued the pieces of her closet to a corset), she pulls it off with a wide-eyed look and a wooden walk, and the judges admire her for doing what seemed impossible. After a series of groan-worthy ‘wood’ puns, Ru exclaims, “please, these puns are so old that I sawdust on them.”

https://i.imgur.com/jMZEwv3.png

[MB.]

Episode #1 - Closet Queens
Part Six - The Deliberation

The queens are gathered for the judges’ critiques. Rafaella, VinChelle, Drü, Honey, Big Dee, Valentine and Cookie are called safe, but reminded (with the exception of Cookie, who, according to Ru, ventured “where the other queens wood not go”) that ‘safe’ is not what they should be aspiring to in this competition.

The other queens - Bombalicious, Nicole, Yvie, Lady Boi, Jessica, Eva and Amanda - represent, as Ru says, the tops and bottoms of the week. Lady Boi and Nicole receive praise for turning unconventional materials into couture outfits and for executing a concept effectively.

Bombalicious is criticised for an outfit that the judges perceive as basic, and think that more could have been done with the materials (“you could have hot-glued a bra to your head or something,” Michelle comments). Yvie and Amanda also come under fire: Yvie for her simplistic outfit, with the judges noting that she essentially just wrapped a towel around her waist and called it a dress, and Amanda for her outfit lacking shape, with the judges saying the pile-up of jeans looks as if she took a clothes rack and stuck it to her body.

Conversely, Jessica is commended for thinking out-of-the-box and turning her belts into a jacket rather than a dress, and for looking “sexy as hell” according to Jonathan, while Eva is lauded for making her denim gown seem effortless and classic (“it looks like something straight out of Vogue,” says world-renowned fashion expert Ross Mathews). Ru then tells the queens to untuck backstage as the judges deliberate.

Once the queens return, Ru announces that she has made her decision.

“Nicole Lynn Foxx… you’re safe.”

“Lady Boi, this week you went... balls to the wall… you’re safe.”

“Eva Young, this week, your denim was most definitely not... den-um… congdragulations, you’re the winner of this week’s challenge” (for her victory, Eva wins a brand new custom wardrobe)

“Jessica L’Whor… you’re safe.”

“Bombalicious Eklaver, this week, your lingerie left us... longing for more. Yvie Oddly, your towel couture was... rather dry. Amanda Bang, your outfit... fizzled out…

...Bombalicious Eklaver… you’re safe.”

Bombalicious gasps and steps to the back of the stage before Ru can change her mind, leaving Amanda Bang and Yvie Oddly as the bottom two.

“Two queens stand before me,” Ru continues. “This is your last chance to impress me, and save yourself from elimination.” In a confessional, Yvie says that since she messed it up in the challenge, she no choice other than to turn it out in the lip sync. “The time has come, to lip sync, for your life…”

[RileyH]

Yvie :worry:

[MB.]

Episode #1 - Closet Queens
Part Seven - The Lip Sync

https://i.imgur.com/aC2zv4k.png https://i.imgur.com/lqsCw9x.png

Amanda Bang vs Yvie Oddly
Disco Tits (Tove Lo)

8RQDPwODja4

Both queens bring their all to the lip sync, with Amanda going for a sexy interpretation of the song and Yvie opting to vogue and give the judges a tight high-energy performance, taking the towel from her head and using it as a dance prop. Ultimately, Amanda is confined by the weight of her bulky dress, while Yvie uses the stage more effectively, walking up and down the runway to the beat.

After the lip sync, Ru tells the queens that she has made her decision.

“Yvie Oddly, shantay you stay,” Ru declares, and Yvie places her hands to her head to cover her tears. She then goes to hug Amanda and leaves the stage.

“Amanda Bang,” Ru continues as Amanda bites her lip. “You came in with a bang, and girl, it may have been short, but you’ve given us more bang for your buck. Now, sashay away.”

Amanda waves goodbye to her fellow queens and, as she leaves, begins ripping the jeans out of her dress. “I’m never wearing these things again,” she says as she collects her Ru trophy. “It’s trousers all the way from now on.”

As she prepares to leave, Ru’s voice is heard on the TV screen. “Don’t lose hope yet, my queen,” the message says. “For the race is long.”

“So you mean I can’t go to the bar now?” Amanda asks, perplexed and in need of a drink.

To be continued...

[RileyH]

That was amazing :worship:

I'm so glad Yvie stayed :love: Great job :clap2:

[MB.]

Love this :love:

:joker:

screaming @ the mini challenge :joker:

That was amazing :worship:

I'm so glad Yvie stayed :love: Great job :clap2:

Thanks guys :love:

Here's the episode 2 survey (https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/L8JTPK7)

You've got until... let's say Wednesday evening to complete it before I collect the results and write the episode. Many thanks in advance :)

[MB.]

Shoutout to whoever just filled in the survey for their frankly inspired mirror message suggestion

[Daniel-X]

Brilliant job MB, you’ve done a fantastic job at making the images really come to life in my head :clap1:

My favourites so far are Lady Boi, Yvie and VinChelle :love:

[Daniel-X]

Just a heads up but Dru is missing from the poll MB

[MB.]

Just a heads up but Dru is missing from the poll MB

Ah, bugger, I knew I'd forgotten someone

Let me rectify that, and in the meantime if anyone wants to vote for Dru for any of the categories, let me know :)

[MB.]

Brilliant job MB, you’ve done a fantastic job at making the images really come to life in my head :clap1:

My favourites so far are Lady Boi, Yvie and VinChelle :love:

Thanks a lot btw :love:

[MB.]

Dru should now (hopefully) exist again :)

[MB.]

-insert a "mother****ers forgot about Dru" pun here-

[MB.]

I also started some charts because I'm like that. C'mon Wiki fish!

Contestant progress:

https://i.imgur.com/m2idSxt.png

Lip syncs:

https://i.imgur.com/NQEERbW.png

[MB.]

SurveyMonkey appears to be down, but if anyone has an itching desire to vote then feel free to send them in via carrier pigeon :love:

[Amy Jade]

It is working for me, just sent my choices in!

[MB.]

It is working for me, just sent my choices in!

Ah yeah, I assume it was just a temporary thing. Tyvm :love:

[Ammi]

..awwww Amanda..:sad:...she was already feeling lonely and worthless as well...:sad:...

[Ammi]

...I’ve done the survey but I didn’t answer one because I don’t know what ‘read a queen for on the runway’ means...I think I might be out of my depth here, MB...,a yeah just better to follow the game, I’m thinking...because I haven’t watched Ru Paul so am not familiar with terms and format etc...with what did Amanda’s message on the mirror say..?....I was skimming and skimming back to look for what she said....oooo, where is that, it must be somewhere...anyways then I realised we have to decide what the message was, that’s for us to do.../...I’m going to be hopeless and so cringy with it all..and probably just hinder your interactive drag race...gosh the time and thought you’ve put into this as well, MB...for me to be hindering about here with no clue of stuff...you’re such the best to be doing something in this vein, MB...with your writing and your style etc..your natural wit...that first episode made me feel the ladies personalities and talents so much...:lovedup:...and it’s going to be hard to see any of them sashay away because of that...:sad:...because of how you’ve put this together so perfectly, MB...

[Morgan.]

...I’ve done the survey but I didn’t answer one because I don’t know what ‘read a queen for on the runway’ means...I think I might be out of my depth here, MB...,a yeah just better to follow the game, I’m thinking...because I haven’t watched Ru Paul so am not familiar with terms and format etc...with what did Amanda’s message on the mirror say..?....I was skimming and skimming back to look for what she said....oooo, where is that, it must be somewhere...anyways then I realised we have to decide what the message was, that’s for us to do.../...I’m going to be hopeless and so cringy with it all..and probably just hinder your interactive drag race...gosh the time and thought you’ve put into this as well, MB...for me to be hindering about here with no clue of stuff...you’re such the best to be doing something in this vein, MB...with your writing and your style etc..your natural wit...that first episode made me feel the ladies personalities and talents so much...:lovedup:...and it’s going to be hard to see any of them sashay away because of that...:sad:...because of how you’ve put this together so perfectly, MB...

To read someone is to insult

[MB.]

...I’ve done the survey but I didn’t answer one because I don’t know what ‘read a queen for on the runway’ means...I think I might be out of my depth here, MB...,a yeah just better to follow the game, I’m thinking...because I haven’t watched Ru Paul so am not familiar with terms and format etc...with what did Amanda’s message on the mirror say..?....I was skimming and skimming back to look for what she said....oooo, where is that, it must be somewhere...anyways then I realised we have to decide what the message was, that’s for us to do.../...I’m going to be hopeless and so cringy with it all..and probably just hinder your interactive drag race...gosh the time and thought you’ve put into this as well, MB...for me to be hindering about here with no clue of stuff...you’re such the best to be doing something in this vein, MB...with your writing and your style etc..your natural wit...that first episode made me feel the ladies personalities and talents so much...:lovedup:...and it’s going to be hard to see any of them sashay away because of that...:sad:...because of how you’ve put this together so perfectly, MB...

Yeah, sorry, I've not made this accessible enough so far... I think I have a tendency to get carried away in really niche references and I forget that only people as sad as me understand them (this coming episode will be a good example of that) :laugh: But I really appreciate you following along either way, especially as I'm essentially writing in an alien language here, and those compliments mean a lot coming from you :love: So shantay you stay

Speaking of which, episode two will be up soon...

[MB.]

Episode #2 - Memes Come True
Part One

Scene: the werkroom, after Amanda’s elimination.

The queens filter in, relieved to be back but sad to see their first sister leave. Big Dee reads out the message that Amanda left in lipstick on the mirror:

“Jeans are not for glamour queens! Carry on dreaming my girls... I've banged you once and I'll bang you again. xo Amanda.”

“Who knew that drag queens could spell?” Big Dee laughs as she wipes the lipstick off. The queens then turn to Yvie and congratulate her on surviving the lip sync. Yvie herself confesses that she’s starting to feel more like a member of the group now, but knows she can’t begin to get comfortable, “not in this little game.” As Cookie (having checked herself for splinters) runs around the werkroom slapping Rafaella on the bottom with Yvie’s towel, the queens also congratulate a joyful Eva on winning the first maxi challenge of the season, although Jessica remains silent. “I’ll be honest, I thought I had that in the bag,” Jessica says in a confessional. “My look was so much more detailed than Eva's and I was actually pretty shocked when Ru called her name instead of mine. But you know, it’s a long season, and we’ll see which of us has the last laugh in the end. Game on, squirrel friend.”

The next morning, the queens gather for a brand new day of drag, and to celebrate the occasion, Valentine does a forward roll into the werkroom. They’re met there by boy Ru, who announces this week’s mini challenge: in teams, the queens must get into quick drag and recreate some famous dramatic Drag Race moments. The queens are allowed to pick their own teams: Eva, Drü and Lady Boi team up, Honey and Nicole run straight towards each other and rope in Cookie to make three, Big Dee, Jessica and VinChelle link arms and Bombalicious, Rafaella, Valentine and Yvie, realising they’re the ones left, have no choice but to make the fourth team. “Maybe I’m not such a part of the group after all,” mumbles a dejected Yvie. The scenes are as follows:


Big Dee, Jessica and VinChelle recreate the “drag is not a contact sport” scene from season three, with VinChelle as RuPaul and Big Dee (as Mimi Imfurst) giving Jessica (as India Ferrah) an unwanted fireman’s lift.


Bombalicious, Rafaella, Valentine and Yvie recreate the “sugar daddy” fight from season three, with Valentine as Mimi Imfurst, Yvie as Shangela, and Bombalicious and Rafaella sat at the back looking awkward as Mariah and Alexis Mateo respectively.


Drü, Eva and Lady Boi recreate the “everyone vs. Mimi Imfurst” fight from All Stars season one, with Drü as Raven, Lady Boi as Mimi Imfurst and Eva as Tammie Brown, shouting “change your costume, change it around” over their argument.


Cookie, Honey and Nicole recreate the “Tyra’s a complete bitch” fight from season two, with Nicole as Tyra, Cookie as Tatianna, and, despite not her not even being on season two, Honey as Mimi Imfurst, doing a jolly little dance in the background.


After each group performs their scenes, Ru gathers the girls and announces that the winners are Team Cookie, Honey and Nicole. At this moment, the real Mimi Imfurst bursts into the werkroom and demands royalties for the use of her likeness.

[MB.]

Episode #2 - Memes Come True
Part Two

Ru then announces that, of their team, Cookie and Nicole stood out especially, and that they will therefore be the two competing team captains in this week’s main challenge: an ever-so-slightly self-referential lip sync musical extravaganza paying tribute to some of the best-known RuPaul’s Drag Race memes. Ru announces that each queen will play a different Drag Race character, and that as team captains, it was up to Cookie and Nicole to pick their teams. As the MVP in the mini challenge, Nicole would get to choose first, and therefore have an extra member in her team. The teams, in the order that they’re chosen, are as follows:

Team Nicole
Nicole Lynn Foxxx
Honey Davenport
Valentine Addams
Eva Young
Big Dee
Yvie Oddly
Drü Holiday

Team Cookie
Cookie ****y
Rafaella Pop
Jessica L’Whor
VinChelle
Lady Boi
Bombalicious Eklaver

Drü says in a confessional that she isn’t sure why she was picked last. “Maybe it’s because I’m young. Maybe it’s because I don’t lip sync as much as the other queens. Maybe they just don’t like my makeup. Whatever it is, now’s the perfect opportunity to stand out.” She, Yvie and Eva high five as they get to work learning their team’s script and assigning the roles. Nicole takes her leadership position seriously, and quickly gives each queen her character before asking if anyone has any complaints. Everyone seems happy, especially Honey with her role of Latrice Royale (“yaaaaaas!”), although Big Dee later takes Valentine aside and whispers if she noticed if it was odd that Nicole immediately took the biggest role, Jasmine Masters, for herself. “To be fair, I’d do the same thing if I were her,” Valentine replies. “Get them coins, bitch.”

Over on the other team, Cookie decides to let the queens chose their roles for themselves, which leads to some confusion when both Jessica and Lady Boi go for the role of Valentina. Jessica tries to convince Lady Boi to allow her the role by shouting “IT’S ME, BALENTINA!” in her best worst Spanish accent, but eventually backs down and begrudgingly accepts the role of Phi Phi O’Hara. At the same time, Bombalicious is sat giving her team stink eye, possibly in frustration with their time-wasting but also with her role of Thorgy Thor (“I wanted Laganja Estranja, she has a much better part”, she explains in a confessional, and now has her script face down on the table in protest).

