View Full Version : Drag Race: the unauthorised 13th season [Vernon Kay is quaking]
https://i.imgur.com/8sZTX0F.png
unofficially coming soon to a reality TV subforum near you.
Braden
19-07-2020, 04:42 PM
https://media.giphy.com/media/iqdTkIBtWPfXW8SQp5/giphy.gif
https://media.giphy.com/media/iqdTkIBtWPfXW8SQp5/giphy.gif
https://media2.giphy.com/media/n41qVW5S9R06NGOgmW/giphy.gif
the part of me that decides to do something like this every summer without ever finishing it:
https://thumbs.gfycat.com/HonestUnpleasantArmyworm-small.gif
Morgan.
19-07-2020, 04:51 PM
the part of me that decides to do something like this every summer without ever finishing it:
https://thumbs.gfycat.com/HonestUnpleasantArmyworm-small.gif
You giving the RPDR forum what I give the Survivor forum, icons only
https://i.imgur.com/iL1lciy.pnghttps://i.imgur.com/UpdKv8B.png
So, as Morgan correctly pointed out, this was at first going to be a plain ole simulation like the CBB one I did the other week (long live Beverley Callard, etc etc), but then I discovered that the Drag Race simulator on BrantSteele is, to put it nicely, utterly useless. Instead, this is just going to be a speculative fantasy season of Drag Race and an excuse to show off my sub-par graphic design skills. Since Drag Race itself is wrapping up for the summer (if you consider All Stars 5 finishing in a week and the Canadian one having a whole seven weeks left to be “wrapping up”) and the map of upcoming seasons is looking somewhat uncertain thanks to the pandemic*, I figured I’d throw something together in its place.
*luck would have it that I’m typing this on the day the rumoured season 13 cast is beginning to leak, which means that, yes, Drag Race is apparently going ahead with filming this summer, contrary to what anyone with common sense would have assumed. Speaking of which, a few of the names on that leaked list may or may not also be on this fake season (which I put together a few weeks ago), so the quicker I rush this out before I get accused of plagiarism by World of Wonder, the better!
...dreams really do come true...:lovedup:...
https://i.gifer.com/Tx3S.gif
Wottice dis
Just like the incredibly subtle promo theme, all will become clear!
https://media1.tenor.com/images/417f9a9f42da6cf967a149d17edf38be/tenor.gif?itemid=17119849
Shaun
19-07-2020, 05:05 PM
Was literally just reading the one where you predicted Honey and Yvie would make it onto S11 about an hour or two ago :omgno:
Was literally just reading the one where you predicted Honey and Yvie would make it onto S11 about an hour or two ago :omgno:
Believe me, if the Drag Race spoilers subreddit is correct, my psychic track record is even better this time around :omgno:
https://i.imgur.com/enJTBO6.png
(it took me six months to come up with that pun, be kind)
...is this an interactive series like your last one and we’ll have votes via a Satelite link or via zoom etc..?...
Shaun
19-07-2020, 05:16 PM
could've at least gone with "Oh Snow She Better Don't"
or a more obscure "HAIL NO STORM OKURR?" India Ferrah reference
...is this an interactive series like your last one and we’ll have votes via a Satelite link or via zoom etc..?...
It won't be interactive so far as you have to vote every week (as even from my side of the screen I could tell that was too much to ask of people!), but I'll probably come up with ways for people to get involved as though they were watching a real season of Drag Race... perhaps including, but not limited to, voting for the winner, should I get that far to begin with!
*fart noises*
You've got Drag Race's humour level down to a tee already :love:
Shaun
19-07-2020, 05:17 PM
please no Hurricane Bianca though
Update: I am completely starting over and hiring Shaun to be the official pun writer
He will be paid in RuPeter badges
It won't be interactive so far as you have to vote every week (as even from my side of the screen I could tell that was too much to ask of people!), but I'll probably come up with ways for people to get involved as though they were watching a real season of Drag Race... perhaps including, but not limited to, voting for the winner, should I get that far to begin with!
You've got Drag Race's humour level down to a tee already :love:
....ughhhh, you’re like the mother queen feeding her starving children in these rationed times...:lovedup:...the guest panel, will they be A list, not Primark premium..?...
Do not, under any circumstances, drink, drive or frack during a storm.
https://i.imgur.com/FtWqggh.png
...I’ll give Shaun a Drag makeover as well as his pun fee....
the guest panel, will they be A list, not Primark premium..?...
Well, it's funny you should ask...
The Guest Judges
https://i.imgur.com/Z6w0lkX.png
Tyra Banks / Janet Jackson / Jamie Lee Curtis
Billie Lourd / Zendaya / Dan Levy / Lil Kim
Niecy Nash / Tove Lo / Chloe x Halle / Beanie Feldstein / Angelica Ross
Bowen Yang / Dominique Jackson / Larry Owens / Christian Siriano / Jodie Turner-Smith / Dustin Milligan
Morgan.
19-07-2020, 05:25 PM
Was literally just reading the one where you predicted Honey and Yvie would make it onto S11 about an hour or two ago :omgno:
Do you have a link to the thread as the forum has a shocking search function
Marsh.
19-07-2020, 05:26 PM
https://i.imgur.com/enJTBO6.png
Category is: flatulence?
Category is: flatulence?
Jigs already made that joke, keep up :nono:
(he says, as if this would be an accurate season of Drag Race without at least two dozen different fart jokes)
...Dominique Jackson, Jamie Lee Curtis...:love:...
Marsh.
19-07-2020, 05:30 PM
Jamie Lee Curtis. :amazed:
(Pretending I stan and she's not the only one I recognise.)
Marsh.
19-07-2020, 05:31 PM
OMG BILLIE LOURD!!!!
I take my previous comment back.
Jamie Lee Curtis. :amazed:
(Pretending I stan and she's not the only one I recognise.)
..Janet Jackson also next to Jamie, you knew that...
Marsh.
19-07-2020, 05:34 PM
..Janet Jackson also next to Jamie, you knew that...
I'm afraid all I see is hair.
Captain.Remy
19-07-2020, 05:34 PM
BUT MAKE IT FUNNY! :joker:
Whatever that means...
MAKE :clap1: US :clap1: LAUGH :clap1:
WHERE :clap1: ARE :clap1: THE :clap1: JOKES? :clap1:
I'm afraid all I see is hair.
....you didn’t get a hair cut yet...?...Just brush it over to one side...
Keep an eye out for your first glimpse at the queens of season 13...
https://i.imgur.com/J7AJ2on.png
Braden
19-07-2020, 05:46 PM
These graphics are bloody gorgeous!
Marsh.
19-07-2020, 05:46 PM
....you didn’t get a hair cut yet...?...Just brush it over to one side...
:joker:
These graphics are bloody gorgeous!
lol thanks :love: Graphic design is certainly not my passion but hey, if the real show can do it...
https://4.bp.blogspot.com/_FW86_jO7k_A/S6jeawX2-GI/AAAAAAABoBQ/2lAZAlQkJqI/s400/RuPaul%2BDrag%2BRace%2BSeason%2B2%2BEpisode%2B7%2B 7.bmp.jpg
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_FW86_jO7k_A/S6jeK1wI44I/AAAAAAABoAw/k2ml353hx7k/s400/RuPaul%2BDrag%2BRace%2BSeason%2B2%2BEpisode%2B7%2B 11.bmp.jpg
These graphics are bloody gorgeous!
...yeah they really are, I have graphic envy...
Captain.Remy
19-07-2020, 05:49 PM
I want a Bianca/Bob type of winner this time. :shrug: A long time has passed since we've had a winner that charismatic and hilarious.
Shaun
19-07-2020, 05:53 PM
Do you have a link to the thread as the forum has a shocking search function
https://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showthread.php?t=336810
I want a Bianca/Bob type of winner this time. :shrug: A long time has passed since we've had a winner that charismatic and hilarious.
