Is it cheating for a girl to kiss their gay friend?

[Daniel.]

I'm torn on this one.

Is it OK for a girl in a relationship to kiss ( snog) their gay best friend after a drink? I, as a gay man, often kiss my female friends when drunk (though not while they are in a relationship) but would it be cheating for a girl to have a drunken kiss with their gay friend, baring in mind it's completely platonic or is it straight up cheating?

[Swan]

Not sure whether it's cheating or not, but i know if my gf did that it wouldn't bother me.

[joeysteele]

I'd say not myself.

[Niamh.]

There's a difference between a peck and a snog fristly, I'd say definitely not if it's a peck, probably yes if it's a snog but I'd imagine not as much cheating as if you weren't gay? :laugh: I don't know

[caprimint]

I mean I'd say that sexuality shouldn't make a difference... it's still the same action whether the person is gay or straight :shrug:

But I don't think kissing is 'cheating' regardless

[Ammi]

....my thoughts would be that intimate physical contact with any other person ...(...such as a passionate kiss..)...would be defined as ‘cheating’...it doesn’t make the kiss any less because of a specific sexuality...but these boundaries are always defined by the individual couple...

[Crimson Dynamo]

Sorry but why on earth are you doing this?

I'd look at your relationship with drink first

:umm2:

[Liam-]

I’ve never understood the whole, gays making out with their female friends thing, I find it weird... but yes, I think making out with anyone else is classed as cheating somewhat whether they’re gay or not

[Daniel.]

Sorry but why on earth are you doing this?

I'd look at your relationship with drink first

:umm2:

What? I drink about once a month

[Toy Soldier]

This is a tough one because there's every chance that the girl (assuming straight) has unrequited feelings for their gay male friend... so whilst there's no chance of it GOING anywhere, it's not necessarily platonic from the perspective of the straight person.

[Toy Soldier]

I’ve never understood the whole, gays making out with their female friends thing, I find it weird... but yes, I think making out with anyone else is classed as cheating somewhat whether they’re gay or not

To be fair "cheating" is only ever a matter of consent. If everyone is aware and (genuinely) happy with the situation then it's fine... if two couples are on board with a good ol' fashioned "keys in the bowl" partner-swap then - whilst I have to say it's not MY cup of tea - it's not cheating.

So yeah in this scenario, no matter what it's not cheating if the boyfriend knows about it in advance and is fine with it. That's his call. It's only cheating if dishonesty is involved. Whether or not it's a good idea is another matter. I'd tend towards caution and say that someone in this scenario is likely to end up getting hurt.

[Toy Soldier]

So to summarise;

No it's not cheating if the girl's boyfriend knows she kisses her gay pals and doesn't care.

Yes it is cheating if he doesn't know about it or has made it clear that he isn't OK with it.

[rusticgal]

I would say a full on snog would be seen as cheating regardless of sexuality.

[Liam-]

To be fair "cheating" is only ever a matter of consent. If everyone is aware and (genuinely) happy with the situation then it's fine... if two couples are on board with a good ol' fashioned "keys in the bowl" partner-swap then - whilst I have to say it's not MY cup of tea - it's not cheating.

So yeah in this scenario, no matter what it's not cheating if the boyfriend knows about it in advance and is fine with it. That's his call. It's only cheating if dishonesty is involved. Whether or not it's a good idea is another matter. I'd tend towards caution and say that someone in this scenario is likely to end up getting hurt.

Personally I wouldn’t be happy if I was seeing someone and they ended up playing tonsil tennis with somebody else when they got vodka in them, regardless of the gender, I’d see it as cheating

[Crimson Dynamo]

What? I drink about once a month

Then why on god's earth do you feel the need to snog pals. It's disgusting

Just don't do it.

[Daniel.]

Then why on god's earth do you feel the need to snog pals. It's disgusting

Just don't do it.

Get the stick out your arse.

I do more than that with friends when drunk.

[Babayaro.]

I wouldn't say it's cheating but I guess it just depends on the situation. Like if it was a constant thing it would begin to make me feel pretty uncomfortable.

[Niamh.]

