[Daniel.]

I'm torn on this one.

Is it OK for a girl in a relationship to kiss ( snog) their gay best friend after a drink? I, as a gay man, often kiss my female friends when drunk (though not while they are in a relationship) but would it be cheating for a girl to have a drunken kiss with their gay friend, baring in mind it's completely platonic or is it straight up cheating?

[Swan]

Not sure whether it's cheating or not, but i know if my gf did that it wouldn't bother me.

[joeysteele]

I'd say not myself.

[Niamh.]

There's a difference between a peck and a snog fristly, I'd say definitely not if it's a peck, probably yes if it's a snog but I'd imagine not as much cheating as if you weren't gay? I don't know

[caprimint]

I mean I'd say that sexuality shouldn't make a difference... it's still the same action whether the person is gay or straight

But I don't think kissing is 'cheating' regardless

[Ammi]

....my thoughts would be that intimate physical contact with any other person ...(...such as a passionate kiss..)...would be defined as ‘cheating’...it doesn’t make the kiss any less because of a specific sexuality...but these boundaries are always defined by the individual couple...

[LeatherTrumpet]

Sorry but why on earth are you doing this?

I'd look at your relationship with drink first

[Liam-]

I’ve never understood the whole, gays making out with their female friends thing, I find it weird... but yes, I think making out with anyone else is classed as cheating somewhat whether they’re gay or not

[Daniel.]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

Sorry but why on earth are you doing this?

I'd look at your relationship with drink first

What? I drink about once a month

[Toy Soldier]

This is a tough one because there's every chance that the girl (assuming straight) has unrequited feelings for their gay male friend... so whilst there's no chance of it GOING anywhere, it's not necessarily platonic from the perspective of the straight person.

[Toy Soldier]

Originally Posted by Liam-

I’ve never understood the whole, gays making out with their female friends thing, I find it weird... but yes, I think making out with anyone else is classed as cheating somewhat whether they’re gay or not

To be fair "cheating" is only ever a matter of consent. If everyone is aware and (genuinely) happy with the situation then it's fine... if two couples are on board with a good ol' fashioned "keys in the bowl" partner-swap then - whilst I have to say it's not MY cup of tea - it's not cheating.

So yeah in this scenario, no matter what it's not cheating if the boyfriend knows about it in advance and is fine with it. That's his call. It's only cheating if dishonesty is involved. Whether or not it's a good idea is another matter. I'd tend towards caution and say that someone in this scenario is likely to end up getting hurt.

[Toy Soldier]

So to summarise;

No it's not cheating if the girl's boyfriend knows she kisses her gay pals and doesn't care.

Yes it is cheating if he doesn't know about it or has made it clear that he isn't OK with it.

[rusticgal]

I would say a full on snog would be seen as cheating regardless of sexuality.

[Liam-]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

To be fair "cheating" is only ever a matter of consent. If everyone is aware and (genuinely) happy with the situation then it's fine... if two couples are on board with a good ol' fashioned "keys in the bowl" partner-swap then - whilst I have to say it's not MY cup of tea - it's not cheating.

So yeah in this scenario, no matter what it's not cheating if the boyfriend knows about it in advance and is fine with it. That's his call. It's only cheating if dishonesty is involved. Whether or not it's a good idea is another matter. I'd tend towards caution and say that someone in this scenario is likely to end up getting hurt.

Personally I wouldn’t be happy if I was seeing someone and they ended up playing tonsil tennis with somebody else when they got vodka in them, regardless of the gender, I’d see it as cheating

[LeatherTrumpet]

Originally Posted by Daniel.

What? I drink about once a month

Then why on god's earth do you feel the need to snog pals. It's disgusting

Just don't do it.

[Daniel.]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

Then why on god's earth do you feel the need to snog pals. It's disgusting

Just don't do it.

Get the stick out your arse.

I do more than that with friends when drunk.

[Babayaro.]

I wouldn't say it's cheating but I guess it just depends on the situation. Like if it was a constant thing it would begin to make me feel pretty uncomfortable.

[Niamh.]

I mean if I reverse the situation, I would not be OK with Gav snogging a female friend when he was out, straight or gay wouldn't matter

[Kizzy]

I don't know what I'd call it, kind if odd there must be some feelings invested there on one side at least.

[Zizu]

Originally Posted by Ammi

....my thoughts would be that intimate physical contact with any other person ...(...such as a passionate kiss..)...would be defined as ‘cheating’...it doesn’t make the kiss any less because of a specific sexuality...but these boundaries are always defined by the individual couple...

Sooooooo ... apparently prostitutes who will do almost anything for money ... but REFUSE to KISS the punters


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

[Toy Soldier]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

Then why on god's earth do you feel the need to snog pals. It's disgusting

Just don't do it.

They're just kids LT... surely you were young once . I mean obviously it's something you grow out of but surely a bit of saliva, groping and heavy petting is pretty standard stuff in the teens and early 20's?

[thesheriff443]

Originally Posted by Ammi

....my thoughts would be that intimate physical contact with any other person ...(...such as a passionate kiss..)...would be defined as ‘cheating’...it doesn’t make the kiss any less because of a specific sexuality...but these boundaries are always defined by the individual couple...

Agree completely with this.

[Toy Soldier]

Originally Posted by Ammi

these boundaries are always defined by the individual couple...

I do think that's the main point here really, there's no hard answer to this question, what constitutes cheating is entirely down to each couple (but the bar should always be set at respecting the person who has the stricter boundaries). Within reason, obviously. If one person thinks any interaction of any kind with someone else is cheating, that's not really OK .

But at the other end of the scale it's just about consent. And of course not ASSUMING consent - "I think they'd be fine with it" without actually checking is still cheating.

[Ammi]

...yeah I don’t think the sexuality of the person you passionately kiss would have any bearing at all unless it had bearing to your partner in their defining of cheating...but in general, if a couple have both equally agreed that a drunken, passionate kiss for instance would be fine for both...then it completely stays within the acceptable boundaries of that relationship...

[Toy Soldier]

Originally Posted by Ammi

...yeah I don’t think the sexuality of the person you passionately kiss would have any bearing at all unless it had bearing to your partner in their defining of cheating...but in general, if a couple have both equally agreed that a drunken, passionate kiss for instance would be fine for both...then it completely stays within the acceptable boundaries of that relationship...

The rules as a teenager were even more complicated .

"Would snogging the face off of Sue be a problem?"
"Err YES, OBVIOUSLY!!"
"What if we were ALL there and someone had spun a bottle?"
"Oh well that would be OK, just no under-the-clothes stuff"