You're in luck, as I've cast thirteen Instagram queens who have never performed a show between them and all started drag last Thursday!
(just kidding. I'm not quite that cruel)
Shaun
19-07-2020, 05:55 PM
this season is about to be Inzhane? :omgno:
this season is about to be Inzhane? :omgno:
obligatory BOO
Captain.Remy
19-07-2020, 05:58 PM
You're in luck, as I've cast thirteen Instagram queens who have never performed a show between them and all started drag last Thursday!
(just kidding. I'm not quite that cruel)
On his worst days Bob looked like he started drag a week ago though :joker:
(kidding!)
On his worst days Bob looked like he started drag a week ago though :joker:
(kidding!)
Speaking of which, if you've never watched Bob doing Silky Nutmeg Ganache's makeup tutorial, I would highly recommend it
WoRQzTSiy00
Captain.Remy
19-07-2020, 06:04 PM
Nawt the sharpie!
Fancy a teaser of four queens?
(sorry, I know I shouldn't use the word "fancy" in case I trigger Kennedy Davenport, I just can't help myself)
Humidity's rising... barometer's getting low...
https://i.imgur.com/8ZeyOlG.pnghttps://i.imgur.com/KSqJidq.png
https://i.imgur.com/qidvutZ.pnghttps://i.imgur.com/ZaBSTNP.png
Moniqua
19-07-2020, 06:33 PM
call me nancy drew x
B3rwu4GpaA9
call me nancy drew x
Nancy Ru, more like!
(I'll see myself out)
Tonight for the first time
Just about eight fifteen
For the first time in history
It's gonna start raining queens...
A thematically appropriate playlist to get you into the mood for the Meet the Queens:
AoAm4om0wTs
CvBfHwUxHIk
TzFnYcIqj6I
RRNdmkH8zrI
l5aZJBLAu1E
Shaun
19-07-2020, 06:57 PM
Just looked at the rumours for Season 13 and omg :love:
Lady Red finally getting the call :fc:
i3o-HvS8LLI
Now there's a guest judge I ought to have signed up :love:
Shaun
19-07-2020, 07:08 PM
me after the sixth successive week of excessive VH1 promos of this theme
X9bSL2S4POg
Dezzy’s patience being tried after the third successive week....?...
a2giXO6eyuI
Who's ready to meet some queens and get this promo theme out of the way?
Moniqua
19-07-2020, 07:15 PM
e6At--20uk8
Put on your nightgowns and say hello to queen #1...
https://i.imgur.com/Hmpn9Pv.png
NEON CALYPSO
Boston, Massachusetts
insta: neoncalypso
A “Boston queen with a Brooklyn attitude”, Neon Calypso has been laying it down in drag for the past five years. In this time, she has risen the ranks of the Northeast scene to become one of the star performers of Sasha Velour’s popular drag revue Nightgowns. As a member of the House of Velour, Neon has performed across the world (including as part of the Party Monster Ball), and was recently featured in Sasha’s Quibi documentary series that followed Nightgowns on tour.
Ever creative and outspoken, Neon’s performances often centre around an eclectic mix of political commentary, slam poetry and high-energy dance music. For example, she recently represented her home state of Massachusetts in the alternative 4th of July digital drag show Untitled (America), which sought to uplift Black and Brown queer voices by showcasing a queen of colour from each of the fifty states. Neon hosts the only drag hip-hop night in Boston, where you can (in her own words) catch her "twerking upside down against walls", and also regularly performs across New York City and New England, the latter of which is, despite what you may have heard the iconic Chi Chi DeVayne say, not overseas.
Get to know Neon:
https://i.imgur.com/tqhMYhh.png
ccpD22l2wfg
FPbWUUWS8Kc
Ffj-dXha9FE
...Miss Calypso...:love:..
Marsh.
19-07-2020, 07:26 PM
Put on your nightgowns and say hello to queen #1...
:joker:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5... here comes queen #2...
https://i.imgur.com/8DI56bj.png
6
Los Angeles, California
insta: callher6
A fierce queen with perhaps the least Google search-friendly drag name ever, 6 is bigger in the West Hollywood nightlife scene than her short moniker would suggest. In case you were wondering, she chose the name as each of her boy names contain six letters, and the number has a great deal of spiritual significance for her. Heavily tattooed and muscled, 6’s drag aesthetic incorporates elements of old school punk rock chic mixed with southern California polish. Getting her start in bars at a very young age, she began her professional career as a makeup artist and hair stylist before becoming a fully-fledged drag queen herself; you may have recently seen her work as the makeup artist for HBO’s We’re Here with Bob the Drag Queen, Shangela and Eureka.
As a hair stylist, 6 has also worked backstage at several recent Drag Race finales, just like a certain season twelve winner whose name rhymes with Trader Fluorescence Ball. Which bodes well! Speaking of season twelve, 6’s name may ring a bell as she was initially listed as part of the "leaked" cast, but I can only assume the producers feared she would be overshadowed by Aiden Zhane (or just happened to take a conveniently-timed social media break when filming began. It’s one or the other).
Get to know 6:
https://i.imgur.com/UXRj7ZP.png
7SLSu3y7OqU
JcH5gNrHrvU
UULHXSqdaqM
I can't give you two Jersey gworls (to quote Valentina), but I can certainly offer you one. Here's queen #3...
https://i.imgur.com/5aN4sYv.png
OLIVIA LUX
Jersey City, New Jersey
insta: theolivialux
Coming in straight from sequester for a VH1 television project that we won’t mention right now… er, I mean from New Jersey is our next queen, Olivia. This season’s theatrical dame, Olivia’s background is in musical theatre, dance and design. Although she is based in the Garden State, she often performs across the tri-state area, including in New York City. In fact, she was recently interviewed as part of a Buzzfeed video about drag alongside fellow New York theatre queen Jan Sport, as linked here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYJ4Lylqp5Q).
In other interviews, Olivia has spoken candidly about how her upbringing as an overweight queer Black person in rural South Jersey has inspired the social justice and commentary elements of her drag (so relax, she’s not all jazz hands and step touches); she recently represented New Jersey in Untitled (America), the same digital drag show that Neon performed in. Ever the outgoing and motivational queen, her motto in life and in drag is to "Liv it Up", and to reflect the positivity she aims to carry with her in the world she named her drag persona after the Latin word for light. Well, the Latin word for light and Olivia Pope, Kerry Washington’s character from Scandal. At least the Latin part’s highbrow.
Get to know Olivia:
https://i.imgur.com/GGJVOtD.png
PdSxFF9KHJ4
7n2p6v4fjEM
rBH4h6O9ai4
Grab your knife and fork and tuck into queen #4...
https://i.imgur.com/8FAHMrv.png
MOLTYN DECADENCE
Kansas City, Missouri
insta: moltyndecadence
Our next contestant, Moltyn, is one of the sweetest drag queens around. Literally, that is, as her drag name was inspired by an item on a dessert menu, and was chosen to reflect her "chocolatey and delicious" drag style. Beyond the dessert parlour, Moltyn is a former Miss Gay Kansas City America titleholder, just like her fellow Missouri sisters Monique Heart and Widow Von’Du, and has also won the Miss Missouri Continental and Miss Gay America Georgia pageants.
Moltyn, like 6, is a professional wig stylist and makeup artist, although her prior work as a professional sexual health counselor has inspired her role in the fight against AIDS in the Kansas City gay community. During quarantine, she has been hosting a book club on YouTube - come thru literary fish! - and recently represented Missouri in the digital drag show, you guessed it, Untitled (America). When it comes to Drag Race, however, the proof for Moltyn Decadence will be in the pudding. Let’s just hope she doesn’t have her cake and eat it. Are these puns getting a trifle annoying?