Once roles have been assigned and lines have been learnt, the teams take to the main stage to rehearse the choreography for their respective numbers. There, they are met by the dancing queen of Texas, Kennedy Davenport, who is ready to teach them their routines. First up are Team Cookie, and all goes relatively well until Bombalicious’ solo segment, where it becomes clear that she hasn’t memorised her part as well as the other girls. “It’ll come to me,” a somewhat bored-looking Bombalicious keeps saying, before Kennedy snaps. “Nah bitch, this ain’t the time for it to come to you. You gotta be ready now,” she says, staring intensely at Bombalicious as she does so. Lady Boi follows on from Bombalicious and shows her how it should be done, with Jessica watching on from the sidelines, looking a tad jealous that she isn’t Valentina. Once the team finish, VinChelle says that Bombalicious needs to put her personal peeves aside and find a way to bring it on the night, or she could sink the whole team with her attitude. “I don’t want some Titanic situation up in here! I don’t want to be no Kate Winslet!”

Team Nicole are next, and Big Dee confesses that although choreography isn’t her strong suit and she’s slightly afraid of messing up in the group routine, her solo segment requires minimal movement, so “fingers crossed the judges just look at that and don’t pay attention to the rest of it.” Yvie, determined to impress after last week, shows Kennedy some improvised choreography that she thought she’d bring to her role of Coco Montrese, and gets the thumbs up. Kennedy also gets her life from Nicole’s Jasmine Masters, during which Big Dee and Valentine share a knowing look. However, Kennedy asks Valentine to give a “larger than life” performance of Stacy Layne Matthews, “because at the moment I’m getting Stacy Layne Matth-snooze.” Finally, the time comes to rehearse the group segment. Most of the queens show themselves to be capable of the fast choreography, but as she feared, Big Dee falls behind, and loses her place in the routine completely when she manages to kick her shoe off and fall into Eva at the same time. “Girl, I know you playing Charlie Hides, but you don’t have to take the method acting that far,” Kennedy advises, before realising that Big Dee really is that bad at choreography. “They’re gonna me-me her ass off,” she warns.

[MB.]

Episode #2 - Memes Come True
Part Three

The next day, and with the upcoming elimination playing on their minds, the queens work on perfecting their Best Drag looks for this week’s runway. Rafaella shows off her outfit, an expensive-looking blue gown, to the other queens. “How many sugar daddies did you have to get through to be able to afford that?” asks a stunned Valentine. Honey delicately brushes the oversized cartoon wig that she plans to wear and Jessica sorts through the paint she’ll apply to her face to create her look, while several queens gush over Bombalicious’ ornate dress, which reflects her Asian heritage. “I didn’t care much for this challenge,” Bombalicious says to the camera as she displays the dress on her work station. “I don’t like working in teams, so this wasn’t a fun week for me. I haven’t even learned the lip sync yet. But I figured that I could totally bomb in the challenge and still get through if I show the judges what I can do on the runway, and in my opinion, this is the best drag they’ll see tonight. Mark my words.”

Across the werkroom, Nicole confesses to Yvie that she’s beginning to get worried. “I'm seeing all these gorgeous looks,” she says, looking around the room, “and I know mine isn’t up to that standard. I’m a little scared that the judges will think my look is basic, and then it's as if my performance in the challenge will have been for nothing.” Yvie gives Nicole a hug and reminds her that it takes all kinds of drag to make a world. Elsewhere, Drü talks to Lady Boi about how her look is “classic Drü Holiday” and how she hopes that the judges will get her style of drag, as she was safe last week and didn’t have the chance to be critiqued. “I really want to stamp my name onto this competition,” she confesses, “and there’s no better time like the present, is there?”

As the runway approaches, Lady Boi notices some gold jewellery atop Bombalicious’ work station. “I have the exact same jewellery, girl, snap. I was going to wear mine tonight but I couldn’t find it. Where did you get it?” Bombalicious’ eyes dart around the room, and she pauses before saying that she inherited it from her grandmother. Lady Boi nods tentatively, and says in a confessional, “I’m not saying she stole my jewellery, but I’m not not saying the bitch stole my jewellery. Girl, your dress is already stunning, you don’t need to mop my jewellery! What do you think you’re playing at?”

Ru walks down the runway and welcomes the judges - Michelle Visage, Ross Mathews, and tonight’s extra special guest judges, comedian Sasheer Zamata and actress Jane Krakowski - to the show, before introducing tonight’s maxi challenge, a lip synced musical celebration of some of the most legendary memes in Drag Race herstory.

[MB.]

Episode #2 - Memes Come True
Part Four - Team Nicole

(in advance, Ammi, I'm sorry :laugh:)

If I Meme (to the tune of If I Dream)

fLp2HSNtUyE

Eva is stood alone on stage, in a spotlight.

Eva Young as Roxxxy Andrews (singing):
Night after night, I make it clear
Rolaskatox is why I’m here
With my shaw and sequinsed gown
Might miss the bus but I’ll steal the crown

The lights then come up and Honey bursts on, fanning herself.

Honey Davenport as Latrice Royale (rapping):
Large and in charge, like a biscuit
I mop it up and then I eat it
Chunky yet funky, glamour and grace
Get those nuts away from my face

Yvie, Drü, Big Dee, Valentine and Nicole all take to the stage and start dancing in unison.

All (singing):
If I meme
Everything I wanna meme
If I dream
Ru gets a new hairstyling team
If you just believe
Ru could get a weave
That’s not askew
Delta, we blame you-oo-oo

Yvie steps forward, holding a bag of crisps.

Yvie Oddly as Coco Montrese (rapping):
Here she is, the Dorito queen
Just as orange as I’ve always been
Every week I bring it to the ball
And I’m not joking bitch, oh at all

She and Drü square up and make faces at each other.

Drü Holiday as Alyssa Edwards (rapping):
Awright bitch, I’ll slay the beast
Rigga morris from west to east
Just believe in all your goals
And you’ll achieve anything… backrolls?!

All (singing):
If I meme
Everything I wanna meme
If I dream
A hottie covered in whipped cream
If you just believe
In your wildest dreams
They might come true
Here's the pit crew

The pit crew take to the stage and awkwardly spray whipped cream onto themselves, before being pushed out of the way by Big Dee.

Big Dee as Charlie Hides: *stands on the spot in the middle of the stage for about a minute, with her mouth closed, swaying gently from side to side, before shouting “I WAS FEIGNING MASTURBATION, OKAY?” and walking off*

Valentine steps up to the stage.

Valentine Addams as Stacy Layne Matthews (rapping):
I’ll let you lick my red cake, honey
Even though it costs a lot of ****ing money
I’m a country queen, the best in the biz
So someone tell me who the **** Heather is

She makes way for Nicole.

Nicole Lynn Foxxx as Jasmine Masters (rapping):
Listen up bitch, I got a challenge for you
Get a job, wash yo puss, do you hear me Ru?
My kuht-kuht’s jush, I don’t mean to brag
But RuPaul Drag Race have ****ed up drag

Everyone comes together for the final verse.

All, lead by Jasmine (singing):
****ed up drag
RuPaul Drag Race ****ed up drag
****ed up drag
RuPaul Drag Race ****ed up drag
If you wash yo puss
It won’t smell like must
Head cheerleader’s me
LaQuisha Kiane

If I meme….

The queens briefly strike an end pose, but they realise that the pit crew are trying to escape and chase after them, leaving Charlie awkwardly standing on the stage again.

[MB.]

Episode #2 - Memes Come True
Part Four - Team Cookie

The Memeness (to the tune of The Realness)

9jrUibTfAVI

Team Cookie are all on stage and stood around a giant roulette wheel.

All (singing):
Real is what you meme
Memes aren’t what they seem
Drop your standards down
It’s time to meet the team

The memeness
Th-the memeness

Jessica, sat in a cardboard car, scoots forward.

Jessica L'Whor as Phi Phi O'Hara (rapping):
Jump in a car to Party City
I can make you hate me with this four-line ditty
I play the villain with the cards I’m dealt
You tried to hug me? I SAID I FELT!

Cookie appears from under a table, wearing a 'no smoking' sign on her head.

Cookie ****y as Laganja Estranja (rapping):
Just like Nina shoulda been Blac Chyna
You shoulda sought treatment for your dry vajoina
Death dropping for the gawds and that’s a fact
I’m sick’ning and feeling very attacked!

All (singing):
Feel it!
The memeness, th-the memeness
Catch it, touch it
Touch it, catch it
Flavour of this fever

Feel it!
The memeness, th-the memeness
Catch it, test it
Yep, it’s sepsis
That explains the fever

Cookie coughs. Rafaella descends from the ceiling, straddling a giant microphone.

Rafaella Pop as Derrick Barry (rapping):
It’s Derrick, bitch, and I’d like to stress
That I sewed every damn hem on this dress
I love my two boyfriends like I love to rhyme
So I’ll hit this baby two more times

Bombalicious steps forward.

Bombalicious Eklaver as Thorgy Thor (rapping):
Woo! Feeling thorgeous to the max
I’m over here munching on fruit snacks
My energy’s soaring from all this fructose
Wanna send me home? Aw Jesus, gross

All (singing):
Put your money down
Drop your panties down
Our ratings are going down
Make a meme and post it
On Reddit
On Reddit
On Reddit
On Reddit
MEME IT!

Lady Boi enters, walking on a trail of rose petals thrown down by her fellow queens.

Lady Boi as Valentina (rapping):
I’m beautiful, perfect, a Latin sensation
Serving fan favourite in every nation
Getting red M&Ms and the highest fees
The crown? I’d like to keep it on please

Finally, Vivacious walks on stage, with VinChelle perched precariously on top of her head.

VinChelle as Ornacia (rapping):
They know my name from here to Croatia
Mother has arrived, yes it’s me, Ornacia
Bebe don’t know me? Well, that’s treason
Cause I’m the queen and that’s the gag of the season

All (singing):
The memeness
Doesn’t really matter if it’s funny (th-the memeness)
The memeness
We’re clearly all just in this for the money (th-the paycheck)
None of this is real (the memeness)
It’s just a dream (th-the memeness)
Is it a dream? (psychosis)
Nope, it’s all real (y-you know this)
The memeness…

The queens all jostle for the spotlight at the end, with Vivacious ending up with all the glory.

[MB.]

Episode #2 - Memes Come True
Part Five - The Runway

Following the performance, Ru introduces the runway theme: Best Drag.

-----

Rafaella Pop's best drag look is a blue gown, complete with feathery headdress, that's a cross between Las Vegas showgirl and Mad Max.

https://i.imgur.com/SKJjmwP.png

Bombalicious Eklaver is feeling her geisha fantasy in her red and gold look.

https://i.imgur.com/09RW4te.png

Nicole Lynn Foxx wears a long gold dress that shimmers as she sashays down the runway.

https://i.imgur.com/wb5QtGh.png

VinChelle opts for classic glamour, wearing a red gown with matching fur shawl and an oversized pearl necklace, which I'm sure won't be used as a source for humour whatsoever.

https://i.imgur.com/LZEIViX.png

Drü Holiday, showing the judges what she can do, wears a black dress, long black gloves and a horned headpiece.

https://i.imgur.com/lbwMDkB.png

Yvie Oddly wears a feathery ballet-style, almost birdlike outfit, complete with black pumps.

https://i.imgur.com/pUSYV2W.png

Lady Boi wears a bold red and black leotard and thigh-high red boots. In place of her missing jewellery, she wears a red and black choker.

https://i.imgur.com/olhhBhK.png

Jessica L'Whor's best drag is a typically understated multicoloured neon alien lizard look, which gives the judges "It Came From Outer Space to Give Your Wardrobe a Makeover" realness.

https://i.imgur.com/w2WwsA8.png

Honey Davenport wears a diamond-encrusted silver leotard and exaggerated colourful hair, which she uses to adopt a cartoon character persona as she walks down the runway.

https://i.imgur.com/OePDB9l.png

Big Dee has chosen to don a glamorous blue-and-white First Lady-type dress, complete with white faux fur hat.

https://i.imgur.com/IcMwhTx.png

Eva Young wears a gothic black feathery dress that serves Black Swan/sexy bird of prey realness.

https://i.imgur.com/fFjPQbI.png

Valentine Addams is wearing a bright pink faux fur shawl and big purple hair alongside a nude diamond-encrusted dress.

https://i.imgur.com/IEuhbGR.png

Cookie ****y lives up to her name and serves us candy store couture in this bubblegum-inspired pink ensemble, complete with multicoloured headpiece.

https://i.imgur.com/497KElo.png

[MB.]

Episode #2 - Memes Come True
Part Six - The Deliberation

The queens are gathered for the judges’ critiques. Ru clarifies that although the queens competed in teams, they will be judged as individuals, before calling VinChelle, Rafaella, Cookie, Lady Boi, Jessica and Eva as safe. “Well, at least Lady Boi isn’t in the top either,” Jessica says in a confessional. As the safe queens untuck backstage, several queens tell VinChelle that her look warranted a place in the top over Yvie and Drü (joking that it was a-head of the competition, because lol Ornacia), Lady Boi spills the tea about suspecting that Bombalicious stole her jewellery to wear on the runway, and VinChelle says she senses tension between Jessica and both Eva and Lady Boi.

Ru announces that Honey, Yvie, Drü, Big Dee, Valentine, Nicole and Bombalicious represent the tops and bottoms of the week. The judges say that although Yvie’s look doesn’t scream “best drag”, her performance in the challenge shows that her head is now in the game, and they commend her for stepping her pussy up from last week. The judges also say that Yvie and Drü worked brilliantly as a double act in the challenge, with Drü as the Alyssa to Yvie’s Coco, and shower praise onto Drü’s runway look as well as her comedy chops. However, Michelle then wags her finger and tells Drü, “your makeup is all sorts of wrong… I love it!”

Big Dee’s runway look is complimented, although the judges note that her hairline is somewhat suspect. “What can I say,” Big Dee smiles, “my wig must have a life of its own.” Ross notes that while he enjoyed her comedic take on Charlie Hides, it was clear that she was focusing on trying to get the choreography right in the group segment, and as a result both her dancing and her lip syncing got a little muddy. The judges tell Valentine that they felt her Stacy Layne Matthews was too reserved for such a big persona, and say that her runway looks a little cheap. “Especially that lilac muff on your head,” says Michelle, to which Jane responds “I love a lilac muff!” and draws a love heart in Valentine’s direction.

The judges all tell Bombalicious that they could tell she didn’t feel comfortable in the performance, and that she faded into the background, even during her solo segment. “You were Thorgy Thor for crying out loud,” exclaims Michelle. “You shouldn’t forget Thorgy Thor in a hurry.” Bombalicious replies that she didn’t feel “engaged with the material”, to which Ru echoes Kennedy’s earlier comments by saying that sometimes a queen just has to get on with the things she has to do, regardless of if she likes it or not, in a tone that just stops short of “I don’t want any goddamn excuses!”. However, the judges all express love for her runway look, including her choice of jewellery (which Bombalicious takes credit for) and by the end of the critique Bombalicious looks confident that she’s done enough to survive.

Sasheer tells Honey that she owned the stage as Latrice Royale, while Ross says that she may not have been large, but she was most definitely in charge, praising her ability to take a comparatively small role and make it seem big. Michelle mentions that she loves seeing Honey show different sides to her drag with tonight’s playful, cartoon-ish looks, when she could have taken the easy route and gone for glamour like many of the other queens. Finally, Jane tells Nicole that she “slayed” the performance (“slayed? Am I saying that right? Or is it slew? How about slewed?”), but Michelle is ambivalent about her outfit on the runway. “You look nice, sure, but it’s a plain gold dress with no padding. You could have done so much more and I think it’s a shame that you didn’t.” Nicole nods as if in agreement. Ru then tells the queens to untuck backstage while the judges deliberate.

A while later, the queens return to the main stage and Ru announces that she has made her decision.

“Drü Holiday… you’re safe.”

“Yvie Oddly, this week, your Coco drove us cuckoo… in a good way. You’re safe.”

“Nicole Lynn Foxx, this week, you Jasmine Mastered the art of lip sync performance. Congradulations, you’re the winner of this week’s challenge… is what I would be saying if it weren’t for that dress. You’re safe.”

“Honey Davenport, this week, you took us to church, and I’d let you sop me up any day of the week… congradulations, you’re the winner of this week’s challenge.”

Honey jumps up and down in excitement, before being told that she’s won a custom gown and a diamond necklace for her efforts.

“Valentine Addams, this week, we were not... in love with your runway presentation. Big Dee, your Charlie Hides did not give us what we… seek. Bombalicious Eklaver, your Thorgy Thor was ever so slightly… Thorkward…”

“...Big Dee, you’re safe.”

Big Dee thanks the judges and yanks her wig down as she walks off. This leaves Bombalicous Eklaver and Valentine Addams as the bottom two.

“Two queens stand before me,” Ru continues. “This is your last chance to impress me, and save yourself from elimination.” Valentine confesses that “it’s time to work harder than I’ve ever worked before”, while Bombalicious remains confused that her outfit wasn’t enough to save her from lip syncing. “Is there some kind of mistake? I killed that runway!”, she asks in her confessional. “The time has come, to lip sync, for your life…”

[MB.]

Episode #2 - Memes Come True
Part Seven - The Lip Sync

https://i.imgur.com/Dl8LoAg.png https://i.imgur.com/Rx1UTPW.png

Bombalicious Eklaver vs. Valentine Addams
BURNITUP! (Janet Jackson feat. Missy Elliott)

3QvdrmRphjc

While Bombalicious seems over the whole gig and puts little effort into her lip sync, Valentine takes advantage of her opponent's lack of enthusiasm and in turn cranks hers up to 180%, rapping along to the music and dancing so furiously that Cookie says she fears the stage might break. That said, she manages to combine fun, sass, humour and the will to survive into her performance, and by the end has all the queens and judges on her side.

After the lip sync, Ru tells the queens that she has made her decision.

“Valentine Addams, shantay you stay,” Ru declares. A grateful Valentine sighs in relief and kisses Bombalicious' painted face before stepping to the back of the stage.

“Bombalicious Eklaver,” Ru continues. “Miss Thang, you put the gay into geisha, and now I'm forever an Eklaver lover. Now, sashay away.”

Bombalicious nods, picks up her skirt and walks down the runway with her head held perhaps a little too high. With a final hiss, she's gone.

Backstage, she says that she's still in shock that she was eliminated, and wonders if Ru is due for an eye test any time soon. As she prepares to leave, Ru’s voice is heard on the TV screen. “Don’t lose hope yet, my queen,” the message says. “For the race is long.”

“I knew it was all an elaborate joke,” Bombalicious insists upon hearing the message. "I bet I'm actually the winner."

To be continued...

[RileyH]

omg iconic :amazed: :love:

Would've rather had Bombalicious stay tho :(

[MB.]

Episode 3 survey (https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/79BYSLZ)

I'll give you slightly longer for this one, so you've got until Saturday afternoon, when I'll collect the results and write the episode :)

[Daniel-X]

Brilliant episode! Sad to see the back of Bomba she was giving me Phi-Phi levels of villain :(

Yvie is probably my solid favourite now

[Ammi]

..:laugh:...(..MB your so gracious and kind..:hug:..)...

...for some reason If I Dream became I Dreamed a Dream in my head...when I looked at the lyrics I thought, hmmmm I’m not sure that’s going to fit ...but obviously they did because I’d misread it and connected the wrong song to your lyrics MB...I mean those lyrics so fit...so, so fit..:laugh:...Bombalicious though..:sad:...she’ did though seem like a much more confident lady than Amanda...so it didn’t quite feel so sad for her to be sashayed away...what happened I wonder with the necklace as well../..Lady Boi’s necklace...I hope she left it and didn’t take it...the outfits in the runway theme are all so stunning and glamourous..:lovedup:...the thought, detail, time etc with all of this MB is just wow...Rafaella’s I think was my favourite runway style because she looked incredible in that blue...but all of them were very regal and fabulous..:love:...

...this is all just so spectacular...:lovedup:...such a great concept and so well done ...I did the survey but cringe again at my mirror message..:laugh:...I’m thinking work places could be more Ru Paul..and have a mirror in their staff room...and everyone could leave a mirror message for their boss at the end of each working day...actually in meetings etc as well...mirrors and lipsticks replacing whiteboards and markers ..fabulous...this is all fabulous MB, you really do have so much talent..:love:...

[MB.]

Ammi :love:

If anyone else fancies casting a vote, you've got until the end of today to do so :)

[Wizard.]

I need to catch up on the WoW app.

[MB.]

Ammi :love:

If anyone else fancies casting a vote, you've got until the end of today to do so :)

(lol guess not)

I promise I'll be writing the show tomorrow, so you have until some unspecified time in the next 24 hours!

[Shaun]

I was away when this started and thought "yes just jump straight in when you get home" but oh boy this is a lot to catch up with :worry:

[Shaun]

Admittedly I am stuck at the boy photos of Dru, tbf

[MB.]

I was away when this started and thought "yes just jump straight in when you get home" but oh boy this is a lot to catch up with :worry:

Yeah, sorry, I tend to write a bit too much :laugh: Once there are fewer queens and fewer storylines to introduce, the episodes will get slimmer, I promise

(I'm in the middle of writing episode 3 now, btw)

[Shaun]

I'll do the survey now if it's not too late :worry: I am slain by your Meme songs

[MB.]

I'll do the survey now if it's not too late :worry: I am slain by your Meme songs

Not too late at all! I'm a versatile queen!

(and ta x)

[MB.]

(I'm having to do this on my phone, so it's taking a little longer than I'd expected :laugh:)

[MB.]

Episode #3 - Drag Queens on Ice
Part One

Scene: the werkroom, after Bombalicious’ elimination.

“Well, that was eventful,” Nicole laughs as the queens enter the werkroom. “Damn this flat ass!” she says, trying to lighten the mood by referring to the judges’ critique that she would have won the challenge if not for her runway presentation (and more specifically, her lack of padding). After that, there’s silence as Valentine cleans the mirror of Bombalicious’ lipstick message:

“Aw Jesus gross! L O L. Y’all know this ain’t right, but don't be shady ladies. p.s. thanks 4 the jewellery Ladee Boy. [sic] Can you hear me ticking? Bomb. x”

The queens stand around and stare at the mirror. “There’s a lot to unpack there, huh?” VinChelle asks herself rhetorically. “If I see that jewellery turn up on Antiques Roadshow next week, I’m cutting a bitch,” Lady Boi half-jokes, half-threatens as she volunteers to help Valentine finish the job. Eventually, attention turns to Jessica, who is standing noticeably further away from the other queens, especially Lady Boi and Eva. Big Dee eloquently asks her what’s “crawled up her ass”, before Jessica replies, telling the group that she feels it’s unfair that “certain queens” are getting recognition “despite not putting in as much effort as the rest of us.” When Drü asks for names, Jessica mentions Eva, Lady Boi and Yvie, the latter of whom is taken aback. “I knew I didn’t make the greatest first impression with these girls,” Yvie says in a confessional, “but for my Denver sister to have turned on me really sucks. I wasn’t getting that vibe from her at all, but now at least I know which game she’s playing. In the wise words of Alyssa Edwards, don’t get bitter, just get better.”

“If this is still about me getting the role she wanted, I swear to god,” Lady Boi complains to Yvie on the couch in the corner of the werkroom, referencing drama that arose during the previous week’s maxi challenge. “I didn’t even win! If she wants to drag someone, go for someone who’s been clocked by the judges, like Valentine, or Dee. Or, I love her, but Nicole.”

As the queens eventually remember to congratulate Honey on her challenge win, Eva stands at her station, folding her gown and putting it away. Jessica stands across the room, staring her down. “Oh my god, it’s like a Western,” says Cookie, caught between the two in the middle of the room. “Django Untucked, more like,” agrees Nicole from behind her station. As Eva and Jessica lock eyes intently, a naked Rafaella dramatically runs through the middle of them and past Cookie, shouting “I lost my boobs! I lost my boobs!” and flapping her arms manically. As VinChelle begins to wonder in the ghost of Bombalicious is haunting the werkroom and stealing the queens’ possessions, Rafaella explains that she left her breastplate somewhere in the room and can’t remember where. “Long story short,” Honey says in a confessional, “we’ve all gone mad and it’s only episode three. Lord Jesus help us all.”

[MB.]

Episode #3 - Drag Queens on Ice
Part Two

The next morning, things are still tense between certain queens, although Rafaella is at least in high spirits, having managed to find her breastplate (“it was in my boob drawer!”). Boy Ru enters the werkroom and tells the queens he hopes they’ve packed their thermals, because winter’s coming. “Don’t tell me Shangela’s back again,” Cookie groans, before Ru clarifies that he’s talking about the Winter Olympics, despite the fact that in reality they happened a month and a half ago. For this week’s mini challenge, the queens will be acting out Winter Olympic sports, but first, they’d have to be sorted into pairs. Announcing that he’s been sitting on a secret, Ru unveils a long list of paper from inside his waistband and tells the queens that based on track record so far, their pairs have been decided and are as follows:

Eva, who won the first maxi challenge, will be paired with Valentine, who survived last week’s lip sync
Honey, who won the first mini challenge and last week’s maxi challenge, will be paired with Big Dee, who narrowly avoided last week’s lip sync
Lady Boi, who received positive feedback in week one, will be paired with Yvie, who survived the first lip sync but received positive feedback last week
Jessica, who received positive feedback in week one, will be paired with Cookie, who has been safe both weeks so far
VinChelle will be paired with Rafaella, as they have both been safe both weeks so far
Nicole, who has received positive feedback both weeks, will be paired with Drü, who received positive feedback last week

Jessica seems happy, although this may just be relief that she isn’t partnered with any of her new nemeses. The pairs divide themselves into performers and guessers, and the mini challenge begins:


Valentine, as performer, has to act out bobsleigh to Eva, the guesser. As Eva instead guesses that her partner is acting out the well-known Winter Olympic sport of “go-karting”, they fail the mini challenge.


Big Dee, as performer, has to act out speed skating to Honey, the guesser. Honey guesses that Big Dee is “doing some fancy running or something”, and as a result they fail the mini challenge.


Yvie, as performer, has to act out snowboarding to Lady Boi, the guesser. Lady Boi guesses correctly and then decides to chest bump Yvie in celebration.


Jessica, as performer, has to act out curling to Cookie, the guesser. Cookie spends several minutes promising that she knows the name of the sport without actually saying it, before copying Jessica’s actions and hoping that it will suffice in place of an answer. When a frustrated Jessica tells her that she was acting out curling, Cookie exclaims that she’s never going to be allowed back into Canada ever again.


Drü, as performer, has to act out ice hockey to Nicole, the guesser. Nicole guesses correctly, but not before pointing out, “I’m from Louisiana… we don’t have ice in Louisiana!”


Finally Rafaella, as performer, has to act out skeleton to VinChelle, the guesser. Rafaella presumably gets the wrong end of the stick, as she instead does some kind of strange interpretative dance that involves shaking about and doing zombie arms. Somehow, rather remarkably, VinChelle manages to guess correctly within seconds.


Once the queens are done embarrassing themselves, Ru reveals that as Rafaella and VinChelle were quickest to get a correct answer, they win this week’s mini challenge. Rafaella looks confused. Ru then tells the queens that they’d better be getting along with their partner, because they’ll also be working in their pairs (at which Jessica looks a lot less happy than she did before) for the maxi challenge, which is to choreograph and perform ice dance routines worthy of Olympic gold medals. Several queens’ jaws drop to the floor in horror, before Ru stresses that they won’t actually be ice skating, rather roller skating on a floor that’ll be made up to look like ice. Nonetheless, Big Dee still looks as if she’s about to faint, and a number of queens begin to wish that they’d been able to choose their own pairs.

[MB.]

Episode #3 - Drag Queens on Ice
Part Three

The pairs, who’ve been supplied with practice ice skates to try on despite not having to do so in the challenge itself, get to work on creating their ice dance routines. Among the few queens that seem at all confident are Nicole, who considers herself a dancing queen (but repeats that there’s no ice in Louisiana, which may prove a hurdle), and Jessica, who says she’s up for the challenge that Ru has given her, although she expresses her concern over a lack of chemistry with Cookie following their not-so-great coordination in the mini challenge. “But at least I’m not with that bitch Eva,” she laughs as she repeatedly and menacingly stabs her work station with her ice skate.

Speaking of Eva, she and partner Valentine are sat around their work bench, trying to come up with a concept for their routine. Each pair has been given a different Britney Spears track to perform to, and Eva and Valentine have been tasked with choreographing a number to the song Everytime. “The problem is, it’s really slow, and everyone else has upbeat songs, so we’re going to stand out no matter what we do,” Eva says, rubbing her temples. Valentine suggests that they go down the comedy route, as both queens have admitted that they’re not great at skating and the judges may find their performance boring if they play it straight. “Eva isn’t convinced yet, but I think comedy is our only option,” Valentine says in a confessional. “I nearly went home last week because I didn’t stand out enough, and I can’t risk the same thing happening twice in a row. We’re just going to have to pull up our leg warmers and, somehow, make those judges laugh.” In a separate confessional, Eva says although she and Valentine have a strong Chicago bond, she may end up having to step in and overrule her sister on this particular decision.