I mean if I reverse the situation, I would not be OK with Gav snogging a female friend when he was out, straight or gay wouldn't matter

[Kizzy]

I don't know what I'd call it, kind if odd there must be some feelings invested there on one side at least.

[Zizu]

....my thoughts would be that intimate physical contact with any other person ...(...such as a passionate kiss..)...would be defined as ‘cheating’...it doesn’t make the kiss any less because of a specific sexuality...but these boundaries are always defined by the individual couple...



Sooooooo ... apparently prostitutes who will do almost anything for money ... but REFUSE to KISS the punters


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

[Toy Soldier]

Then why on god's earth do you feel the need to snog pals. It's disgusting

Just don't do it.

They're just kids LT... surely you were young once :joker:. I mean obviously it's something you grow out of but surely a bit of saliva, groping and heavy petting is pretty standard stuff in the teens and early 20's?

[thesheriff443]

....my thoughts would be that intimate physical contact with any other person ...(...such as a passionate kiss..)...would be defined as ‘cheating’...it doesn’t make the kiss any less because of a specific sexuality...but these boundaries are always defined by the individual couple...

Agree completely with this.

[Toy Soldier]

these boundaries are always defined by the individual couple...

I do think that's the main point here really, there's no hard answer to this question, what constitutes cheating is entirely down to each couple (but the bar should always be set at respecting the person who has the stricter boundaries). Within reason, obviously. If one person thinks any interaction of any kind with someone else is cheating, that's not really OK :joker:.

But at the other end of the scale it's just about consent. And of course not ASSUMING consent - "I think they'd be fine with it" without actually checking is still cheating.

[Ammi]

...yeah I don’t think the sexuality of the person you passionately kiss would have any bearing at all unless it had bearing to your partner in their defining of cheating...but in general, if a couple have both equally agreed that a drunken, passionate kiss for instance would be fine for both...then it completely stays within the acceptable boundaries of that relationship...

[Toy Soldier]

...yeah I don’t think the sexuality of the person you passionately kiss would have any bearing at all unless it had bearing to your partner in their defining of cheating...but in general, if a couple have both equally agreed that a drunken, passionate kiss for instance would be fine for both...then it completely stays within the acceptable boundaries of that relationship...

The rules as a teenager were even more complicated :worry:.

"Would snogging the face off of Sue be a problem?"
"Err YES, OBVIOUSLY!!"
"What if we were ALL there and someone had spun a bottle?"
"Oh well that would be OK, just no under-the-clothes stuff"

[Cal.]

YES my boyfriend is only allowed to look and compliment me because he chose to love me and nobody else and I’m the sexiest person on this earth

[Ammi]

The rules as a teenager were even more complicated :worry:.

"Would snogging the face off of Sue be a problem?"
"Err YES, OBVIOUSLY!!"
"What if we were ALL there and someone had spun a bottle?"
"Oh well that would be OK, just no under-the-clothes stuff"

....N-N-N-NO NAKED JACUZZINESS..!!!...:laugh:...

[Lewismacfarlane]

I'd say yes but thats because I get jealous easily
Ive only been in a relationship 5 weeks and already I've been arguing with her

[Mystic Mock]

Well as long as they don't end up having sex then it can be seen as a laugh as the guy clearly isn't into the girl so there'd be nothing for the boyfriend to worry about.

[caprimint]

I'd say yes but thats because I get jealous easily
Ive only been in a relationship 5 weeks and already I've been arguing with her
She's gonna end it if you don't quit that **** real fast

[Lewismacfarlane]

She's gonna end it if you don't quit that **** real fast

I know its just how I am though

[caprimint]

I know its just how I am though
WEJs_Bqx8_o

[Niamh.]

I know its just how I am though

Oh don't use "that's just who I am" as an excuse, unless you have a reason to be so jealous then arguing over things that haven't happened is controlling and something that really needs to be worked on by you. It will turn all your relationships toxic otherwise

[Lewismacfarlane]

Oh don't use "that's just who I am" as an excuse, unless you have a reason to be so jealous then arguing over things that haven't happened is controlling and something that really needs to be worked on by you. It will turn all your relationships toxic otherwise

I want to change the way I am though as I really love the girl

[Niamh.]