Get to know Moltyn:
https://i.imgur.com/HbBTh4q.png
2TjserHvdhs
LWhuRS88WdA
L2ViCW-S_uY
Can anyone else smell smoke? Oh wait, it's just queen #5...
https://i.imgur.com/TjSjl4F.png
TINA BURNER
New York City, New York
insta: thetinaburner
New York City’s self-described "linebacker in a pantsuit", Tina Burner is a well-established Manhattan nightlife staple and recognised comedy queen. Having performed in drag for over a decade, she runs in the same circles as many past Drag Race favourites - she hosts a Drag Race review show on YouTube with Peppermint, has starred in a TV show with Brita Filter and had a roast in her honour for her birthday last year hosted by Miz Cracker, just to name a few - and has famously applied for the show quite a few times (hmm, I wonder if this is the year she’ll finally be successful...)
The current reigning National Miss Comedy Queen, Tina regularly performs at least eight shows a week, yet somehow finds the time to spend, as she claims, ninety percent of her time doing charity work, and recently partnered with GLAAD to mark National Pride Month. In case that isn’t a long enough CV, she’s also a talented seamstress and costume designer, she makes her own lip sync comedy mixes, she was once in a boyband and she dated Graham Norton for five years. Yes, really (https://www.whatsontv.co.uk/news/graham-norton-is-single-again-just-how-he-likes-it-95254/). I’ll skip over the bit where Graham called Tina aka Kristian a "bad boyfriend" in one of his books to spare his feelings.
Get to know Tina:
https://i.imgur.com/97pssV6.png
vFXr4yoyYRM
Rc2DnI-avaE
znO6dhO-d8A
That's 5 queens down, but there are still 8 men and women in wigs hiding under wraps. Still to come: an opera singer, a professional percussionist, a professional figure skater, a bodybuilder with a master’s in marine science, a queen from north of the border, an international trans trailblazer, a queen with ties to Drag Race royalty and drag's "#1 competitive eater". So, y'know, there's something for everyone there.
There's a cold front on the way, and it comes in the form of queen #6...
https://i.imgur.com/w8poqOW.png
DENALI
Chicago, Illinois
insta: denalifoxx
Known as the Ice Princess of Chicago, Denali in fact (as you may have deduced from her mountainous namesake) originally hails from Alaska, which would make her the first queen to represent the 49th state on Drag Race. Her cold upbringing isn’t the only reason for her icy nickname; out of drag, Denali is a professional figure skater and she works as an instructor at an ice rink. Off-ice, she teaches a weekly dance class at Chicago’s Berlin nightclub, so expect her to step up in any challenges that involve choreography.
While in quarantine, Denali has participated in a drag story time programme for kids for the Museum of Contemporary Art in Chicago, so while she may not walk children in nature she’s more than capable of reading to them. Denali isn’t afraid to show off her goofy side in her performances either, as can be seen in the time she lip synced to Ariana Grande’s Be Alright as Linda Belcher from Bob’s Burgers. Recently, she decided to disappear from social media at the exact time the actual season 13 queens went into sequester I wonder what that means ho hum ho hum *twiddles thumbs*.
Get to know Denali:
https://i.imgur.com/RKJRZif.png
CALMtXCptpD
HU5xFtLq7Qk
Q1qNrHlpTKQ
Time for something sweet. Here's queen #7...
https://i.imgur.com/JNvCdk8.png
KANDY MUSE
New York City, New York
insta: thekandymuse
The Dominican doll herself, Kandy rose to drag prominence as part of the Haus of Aja, having been introduced to the world of drag as a baby queen by her drag mother, er, Aja. Now a member of the Doll Haus alongside season twelve sister Dahlia Sin, Kandy describes herself as "the New York City It-Girl", seemingly content (unlike Dahlia) with staying in the Big Apple. In terms of original music, she recently appeared on Alaska’s single Sitting Alone in the VIP, inspired by a tweet of Kandy’s that spawned a thousand drag-queens-sitting-and-staring-into-space memes that I’m sure you all spent hours and hours chuckling heartily at.
While not exactly a comedy queen herself, Kandy considers herself talented at improv, as she apparently did a lot of it in high school. Aja and Dahlia aren’t the only celebs that Kandy associates herself with; she has walked at New York Fashion Week in front of Nicki Minaj, and her original drag name, Cherry Blossom, was given to her in person by a pre-fame Lana del Rey (she later changed her name to Kandy Muse after being inspired by Andy Warhol’s muse Candy Darling). Let’s just say you should probably get used to reading the words "Kandy Muse" and "season 13" in the same sentence.
Get to know Kandy:
https://i.imgur.com/OdI6CVY.png
BfekH5una6I
XQLdvrnHI_I
UMQ9CSXfODc
https://i.imgur.com/G6UYisv.png
VERONICA TAYLOR-MYKELS
Denver, Colorado
insta: veronicataylormykels
Get ready to have your repressed emo teen memories come flooding back to you after taking one look at the drag aesthetic of our next queen, Veronica Taylor-Mykels. Hailing from the Mile-High City, she has been doing drag consecutively for four years, although had dabbled with it previously a few years earlier. She began performing in the same circles as fellow Denver queen Yvie Oddly, so at least has one reliable contact in her phone when it comes to advice on winning the Drag Race crown. Veronica’s drag mother, Kai Lee Mykels, is known as Denver’s "good Christian woman", but somehow I don’t think that’s a label that Veronica applies to herself.
In addition to being a drag queen, Veronica's a professional percussionist, and has often played the xylophone in full drag. As you can see from the attached pictures, she embraces drag as a visual art, but despite her spooky, gothic look, she counts old Hollywood glamour queens and Britney Spears among her inspirations. She hosts a regular bar show called Poppertunities and has also regularly hosted drag bingo at Hamburger Mary’s, so insert a two fat ladies joke here.
Get to know Veronica:
https://i.imgur.com/jpsQmVY.png
mnC16RVroCQ
f9RHtMSAh1Q
HaRTiP1pY2Y
Bringing some much-needed pageant class to the race, it's queen #9...
https://i.imgur.com/WT9L7px.png
JAZELL BARBIE ROYALE
Orlando, Florida
insta: jazellbarbieroyale
A Florida pageant queen through-and-through, Jazell has set herself up well for the cutthroat nature of Drag Race with the incredible success she’s had at past competitions; in 2016, she won the prestigious Miss Continental, and in 2019 she was crowned the first Black winner of Miss International Queen, a global beauty pageant for trans women. After winning the latter, she was recognised in a special ceremony by the city of Orlando. In addition to being a performer, Jazell is a dedicated HIV activist, and pledged to use her Miss International Queen title to advocate for HIV education and care.
Jazell's enormous success in the pageant world has crossed over into the drag scene, which she has been a part of for over 15 years; last year, for instance, she headlined the Austin International Drag Festival, suggesting that she’s very much a drag queen’s kind of drag queen. As well as being a female drag entertainer, Jazell is a live vocalist, so frankly I wish the very best of luck to anyone going up against her in a singing challenge. Or, indeed, a lip sync.
Get to know Jazell:
https://i.imgur.com/Gy7aQbd.png
zsfEMFDIDSY
XtRSDR0ER-U
BHHa18FDjVA
This next serving of fish will go nicely with maple syrup. It's queen #10...
https://i.imgur.com/8M80847.png
GIA METRIC
Vancouver, British Columbia
insta: gia.metric
Brooke Lynn Hytes, Jackie Cox and the entire cast of Canada’s Drag Race better move over, because there’s a new Canadian queen taking to the Drag Race runway. All hail Gia Metric, a former winner of both Vancouver’s Next Drag Superstar and Vancouver’s Entertainer of the Year. A self-described drag shapeshifter, Gia is originally from Toronto, and now performs as part of Bratpack, Vancouver’s "hottest drag girl-group" slash "live reality drag show".
When not setting fire to the stage, Gia can be found on the catwalk - she has walked the runway and performed at New York Fashion Week. In addition to living her drag pop star fantasies in front of crowds all over Canada, she incorporates mental health advocacy into her drag and considers herself a role model in the Vancouver community. Let’s see if she’ll be able to do what Brooke Lynn couldn't and take the Canadian bacon back home, shall we? (yes, I’m straight-up stealing jokes from Canada’s Drag Race now, I have zero shame)
Get to know Gia:
https://i.imgur.com/f8u9Nkg.png
erXdpc-vy4c
y-l3i13Gy8k
QvlUiJC51es
Baby, there's a shark in the water... better call queen #11...
https://i.imgur.com/HkbxnF4.png
MISS TOTO
Chicago, Illinois
insta: themisstoto
As a "bionic, bodybuilder goddess", one of Miss Toto’s aims as a drag queen is to challenge the conventional associations of muscles with masculinity (out of drag, they are gender non-conforming and work as a professional fitness instructor). As well as being a drag queen and nationally-qualified bodybuilder, Toto has a master’s degree in marine science, making her the undisputed shark queen of season 13, if such a title were to exist.
While she got her start in Florida, where she earned the title of Miami’s Best Drag Queen in 2018, Toto recently moved to Chicago to make the most of the opportunities in the Windy City alternative drag scene. There, she has earned a reputation as a lip sync assassin, not just for her flexibility and energetic stunts, but also for her creativity; she has performed in drag as everything from Rosa Parks to Garnet from Steven Universe. She is the mother of the House of Gaynz, a drag family that includes the excellently-named FKA Twink, and is a founding member of the Unfriendly Black Hotties, in which she regularly performs alongside Bambi Banks-Couleé, Kenzie Couleé and Khloe Couleé (as you may have noticed, Toto is the only one of the four who isn’t a daughter of Shea. I guess we can’t all be Couleés).
Get to know Toto:
https://i.imgur.com/Hjryqc0.png
S4xXDiBsY1Y
NaPZ8bbe_Og
D3iVCGj5NRA
Only two names remain until the cast is complete, but as the famous saying goes, it ain't over until the drag queen sings. Here's queen #12...
https://i.imgur.com/dQxPh5S.png
JASMINE RICE LABEIJA
New York City, New York
insta: jasminericenyc
As her name implies, Jasmine Rice LaBeija belongs to the Royal House of LaBeija, the legendary New York drag family founded by Crystal LaBeija herself. Jasmine was born in Los Angeles, but moved to Korea as a toddler and lived there until the age of 16. Upon her return to the United States, she trained in vocal performance at New York’s prestigious Juilliard School, making her a talented opera singer; she was partly inspired to do drag by the opera movie Farinelli.
Much like her close friend and fellow season 13 queen (in this reality, at least) Tina Burner, Jasmine is well-connected to the New York Drag Race girls; she began her drag career at Pride in 2012 alongside Monét X Change, who she met on a summer singing programme, and her first proper performance was at a pageant hosted by Thorgy Thor (Jasmine’s own pageant wins include Miss New Jersey Continental Plus and Miss Industry). As far as families go, Jasmine is the drag daughter of bearded New York City legend Kizha Carr, and she herself is the drag mother of Canada’s Drag Race queen Lemon. What a fun episode of Who Do You Think You Are that would be.
Get to know Jasmine:
https://i.imgur.com/d4QT2Gv.png
35vGubEemhs
ROEM_J-ss9I
ddPMvDAlmAE
And lucky queen #13 is... Makosi Musambasi! oh fine, I'll reveal the actual final queen in just a sec
https://i.imgur.com/CifndUx.png
KORNBREAD JETÉ
Los Angeles, California
insta: kornbreadthesnack
Described in her own words as "drag’s #1 competitive eater", Kornbread is a regular performer on the West Hollywood scene at bars such as Micky’s and the Abbey; at one bar, she hosts a show called Hot Chicks and Breadsticks (I assume she’s a fan of both, as we all should be). At these bars, she regularly performs with a frying pan with which she collects tips from the crowd, proving her commitment to her food shtick. Her drag mother Calypso Jeté recently starred as a contestant on HBO Max’s Legendary and (spoiler alert) did rather well.
Kornbread must have inherited this winning gene from her mother, as she herself won the gloriously-titled first ever Queen Kong Queer Star Search, hosted by the Boulet Brothers of Dragula fame. On the internet, Kornbread regularly appears in an acting capacity in YouTube comedian Brandon Rogers’ Blame the Hero video series, which has also starred none other than season 5 winner Jinkx Monsoon. If you’ve already read a couple of these introductions, it won’t surprise you to find out that Kornbread recently represented California in the digital drag show Untitled (America). I wonder if there’ll be a secret Untitled (America) alliance going on this season.
Get to know Kornbread:
https://i.imgur.com/m7pJNeF.png
uKY5aUXboWI
DxqYRAJk4TM
mezYd2tf4wk
The Unauthorised Cast of Drag Race Season 13
https://i.imgur.com/PK7h2fL.pnghttps://i.imgur.com/0lzMODl.pnghttps://i.imgur.com/e3BOgaw.pnghttps://i.imgur.com/GF3njrR.png
https://i.imgur.com/q6Wu2nz.pnghttps://i.imgur.com/Q8Oskt7.png
https://i.imgur.com/v7dNX46.pnghttps://i.imgur.com/aWa61Wx.pnghttps://i.imgur.com/uL1vAdC.png
https://i.imgur.com/ZCDbMVO.pnghttps://i.imgur.com/lXjMXyt.pnghttps://i.imgur.com/6BwFSTJ.pnghttps://i.imgur.com/YQW9ysR.png
6
Denali
Gia Metric
Jasmine Rice LaBeija
Jazell Barbie Royale
Kandy Muse
Kornbread Jeté
Miss Toto
Moltyn Decadence
Neon Calypso
Olivia Lux
Tina Burner
Veronica Taylor-Mykels
Whew! :clap1:
"Whew" was also my reaction after finishing that marathon of a reveal
I have no idea how Adam Rippon does it
More will be posted tomorrow, including (maybe, I haven't decided the pace of this thing yet) the first episode, but in the meantime feel free to post thoughts/make predictions/cancel the queens for lip syncing the wrong Whitney song that one time/enquire about my sanity! :love:
Shaun
20-07-2020, 01:57 AM
I've heard of, I think, six of these (6 is not one of them, sadly). Miss Toto annoys the hell out of me on Twitter.
...it all looks sunny atm but will it turn cloudy with a chance of Queenballs...(...that sounded dodgy, I didn’t mean it to, it just flowed with the pun...)...
...I don’t know any of them, you are all much more familiar with the scene, I’m just a dragette and quite new to being a fan...so only really know the ones of the series I’ve watched...I’ll have a proper read later, as there is a lot to absorb...(...thank you, MB..:love:...)...
...I really love the style of Moltyn Decadence, she’s just so warrior queen and has great style...Denali..:love:... heaven must be missing an angel child..?...Jazell Barrie Royale, spectacular...:love:..such elegance ...because though, 13 is my lucky number...I’m going to go all out at this early stage and say Kornbread Jete is the lady we all need to be looking at...a hot chick with breadsticks, marvellous...:lovedup:...
Captain.Remy
20-07-2020, 09:47 AM
I've heard of 6 and of Jazell Barbie Royale because she lately became a meme thanks to her "breast" performance that was compared to Moses parting the Red Sea...
...Jazell, the biblical Queen...:lovedup:..
Captain.Remy
20-07-2020, 10:05 AM
She's exactly how I pictured Moses in the first place anyway :joker:
If my teachers at Catholic High School heard me saying that :skull:
Captain.Remy
20-07-2020, 10:07 AM
At 2:28. We stan a queen parting seas in half.
zsfEMFDIDSY
...that was a spiritual experience...:love:...she’s exactly how I always tried to picture my teachers at Catholic School, tbh...I’m pretty sure underneath those habits, that’s what the nuns were wearing...
https://i.imgur.com/M0FzIpp.png
Titles for Episodes 1 & 2 Revealed!
Episode 1: The Fashion Fixers
Six new queens enter the werk room, only to be put immediately put to the test in their first challenge. Each paired with an All Star queen from seasons past, the new queens must use their fresh-brained creativity to redesign the concepts for their All Star partners' less successful looks. On the runway, the new queens will present the fixed fashions in front of extra special guest judge Janet Jackson.
Episode 2: The Garment Gurus
Fashionably late to the party, the remaining seven queens join the competition. Just like the group that came before them, the new queens are each paired with a previous All Star, and are tasked to redo one of their partner's failed runway looks. The new queens, or the Garment Gurus, will then be judged on their All Star makeovers by the judges, including special guests Billie Lourd and Tove Lo.
.....oooo, Janet Jackson in the first episode...I can’t wait to see the fixed fashion runways...
I'm very sorry to say that I think "RuDio Times" will be my peak as far as the puns go this series
I'm very sorry to say that I think "RuDio Times" will be my peak as far as the puns go this series
...I was thinking of a newspaper article about it and I was thinking in the Ru York Times...but that really doesn’t work at all, it’s fairly awful...you have no idea how clever RuDio Times really is...(...or Ru-lly is...)...if you never do another one...?..I’m still in awe...:flutter:...
Shaun
20-07-2020, 05:18 PM
the fact you have come up with a logo for a fictional leak of episode titles is perhaps the most "extra" thing I have seen on TiBB since Veggie Big Brother 3 :love:
I am here for this, the effort and dedication that has gone in is undeniable!!
Daniel-X
20-07-2020, 09:50 PM
I loved the last one you did MB so I’ll definitely be following :love: Jazell or Jasmine to win!
Thanks both! :love:
Just looked at the rumours for Season 13 and omg :love:
Lady Red finally getting the call :fc:
It turns out she isn't on and has actually been in the ICU due to health issues :(
https://i.imgur.com/GEfBQYh.png
Entrances
Six new, fresh-faced queens - Jasmine Rice LaBeija, Denali, Kornbread Jeté, Olivia Lux, Jazell Barbie Royale and 6 - enter the werk room.
https://i.imgur.com/b41m1au.pnghttps://i.imgur.com/PYmmsKw.pnghttps://i.imgur.com/vtcKj6V.pnghttps://i.imgur.com/zpn7fj7.pnghttps://i.imgur.com/ZryP26i.pnghttps://i.imgur.com/95FUjRC.png
As for early glimmers of potential storylines: Olivia gives a confessional about how gagged she is to see someone with as big a reputation as Jasmine (but worries Jasmine could overshadow her when it comes to singing challenges), the queens can’t stop talking about how stunning Jazell is in person, and 6, who knows Kornbread from the West Hollywood drag scene, says her sister can turn a party, but thinks her entrance look is a little on the messy side.
Mini Challenge
In keeping with the promo theme, the queens must channel their inner super-sheroes and go flying during a freak storm (with a little help from a green screen and a wind machine) for a photoshoot. The judges are windswept away by 6's photo and she's declared the winner of the mini-challenge.
Main Challenge
Once the queens have glued their lashes back on and fixed the wind damage to their wigs, Ru introduces them to six Drag Race All Stars who just happened to be on the studio lot (namely Bob the Drag Queen, Ginger Minj, Miz Cracker, Monique Heart, Nina West and Yvie Oddly).
Ru then reveals that, for the new queens’ first main challenge, they must work with one of the All Stars to redo one of their less successful runway looks. They must then present these looks on the main stage in front of Janet Jackson (so... no pressure). As the winner of the mini challenge, 6 gets to pair her fellow queens to their All Stars. She does so as follows:
6 picks Bob the Drag Queen, and will recreate her Roller Girl Realness (http://static.dragrate.com/images/820.jpg) look
Denali is assigned Miz Cracker to recreate her Alaskan Winter Realness (https://preview.redd.it/gz2fv4or0p821.jpg?auto=webp&4a1567ef) look
Jasmine is assigned Nina West to recreate her Farm to Runway (https://i.imgur.com/UtUNIsG.jpg) look
Jazell is assigned Monique Heart to recreate her Mermaid Fantasy (https://imagesvc.meredithcorp.io/v3/mm/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fstatic.onecms.io%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2Fsites%2F6%2F2018%2F05%2Fmoniqu e-heart9-2000.jpg) look
Kornbread is assigned Yvie Oddly to recreate her Monster I’d Like to Freak (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D23anBVVYAATvs9.jpg) look
Olivia is assigned Ginger Minj to recreate her Future of Drag (http://static.dragrate.com/images/834.jpg) look
(I apologise for making you have to look at any of those looks again)
Mirror Chat
The All Star queens give their partners advice on how to succeed in the competition (although Cracker's advice to Denali is just "throw some loose pearls onto the runway as you walk off. Maybe a banana peel or two"). Jazell discusses the Miss International Queen pageant that she won last year with Monique, and tells her about the struggles she’s faced as a trans woman doing drag.
Runway
In addition to their All Star partners modelling the redesigned looks they made, the new queens take to the runway themselves. Category is Beach Please (so swimwear, summer dresses and other such beach-ready attire; see below for a quickly thrown-together moodboard).
https://i.imgur.com/PpBXh2L.png
Judging
The judges praise 6’s redesigned look for Bob, an 80s Mad Max-meets-Tron roller derby outfit that Michelle says could easily have come off as costumey, but doesn’t. Similarly, they think the floral jumpsuit she wears herself is an original take on the Beach Please category.
Denali’s redesign of Cracker’s hairkini outfit is criticised by the judges for too closely resembling the original look (Michelle points out that all she’s really done is add a hairy hat), and while they mostly like her beach runway, Carson thinks it lacks the creativity of some of the other queens.
Even though the judges think Jasmine’s latex beach runway is the kind of thing they’ve already seen before, they think the corn husk-covered opera gown (complete with a reveal of knickers made of sweetcorn) that she makes for Nina is extremely clever, as it demonstrates that she’s able to balance glamour and comedy.
The judges love the redesigned mermaid look that Jazell makes for Monique, particularly the elaborate coral detailing and the use of different shades of blue to create the illusion of waves. It’s also praise across the board for Jazell’s beach runway (I picture it being similar to the red outfit with the hat that you see in the moodboard above), which they say complements her skin tone really well. Guest judge Janet Jackson especially loves how poised Jazell is.
Kornbread’s take on Yvie’s voodoo doll look is a kooky, cartoon-esque outfit with big eyes and oversized pins. Michelle suggests that the execution could have been a lot cleaner, but thinks the concept shows off her creativity and originality. Carson says there’s something he likes about Kornbread that he can’t quite put his finger on, while Ru makes a “Kornbread? I don’t remember eating Kornbread” pun.
Finally, the judges like the reference points Olivia uses for Ginger Minj’s redesigned look (it’s a very campy Barbarella-esque outfit, and incorporates some of the LED aspects of the original look), but Michelle thinks her beach runway of a black and white polka dot bikini is veering on safe.
Results
Safe (Low): Denali
Safe: Kornbread Jeté
Safe: Olivia Lux
Safe (High): 6
Safe (High): Jasmine Rice LaBeija
Winner: Jazell Barbie Royale
Ru informs the queens that nobody will be going home tonight. Instead, as the winner, Jazell must lip sync against her All Star partner, Monique, for a cash tip. Cue the dramatic lighting and clenched tucks.
Lip Sync for Your Legacy
Jazell Barbie Royale
vs.
Monique Heart
https://i.imgur.com/q6Wu2nz.png https://i.imgur.com/ejIPxyj.png
to
Escapade
(Janet Jackson)
UFX3gQHIroU
The queens lip sync. Surprisingly for Monique, her wig stays on the whole time, but she's no match for Jazell's energy and musicality.
"Jazell Barbie Royale... you're a winner, baby."
Jazell celebrates winning her first challenge and first lip sync all in one, before Ru warns the queens not to get too complacent, as there are seven more fierce queens on the way...
To be continued!
Braden
21-07-2020, 09:07 PM
Come through, Jazell!
Captain.Remy
22-07-2020, 10:11 AM
The effort and work you're putting into this is amazing. Well done MB!
..I think Jazell is going to be one of my favourites, she has that Jaida Essence Hall, elegance...lovely first runway, MB and lovely first guest judging from Ms Jackson ..:love:..
Shaun
22-07-2020, 11:47 AM
excellent lipsync song potential :love:
Thank you all for enabling me reading!
The next episode will be up tomorrow, and excitingly it's... exactly the same challenge as this week, just with different queens (blame budget cuts)
also, on a tangential note, one of the queens rumoured for the actual season 13 cast was debunked today because someone spotted that she was active on Pokémon Go. As always, truth is stranger than fiction :love:
https://i.imgur.com/ZASeagg.png
Entrances
The remaining seven queens - Miss Toto, Tina Burner, Moltyn Decadence, Gia Metric, Veronica Taylor-Mykels, Neon Calypso and Kandy Muse - enter the werk room, only to find that the other queens have already made themselves at home there. Toto begins to rifle through their stuff, followed by Tina, who finds a nice feather boa she likes.
https://i.imgur.com/Yv2jBBR.pnghttps://i.imgur.com/pBB4LgW.pnghttps://i.imgur.com/Wdr6YJP.pnghttps://i.imgur.com/XRMQmMl.pnghttps://i.imgur.com/mbVgJfn.pnghttps://i.imgur.com/jEzVith.pnghttps://i.imgur.com/dAmrR4k.png
In a confessional, Tina talks about how Kandy has a reputation for being a bit of a messy drama starter bsack in New York, but says that if that's what it's going to take to win, she won't be entirely congenial herself...
Mini Challenge
Using a ladder and a prayer, the queens must quite literally step their pussy up by rescuing a stuffed cat from a particularly tall tree. Oh and since it's for a photoshoot, they have to look graceful while doing so. Gia strikes the finest feline pose and wins the mini-challenge.
Main Challenge
Ru welcomes this week's seven All Star queens - Asia O'Hara, Heidi N Closet, Monét X Change, Peppermint, Trinity the Tuck, Silky Nutmeg Ganache and Vanessa Vanjie Mateo - into the werk room. Just like last week, the winner of the mini-challenge (in this case Gia) has to pair the new queens up with one of the All Stars, with the main challenge being to redesign a look that we'd rather forget.
Gia picks Asia O'Hara for herself, and will recreate her Butterfly (https://attitude.co.uk/media/images/2018/07/Asia-1.jpg) look
Kandy is assigned Trinity the Tuck to recreate her LaLaPaRuZa (https://i.redd.it/50g221m5ncw21.jpg) look
Moltyn is assigned Heidi N Closet to recreate her Makeover (https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/logosrupaulsdragrace/images/4/41/HeidiMakeoverLook.png/revision/latest?cb=20200505215949) look
Neon is assigned Monét X Change to recreate her Drag on a Dime (https://imagesvc.meredithcorp.io/v3/mm/image?q=85&c=sc&poi=face&w=1333&h=1777&url=https%3A%2F%2Fstatic.onecms.io%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2Fsites%2F6%2F2019%2F06%2Frpdr_1 001_monet_sponge_silo-2000.jpg) look
Toto is assigned Vanessa Vanjie Mateo to recreate her Drag on a Dime (https://maxiweinstein.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/vanessa3.png?w=740) look
Tina is assigned Peppermint to recreate her Naughty Nighties (https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e7ad0cd7bdce1a63515d5c/1508660056884-762NZHRIW9RZIVTLGR8H/ke17ZwdGBToddI8pDm48kCb-VzTKDcOXESn7gA2aQk4UqsxRUqqbr1mOJYKfIPR7LoDQ9mXPOj oJoqy81S2I8N_N4V1vUb5AoIIIbLZhVYxCRW4BPu10St3TBAUQ YVKcVBF2YmD8ZcVmJVUUHxEJIjxfD_DpEbrVwLKIro29AQUewl kZzdV9pvtq5u0wxbHJ/9.png) look
Veronica is assigned Silky Nutmeg Ganache to recreate her Facekini (https://imagesvc.meredithcorp.io/v3/mm/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fstatic.onecms.io%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2Fsites%2F6%2F2019%2F03%2Fsilky_ nutmeg_ganache_1-2000.jpg) look
Mirror Chat
Tina thanks Gia for pairing her up with her longtime drag sister Peppermint, as they already have an established working relationship and know each other's fashion tastes well. Veronica, on the other hand, fears Gia might have set her up by pairing her with Silky, who keeps insisting that Veronica does her makeup with a Sharpie. Gia's partner Asia, meanwhile, thinks the producers have set her up by forcing her to be in the vicinity of Monét's sponge dress again.
Elsewhere, Moltyn, Neon and Toto compare their home drag scenes (basically, Toto lives in Chicago = big, Neon often takes the bus to gigs in New York = big, Moltyn lives in Missouri = not-so-big), while Kandy is, to Tina's relief, surprisingly quiet, although it may just be the calm before the storm.
Shaun
23-07-2020, 07:20 PM
also, on a tangential note, one of the queens rumoured for the actual season 13 cast was debunked today because someone spotted that she was active on Pokémon Go. As always, truth is stranger than fiction :love:
SpoiledDragRace are going to look very stupid when it emerges that the second maxi challenge was to convince "trade" to do the most trades on Hollywood Boulevard (a la the Cherry Pie challenge from S2), with a sponsored maxi-challenge prize of a trip to Japan
Runway
This week's runway category for the new queens is Frills, No Spills, meaning exaggerated outfits that incorporate ruffled, pleated or frilly material. See below for a moodboard:
https://i.imgur.com/CdjAqWS.png
Judging
Gia gets high praise for her reimagining of Asia's fated butterfly look, which is a three-dimensional outfit decorated with multicoloured paper butterflies (not unlike Acid Betty's dove look). Combined with Gia's own Elizabethan-style ruff look on the runway, Ross says he thinks we've found this season's fashion queen.
It turns out that the reason Kandy was so quiet in the werk room was because she was desperately trying to figure out how to turn Trinity's cape into something decent. The end result of a pantsuit isn't too bad, although the judges would have liked to have seen better construction and a clearer throughline between the two outfits.
Moltyn’s version of Heidi's disco diva look, which she has turned from a jumpsuit into a gown, doesn't go down too well with the judges. Michelle in particular thinks that Moltyn's new look for Heidi loses all the fun of the original outfit, e.g. the comically oversized sleeves, and finds Moltyn's own runway look a little basic in addition.
Neon, who was assigned Monét's infamous sponge dress, gets praise for her creative use of the sponges, which she has cut up to resemble spikes. Guest judge Tove Lo says the look reminds her of a "sponge warrior", which I'm pretty sure was the original nickname for Barry Scott from the Cillit Bang adverts. The judges also like Neon's inventive take on the Frills, No Spills runway category.
Having been given Miss Vanjie's doll look to remake, Toto goes all in on the use of the bodysuit in the original outfit, and comes up with a lucha libre-style look complete with a wrestling mask painted to look like a doll's head. So Vanjie can live out her best Mexican wrestler fantasy on the runway, Toto also attaches dolls to the bodysuit using string, which swing around all over the place as Vanjie poses. Ross says that it's all a bit chaotic, but there's something about Toto's creative vision that he loves; guest judge Billie Lourd agrees, and says she can see this creativity in Toto's Dorothy-from-Wizard-of-Oz-inspired frilly look.
Tina makes the most of her psychic connection with her New York sister Peppermint to improve her nighty look, taking it from an ill-fitting top-and-skirt combo to a fluffy pink retro ensemble that has touches of Divine from Female Trouble in it. Michelle in particular thinks that the look is full of character and lets them know exactly who Tina is as a queen. "It's a good night for Tina Burner," says Ross, which I put in just because it's something he seems to say about a queen at least once an episode.