Meanwhile, Lady Boi and Yvie work on their choreography to Gimme More, but Yvie admits that she’s distracted, and not just by the sound of Jessica slamming the blade of her ice skate into the table while yelling profanities. “I’m still feeling a little bit shaken by what Jessica said about me earlier,” she confesses. “It’s hard to concentrate on the task at hand when someone you’ve known for a long time turns on you for no apparent reason. She’s my sister and I’m going to have to talk it out with her to find out what’s going on, but I might have to wait until she’s less… well, violent for a start.” As she jots down notes on their performance, Lady Boi looks around the room and sees Rafaella doing somersaults around partner VinChelle, before landing into a split. “I never thought I’d see the day where VinChelle gets upstaged by someone,” Lady Boi mutters to Yvie as Rafaella walks the length of the werkroom on her hands. “Such unique choreography those two have...”

[MB.]

Episode #3 - Drag Queens on Ice
Part Four

Later that day, the queens go to practice their routines in a specially-constructed performance area, where they’re met by guest coach, Olympic bronze medallist figure skater and professional Twitter icon Adam Rippon, who’s here to put the queens through their paces on the so-called ice. As they arrive in the studio and lay eyes on Adam, Honey fangirls a little while Big Dee dickpigs a lot. The queens prepare to show him their choreography to Break the Ice, but not before Big Dee warns that she probably will literally break the ice, even though Adam reminds her that it isn’t real ice. Of the two, Honey is clearly more natural in skates, and is also slightly better at remembering the routine, as Big Dee keeps stopping and asking her partner what the next move is. “You can’t do this on the night, ladies,” Adam says. “I didn’t pause in the middle of my Olympic program and ask for my line. Good god, get a grip girl.”

Two pairs decide to adopt the same technique in the routines that they perform for Adam: namely, both Nicole and Drü, performing to Slumber Party, and VinChelle and Rafaella (who as a team have christened themselves Blades of *****y), skating to Outrageous, decide to “lez it up” (Drü’s words, not mine) and spend more time simulating sex rather than actually dancing. However, Adam complains that Nicole and Drü’s routine “didn’t even give him a semi”, and Rafaella’s cartwheels, handstands and incessant grinding on VinChelle makes him laugh more than anything. “A little more work might be needed” is the advice he gives to both pairs, after which everyone goes off for a cigarette and a lie down in a dark room.

Adam is sceptical of Valentine’s decision to take a comedic approach in her and Eva’s performance to an emotional song, and suggests that they try their routine without the slapstick to see whether or not it would work. However, he soon realises that neither are particularly capable skaters, and tells them to go for as much comedy as they’d like in order to mask that fact. Next, he praises Lady Boi and Yvie’s energy in their practice performance, but asks them to work on their synchronisation, as “it’s all getting a little sloppy on the bottom. And I know a thing or two about sloppy bottoms.”

Finally, Jessica and Cookie take to the ‘ice’ for their routine to I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll, and Adam soon notices a problem. “Cookie, I’m not really getting rock and roll from your performance, and Jessica, I’m getting too much. Way, way, too much. I was wondering if there was any pent-up frustration you need to get out, because right now it looks like a bull chasing a mouse around the rink.” Jessica replies that she’s fine, and that she's probably just feeling the pressure of the challenge. “I’m not sure if either of us are ready for this performance,” Cookie says in a confession, adding that she’s slightly scared of Jessica right now.

[MB.]

Episode #3 - Drag Queens on Ice
Part Five

Just like that, it’s elimination day, and the queens are back in the werkroom, getting ready for both their ice dance performances and the runway, which has the theme Stars In Stripes. Jessica yawns and tells Cookie that she didn’t catch any sleep last night, and she isn’t sure why. “Maybe it’s the stress,” she tells herself, but Cookie isn’t convinced. She decides to go over to Eva and ask if she and Jessica would like to hash out their problems, as she suspects that Jessica is letting the tension get to her without wanting to admit it. “I think I’ll ask her on my own terms,” Eva replies. “I don’t want to butt in and make things worse, you know? We could end up with a Tonya Harding situation on our hands.”

As Cookie walks away and returns to her work bench, Eva makes last minute alterations to her runway look. “Oh my god, you bitch, that’s such a shoot,” Valentine says, admiring the fitted striped gown and custom ornate headpiece. “I feel like mine’s so basic compared to yours.” The sight of Eva’s dress actually makes Valentine rather emotional, and she begins telling Eva about her frustration. “It sucks,” she says, “because I live to perform and play characters and put on a show, and yet I’ve been underperforming in challenges I should be good at. And now I’m looking at your dress, and I feel like you’re out there doing Chicago proud and I’m letting them down.” Valentine wipes a tear away and laughs at herself as Eva reminds her partner that she’s “one of the fiercest bitches” she knows. “You just need to keep reminding yourself of that, because once you know it’s true then you’ll be able to prove it to the world. Now get out of my station, you *****.”

At the makeup table, various queens are applying their paint and telling jokes to pass the time. VinChelle insists they play “bang, marry, kill”, to which Honey replies, “oh, after today’s challenge, I’d do all three to Adam Rippon.” Big Dee then suggests they play the game with members of the Trump administration, adding, “I’d let Jeff Sessions be the Attorney General to my bussy any day of the week.” Jessica overhears the laughter from her work station and walks over. “Don’t joke about that,” she says, as Big Dee plans her marriage to Rex Tillerson. “I don’t want to hear anyone making jokes about the Trump administration as if they’re not still the enemy. Do I have to remind you guys how dangerous they are before you stop talking about which ones you’d like to kiki with? Seriously, grow up and have some respect.” Rafaella makes a face to the camera as Nicole mutters something about too much drama.

“Sit down, queen. You’re not the joke police,” Big Dee replies as she sticks an eyelash on. “I can talk about giving BJs to Mike Pence all I want, because it’s called a joke. Take a heavy dose of chill pills and calm your overdramatic ass.” Jessica turns and walks the other way, shaking her head and wondering who still uses the phrase “take a chill pill” in 2018.

Yvie notices the tension in the werkroom about to boil over, and decides to approach Jessica to talk things over. “Girl, this isn’t you,” Yvie says, rubbing her shoulder. “What’s eating you today? You’re not the queen I know and it’s making me really sad.” Jessica rubs her eyes and begins to cry. “I don’t know. I really don’t know. Maybe it’s the pressure of the competition, seeing queens who are just naturally smart and confident and popular and… I don’t know, better than me. You and I both know that I’m at the top of the Denver scene, and now all of a sudden I’m not at the top, even though I work my ass off each and every day to get there.” As Yvie wipes Jessica’s tears from her face, Jessica apologises if she’s been acting bitter towards other queens, including her. Yvie accepts this and tells Jessica that she understands the pressure she’s under, laughing that “we’ve both had it hard and it’s only episode three.” However, Yvie says she can’t promise that Lady Boi and Eva will be quite as forgiving.

[MB.]

Episode #3 - Drag Queens on Ice
Part Six - The Performances

Ru walks down the runway and welcomes the judges - Michelle Visage, Ross Mathews, and tonight’s extra special guest judges, Olympic figure skater Adam Rippon and actress Sarah Michelle Gellar - to the show, before introducing tonight’s maxi challenge.

Pair #1) Honey Davenport & Big Dee skate to Break the Ice (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQFIKP9rGhQ)

Pair #2) Nicole Lynn Foxx & Drü Holiday skate to Slumber Party (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RRY3OVqtwc)

Pair #3) Eva Young & Valentine Addams skate to Everytime (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YzabSdk7ZA)

Pair #4) Lady Boi & Yvie Oddly skate to Gimme More (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elueA2rofoo)

Pair #5) Jessica L'Whor & Cookie ****y skate to I Love Rock 'n' Roll (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITuOddPeYoc)

Pair #6) VinChelle & Rafaella Pop skate to Outrageous (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWBKCzzNEeo)

[MB.]

Episode #3 - Drag Queens on Ice
Part Seven - The Runway

Once all the pairs have performed, Ru introduces tonight’s runway theme: Stars In Stripes.

-----

Honey Davenport:

https://i.imgur.com/fkQREWm.png

Big Dee:

https://i.imgur.com/VuVkcc5.png

Nicole Lynn Foxx:

https://i.imgur.com/PKOjVBI.png

Drü Holiday:

https://i.imgur.com/RuZOMOR.png

Eva Young:

https://i.imgur.com/VYRkxpm.png

Valentine Addams:

https://i.imgur.com/fl6QkIH.png

Lady Boi:

https://i.imgur.com/OptNcQy.png

Yvie Oddly:

https://i.imgur.com/hImdFZT.png

Jessica L'Whor:

https://i.imgur.com/d1cKpWY.png

Cookie ****y:

https://i.imgur.com/4KQnETn.png

VinChelle:

https://i.imgur.com/pwoj5XW.png

Rafaella Pop:

https://i.imgur.com/7pv1Ccp.png

[MB.]

Episode #3 - Drag Queens on Ice
Part Eight - The Deliberation

The queens are gathered for the judges’ critiques. Ru announces that as the queens competed in pairs, they’ll be judged as such. Eva gulps.

Firstly, the judges tell Honey that they would quite literally die for her runway look, and praise her “can-do” attitude in the challenge. “Well, that’s one half of the pair out the way,” Michelle says, before moving onto Big Dee, prompting Honey to stand in front of her partner to protect her from whatever onslaught is coming. “You’re not a natural on the ice,” Adam gently tells Big Dee, crushing her life-long dream of competing at the 2022 games. Ross tells her that while her runway look isn’t the most flashy, it certainly isn’t the worst. VinChelle and Rafaella’s ice dance routine, meanwhile, is given the thumbs up from the judges, with Sarah commenting that it managed to entertain her without looking as though they’d made it up on the spot, and Ross giving special praise to Rafaella for her performance. Michelle says that Rafaella perhaps took the runway theme a little too literally, but Adam says she almost looks good enough to turn him straight. “It’s comforting to know that the most patriotic person here is the one from Spain,” Ross deadpans.

The judges rave over Nicole’s runway presentation, and point out that she would have won last week if she’d looked anywhere near as good. “Thanks, I guess?” Nicole laughs in response to this almost-compliment. Drü also receives complimentary feedback on her look, but the judges are more hesitant when it comes to their routine. “It felt safe. I wanted drag, but for me it just… sagged,” says poet laureate Adam Rippon. “It was a fine performance, but with Britney, you want that extra bit of excitement. I didn’t get that,” adds Ross. For Eva and Valentine’s team, Eva gets glowing reviews for her fashion-forward gown, but that’s where the good news ends. Michelle tells Valentine that her look is “a bit pedestrian”, even though Ross says he’ll never not stan a beret. Their ice dance performance, which featured a lot of slapstick faces and rolling around on top of each other, was “kind of cringeworthy” according to Adam. Valentine accepts full responsibility for her “bad executive decision” and apologises to Eva.

“They’re not exactly my favourite,” says Michelle of Jessica and Cookie’s runway looks, although Adam says he likes Jessica’s use of colour and Sarah compliments Cookie’s starry eyes. “And then we have your routine,” Adam begins, looking over his notes and trying to work out how to phrase his critique, “where you didn’t seem very involved. All I got was disinterest.” Ross says he missed the energy that he usually gets from both Jessica and Cookie. Jessica bows her head throughout. Finally, the judges comment on Lady Boi and Yvie. Adam tells Yvie that her club kid-inspired look has him “gagged”, and for once Michelle agrees. “You have a real eye for freaky fashion. You killed it,” she smiles, as Lady Boi gets positive feedback (if not quite as positive as Yvie) for her 1960s-inspired outfit. Their ice dance routine receives unanimous praise, and Adam commends them on fixing their synchronisation issues to deliver “a tight, fun performance with no sloppy bottoms in sight.” Ross combines the pair’s fashion skills and ice skating proficiency into a single groan-worthy “Kristi Yama-Gucci” pun.

[MB.]

Episode #3 - Drag Queens on Ice
Part Nine - The Deliberation, cont.

Once the judges have deliberated, consulted with various professional ice skating judges from around the world and submitted their scores, the queens are called back to the main stage to hear Ru’s decisions.

“VinChelle and Rafaella Pop… you’re safe.”

“Lady Boi and Yvie Oddly, this week, you well and truly broke the ice. Condragulations, you’re the winners of this week’s challenge.”

A very excited Lady Boi and an even more excited Yvie chest bump in celebration, before being told that they’ve each won a Caribbean getaway and a year’s supply of tequila. They’re then both even more excited.

“Nicole Lynn Foxx and Drü Holiday… you’re safe.”

“Honey Davenport and Big Dee… you may not have been on the same level this week, but you’re safe.”

“Eva Young and Valentine Addams, this week, your slapstick made us… slap-sick. Jessica L’Whor and Cookie ****y… your routine had plenty of **** and lots of L’Whor, but I’m afraid we needed much, much more....”

“...Eva and Valentine, you’re safe.”

Valentine looks stunned and stands on the spot for several seconds too long, before hugging Eva and leaving the stage with her. This leaves Cookie ****y and Jessica L'Whor as the bottom two.

“Two queens stand before me,” Ru continues. “This is your last chance to impress me, and save yourself from elimination.” In a confessional, Jessica sighs that it’s been a tough week, but her conversation with Yvie has helped her see the competition in a new light, and she’d hate to leave before she has the chance to make amends with her sisters. “I have to do something to really stand out," she says. “The time has come, to lip sync, for your life…”

[MB.]

Episode #3 - Drag Queens on Ice
Part Ten - The Lip Sync

https://i.imgur.com/eo93pql.png https://i.imgur.com/pOlHHGp.png

Cookie ****y vs. Jessica L'Whor
Rasputin (Boney M)

kvDMlk3kSYg

The two queens both show that they're keen to stay and that, as the maxi challenge may have suggested, they're not completely inept at choreography, as Jessica and Cookie both pull out their best dance moves. Cookie shows the judges her best disco tricks, while Jessica goes for a wilder approach, taking time in the middle of her lip sync to drop to the floor and do some Cossack dancing. It's a more or less equal battle until the final chorus, when Jessica pulls out a Russian flag that she'd somehow managed to fit inside her tiny costume. As she waves the flag about in the breeze, the winner becomes clear.

After the lip sync, Ru tells the queens that she has made her decision.