I want to change the way I am though as I really love the girl

If she's going to cheat she will do so whether you argue with her or not, arguing with her about it though is going to do one of two things, it will either make her leave you because she's pissed off with being made to feel like she's doing something when she isn't or it will make her stop going out/seeing people etc because she doesn't want you to get upset. Neither is good

[Toy Soldier]

I want to change the way I am though as I really love the girl

Niamh is most wise, it's not that difficult really. You can't ever control someone, nor should you expect to, so there's no point trying or in trying to pre-empt things that might hurt you. All you can do is discuss boundaries and expectations, trust the other person, and react to things that HAVE happened... not what you "worry might" happen.

If your boundaries and expectations are wildly different then to be blunt you probably just have to accept that it isn't going to work.

[The Slim Reaper]

I want to change the way I am though as I really love the girl

Give me her number, I'm a bit of a wizard with the old texting. I'll have her back onside in no time :smug:

[Toy Soldier]

Give me her number, I'm a bit of a wizard with the old texting.

We've heard

https://media.giphy.com/media/WuGSL4LFUMQU/giphy.gif

[Niamh.]

Give me her number, I'm a bit of a wizard with the old texting. I'll have her back onside in no time :smug:

:laugh2:

[Lewismacfarlane]

Thanks for the advice guys

[caprimint]

If she's going to cheat she will do so whether you argue with her or not, arguing with her about it though is going to do one of two things, it will either make her leave you because she's pissed off with being made to feel like she's doing something when she isn't or it will make her stop going out/seeing people etc because she doesn't want you to get upset. Neither is good
I never usually agree with Niamh re: serious debates stuff lmaoo but I do here and I don't think I could have said anything better

[Crimson Dynamo]

They're just kids LT... surely you were young once :joker:. I mean obviously it's something you grow out of but surely a bit of saliva, groping and heavy petting is pretty standard stuff in the teens and early 20's?

What next

Is it cheating when I wank off the odd vagrant when if had a few and off to do my big shop?

[The Slim Reaper]

We've heard

https://media.giphy.com/media/WuGSL4LFUMQU/giphy.gif

https://media0.giphy.com/media/xT9IgHCTfp8CRshfQk/giphy.gif

[Ammi]

Give me her number, I'm a bit of a wizard with the old texting. I'll have her back onside in no time :smug:

...reported...

[The Slim Reaper]

...reported...

I know you've told me who you are before, but I have no idea who you are.:smug:

[Withano]

On a scale of no-to-yes... sort of

[Cherie]

Not Slim making the thread about himself :oh:

same every time :hee:

[Crimson Dynamo]

Katy Perry has a lot to answer for

[Niamh.]

I never usually agree with Niamh re: serious debates stuff lmaoo but I do here and I don't think I could have said anything better

thanks.....I think :laugh:

[Toy Soldier]

https://media0.giphy.com/media/xT9IgHCTfp8CRshfQk/giphy.gifIt's no joke :worry:.

[The Slim Reaper]

It's no joke :worry:.

How so?

[Marsh.]

What next

Is it cheating when I wank off the odd vagrant when if had a few and off to do my big shop?

Depends what kind of night out you're used to really. :umm2:

[Toy Soldier]

How so?Textual assault is never a laughing matter.

[The Slim Reaper]

Unless you're the one trying to make the joke.

[Marsh.]

What on God's earth is THIS?

https://i.imgur.com/S3iYpfN.jpg

[Crimson Dynamo]

TS wants a taste of dat Cherry Chapstick

:omgno:

[Toy Soldier]

What on God's earth is THIS?

https://i.imgur.com/S3iYpfN.jpgThe part of a thread it was based on got nuked by Neem but I kept it anyway even though it now makes NO SENSE. :hmph:. I can't even remember what thread it was. Or the context. I think I was pretending that Nicky had called me fat for some reason? I dunno I wasn't paying attention.

[Marsh.]

The part of a thread it was based on got nuked by Neem but I kept it anyway even though it now makes NO SENSE. :hmph:. I can't even remember what thread it was. Or the context. I think I was pretending that Nicky had called me fat for some reason? I dunno I wasn't paying attention.

The BEST part of TiBB is the remnants of random old threads that are just bizarre out of context. :amazed: