BRAND NEW PROJECT FOR BBC - would be grateful for feedback

[elliebrew]

Our latest project has been for Radio. A weekly Viral character called Val from Anfield. Every week she rings into Paul Beesleys show on BBC Radio Merseyside to have a chat and offer advice. This week wants to chat about her favourite tv show Rupauls Drag Race

Its a great platform for us during this pandemic as it means we get to keep writing and its being heard on rather a prestigious platform

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPR1me0xYfM&t

Been working on some new material. Please check out a mini look at our Parody reality series MOVIE STAR MOMS

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You can also still check out our comedy short mockumentary called Gregory's Girls set in a bakery

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I do hope you enjoy it and would welcome any and all feedback.

This is supporting material in our bid to get other works sold

[Mitchell]

Omg Matthew will love this!

[Smithy]

The writings a lot better than the acting

Also, why does it look like it’s dubbed? Sometimes the mouths seem to be a split second out from the audio?

[Beso]

Sorry ellie...nice idea..but I would have concentrated on the customers more for my main characters..hope it works though.

[elliebrew]

The writings a lot better than the acting

Also, why does it look like it’s dubbed? Sometimes the mouths seem to be a split second out from the audio?

I’m shocked that you think the acting is bad? I thought it was performed beautifully. Who was the weak link?

Also it was dubbed in places because we literally had 0 budget and the noise from the fans in set was mega noisy. So dialogue had to be replaced

[elliebrew]

Sorry ellie...nice idea..but I would have concentrated on the customers more for my main characters..hope it works though.

This was only a pilot for proof of concept.

There are
Many many customer encounters later on.

[elliebrew]

Debut thank you both for the feedback xxx

[Scarlett.]

Honestly, it's pretty great, the opening gave it a real professional feel, and it'd be something I might watch if I ever caught a bit of it on TV

[arista]

Her Hair
needs to be tied up
The First Lady.

The Lady like is not nice.
I assume it stays only on You Tube
grabbing her phone
not very informative?


4 Producers
lot of backing................

David Catterall Product.


I will give it 8 out 10
for all his hard work

[Ammi]

....I like how it reflects current things, like Gregory’s vegan sausage roll...but it feels a bit retro as well.../...a bit Dinner Ladies..?...you have a talent in your writing, Ellie ...and it’s definitely a path you should pursue...Thank you for an 8 minute smile...:love:..

[elliebrew]

Some wonderful feedback here. So glad many of you enjoyed it xx

[Amy Jade]

I liked it and would watch a series of it, Donna was great and the actress was really good and I enjoyed the intro.

I think you need a few more characters though, maybe an older lady always gossiping or an almost mute teen and I think customer interactions would be funny. Hopefully Moira would be more fleshed out too, in this she was just annoying.

[Alf]

Have you taken it to any TV executives?

Are you on the British comedy forum? There's a few fellow sitcom writers on there who you can chat with.

For me, as a huge British sitcom fan, it's not my cup of tea. I prefer the miserable, moaning, bigoted characters, they make for the funniest comedy. That's why the likes of Alf Garnett. Basil Fawlty, Victor Meldrew and Jim Royle are so iconic.

[Alf]

This Moira character reminded me a bit of a Pemberton and Shearsmith character. She reminded me a bit of the character, Hattie, from Psychoville.

[elliebrew]

Have you taken it to any TV executives?

Are you on the British comedy forum? There's a few fellow sitcom writers on there who you can chat with.

For me, as a huge British sitcom fan, it's not my cup of tea. I prefer the miserable, moaning, bigoted characters, they make for the funniest comedy. That's why the likes of Alf Garnett. Basil Fawlty, Victor Meldrew and Jim Royle are so iconic.

Thank you for the honest feedback.

Humour is incredibly subjective. Like music tastes. For me I’ve always been turned off by miserable and awkward comedy.

A lot of people find cringe comedy hilarious but it just makes me uncomfortable.

I do love absurd and camp comedy.

But hey thank you so much for taking the time to watch x

[Crimson Dynamo]

Its just a take on the office and its not funny or likely to be picked up in mo. Acting is sub par.

But i am judging against what i see on tv.

[elliebrew]

Its just a take on the office and its not funny or likely to be picked up in mo. Acting is sub par.