“Jessica L'Whor, shantay you stay,” Ru declares. Jessica bursts into tears and uses her Russian flag as a massive hanky. Cookie embraces her in a hug and tells her to keep fighting.

“Cookie ****y,” Ru continues. “you showed us both your sweet and savoury sides, and let me tell you, they were a batch made in heaven. We wooden change you for the world. Now, sashay away.”

Cookie giggles, nods and smiles as she blows kisses to her other girls, several of whom (especially Rafaella) are crying. “Au revoir, my ladies. It was a pleasure,” she says, leaving the stage.

As she collects her trophy, Cookie says she has no regrets, but admits that being partnered with Jessica at “her... difficult time" probably did her no favours. Her goodbye speech is cut off by a sudden voice coming from the TV screen. “Don’t lose hope yet, my queen,” says Ru's voice. “For the race is long.”

Cookie drops and breaks her trophy in surprise, before asking if she has to pay for a replacement.

To be continued...

[MB.]

Things are going to be a little different this week. To speed things up a bit, the next survey will include both episode four and episode five. I'll remove whoever gets eliminated in episode four from the episode five results, if that makes sense:

Here's the episode four and five survey (https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/86FFM5Y)

You've got until Thursday, when I'll collect the results and write the episodes. Tyvm in advance, and extra thanks if you managed to read the tortuous dissertation that was episode three in its entirety :)

[MB.]

And finally, since I'm a nerd:

https://i.imgur.com/65lnjFu.png

https://i.imgur.com/AQhBsxe.png

[MB.]

0xRVtBHEI9w

for any more votes xo

[Ammi]

...another fabulous read MB as always..your just stunning at this...:lovedup:....i’ve just caught up and done the survey...Cookie though..:sad:...it’s becoming so hard to see any of these ladies sashay away...

[Ammi]

And finally, since I'm a nerd:

https://i.imgur.com/65lnjFu.png

https://i.imgur.com/AQhBsxe.png

...yeah you probably are a bit of a nerd as well..:laugh:...a very gorgeous nerd though...

[MB.]

...another fabulous read MB as always..your just stunning at this...:lovedup:....i’ve just caught up and done the survey...Cookie though..:sad:...it’s becoming so hard to see any of these ladies sashay away...

Greatly appreciated as ever <3

If I get my act together, episode four should be tonight!

[Shaun]

All 3 consistently 'safe' queens getting an extreme placing this week and ruining the chance of a Dida Ritz queen </3

[MB.]

All 3 consistently 'safe' queens getting an extreme placing this week and ruining the chance of a Dida Ritz queen </3

There'll only ever be one Dida Ritz and you know that, Shaun

[Shaun]

*Joslyn Fox looks away, embarrassed*

[MB.]

*Joslyn Fox looks away, embarrassed*

Joslyn Fox is a whole other beast entirely (and I for one am grateful for both :love:)

[MB.]

Episode four is on its way very soon, and it's a personal favourite of mine, if not just for the runway (I'm oh so egotistical like that)

[MB.]

Ladies and gentlemen and everyone in between, it's time to...

https://media.giphy.com/media/12dlFLhUFs0mas/giphy.gif

http://24.media.tumblr.com/ef952a97edec378ad9c66d80b063644b/tumblr_n3naozo7W71qzqtn5o1_500.gif

https://media1.tenor.com/images/231235eee776b4b3de745d8d9c622ae3/tenor.gif?itemid=6157281

[MB.]

But whatever you do, don't...

http://imageslogotv-a.akamaihd.net//uri/mgid:file:http:shared:s3.amazonaws.com/articles.newnownext.com-production/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/phi-phi-party-city-1474646335.gif

(yes, I'm trying to make it to a new page, can you tell)

[MB.]

Finally, some wise words from Tammie Brown...

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/CavernousShadowyIchthyosaurs-max-1mb.gif

(there, that should do it)

[MB.]

Episode #4 - Party Like a Mothertucker
Part One

Scene: the werkroom, after Cookie’s elimination.

The queens return to the werkroom, mumbling vaguely French-sounding words in tribute to their departed Canadian sister. The queens cheer on a still-emotional Jessica as she wipes Cookie’s final words from the mirror:

“Il y a vingt-cinq grammes d'héroïne non coupée cachée quelque part dans cette pièce. Amusez-vous, mesdames. (jk Kimora) -sincerely, your white chocolate chip Cookie xoxo”

“I can’t speak French, but I bet that says something real nice,” Honey smiles. As the queens give their congratulations to maxi challenge winners Lady Boi and Yvie (Big Dee tells them that they’ll soon put Torvill and Dean out of business. “Oh, those magician dudes who got bitten by a tiger?” replies Lady Boi), Jessica takes her time by herself at the mirror to calm down following an emotional few days. In a confessional, she talks about regretting her previous actions and hopes that she hasn’t alienated her fellow queens too much. “I got stuck in my own head and did things that I’d never normally do, and it impacted not only my performance in the competition but my personal relationships with these girls. Hopefully I have time to turn things around before it’s too late.”

[MB.]

Episode #4 - Party Like a Mothertucker
Part Two

A new day dawns and boy Ru enters the werkroom, equipped with a devilish new challenge for the queens up his garishly-patterned sleeve. He’s followed in by two members of the Pit Crew (imagine the two that you find the hottest. It’s them), each holding a massive ball. Ru tells the queens to take a long, hard look at the Pit Crew’s balls, and honestly it’s a wonder that this show is still on the air at this point. Anyway, as Ru explains, inside each ball are tiny balls with the names of each queen written on them. He will pull out one tiny ball from each larger ball, and the two queens whose names are randomly drawn will become the team captains for this week’s maxi challenge. With the rules as clear as mud, Ru draws Drü’s name from the first ball, and Rafaella’s name from the second. Drü seems cautious, whereas Rafaella starts screaming like a banshee. It is then explained to Rafaella that the draw was to determine team captains for the maxi challenge, not the winner, and she calms down.

Ru explains that as there are an odd number of queens, whoever is left last will be able to pick their team. Drü is first to pick, followed by Rafaella, and the teams are as follows (in order of selection):

Team Drü
Drü Holiday
Lady Boi
Yvie Oddly
Honey Davenport
Big Dee
Jessica L'Whor

Team Rafaella
Rafaella Pop
Eva Young
VinChelle
Nicole Lynn Foxx
Valentine Addams

“It doesn’t surprise me that I was left until last,” Jessica says, surprisingly calmly, in a confessional. “I’ve been an absolute mess these past few days, but it’s all in the past, and my job now is to prove to these girls that I’m over it and I’m here to be a valuable team member. Never underestimate L’Whor.”

With teams picked, Ru tells the girls that he’s in the mood for a celebration, and suddenly hundreds of balloons fall from the ceiling. Nicole, who apparently has a phobia of balloons, runs to the other side of the room. “We don’t have balloons in Louisiana!” she shouts over the sound of three hundred balloons being popped by overexcited drag queens. Once it’s safe for her to return to the group, Ru explains that for this week’s maxi challenge, the two groups will be throwing rival surprise birthday parties for a mystery guest. The group whose party the guest deems best will win, and although it is a group challenge, the queens will want to do what they can to stand out and make the guest’s special day one to remember. “And one more thing,” Ru announces, doing his best Columbo impression, “your first clue: these parties had better be big. Big Apple big.”

[MB.]

Episode #4 - Party Like a Mothertucker
Part Three

Firstly, Team Drü congregate at their station and, with Ru’s clue lingering in their heads, bounce ideas for their party off one another. “It’s definitely someone from New York, right?”, Yvie asks, as the group turns to native New Yorker Honey for any suggestions. “Perhaps it’s one of my drag sisters. It could be Bob, or Sasha, or Peppermint,” she says, reeling off lists of New York queens. Big Dee suggests they narrow their possible guests down to no more than a couple of names, or else they may lose focus. “Either way,” Drü says as she notes down the seemingly never-ending list of Honey’s drag queen friends, “it sounds like we’re throwing a party for someone flamboyant. Let’s think big, ladies.” As the queens discuss their plans, Lady Boi notices that Jessica seems happier than in previous days, but is for some reason holding back from contributing her ideas. “I'm worrying that Jessica is trying to compensate for her erratic behaviour by being quiet and just agreeing with everyone,” Lady Boi says in a confessional. “Which, believe me, is not going to win any of us the hundred thousand dollars.”

Across the room, Team Rafaella get to work on planning their birthday party, but not before Rafaella waves a balloon in a terrified Nicole’s face to amuse herself. The queens begin by listing names of famous New Yorkers that the show could realistically afford. VinChelle suggests Leah Remini, Valentine throws out Lena Dunham’s name and Eva wonders aloud if it may be Joan Rivers, until Nicole reminds her that she’s been dead for four years. “Well, that didn’t stop Morgan McMichaels,” Eva shoots back. As the group reaches a dead end in their guessing and the discussion begins to thin, Rafaella offers her two cents. “Listen, everyone,” she says, standing on the table for some reason. “I have a story to tell.”

[MB.]

Episode #4 - Party Like a Mothertucker
Part Four

“Three weeks ago, I came to this country as an immigrant,” Rafaella begins, as Nicole whispers to VinChelle that she isn’t sure where this story’s going. “It was an eye-opening experience. By which I mean the customs authorities at LAX checked the insides of my eyelids for smuggled drugs. By that’s beside the point. What I mean to say is that I have been prepared for this trip for a very young age, when, as a child in old Madrid, I first learned to speak the language that you call English. And how, you ask? Well, mi papa would always watch New York Yankees games on the television, and I would watch with him and listen, which may explain why I speak English with the accent of a hot dog vendor. This is all to say that I am ninety nine percent sure our mystery guest is none other than former New York Yankees first baseman Don Mattingly, and all of you should be as sure as I am. Thank you for your time, ladies.” Rafaella stands down from the table.

“I mean, it could be anyone, for now I wouldn’t be so confide-” Eva begins to say before being cut off by Rafaella’s death stare. “Believe me, the party is for Don Mattingly,” she reaffirms, before walking off to get a drink, accidentally stepping on and bursting a balloon as she does so. The rest of her team sit around in stunned silence. In a confessional, Eva worries that the team will be steamrolled by Rafaella and her bizarre stories, and that they’ll lose the challenge as a result.

Before the queens depart to set up their respective parties, Ru returns to the werkroom with a second clue. “Ladies, I hope your parties have plenty of flavour. Our guest would definitely love that,” he says, before tilting his hat to the queens and leaving. Drü’s eyes widen and she whispers something to her team. Rafaella mouths “Don Mattingly” to herself.

[MB.]

Episode #4 - Party Like a Mothertucker
Part Five

It’s time for the queens to set up their rival parties, ready for the mystery guest to arrive. On Drü’s team, Yvie was placed in charge of ordering props, and has decked her team’s room out in giant golden clocks. Big Dee and Jessica were given the role of decorating the room, and have chosen to paint the walls in a lush purple and furnish the room with high-end leather furniture. Lady Boi and Honey, meanwhile, were placed in charge of food and drink, and decided to order two bags of Doritos and seventy six bottles of champagne to wash them down with. Drü, having overseen the queens in their roles, gives her team the thumbs up, and says in a confessional that she’s glad they managed to come together and correctly guess the mystery guest. “Or, at least, I hope we did. We’ll look like total idiots if it turns out to be, I don’t know, some baseball player or something.”

Meanwhile, in the room next door, Rafaella’s team set up their party under their captain’s strict instructions. As per Rafaella’s specifications, Valentine has decked out the room with baseball bats, photos of baseballs and a giant sign which reads “we love you, Don Mattingly”, while Eva and Nicole have ordered Don’s favourite food and drink for him to enjoy: four graham crackers, an apple, and a pint of carbonated milk. VinChelle has taken some liberty with the furnishings, going against Rafaella’s plan and instead placing a fluffy pink couch in the middle of the room. “I hope Don Mattingly likes pink,” Rafaella says nervously, inspecting the room. “But on the whole, I’m proud of you ladies.”

[MB.]

Episode #4 - Party Like a Mothertucker
Part Six - The Parties

Party hour is upon us, and first up to throw their birthday party are Team Drü. “I’m so nervous,” Jessica says, wringing her hands and rearranging the cutlery for the fifth time. Yvie gives her a sisterly tight squeeze, and Drü asks the queens to take their places as the guest makes their arrival. The door opens, and in walks the HBIC herself, Tiffany ‘New York’ Pollard. The queens manage to be professional and composed for the best part of a second, before erupting in a chorus of excited screams and other such gay noises. “Oh my god, I worship you,” Lady Boi says, stroking Tiffany’s hair. “Uh, I mean, happy birthday.” Honey invites Tiffany to take a seat as Big Dee cracks open the champagne and Jessica offers round the Doritos. Yvie puts on a playlist of early noughties R&B music and the queens quickly begin asking Tiffany about her life and career, at which point Drü begs her to tell her she looks like Luther Vandross, although she is interrupted by one of the Pit Crew entering and giving Tiffany a lap dance. Towards the end, Jessica brings out a cake that she made herself, and the queens rap Happy Birthday, to which Yvie does an interpretative dance. “I’ve had a lovely time, ladies. I need drag queens to throw me birthday parties more often!” Tiffany says as she leaves, making sure to hug each queen individually. “Bye Pumkin!” shouts Honey through the door, and with that, the party ends. The team breathes a sigh of relief and Drü calls for a group hug. “I reckon we nailed it,” Jessica smiles in a confessional. “Considering how worried I was to begin with, I think things are going a lot better for me than they were last time, let me put it that way.”

Tiffany leaves her first party and makes her way to her second. “Oh wow,” she says to herself as she opens the door and takes in the heavily baseball-themed decor. “This is unexpected.” The queens all smile at Tiffany as she walks into their party, although Rafaella stands on the spot for slightly too long, as if she is waiting for Don Mattingly to follow Tiffany in. “I knew she was leading us in the wrong direction,” Nicole mutters to Valentine as they go to collect the refreshments and carbonated milk. “I should have said something earlier. This is going to be torture.” As Valentine remains at the snack table, staring at a graham cracker and wishing it was something more interesting, Tiffany places herself down on the fluffy pink couch. “I like this couch at least,” she says, tucking into the sole apple that she has been provided with. VinChelle takes credit for the choice of furniture, then gives Rafaella the side eye. Once she gets over her disappointment that she did not meet her childhood hero, Rafaella plays up to her role as host, offering at routine intervals to get Tiffany some more milk and asking her (often unrelated) questions about herself. Tiffany often laughs at these, although a confused Rafaella keeps insisting she isn’t telling any jokes. Sensing the need to liven things up, Nicole decides to perform an impromptu dance routine, despite the lack of music, using one of the spare baseball bats as a prop. Tiffany seems to enjoy this performance and even asks Nicole to teach her some moves. Once Rafaella offers to teach her guest the entirety of the Spanish language, however, Tiffany decides to say her goodbyes, thanking the group for the unique experience but still none-the-wiser as to who Don Mattingly is. In a confessional, Rafaella says that the party didn’t exactly go as planned, but thankfully most of her team (in which she includes herself) stepped up to the bat. “Eva didn’t do anything helpful other than look pretty, and Valentine just stood around staring at a cracker, but other than that I think we did very well. Especially me.”