Last but not least, Veronica's redo of Silky's fly look is not anywhere near as disastrous as it could have been. This is largely because Veronica veers away from whatever Silky's original concept was and more towards a horror-inspired look, with graphic makeup (not applied with a Sharpie) and oversized mesh wings. The judges like the unique approach, although they suggest parts of the outfit that could have been tidied up.
Results
Safe (Low): Moltyn Decadence
Safe: Kandy Muse
Safe: Miss Toto
Safe: Veronica Taylor-Mykels
Safe (High): Neon Calypso
Safe (High): Tina Burner
Winner: Gia Metric
As with last week, no queen goes home; instead, the winning queen (Gia) must lip sync for a cash tip against her All Star partner (which would of course be Asia). Guest judge Tove Lo is told for the first time that the lip sync song isn't going to be one of hers, and is so mad that she breaks a light bulb with her fist.
SpoiledDragRace are going to look very stupid when it emerges that the second maxi challenge was to convince "trade" to do the most trades on Hollywood Boulevard (a la the Cherry Pie challenge from S2), with a sponsored maxi-challenge prize of a trip to Japan
The title of said maxi challenge of course being She Done Already Done Had Heracross
...a purrfect mini challenge for Gia...:love:..
....your graphics are gorgeous, MB...:flutter:...
Lip Sync for Your Legacy
Asia O'Hara
vs.
Gia Metric
https://i.imgur.com/dLARLNt.png https://i.imgur.com/e3BOgaw.png
to
Walking on Air
(Katy Perry)
t4D5egXVqSg
As it turns out, Gia might have ended up sabotaging herself this week, as Asia's ornate butterfly look works so perfectly for this lip sync number that Gia (in her Queen Elizabeth I get-up) is left in the dust.
"Asia O'Hara... you're a winner, baby."
Ru reveals that the cash tip will instead roll over into the prize fund, making the total winner's prize a nice round, er, $105,000. Pre-taxes, of course. It's my understanding that the actual amount the queens win is somewhere around $20,000 and a lifetime of Jeremy Kost bothering them in their Instagram comments.
...Katy Perry, the shade of it...:laugh:..
...a purrfect mini challenge for Gia...:love:..
....your graphics are gorgeous, MB...:flutter:...
It's certainly a challenge that will have given the other queens paws for thought (and thank you! :love: I think this particular one was made on my lunch break but hey, it's the thought that counts)
Next time on RuPaul's Drag Race...
Episode 3: The RuPer Bowl Halftime Show
All thirteen queens come together for the first time, only to immediately split off into two competing girl groups. For this week's maxi challenge, they must write and record verses for two rival pop smashes-in-the-making, ‘Too Hot to Touchdown’ and ‘N.F.L. (Nasty Freaky Ladies)’. They must then choreograph halftime show-worthy routines and perform them in front of this week's extra special guest judge, Lil Kim.
Shaun
23-07-2020, 07:34 PM
The title of said maxi challenge of course being She Done Already Done Had Heracross
*fires my intern who only managed to come up with Blazikens Across the Board*
...I’m just reading about Jazell Barbie Royale being crowned Miss International Queen...:love:...the first black woman to be crowned...?....
https://assets.teenvogue.com/photos/5c9a9cafc9fe126852080594/16:9/w_2560%2Cc_limit/00-hero-jazell.jpg
“I want to be able to represent trans equality around the world. I want to be able to educate our allies, or people that don’t like us or understand us. I want them to see that we’re beautiful, we’re educated, we’re talented, and we can maneuver in society just like anyone else.”...:lovedup:..
...image warning:...that spoiler is there for a reason...beware!!!...
...gorgeous though...:love:..
...I’m just reading about Jazell Barbie Royale being crowned Miss International Queen...:love:...the first black woman to be crowned...?....
https://assets.teenvogue.com/photos/5c9a9cafc9fe126852080594/16:9/w_2560%2Cc_limit/00-hero-jazell.jpg
“I want to be able to represent trans equality around the world. I want to be able to educate our allies, or people that don’t like us or understand us. I want them to see that we’re beautiful, we’re educated, we’re talented, and we can maneuver in society just like anyone else.”...:lovedup:..
There's a good reason why one third of her name is Royale :love:
also, for anyone wanting to imagine what these people would actually look like in the werk room/their confessionals/the Shade Tree (RIP), here are the queens out of drag:
https://i.imgur.com/WgGrNSE.png
top row: 6, Gia, Jazell, Kornbread, Moltyn, Olivia, Veronica
bottom row: Denali, Jasmine, Kandy, Toto, Neon, Tina
Daniel-X
24-07-2020, 12:06 AM
Suddenly I want Toto to win
..you think of everything, MB...:love:...it is always lovely to see them out of drag and in the werk room as well, as that’s where we learn a bit about their lives and I love that...and then seeing the transformation into ultimate glamour for the runway...
Suddenly I want Toto to win
I was hoping nobody would clock the very, very subtle subliminal messages in the photos I picked for her and Gia
then again one of the queens apparently on the real season 13 looks like this, so I've been outdone by World of Wonder yet again (spoiler tagged partly for the actual spoiler, partly for the gratuitous nipples)
B9oBNUEh3fo
Shaun
24-07-2020, 07:34 PM
jesus h christ
no I don't think Jesus applied this season
Shaun
24-07-2020, 07:40 PM
shame, she's been turning looks as 'slim'
...:laugh:..with Jazell’s Moses realness as well, this is feeling quite the religious/biblical series...
Speaking of religious experiences, Lil' Kim's episode is coming right up xo
https://i.imgur.com/QoxuZWO.png
The Queens Meet
The episode two queens enter the werk room to find the queens from episode one waiting for them, and as usual, we get a Mexican standoff between the two groups. That is, of course, until New York sisters Jasmine and Tina excitedly run at each other like a pair of horny cats, as though they weren’t tipped off to the other being on the season when they went to the same designer for all their outfits (oh you New York queens, never change).
Other queens with preexisting relationships, such as Chicago's Denali and Toto, also reconnect through the art of hugging and screaming, while queens with smaller reputations in the outside world, such as Veronica and Moltyn, introduce themselves to the slightly sceptical group. "These big name queens could eat these small fish up," Jasmine from NYC tells LA's 6, who nods in agreement.
A catching-up (/gossiping) session ensues, and it's quickly spilled that Jazell and Gia are currently the queens to beat with a challenge win each. Jasmine in particular looks visibly surprised that skinny young thing Gia won for her group, while Tina jokingly (...I think) suggests that Kandy should have been in the bottom last week over Moltyn. Kandy does not look best pleased, although that might just be the way she paints.
Main Challenge
It's a new day in the werk room, and Ru welcomes the queens as one big group for the first time. As the winners of the first two challenges, Jazell and Gia are each assigned the role of team captain for this week's maxi challenge, and as such they get to pick the members of their girl groups for the upcoming RuPer Bowl Halftime Show extravaganza. The teams end up as follows, with the queens listed in the order they were chosen:
Team Jazell (Team Too Hot to Touchdown)
Jazell Barbie Royale
Neon Calypso
Miss Toto
Denali
Jasmine Rice LaBeija
6
Kornbread Jeté
Team Gia (Team Nasty Freaky Ladies)
Gia Metric
Olivia Lux
Kandy Muse
Moltyn Decadence
Tina Burner
Veronica Taylor-Mykels
Kornbread, who was the only queen not to be picked and therefore got to choose her team, promises to surprise everyone by being the MVP of the game. I wouldn't like my odds if I were to be tackled by her, let's put it that way. Yay football references!
