Do you judge people without trying to get to know them first?

[parmnion]

As my job entails me walking into complete strangers houses I never do now..perhaps I have as I walked in in the past...bit you soon learn.

So do you judge people, without even trying to get to know them?

[Marsh.]

I probably make judgements, I think we all do.

But I don't write someone off as a bad person or whatever without getting to know them first. I will give the benefit of the doubt, unless they do something especially terrible.

[parmnion]

Why does it always have to be a bad person marsh?


I'm on about that wee "get yourself a drink mate" money you never get in Chingford; but may get within the city if london.

[Marsh.]

Why does it always have to be a bad person marsh?

What?

I used it as an example. If I meet someone and it's not an especially pleasant experience I don't write them off as a terrible person unless it was something serious enough to warrant it. People have off days.

Who said it always has to be bad?

Judging someone is inherently a negative emotion so maybe you should've worded the OP better if that wasn't what you were asking.

[parmnion]

What?

I used it as an example. If I meet someone and it's not an especially pleasant experience I don't write them off as a terrible person unless it was something serious enough to warrant it. People have off days.

Who said it always has to be bad?

Judging someone is inherently a negative emotion so maybe you should've worded the OP better if that wasn't what you were asking.



It's interesting though...that people instantly go bad in a scenario that neither described bad or good..

And I do take you up on the judging comment being negative...what with all these judging shows we've had for more than ten years every night on the telly asking us to love people.:shrug:

[Marsh.]

It's interesting though...that people instantly go bad in a scenario that neither described bad or good..

And I do take you up on the judging comment being negative...what with all these judging shows we've had for more than ten years every night on the telly asking us to love people.:shrug:

Yeah, and the "judging" aspect is 99% negative.

[Marsh.]

And, no, I didn't "instantly go bad in a scenario that neither described bad or good". I used an example.

[parmnion]

Yeah, and the "judging" aspect is 99% negative.

Online mainly, in the actual studios of the shows it's mainly cheers and positivity...(bb crowd obvs not)

I do believe your first online comment on this matter may clarify things for us all.

Perhaps the world's negativity is all down to the internet.:shrug:

[Marsh.]

Online mainly

Really? You don't find the judging panels of things like X factor all about mocking the crap acts and tearing them apart? :think: Interesting.

[Marsh.]

I do believe your first online comment on this matter may clarify things for us all.


What?

[parmnion]

Yeah, and the "judging" aspect is 99% negative.

Really? You don't find the judging panels of things like X factor all about mocking the crap acts and tearing them apart? :think: Interesting.



The bad acts know what's coming....they are there for thier 15 mins.

[Denver]

No never

[parmnion]

What?

We all instantly go bad when online..and are responsible for the world's negativity...you instantly using a bad scenario or example in describing how you wouldn't judge a person straight off means that you always look for the bad when judging someone.
..



I blame the internet for that

[Marsh.]

We all instantly go bad when online..and are responsible for the world's negativity...you instantly using a bad scenario or example in describing how you.wouldn't judge a person straight off means you.always look for the bad

:facepalm: Goodnight Parm.

[SherzyK]

We all instantly go bad when online..and are responsible for the world's negativity...you instantly using a bad scenario or example in describing how you.wouldn't judge a person straight off means you.always look for the bad
..



I blame the internet for that

:suspect:

[Livia]

In my opinion you never get a second chance to make a first impression and I tend to decide in the first few minutes whether I'm going to like someone or not. I'm not going to claim I'm always right... but usually I am.

[smudgie]

In my opinion you never get a second chance to make a first impression and I tend to decide in the first few minutes whether I'm going to like someone or not. I'm not going to claim I'm always right... but usually I am.

This.
I trust my instincts, but will be happy to change my mind if proven wrong.

[parmnion]

:facepalm: Goodnight Parm.

https://www.facebook.com/1631362050467799/posts/2730045177266142/?sfnsn=mo&d=n&vh=e

[parmnion]

In my opinion you never get a second chance to make a first impression and I tend to decide in the first few minutes whether I'm going to like someone or not. I'm not going to claim I'm always right... but usually I am.

Its not reallyy about liking someone from the off..maybe this could be one of those scenario things. .


llets say you ain't ever going to see that person again...

Do you bother judging them?
Judge them?
Or don't judge them?

Perhaps people decide to judge them before meeeting them from information they have on a job sheet or something

Perhapsbwhennthe doornisnopened the judging commences?

Or **** it, I've got a telly to fix and I'm hoping he mentions coffee?

[Marsh.]

Its not reallyy about liking someone from the off..maybe this could be one of those scenario things. .


llets say you ain't ever going to see that person again...

Do you bother judging them?
Judge them?
Or don't judge them?