[MB.]

Episode #4 - Party Like a Mothertucker
Part Seven

The next day, with both parties having been thrown and with lots of champagne (and milk) drunk, the queens return to the werkroom, where they prepare their outfits for the next runway. There still seems to be tension in Rafaella’s team after their captain’s potentially fatal mistake, and Eva and Valentine sit at the makeup station discussing the previous day’s events. “Rafaella completely steamrolled us and wouldn’t let any of us offer ideas,” Eva says as Valentine nods. In a confessional, Valentine says that she was worried that Eva would be unwilling to work with her following their poorly-received pair performance in the previous challenge, “but luckily we were able to get along and act like adults. Something that Rafaella, bless her heart, seems to struggle with.” Valentine goes on to say that her poor track record in the competition is beginning to weigh on her, as she doesn’t feel that it’s a fair representation of who she is as a drag queen. “If I could just get to Snatch Game, or another sewing challenge, I could blow Ru’s wig off with the things I can do. But right now those challenges seem to be slipping further away with each new week.”

As Drü’s team discuss their respective concepts for this week’s runway, appropriately entitled The Morning After The Night Before, Yvie pulls Jessica aside for a chat to ensure that everything on Planet L’Whor is fine and dandy. “Ya, thank you, it is,” she replies. “I mean, it’s been quite the few days, but that’s water under the bridge now, and I’m just glad we killed this challenge as hard as we did.” Lady Boi walks past, hears their conversation and joins in, saying that she noticed Jessica was being quieter than usual earlier. “Just so you know, we’re all on your side now, all of us. You’re a fierce old bitch and it wasn’t right to see you reserved like that.” Jessica explains that she’d thought a lot about her behaviour over recent days and decided that holding back was the smartest solution, instead of stirring the pot, but this week’s challenge has made her realise that she doesn’t have to keep her mouth closed to be successful in this competition. “I respect all of these queens so much more now because I’ve realised I’m on their level,” she says in a confessional, “and now that these lips are open for business, they sure as hell ain’t gonna shut.”

[MB.]

Episode #4 - Party Like a Mothertucker
Part Eight - The Runway

Ru walks down the runway and welcomes the judges - Michelle Visage, Ross Mathews, and tonight’s extra special guest judges, comedian, actor and television host Joel McHale and reality TV superstar Tiffany ‘New York’ Pollard - to the show, before introducing the runway theme: The Morning After the Night Before, in which the queens must show off their best hangover drag (and try not to be sick along the way).

-----

Rafaella Pop’s night out seemingly led to some poor life choices, as her beautiful orange dress is not enough to distract from the herpes sores placed around her mouth. She also has extreme bed hair and a strange bite mark on her neck.

Nicole Lynn Foxx is wearing a figure-hugging black leather dress with seven and a half pepperoni pizza slices stuck to the front. An additional pizza slice is perched precariously on top of her head, and her hands are glued together with molten cheese.

VinChelle struts her stuff in an outfit made out of discarded Chinese takeaway menus, with a bed sheet placed around her shoulders as a kind of shawl. She has a takeaway menu in one hand and a TV remote in the other, clearly having a plan for the rest of the day.

Drü Holiday is wearing a torn white wedding dress, with tyre marks and dried blood dotted about the skirt. She is holding a bouquet of decaying red roses, her bride’s veil is ripped in half, she is missing a shoe and a single black mascara teardrop drips down her face.

Yvie Oddly is giving us walk of shame realness, with flesh-coloured material giving the impression of nudity and a giant clump of frizzy black hair covering her face, like a slutty version of the girl from The Ring.

Lady Boi has gone for a basic-white-girl-at-Halloween theme, with her Harley Quinn cosplay spoiled slightly by smeared makeup, exposed knickers and the remnants of last night’s gyro in her cleavage.

Jessica L’Whor has decided to take the concept to the extreme, and graces the runway in a wheelchair, with a bloody nose, a sprained neck and her leg in a plaster cast. Nonetheless, her face is covered in gold glitter makeup, so she probably had a decent night up to that point.

Honey Davenport, dressed in a blood-soaked silver gown, is serving a night at Studio 54 gone awry, with two thirds of a bloody disco ball sticking out of her afro and yet more blood streaked across her face. Through the pain, she still manages to boogie on down the runway.

Big Dee is going for a drag-queen-in-the-morning look, with a messed-up blonde wig, exaggerated panda eyes, a lopsided breast plate, hairy legs, a visible lack of tuck and a Cuban cigar perched between her lips.

Eva Young wears a couture yellow mini dress and chunky clear perspex high heels, one of which is attached only by her ankle and dragging behind her. Something that looks like chili is cascading down the side of the dress and dripping onto her shoes. There’s Mexican food in her hair.

Valentine Addams, in a backless black dress, tries desperately to scrub off the previous night’s vomit stains with a brush as she walks down the runway. She then bursts into tears as she realises she is unable to clean the mess she has made.

[MB.]

Episode #4 - Party Like a Mothertucker
Part Nine - The Deliberation

Following the runway, and once Ru has handed out the alka seltzer, the queens are gathered for the judges’ critiques. Ru announces that the queens will be judged in their groups, and that Tiffany has made a decision on which group she preferred. “Team Drü, well done, you guys win,” Tiffany smiles, before adding, “Team Rafaella, you can choke.”

For efficiently leading her team to victory, Ru announces that Drü is the winner of this week’s maxi challenge. “I’m amazed that I won my first challenge so early!” Drü says in a confessional. “If I keep this up, the other queens better beware of Drü Holiday.” For her efforts, Drü wins her own extra special birthday party, supplied by Absolut Vodka, to which Drü gives an eager thumbs up. Ru then congratulates Big Dee, Honey, Jessica, Lady Boi and Yvie on their performances in the challenge and that they’re safe. As Team Drü leaves the stage, pushing Jessica off in her wheelchair as they go, Ru turns to Team Rafaella and informs them that they’re all up for elimination.

The judges begin with team leader Rafaella. “I like that you did something unique on the runway tonight,” Joel observes of her herpes-inspired look, “as long as you don’t plan on kissing me afterwards.” The judges then discuss her leadership skills. “I think Kim Jong Un would tell you take things easy,” Ross says, “especially considering you led your team wildly off track.” Michelle says the fact that Rafaella managed to salvage anything out of the mess she created for her team was nothing short of a miracle, but as team captain, she should still be held responsible for not creating a more comfortable environment for “Don. I mean Tiffany.”

Nicole is next, and Tiffany says that she loved her impromptu dance routine, calling it a highlight of the party. “However,” Michelle adds, “I’m kind of meh about this runway look. It’s a cute concept, but it lacks the level of execution that some of these other girls have undertaken. I’d have wanted an entire dress made out of pizza.” VinChelle, on the other hand, is praised for taking takeaway menus and turning them into an outfit, and Ross mentions that he likes the extra touch of the TV remote. “As long as you’re planning to use it to watch one of my upcoming comedy specials,” he adds. Tiffany praises VinChelle for getting at least one detail right in a room full of baseball memorabilia. “I never thought I’d be so grateful to see a fluffy pink couch.”

“You look stunning in that dress,” Joel tells Eva, but Michelle isn’t so kind. “I don’t think this look works for this theme at all. That dress is beautiful, and that’s the problem,” she says. “You look like a supermodel, and you’re the fashion queen of the season so you always do, but it’s not funny. It’s not over-the-top gross. It’s not imaginative. It’s just pretty, give or take a bit of chili sauce.” Ru asks Eva if she’s afraid to make a fool of herself, to which she replies that she doesn’t see herself as one of the most comically-talented queens of the season, so decided to take a more fashion conscious-approach to the runway rather than taking a risk and going for a look that the judges don’t find as funny as she does. “And at the party, I kind of lost you,” Tiffany admits, going through her notes to try and find a mention of Eva’s name. “You didn’t really get involved. Oh, wait, I did write something. It says ‘she looks pretty’.”

Finally, it’s Valentine’s turn for critique. Joel calls her runway look “quite literally sickening”, but Michelle calls it “basic and not particularly original”. As for the challenge, Tiffany says that she felt Valentine seemed bored, and was wishing that she’d come and talk to her but she never did. This leads Ross to bring up Valentine’s track record. “You seem like such a talented queen,” he says, “but this is the third consecutive week of you being in danger. I hate to say it, but maybe Drag Race isn’t right for you right now.”

[MB.]

Episode #4 - Party Like a Mothertucker
Part Ten - The Deliberation, cont.

Backstage, Team Drü discusses who they think will be in the bottom, with everyone throwing Rafaella’s name into the mix. Team Rafaella then joins them, with Big Dee throwing a balloon at Nicole and a resigned Valentine being comforted by her sisters, especially Eva, as Rafaella learns her lyrics. Once the judges have deliberated, Team Rafaella are called back to the main stage, where Ru has made the necessary decisions.

“VinChelle… you’re safe.”

“Nicole Lynn Foxx, this week, you gave us a pizza your mind… literally. You’re safe.”

“Eva Young, I’m afraid your performance in the challenge was not… in fashion. Valentine Addams, this week, your vomit-inspired outfit left us needing to call... emetic. Rafaella Pop, this week, your Don Mattingly party was less Don Juan, more… Don Lost.”

“...Rafaella Pop, you’re safe.”

Rafaella’s eyes widen and she asks RuPaul to repeat herself, in case she’d misheard the first time. On Ru’s advice, Rafaella leaves the stage and is greeted, mostly warmly, by her slightly shocked fellow queens, leaving Eva Young and Valentine Addams as the bottom two. “I can’t believe that Eva’s there,” Lady Boi says in a confessional. “None of us would have predicted this, not a single one.”

“Two queens stand before me,” Ru continues. “This is your last chance to impress me, and save yourself from elimination.” Valentine says it may be “second time unlucky” for her, but she’s going to have fun no matter what. “I don’t want to have to lip sync against my Chicago girl,” Eva confesses, “but a queen’s gotta do what a queen’s gotta do.”

“The time has come, for you to lip sync, for your life. Good luck, and don't **** it up...”

[MB.]

Episode #4 - Party Like a Mothertucker
Part Eleven - The Lip Sync

https://i.imgur.com/BVrY7aJ.png https://i.imgur.com/Rx1UTPW.png

Eva Young vs. Valentine Addams
Amazing (Hi Fashion)

UkW5IGBEfwY

Both queens manage to briefly hide their emotion and put on a fun show for the judges. The song allows them to adopt characters, and at one point it becomes a competition between Eva and Valentine as to who can play the bigger bitch. Ultimately, Eva’s lip sync is tighter and more focused, her supermodel walks and poses work for her in spite of a lack of extensive dancing, and a moment in which she slips out of her dress to reveal a lace bra and panties seals the deal. Valentine, in comparison, seems to be having a good time dancing about the stage, but it becomes apparent that she’s just making it up as she goes along.

After the lip sync finishes and the queens applaud their two sisters, Ru reveals her decision.

“Eva Young, shantay you stay,” she declares. Eva thanks Ru and goes to hug Valentine. “Show ‘em what you’re made of, girl,” she tells her sister before going to the back of the stage.

“Valentine Addams,” Ru continues. “You’re creepy and you’re kooky, and you’re mysteriously spooky, but girl, you’re part of our family now. Now, sashay away.”

Valentine gives a short speech about what Drag Race has meant to her as an opportunity for going on to even bigger, better things, before high-fiving her fellow queens on the way out and bellowing “CHICAGOOO” as she leaves.

Backstage, Valentine says that she feels bittersweet about her elimination, as she had accepted that it was her time to go, but wishes that she’d somehow managed to stay a little longer to show Ru that there was “more to her than just the chunky goth girl”. She’s stopped in her tracks, however, by the ominous sound of Ru’s voice blaring out of the TV screen. “Don’t lose hope yet, my queen,” it says. “For the race is long.”

“Oh lord, here we go again,” Valentine laughs with more than just a little apprehension in her voice.

To be continued...

[MB.]

Since I combined the next two surveys, episode five should be up early-ish tomorrow, although I'll still accept any votes in the relevant half of the survey if anyone fancies doing so :)

[Ammi]

...so David Gest’s dead became Dan’s guest party is dead..?...that’s so clever MB...hang on, I’m reading on now to see how this unfolds with the rest of the episode....I’m feeling Nicole with her balloon phobia...I know how she feels, nasty things that should be banned and become extinct....

[Ammi]

...Valentine..:sad:..Valentine had her day and sashayed away...I think I might have voted for her to sashay in the survey as well...this is brutal MB...

[MB.]

...Valentine..:sad:..Valentine had her day and sashayed away...I think I might have voted for her to sashay in the survey as well...this is brutal MB...

Who knew a competition between a bunch of men in wigs could get so brutal? :laugh: Glad you're enjoying, even without Valentine

[MB.]

If you're wondering what the delay is, I'm binging past Snatch Games for inspiration and I'm currently stuck (creatively, mentally, whichever) on that mini challenge where Dida Ritz has to run around the werkroom blowing on a feather

What can I say, art takes time

[Shaun]

*pencils Valentine in for my bottom twenty queens of all time in the ranking i'd been planning before Season 10 creeped up out of nowhere*

[Ammi]

Who knew a competition between a bunch of men in wigs could get so brutal? :laugh: Glad you're enjoying, even without Valentine

..how dare you, you drag-phobe, MB...as soon as that make-up box appeared and the tucking began, no men were present in the room../competition at all...only glorious queens..:lovedup:..

[Ammi]

..I’m still thinking about Amanda Bang going first...as she was feeling so worthless compared to the other queens anyway...so to be the first sashayed away was awful and brutal..:sad:...


..I think we need an ‘after story’ for them all as well, MB...

[MB.]

..I’m still thinking about Amanda Bang going first...as she was feeling so worthless compared to the other queens anyway...so to be the first sashayed away was awful and brutal..:sad:...


..I think we need an ‘after story’ for them all as well, MB...