But i am judging against what i see on tv.

Wow harsh. Thanks

[arista]

It could go on on GoldHD
or DaveHD

So long as the Star's do the rounds on every morning TV & Radio show over 2 weeks before

[elliebrew]

It could go on on GoldHD
or DaveHD

So long as the Star's do the rounds on every morning TV & Radio show over 2 weeks before

I think we will aim a little higher than that 🤣

[elliebrew]

Bump for anyone who missed it

[Alf]

Are you from St Helens, Ellie?

[arista]

I think we will aim a little higher than that 🤣

Ch4HD Late Night

or Ch5HD

[Crimson Dynamo]

I think we will aim a little higher than that ��

like what?

if it was good enough it would it be up to you how the PR is done - you go where you are told.

Ricky Gervais does radio and morning TV to promote his shows as do all the stars as they understand PR.

[elliebrew]

Are you from St Helens, Ellie?

I’m not. I’m from Liverpool

[elliebrew]

like what?

if it was good enough it would it be up to you how the PR is done - you go where you are told.

Ricky Gervais does radio and morning TV to promote his shows as do all the stars as they understand PR.

I know how the industry works

You’re opinion is just that. Yours

99.9% of the feedback across social media has been overwhelmingly positive

Thank you for watching though 🙏❤️

[Crimson Dynamo]

I know how the industry works

You’re opinion is just that. Yours

99.9% of the feedback across social media has been overwhelmingly positive

Thank you for watching though 🙏❤️

I very much doubt that is anything other than platitudes from pals but good luck anyway and by the way if you scoff at radio and daytime im afraid you have no idea what you are on about regarding PR.

[elliebrew]

I very much doubt that is anything other than platitudes from pals but good luck anyway and by the way if you scoff at radio and daytime im afraid you have no idea what you are on about regarding PR.

I haven't scoffed at anything and the platitudes are from people who dont even know us. But again. thank you for the feedback. It is duly noted

[Cherie]

Donna was great, Moira as maybe a bit over egged, and it definitely needs more characters, writing is good, the accent needs toning down, I struggled at times, not sure if that is their accent or they are putting it on :worry:

[elliebrew]

Donna was great, Moira as maybe a bit over egged, and it definitely needs more characters, writing is good, the accent needs toning down, I struggled at times, not sure if that is their accent or they are putting it on :worry:

Thank you Cherie

Much appreciate xxx

[GoldHeart]

Moira seems too over the top annoying, but I agree that it needs other characters and customer interactions.

[Alf]

As it's set in St Helens, I'll give you a joke you can use.

There's only two things I love about St Helens, the rugby players and the beautiful women. What position do you play Donna?

[Alf]

I'm not keen on "Don't look back in anger"as the theme tune.

The Royle Family had an Oasis theme tune, it's been done.

What about." We built this city on sausage rolls" or "I love sausage rolls" which is a take on "I love rock n roll" or "If I knew you were coming I'd have baked a cake"

[Beso]

As it's set in St Helens, I'll give you a joke you can use.

There's only two things I love about St Helens, the rugby players and the beautiful women. What position do you play Donna?

That could be a customers line...an old man with a cap who comes in daily.

[elliebrew]

Bumped for those that missed it

[elliebrew]

New Trailer added for MOVIE STAR MOMS

[Ammi]

...Kiki and Sandra...Queens :lovedup:....

[Jarrod]

Okay, Gregory's Girls to be picked up by BBC Three :clap1:

I get Charity Shop Sue vibes - crossover waiting to happen?

[The Slim Reaper]

Not really my thing, but I congratulate you for getting off your arse and following your dreams.

[elliebrew]

Okay, Gregory's Girls to be picked up by BBC Three :clap1:

I get Charity Shop Sue vibes - crossover waiting to happen?

Thank you so much :) xx

[elliebrew]

Our latest project has been for Radio. A weekly Viral character called Val from Anfield. Every week she rings into Paul Beesleys show on BBC Radio Merseyside to have a chat and offer advice. This week wants to chat about her favourite tv show Rupauls Drag Race

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPR1me0xYfM&t

Its a great platform for us during this pandemic as it means we get to keep writing and its being heard on rather a prestigious platform