Perhaps people decide to judge them before meeeting them from information they have on a job sheet or something

Perhapsbwhennthe doornisnopened the judging commences?

Or **** it, I've got a telly to fix and I'm hoping he mentions coffee?

I don't think you have to consciously decide "I'm going to judge someone". It happens naturally, you formulate thoughts/decisions naturally.

[Niamh.]

Obviously you will have a first impression but I will admit I'm not actually that good of a judge of character, it takes me a while to get a proper understanding of a person. I know this about myself so I do try to wait before I write someone off/think someone is amazing [emoji23]

[UserSince2005]

i always judge people on first meeting, and im never wrong.

[Ammi]

Obviously you will have a first impression but I will admit I'm not actually that good of a judge of character, it takes me a while to get a proper understanding of a person. I know this about myself so I do try to wait before I write someone off/think someone is amazing [emoji23]

...yeah I would say similar...although I wouldn’t say that I was a bad or a good judge of character, I don’t believe that any of us have any better first instincts ...but I do believe that any judgements on first instincts can actually be a barrier to seeing a ‘whole person’...we will always think we are ‘right and have good instincts’ because we’re only connecting with specific aspects of people that fit that, if that makes sense...?...waiting without judgement is the best mindset because everyone is flawed, we need to be open to seeing those flaws before we know whether we connect...

[Cherie]

Obviously you will have a first impression but I will admit I'm not actually that good of a judge of character, it takes me a while to get a proper understanding of a person. I know this about myself so I do try to wait before I write someone off/think someone is amazing [emoji23]

same, I wrote Mr C off as a bit of fluff when I first met him :hehe:

[bitontheslide]

i'm always cautious. I will form opinions constantly and evaluate them for what they are.

[Kazanne]

I am quite cautious of most people now,I never used to be but have been let down so many times with people I initially thought were friendly and ok that now I hold back a bit and probably do judge them unfairly sometimes, I try not to judge people straight away , but that first impression is crucial, but sometimes people who I thought were awful turn out to be nice and vice versa , there are just some people that you get bad vibes from straight away so I tend to avoid those.

[Niamh.]

same, I wrote Mr C off as a bit of fluff when I first met him :hehe:

:laugh:

aww

[Niamh.]

...yeah I would say similar...although I wouldn’t say that I was a bad or a good judge of character, I don’t believe that any of us have any better first instincts ...but I do believe that any judgements on first instincts can actually be a barrier to seeing a ‘whole person’...we will always think we are ‘right and have good instincts’ because we’re only connecting with specific aspects of people that fit that, if that makes sense...?...waiting without judgement is the best mindset because everyone is flawed, we need to be open to seeing those flaws before we know whether we connect...

I've definitely in the past met people and thought "there's something I don't like about him/her" and it turns out they were the nicest people and on the other side I've really took to people and turned out they were assholes :laugh:

[Toy Soldier]

In my opinion you never get a second chance to make a first impression and I tend to decide in the first few minutes whether I'm going to like someone or not. I'm not going to claim I'm always right... but usually I am.

I'm the same BUT I wouldn't say for me that that's about someone being a "good or bad" person, that's just about clash of personalities. There are plenty of really good-hearted people out there who I know I'm not going to like, and don't like, based on their manner. e.g. I'm not a fan of people who are too loud or over-familiar, it does my head in, but they can be good people. At the same time, there are some absolutely ****ing awful people who I find hilarious :hehe:.

[Toy Soldier]

on the other side I've really took to people and turned out they were assholes :laugh:

Ahh there's nothing worse than feeling positively about someone and then all of a sudden they casually come out with something unforgivably sectarian/sexist/racist/homophobic and start chuckling away. Used to happen all the time with customers.

"Oh yeah, little Billy! Lovely chap, wouldn't say boo to a goose, so friendly..."
*from down the shop, Billy starts singing about killing Catholics*
"Oh ffs."

[Niamh.]

Ahh there's nothing worse than feeling positively about someone and then all of a sudden they casually come out with something unforgivably sectarian/sexist/racist/homophobic and start chuckling away. Used to happen all the time with customers.

"Oh yeah, little Billy! Lovely chap, wouldn't say boo to a goose, so friendly..."
*from down the shop, Billy starts singing about killing Catholics*
"Oh ffs."

:laugh2:

It's happened a few times, more that I thought people were nice but they were actually quite manipulative and I want to say fake but I don't even know if they were being fake, they could just switch really fast, if you know what I mean? (I'm thinking about a person irl here so don't want to go into too much detail) but have had a few similar type things with people like this irl

[Livia]

I'm the same BUT I wouldn't say for me that that's about someone being a "good or bad" person, that's just about clash of personalities. There are plenty of really good-hearted people out there who I know I'm not going to like, and don't like, based on their manner. e.g. I'm not a fan of people who are too loud or over-familiar, it does my head in, but they can be good people. At the same time, there are some absolutely ****ing awful people who I find hilarious :hehe:.