Well, as Ru rather eerily says, don't lose hope yet... the race is long...

(I promise I haven't forgotten about this, I just can't write a decent Snatch Game to save my life)

[Shaun]

if you think i'm going to go a second week without my Rafaella Pop fix then you are SORELY mistaken

[MB.]

Like Jinkx Monsoon in a Spanish telenova, it's definitely coming

[MB.]

Depending on how many responses I get, and also on whether or not my laptop decides to work, the episodes will be every two days or so, meaning this should all be wrapped up in about a month.

Turns out my laptop has indeed decided against working (it's currently in for repair until next week), which was the main reason for the delay... since the next two weeks or so will be very busy for me, I'll be finishing this in early-mid May, assuming my laptop is fixed/the world hasn't ended/Robbie Turner hasn't banned all discussion of Drag Race on the internet in case it impacts his lawsuit against Uber by then :fc:

In the meantime, I'll probably put up polls now and then to see who people are liking and... not liking, as to get a better idea of which direction the game should go in and who should start getting that elusive Bob winner's edit

[Ammi]

...Awww I hope you get your laptop up and running again soon, MB...for yourself and all of the stuff you rely on it for...just whenever you’re able to return with this though ...it’s one of my favourite things to read...and I’ll look forward to it whenever that is..:love:...

[Ammi]

...the race is long..:laugh:....

[MB.]

Okay, so in short I'm deluding myself if I think I'll finish this in full (basically, I started this at the worst possible time, tech issues included), and I doubt I will, but I'll certainly complete it in note form at some point in the future because I had most of the season planned out and I hate to leave things unfinished. And thanks to Ammi for the continued love, and for motivating me to finish this silly lil' thing at all :love:

The other reason I bumped this thread is because two of these queens are heavily rumoured to be on Drag Race season 11 (at least, according to Reddit, who are pretty darn good at these things), which is a bit exciting isn't it! Spoilered for obvious reasons:

You may just be seeing Honey and Yvie on a TV screen near you very soon...

[Shaun]

I knew I'd formed opinions on them already from somewhere but couldn't remember where.

I suppose it's probably a good thing Dru's not been cast. He'd make Kameron look like a pitbull.

[MB.]

Personally I'd have liked for Rafaella to have been cast, just to see how a season of Drag Race in which a queen doesn't say a word of English the entire time would work

(also Yvie strikes me as how I imagined The Vixen would be pre-season, so... lord knows what she'll turn out to be like, basically)

So I'll post what I wrote a while back for episode five, and then complete it in note form, then open the poll that I said I would a few weeks ago to help determine the rest of the boot order, then I'll post shortened versions of the remaining episodes whenever I can!

[MB.]

Episode #5 - Snatch Game
Part One

Scene: the werkroom, after Valentine’s elimination.

“Aww, Val,” Drü frowns as the remaining queens mourn the departure of their good Judy. “Things are about to get a lot quieter around these parts.” Eva, visibly still a little shaken by her close shave with elimination, wipes the mirror clean.

“Today may not have been Valentine’s day, but you gon see a lot more of me. Stay hot my hunnies <3”

“We were finally becoming such a cute little family,” says Eva with cloth in hand, “and now we’re not going to be one for much longer. It’s kind of a shame.” Lady Boi jokes that “this ain’t RuPaul’s Best Family Race!” as she removes her wig and mimes throwing it at Yvie. Honey calls for a round of applause for Drü, as the latest maxi challenge winner, after which Drü throws her bridal bouquet into the air. Rafaella catches it and runs off before Nicole can grab it off her.

“Ladies, week five!” Jessica exclaims, chilling in her wheelchair from the previous runway, after realising how far the queens have come. “Can you be-weave it?” With this playing on her mind, VinChelle talks in a confessional about what she wants from the coming weeks: “I haven’t won a challenge yet, and the clock is ticking. It’s time to stand out.” In another confessional, Big Dee says that the further they get through the competition, the tougher things are going to get. “We can’t just sit back and coast now that we’re reaching the halfway mark. Each and every one of us knows we have to step our pussies up, me included, and we also know that things are about to get nastier as the claws come out. Well, meow, bitches.”

[MB.]

Episode #5 - Snatch Game
Part Two

The next morning, the queens file into the werkroom and gather in the usual spot. “I’ve never seen you look so rested,” Big Dee jokes to Nicole. “I’m guessing you didn’t have any nightmares about balloons.” At this, Nicole looks sheepish. “Well, I did have an… interesting dream,” she says as her eyes glance across the table to Drü and Eva, and as the other queens react with about as much maturity as the situation would warrant. "We’ve been locked away here for weeks, you can’t blame me for dreaming about kai kai-ing now and again!” she continues in an attempt to defend herself and her wet dreams. “This is a family show, girl,” VinChelle replies. “I don’t need to be hearing about your threesomes at breakfast time.”

On that bombshell, boy Ru strides into the werkroom and announces this week’s mini challenge: the queens each have twenty minutes to drag up a troll doll, with the most creative queen winning. Big Dee complains that Eva and Lady Boi have an unfair advantage in the challenge (“don’t tell me these queens don’t still play with dolls. They’re, like, twelve”) as the others get to work making over their trolls. Once Ru announces that time’s up, the queens put on a mini fashion show to display their creations. The winner is Honey, whose doll Trollnacia consists of a dragged-up troll doll with another troll doll’s decapitated head stuck on top, covered entirely in sequins. After Ru announces that Trollnacia will from now on be permanently displayed in the Museum of Modern Art by way of Honey’s prize, the topic of conversation moves from mini challenge to maxi challenge. “Namely,” Ru teases, “a little something that we like to call the Gatch Sname. No, wait, that’s not right. Snatch Game. Yep, that’s the one.”

The queens cheer with varying degrees of enthusiasm, with VinChelle especially clapping like a hyperactive seal. Big Dee confesses that she’s been waiting for the Snatch Game, and the chance to humorously impersonate a celebrity, since she got on the show in the first place. “And considering my track record, I need all the success that Ru might throw my way.” Eva acknowledges in a confessional that Snatch Game can make or break a queen, and with a troubled few weeks behind her, she’s crossing her fingers and other such extremities that she’ll manage to get back on top with this challenge. Several queens go around the room and ask one another which celebrities they plan to impersonate: Yvie flings her arms wide and screams “Opraaah Winfreeeey!” in an eerily accurate tone of voice, Rafaella announces she’ll be playing Taylor Swift and that she has the range of wigs to prove it, Eva tells Lady Boi that tonight, Matthew, she’s going to be Yoko Ono, VinChelle produces a pair of large white fake breasts to indicate her choice of Stormy Daniels, and Big Dee gives her personal approval to Jessica’s choice of iconic drag queen Miss Coco Peru (“but if you screw it up, I’m cutting your wigs”).

[MB.]

Episode #5 - Snatch Game
Part Three

Having popped out for a fag and a Wispa, Ru returns to quiz the queens on their Snatch Game selections. First up, Nicole, who has decided to impersonate reality star and former White House staffer Omarosa. “She’s just such a ridiculous personality,” she explains to Ru. “It should hopefully be quite easy to make fun of her and generate some comedy from that, especially if I can try and play off of VinChelle as Stormy.” While she admits that improvisational character comedy isn’t her forte, she says is up for the challenge, which Ru clarifies just in case there was any doubt (“you have to make Omarosa funny”). Also having contemplated weaving politics into Snatch Game glory, Lady Boi taks Ru through her options. “Well, I was going to do Tomi Lahren, but I had a hard time finding the white hood and burning cross. So I’m doing the next worst thing: Derrick Barry.” In a confessional, she elaborates that one deciding factor in not choosing Tomi was seeing Jessica’s reaction to a joke made by Big Dee in relation to the Trump administration. “I think it’s best to avoid touchy subjects around certain queens here, although at times it feels as though we’re having to walk on eggshells. Which, in six inch heels, isn’t easy.”

Heading clockwise around the werkroom, Ru asks Yvie about her Snatch Game choice, noting that a lot of people do Oprah impressions and that she’ll have to do something extra special to stand out. “Especially considering you don’t look a whole deal alike,” Ru adds, to which Yvie feigns mock offence before Ru wishes her luck. She then turns to Drü, who it transpires is in something of a quandary, having acknowledged that she has a standard to maintain as last week’s challenge winner. “I have several ideas for who to impersonate,” Drü tells Ru, before reeling off a list consisting of fashion designer Vivienne Westwood, feminist activist Gloria Steinem, Vogue editor-in-chief Anna Wintour and Sunset Boulevard actress Gloria Swanson, each of which she has brought a separate outfit for. “I guess I wanted to show that I have fairly old school, eccentric tastes, I’m not just some young, arty queen living in a vacuum,” she explains. “The job now, I guess, is to decide which one I’m doing. At this moment in time, I’m most confident with Vivienne Westwood.” As Drü shows off a snippet of her old northern English lady accent, Ru reminds her that whoever she ends up impersonating, the goal is to “make me laugh”, and doesn’t want to see her get so bogged down in her own ideas that she forgets about the comedy part of the challenge. “I promise I won’t let you down, ma’am,” is Drü’s response.

[MB.]

Episode #5 - Snatch Game
Part Four

Big Dee is next to be interrogated, and Ru’s eyebrows raise as much as the Botox will allow when he sees what looks like a man’s wig on Big Dee’s work bench. “Either you’re doing Dame Judi Dench,” Ru says, “or that’s a menses, Maury.” When Big Dee explains that she’ll be impersonating none other than Ross Mathews, Ru reacts as someone who just swallowed a particularly large fly might. Once she’s finished choking, Ru asks what led her to make such an awful decision (I’m paraphrasing). Big Dee seems surprised that Ru is so immediately sceptical. “I know it’s an unconventional pick, but I was thinking, or hoping, I could make it work. But now you’re making me doubt that!” Ru says that in her experience, highly risky Snatch Game choices go one of two ways, and she doesn’t want Big Dee to take a risk that could damage her chances unless she’s completely confident. “Well, I have a backup option,” Big Dee says, “in the form of Janice Dickinson, who’s somebody I adore and have done in the past. And maybe it’ll be best not to question RuPaul on this occasion.” Finally, Ru spots Honey dressing up in her Nina Simone outfit and is already on board, but asks to hear some of her impersonation anyway. Honey drawls something or other about jazz that has Ru in hysterics, and in a confessional hopes that Snatch Game proves she’s more than just a pageant queen.

Big Dee, who is in the process of swapping her original choice of Ross Mathews for the somewhat safer Janice Dickinson, notices that Drü is struggling to finalise her celebrity. Drü asks for “an old bitch’s advice” on the matter, and Big Dee takes her over to the sofas to talk. Drü puts on a mini talent show for Big Dee, giving her excerpts of each of her potential impersonations. “Personally, I’m leaning towards doing Vivienne, but I definitely need a second opinion on the matter,” Drü says, taking off her Anna Wintour wig. Big Dee pulls a pensive face. “I’m not sure, girl,” she says as Drü begins to look worried, but nods along anyway. “From one queen to another, I’m not sure that your Vivienne’s strong enough. I know it’s pretty late in the day, but I enjoyed your Gloria Swanson most, so if I were you I’d switch to her. But hey, it’s up to you, honey.” As Drü mulls over her options and Big Dee’s advice, Dee admits in a confessional that she did in fact think Drü’s Vivienne Westwood was the strongest of her potential choices. “But I’m not going to tell her that, am I? Truthfully, I didn’t think much of her Gloria Swanson, but the farther we get through this competition, the more ruthless I’m going to have to get to make sure that Ru sees my star shine. Any queen that isn’t me going home at this stage is a bonus, and if that just so happens to be last week’s winner, then it’d be even better. It’s a dog eat dog world out there, and sorry Drü, but you’re the bait.”

[MB.]

(that's it so far)

You can tell how long ago I wrote this because I thought that Derrick Barry's drunk roast would be a relevant Snatch Game character. Also, I changed a queen's choice as I was writing this, because somebody already impersonated them in season 10's Snatch Game (try and guess who it is)

[MB.]

Episode #5 - Snatch Game
Part Five (Note Form)

Ru welcomes us to the latest edition of the Snatch Game, and welcomes the contestants (actress Kelly Marie Tran and comedian Jaboukie Young-White) before introducing tonight’s stars. On the top row, from left to right:

Jessica as legendary drag queen Miss Coco Peru
Nicole as reality star and former political aide Omarosa
Eva as singer, artist and activist Yoko Ono
Lady Boi as Drag Race season eight contestant Derrick Barry
Drü as classic Hollywood actress Gloria Swanson

On the bottom row, from left to right:

Honey as singer Nina Simone
Rafaella as singer Taylor Swift
VinChelle as Trump's favourite porn star, Stormy Daniels
Big Dee as supermodel Janice Dickinson
Yvie as the queen of all media, Oprah Winfrey

The questions are, in order, “lazy Lisa is so lazy. Instead of covering her face with foundation, she just uses ”, “Greedy Glenda is so greedy. Whenever she eats out in West Hollywood, she orders !” and “drag queens are so generous. Ahead of the royal wedding, they clubbed together and bought Harry and Meghan a brand new [blank]!”... yep, I wrote this thing so long ago that the royal wedding was still an upcoming event. Worse is that I'd initially wrote the question to be about the upcoming royal baby, and figured that I'd be safer off time-wise going for the wedding. Hey, just roll with it.

[B]The Highs

Eva's Yoko Ono consists of lots of nonsensical answers, incoherent screaming, strange noises, attempts to play parts of the set like musical instruments and blatant plugs for her art collections mid-answers.
Honey, as Nina Simone, boldly begins by threatening to shoot RuPaul, but dials it back with bouts of random jazz singing, elaborate stories from her career and bitchy retorts to some of the whiter queens.
Big Dee's well-prepared Janice Dickinson manages to come across as more of a loving tribute than a send-up, and consists of a mixture of delightfully crude comments ("I used to know a guy who owned a fudge store. One night we ****ed so hard I almost... wait, can you say 'fudge' on television?"), rambling showbiz stories about the times she did coke with Liberace and liberal c-bombs. At one point she dons an eye-patch on one eye and, after looking across to Stormy Daniels, asks Ru to give her the other patch.


[B]The Ones in the Middle

Jessica's Coco Peru is full of quotes ("okay that was homophobic", "oh sweetheart, your poor mother", "I'm slitting your throat in your sleep", "which gay man thought this up?", "that's it, I'm writing a letter", calling Ru a little cocoa puff) that don't make much sense in or out of context, but Jessica manages to make Ru giggle and that's all that matters in this game.
Lady Boi slurs her way through Derrick Barry, avoiding many of the obvious jokes one could make based on Derrick's season eight perormance and instead squarely focusing on her now-iconic drunk roast which, similar to Jessica, she seems to know verbatim. All the hits are there - "Thorgy Shlor", "season hate" and even a "I don't know if the answer is Chuck, but tonight your answer is truck" - but never quite pops.


Rafaella's Taylor Swift is fairly one note, revolving around the joke that the old, innocent country star Taylor (who she begins Snatch Game as) is dead and gets violently replaced by Reputation-era Taylor, even if she characterises this mostly through a wig change. She also keeps applying black lipstick throughout. At one point, she eats the lipstick.


Yvie's Oprah is perhaps not the best or most nuanced choice she could have gone with, but she gets a lot of mileage out of the voice, bellowing random celebrity names ("John Travoltaaaa! Juliaaaa Roberts! Madonnaaaa! Breeeeaaad!") at a willing RuPaul, cracking the usual lesbian-with-Gayle jokes, asking Stormy "what is the truth" about her affair with Trump (VinChelle does not play along for some reason) and concluding her Snatch Game by throwing her cards across the room, shouting "you get an answer! And you get an answer! And you get an answer!"


The Lows

Nicole's Omarosa goes the way of Asia O'Hara's Beyoncé; she's catty without being funny, and even though she tries some fun back-and-forth with Stormy over Trump, she goes quiet for the rest of the game when VinChelle decides not to engage.


VinChelle's Stormy seems too preoccupied on her appearance (big fake breasts, a blonde wig and talc all over her skin, which is... a choice) that the jokes take a back seat, and the ones that she tries to throw out land somewhere in Alaska. She doesn't even have any storm puns prepared, which is the real travesty.


Drü falls victim to the same fate as Robbie Turner and, to a lesser extent, Miz Cracker: assuming that playing someone who's been dead for fifty years who much of the show's key demographic won't be familiar with will be an automatic Snatch Game win. It isn't the worst of the night, but Drü relies too much on her Norma Desmond shtick and pulling faces than on telling good jokes or interacting with the other queens.

[MB.]

Episode #5 - Snatch Game
Part Six (Note Form)

The runway theme is How's Your Head...piece?, which it turns it is pretty much like the Hat's Incredible runway from episode six. I chose each queen's runway lerk individually, but I won't post all of them to save time (I may do at a later date, but until then, just image a load of ornate couture headpieces). As the divisions in the previous post suggest, Jessica, Lady Boi, Rafaella and Yvie are called safe, Eva, Honey and Big Dee are the tops of the week and Nicole, VinChelle and Drü are in the bottom. A grateful Big Dee is announced as the winner of the challenge, while the bottom two are VinChelle and Drü. Nicole is nearly as scared at the thought of being in the bottom two as she is by balloons. The judges are especially disappointed that Drü ended up doing Gloria Swanson instead of Vivienne Westwood, as she demonstrates her Vivienne on the runway and makes the judges laugh. For context, these are Drü (https://i.imgur.com/8S1RF5T.png) and VinChelle (https://i.imgur.com/2QRcW46.png)'s runway looks respectively (they're pretty much the least intricate of the lot... I'm talking headpieces made out of bouquets of flowers, massive plastic doves and even a model miniature fairground).

The Lip Sync

https://i.imgur.com/VWbC5ru.png https://i.imgur.com/g0eQdoz.png

Drü Holiday vs. VinChelle
Because the Night (Patti Smith)

c_BcivBprM0

So, another reason as to why this episode had me so ridiculously stuck is that I couldn't decide on the lip sync song. Originally, my plan was to post this episode on the release day of Kylie's new album, so Better the Devil You Know seemed appropriate (I mean, it's Kylie's birthday today, so it probably would have been even more appropriate now, but hey). Then, episode three of Drag Race aired (that's right, seven weeks ago), and I was in the mood for a rockier lip sync. I ended up going through literally every rock song ever recorded by a woman until I settled on Because the Night, because it's a cool song and why not.

Both VinChelle and Drü turn it, with Drü's performance being more internalised than VinChelle's, which is similar in ferocity to Mayhem's Celebrity Skin. Ultimately, this is Drag Race and VinChelle manages to steal the spotlight, and Ru announces her as the victor of the lip sync, meaning Drü is this season's fifth queen to sashay away, surprising some of the queens in the back. Drü... I don't know, quotes Lady Gaga as she walks out or something, before being addressed, as we all are after death, by the mysterious embodied voice of Ru, telling her the usual spiel that it's not yet over and the race is long. You get the idea by now, even if there was a two month hiatus between this episode and the last.

[MB.]

Here's the survey (https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/SQF5WVK) that I'll use for the next few rounds at least... I'll probably make a more specific one closer to the end to determine the winner, etc. Ta :love:

[MB.]

Chart, chart chart chart, chart, chart sha cack cack boom, oh sha cack sha cack sha cack chart, did somebody mention chart? (I hope that's not their song. If that's their song, that sucks)

https://i.imgur.com/Nl4m3AB.png

[MB.]

And since it's been veritable aeons since I last posted an episode, a lot has happened in these queens' respective worlds, so here's what our most recently eliminated queen has been up to:


Being both a man and a woman at the same time, like some sort of witch or summat!


p/BilPU6_gi9_


Appearing at DragCon!


p/BiqajK6gvRA

p/BisyStAA7IN


Appearing at DragCon next to Miss Fame!


p/BiuRAmZg5Ca


Appearing at DragCon next to Sasha Velour!


p/Bi-qkpjArIR

Is there anything she can't do?!

[MB.]

I'll post episode six, the first of the shortened episodes, in a sec, and hopefully get some momentum going :laugh: Just a word of warning: looking at what I've written, I may have been stoned when I came up with the concept of this episode, who can say?

[MB.]

Episode #6 - Michelle Visage's Drag Race
Part One

Following Drü's elimination, Big Dee says she feels no regret that her manipulative ways helped to send her home, and now that she has a challenge win under her belt, “sending the rest of these tired queens packing should be as easy as pie.” Meanwhile, Jessica says that she can’t understand why Eva was in the top for Snatch Game instead of her (“all Eva did was shout random words in a funny voice. I could do that in my sleep”), and both Nicole and VinChelle say that surviving their brush with elimination has made them determined to win the next challenge. Elsewhere, determined to become the next viral sensation, Rafaella practices her yodelling.

The next day, the queens are confused when they are greeted not by RuPaul in the werkroom, but by Michelle Visage. Michelle explains that Ru had “other commitments” to attend to, and that as his best friend in the world, she’ll be stepping into his heels from now on. Jessica smells something fishy, and for once it isn’t Lady Boi. Rafaella has no idea what’s going on, but admits that she rarely does anyway.

Mini challenge: the queens must get down on their knees and tell Michelle how much they love her, King Lear-style, with the most convincing queen winning. After tearing up a photo of Merle Ginsberg and setting fire to all of the green clothing in her possession, Honey is crowned the winner for the second mini challenge in a row.

Maxi challenge: Michelle then announces that in tribute to a legendary international icon (i.e. herself) (she’s been to the UK and Ireland, don’t you know), this week’s maxi challenge will be titled Michelle Visage’s Miss International Universe of the World 2018. Each queen will be assigned a different country, and must then use that country’s flag to create an evening gown fit for a pageant. In addition, they must give a Miss Universe-style speech promoting their country. As the winner of the mini challenge, Honey will be in charge of choosing the countries, with the selections being as follows:

Big Dee - Ireland
Eva - China
Honey - Jamaica
Jessica - the Philippines
Lady Boi - Germany
Nicole - South Africa
Rafaella - Brazil
VinChelle - South Korea
Yvie - Canada

[MB.]

Episode #6 - Michelle Visage's Drag Race
Part Two

Jessica doesn’t seem best pleased with her country, saying that she’d have rather Honey gave her a more recognisable flag, “but I’m still going to turn it out”. She also half-jokes that she’s still bitter about losing the last sewing challenge to Eva and is aiming to rectify that result this week. Otherwise, the queens seem happy to get to work on their dresses, mainly because it means they don’t have to work in groups. “I bet you all wish this was a team challenge and I was your leader,” Rafaella smiles as she tries to work out how to use a sewing machine and why her thumb is bleeding so much. A resounding chorus of “no!” echoes around the room, which, given how Rafaella’s last attempt at leading a team went, is probably the wise choice. Whereas most of the queens are going for a classic, elegant look, Eva, Yvie and Lady Boi all have high concept ideas for their gowns, with Yvie discussing her plan to cut tiny individual maple leaf shapes into her Canadian flag. Big Dee, somewhat sarcastically, wishes her luck.

The queens also get to work on writing their speeches. Rafaella decides she’s going to give a serious speech about the impact of child poverty in Brazilian favelas, but as she reads out her notes, her dramatic delivery and facial expressions just make the other queens laugh. Nicole decides to sit by herself in order to focus on the task at hand, saying she’s “hungry for the win” and that she needs to block out all distractions in order to finish her speech. Big Dee and VinChelle both decide to go for over-the-top comedy in their speeches, and Big Dee tries out her Irish accent on Jessica. “Sounds… good to me,” Jessica nods, later saying in a confessional that she lied in order to avoid humiliating her good Judy. “I love me some Big Dee, but girl, she sounded like she was from Ireland, West Virginia.” As the queens finishing their gowns, the topic of conversation moves to the absence of RuPaul. “I think she realised there were millennials in the building and ran as far as she could,” laughs Lady Boi, miming Ru trying to run across West Hollywood in heels.

[MB.]

Episode #6 - Michelle Visage's Drag Race
Part Three

On the main stage, with no RuPaul to compère, Michelle introduces Ross and this week's guest judges, The Good Place star D’Arcy Carden, singer Hayley Kiyoko and activist and author Janet Mock, to the show. The queens then take to the runway in their Flags of the World Eleganza Extravaganza. Of all the dresses, Eva’s regal red Chinese-inspired couture, Nicole’s traditional South African gown, Lady Boi’s punk rock German look and Jessica’s Imelda Marcos-esque Filipino look, complete with shoulder pads, a long flowing train and flowers in her hair, impress the judges the most. On the other hand, the judges find Yvie’s “arts and crafts-y” Canadian-themed look to be unfinished, and Big Dee’s Irish flag dress to be plain and ill-fitting, while Honey, Rafaella and VinChelle all “fit the brief” but lack wow-factor.

The queens then give their speeches, and Jessica appears most confident following her feedback from the judges, giving a factual but humorous and entertaining and humorous address on the Philippines that she chooses to end with a roast of Manila Luzon (who, like RuPaul, is not in the room). On the other end of the scale, Big Dee’s speech, in which she adopts a high-pitched faux Irish accent and, pretending to be a strict Catholic church lady, produces a sign that reads “God hates flags” before throwing Bibles at the judges, goes down like a lead balloon, and VinChelle freezes in her attempts to find humour in South Korea, ending up with little else other than a series of flat Kim Jong-un jokes. Eva and Lady Boi both use their characters (Chinese queen and punk rock Berliner) to their advantage in their speeches, and while the judges are amused by Honey and Rafaella’s over-the-top presentations, Yvie’s seems a little all over the place and lacks cohesion, and Nicole’s sees her stumbling over her words, suggesting that she perhaps didn't quite move far enough away from the other queens in the werkroom.

Just to twist the knife that little bit more, Michelle asks all of the the queens to say which of their fellow pageant competitors they believe should go home next. Jessica names Eva, claiming her to be her biggest competition. Eva, Honey, Nicole, Yvie and Lady Boi all say Big Dee, suggesting that they believe she did the worst in this week's challenge. Big Dee names Yvie, but gives no reason. VinChelle says Rafaella, as she hasn't won a challenge yet. Rafaella says Bombalicious, before she is reminded that Bombalicious left the competition four weeks ago. Rafaella then says Big Dee, who is only just about managing to hold her tongue.

[MB.]

Episode #6 - Michelle Visage's Drag Race
Part Four

As a result of both the runway presentation and the speech, Michelle announces that Jessica is the winner of the maxi challenge, and therefore Miss International Universe of the World 2018, with Eva and Lady Boi joining her in the top three for their efforts. Honey, Nicole and Rafaella are deemed safe, leaving Big Dee, VinChelle and Yvie as the bottom three. Yvie is then announced safe, and celebrates this news with a mini panic attack before being comforted by her fellow queens. Big Dee and VinChelle both seem devastated that they’re in the bottom two, with Big Dee saying she feels as if she’s gone from weeks of steadily uphill climbing to “suddenly crashing to the ground”, and VinChelle saying she feels as though she ruined her one chance to redeem herself.

The Lip Sync

https://i.imgur.com/01uLxW6.png https://i.imgur.com/g0eQdoz.png

Big Dee vs. VinChelle
One Mistake (Seduction)

mhItzytVT1Q

As this is, of course, Michelle Visage’s Drag Race, the lip sync is to a Seduction song, albeit one of the many, many lesser known ones. Both queens go into the lip sync outright refusing for it to be their last, and this attitude carries through into their performances: both Big Dee and VinChelle pull out tight, emotive performances that show the judges their passion to stay, and both not only turn it out, but inside out and upside down. Whatever that means. It’s an unbelievably close lip sync and there are a few moments of agonising silence as Michelle chooses the victor.

As she begins to reveal her decision, RuPaul bursts in through the side door, his mouth gagged with tape. As the other queens gasp in shock, Ru removes the tape and reveals that he was kidnapped, and has just escaped from where he was being held captive. Declaring the lip sync null and void and announcing that no queens will be going home this week, to the relief of both Big Dee and VinChelle, he turns to the judges’ table. “The person who kidnapped me, was…” he says slowly, pointing his finger in the direction of one of the judges, “...Michelle Visage!”

The queens gasp again. Janet Mock faints. Michelle stands up, screams that RuPaul is a liar, and storms off the set. Rafaella, naturally, is still confused.

To be continued…

[MB.]

https://i.imgur.com/ZtRNMs5.png

Join me next time for RuMerican Crime Story: The People vs. Michelle Visage, as our Elle Woods-wannabes are summoned for the drag trial of the century....

(as I was saying, totally stoned)

[MB.]

Here's the survey (https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/SQF5WVK) that I'll use for the next few rounds at least... I'll probably make a more specific one closer to the end to determine the winner, etc. Ta :love:

I'll write the rest of this thing in the next few days, so if anyone else fancies voting then you've got an extremely vague period of time in which to do so!

[Ammi]

...I have updated and have done the survey, MB...and your latest episodes are as spectacular as ever...this has been one of my favourite forum things ..:lovedup:...