I never said I can tell good people from bad, only whether I would want anything further to do with them. Of course, in a work scenario I have to strive to get on with everyone which isn't always easy but makes for a less stressful environment. I find some people who are very yielding and accommodating are that way because they are disingenuous. I don't like loud and over-familiar people either, particularly people who want to hug or kiss me when we first meet. I like strangers to keep out of my personal space apart from maybe a firm handshake. And yeah, there are some awful people I find hilarious, but I'm never going to lunch with them or ask them over for the weekend.

[Marsh.]

No never

Meghan Markle begs to differ.

[Marsh.]

:laugh2:

It's happened a few times, more that I thought people were nice but they were actually quite manipulative and I want to say fake but I don't even know if they were being fake, they could just switch really fast, if you know what I mean? (I'm thinking about a person irl here so don't want to go into too much detail) but have had a few similar type things with people like this irl

It's ok Niamh, I doubt your mother-in-law will read this.

[Niamh.]

It's ok Niamh, I doubt your mother-in-law will read this.

aww I don't have a mother in law, I never met her, she died when Gav was a teenager

[Marsh.]

aww I don't have a mother in law, I never met her, she died when Gav was a teenager

D: Now I feel terrible.

[Ammi]

...:sad:...(..I’m sure that she would have judged you wonderfully, had she known you..)...

[Ammi]

D: Now I feel terrible.

...just pull the brim of your hat down over your eyes..no one noticed anything, anyway...

[Marsh.]

...:sad:...(..I’m sure that she would have judged you wonderfully, had she known you..)...

She's looking down on her thinking "Damn would've loved to made that girl's life a living hell!!! :fist:"

[Niamh.]

D: Now I feel terrible.

:laugh: Don't feel terrible. Although it was awful, she was killed in a car accident by a drunk priest driving down the wrong side of the road.........didn't even get his licence taken off him, he went on to hit someone else (although luckily they didn't die)

...:sad:...(..I’m sure that she would have judged you wonderfully, had she known you..)...

aww thanks. Apparently Gavs sister and her were very alike and I adore her so i like to think we'd have gotten on well

[Ammi]

...:laugh:..you’re a looney, Marsh...(..a lovely one with size 12 feet...:love:...)..

[Marsh.]

...just pull the brim of your hat down over your eyes..no one noticed anything, anyway...

https://media0.giphy.com/media/hWnYiVjNikq4/giphy.gif

[Marsh.]

:laugh: Don't feel terrible. Although it was awful, she was killed in a car accident by a drunk priest driving down the wrong side of the road.........didn't even get his licence taken off him, he went on to hit someone else (although luckily they didn't die)

Omg that's awful. :(

...:laugh:..you’re a looney, Marsh...(..a lovely one with size 12 feet...:love:...)..

:hehe:

[Ammi]

:laugh: Don't feel terrible. Although it was awful, she was killed in a car accident by a drunk priest driving down the wrong side of the road.........didn't even get his licence taken off him, he went on to hit someone else (although luckily they didn't die)



aww thanks. Apparently Gavs sister and her were very alike and I adore her so i like to think we'd have gotten on well

...a friend of mine, her dad is terminally ill...she lost her mother in law to cancer only last Christmas...anyways, both of their dream/hope was to see her daughter’s graduation...which was a few weeks ago...her dad managed to see it, a huge highlight for him and for his granddaughter...all of the pics are so emotional...:lovedup:..(...it’s something that was very much on my mind as well, things I wanted to be part of and didn’t know if that would happen...)...I’m sure sh would have loved to see the lady he chose to spend his life with and be part of his wedding day...but he had her for the time that he did and I’m sure that she loved her children very much and is still a part of who he is...

[Marsh.]

:love:

[Niamh.]

...a friend of mine, her dad is terminally ill...she lost her mother in law to cancer only last Christmas...anyways, both of their dream/hope was to see her daughter’s graduation...which was a few weeks ago...her dad managed to see it, a huge highlight for him and for his granddaughter...all of the pics are so emotional...:lovedup:..(...it’s something that was very much on my mind as well, things I wanted to be part of and didn’t know if that would happen...)...I’m sure sh would have loved to see the lady he chose to spend his life with and be part of his wedding day...but he had her for the time that he did and I’m sure that she loved her children very much and is still a part of who he is...

Yeah, as a parent, I think that's always what you would think about if you were sick, things you would miss out on to do with your kids/grandkids. That's what I always think about aswell when i think about Gavs mom, especially because Luke is a similar-ish age now to what Gav was when she died. So glad you got through it too Ammi (selfishly for us here though :p ) :hug:

[parmnion]

Sending friendly hugs to you all.