Rehearsals
Team Jazell write and record their verses for 'Too Hot to Touchdown', with trained singer Jasmine taking to the mic like Jinkx Monsoon's duck to water. Neon and Toto, meanwhile, get inventive with their respective rap verses, bouncing off one another with an assortment of American football puns; Neon in particular mentions that she wants her rap to be as tight as can be for her idol, guest judge Lil' Kim. Afterwards, the team heads to dance rehearsals with choreographer Jamal Sims, who is on standby as they choreograph their girl group routines. As a dancer, Denali confidently takes the lead on the choreography, helping Jazell put the number together. On the other hand, Jamal calls out 6 for fading into the background (which seems a given when sharing a stage with six other drag queens), while Kornbread confesses she is struggling to pick up the steps, causing Jazell some concern. Kornbread begins to worry that her team leader might have been right not to pick her after all.
Meanwhile, Team Gia record their verses for their song, 'N.F.L. (Nasty Freaky Ladies)'. Olivia's musical theatre belting takes her teammates by surprise ("I thought she was just here to be the pretty one," admits Tina), while Moltyn, Kandy and Gia rap their verses. To put it kindly, Moltyn and Kandy are a little more natural at rapping than Gia. Later on, the team prepares their group choreography with Jamal. Unlike Team Jazell, nobody takes an immediate lead on the choreo, leaving Olivia to step up to make suggestions. Team leader Gia seems a little flustered by the whole thing, which Kandy, as her brutally honest friend, decides to call her out on. Afterwards, Veronica takes Kandy to one side to tell her she agrees with her decision, and thinks the team could have used a stronger leader than Gia (Veronica herself struggles to pick up the steps, as Jamal notices several times, so she could just be shifting the blame). Moltyn, meanwhile, says she's sitting back and enjoying the drama, although secretly hopes the infighting and indecision doesn't sink her group - after all, she got negative critiques last week, so will have to work extra hard to impress the judges.
Mirror Chat
As they do their makeup in preparation for their halftime show performances, the queens discuss their histories playing sport. Tina for one talks about being an athlete in her younger days, and explains how she has learned to accept her less-than-feminine build out of drag and become the self-proclaimed "linebacker in a pantsuit" that she is. Miss Toto, who is a competitive bodybuilder out of drag, says she fell in love with fitness while working at a gym to earn money to do drag. Bodybuilding, she thinks, is "drag for straight people", as both are entirely performative ways of self-expression. Building off of this, Veronica talks about her finding drag at a young age as a way to escape expectations of masculinity and conformity, and says an unexpected perk of doing drag in this day and age is queer kids seeing drag queens as role models.
Of course, you could read all of the above in a Judith Butler book, and what you're really here for is some good old fashioned drama. Well, you're in luck, as Kandy decides to live up to her messy queen title by confronting Gia once again about her poor leadership. Kandy also finds it rather interesting that certain queens who had agreed with her in private earlier (cough Veronica cough) aren't backing her up in front of the group now. Perhaps the werk room isn't big enough for the thirteen of them.
Performances
Ru welcomes us to the RuPer Bowl Halftime Show with the promise that no, Shakira will not be yodelling at any point during this one. Team Jazell performs their song 'Too Hot to Touchdown' first, followed by Team Gia, performing 'N.F.L. (Nasty Freaky Ladies)', with each group lip syncing to their earlier-recorded vocals. I assume there's some American football being played by the Pit Crew either side of these performances, but this never gets mentioned in any way, shape or form.
Runway
This week's runway category is Make Your Statement, i.e. sloganwear and other such outfits that incorporate writing (like Jan Sport's black wedding look), inspired by Viktor & Rolf. See below for a moodboard:
https://i.imgur.com/qwYjsfn.png
Judging
Having watched both groups perform, Ru declares Team Too Hot to Touchdown (6, Denali, Jasmine, Jazell, Kornbread, Neon and Toto) to be the winners of the challenge. Of these, Denali, Neon and Toto are particularly singled out for praise, with the judges loving Denali's precision, Toto's showstopping energy and Neon's slick bars and unique stage presence. With the approval of Lil' Kim herself, Neon is declared the winner of this week's challenge, and bags a $5,000 tip for her good work. The rest of the team are declared safe and are free to leave the stage.
Safe: 6, Jasmine Rice LaBeija, Jazell Barbie Royale & Kornbread Jeté
Safe (High): Denali & Miss Toto
Winner: Neon Calypso
This leaves Gia, Kandy, Olivia, Moltyn, Tina and Veronica up for elimination this week. In terms of positives, all of the judges agree that Olivia was the standout of Team Nasty Freaky Ladies, and that she could have won the entire challenge had she been on the other team. Otherwise, they're also in agreement that Gia's team was on the whole less cohesive and seemingly less prepared than Jazell's; Gia is criticised (by both the judges and Kandy, who still believes she is being constructive in her feedback) for her poor organisational skills as team leader, Kandy is praised for her enthusiasm but Michelle says she couldn't understand most of her lyrics due to her muddled enunciation, Tina is told by both Carson and Lil' Kim that she faded into the background during the performance (possibly due to nerves), Moltyn is called out for messing up the choreography multiple times, and Veronica is criticised for her lacklustre dancing and performance skills.
Ru declares Olivia safe, followed by Kandy, Tina and finally Gia, therefore leaving Moltyn and Veronica as the two queens who must lip sync for their lives tonight.
Safe: Olivia Lux
Safe: Kandy Muse
Safe (Low): Tina Burner
Safe (Low): Gia Metric
Bottom Two: Moltyn Decadence & Veronica Taylor-Mykels
In a confessional, Moltyn admits that she got too wrapped up in other queens' drama that she forgot to focus on herself, hence her multiple slip-ups in the performance. Now, she says, is her chance to correct that in the lip sync. Veronica, meanwhile, says she would be devastated to come all the way from Denver only to go home first, and that she's going to do all she can to convince Ru to keep her.
...so the RuDio Times was not your finest hour, MB...:laugh:...there is always more from you my love, you’re the gift that gives and gives and gives gloriously for our pleasure...:love:...
...i just have to go out somewhere, I’ll perch the Ruper Bowl in a bit...
Lip Sync for Your Life
Moltyn Decadence
vs.
Veronica Taylor-Mykels
https://i.imgur.com/uL1vAdC.png https://i.imgur.com/YQW9ysR.png
to
The Jump Off
(Lil' Kim)
cF9M5EMDl04
(insert gif of Nina Bo'nina Brown saying "oh my god, it's the first lip sync [for your life, at least]" here)
Moltyn looks right at home with the song, having lots of fun and lip syncing the words to the judges as if she were Lil' Kim herself. Veronica, meanwhile, is... well, a white gay man doing a Lil' Kim number. To say it's a mercy kill would be to put it kindly, but hey, at least Veronica is dignified to remain on the stage for the duration of the song as Moltyn runs rings around her.
"Moltyn Decadence... shantay you stay."
Moltyn seems incredibly relieved, and promises Ru that she won't take her eye off the ball in a challenge again. Ru tells Veronica that while she may be creepy, kooky and mysteriously spooky, she'll always be a member of the Charles family, before asking her to sashay away. Veronica then bids her fellow queens adieu with the vow that she'll be a Nasty Freaky Lady for life, and heads on back to Denver (presumably to face the wrath of Yvie Oddly).
...so the RuDio Times was not your finest hour, MB...:laugh:...there is always more from you my love, you’re the gift that gives and gives and gives gloriously for our pleasure...:love:...
...i just have to go out somewhere, I’ll perch the Ruper Bowl in a bit...
I'll confess that I came up with each challenge based on how easily I could make a pun out of its title, so get ready for the RuDundancy challenge in which all of the queens are laid off and have to go to the Jobcentre
Next time on RuPaul's Drag Race...
Episode 4: Death by Rice
In this Knives Out-style murder mystery improv challenge, all of the queens become suspects after former judge Santino Rice is found dead at Tuckingham Manor. It’s such a twisted Ru-dunnit that I wouldn’t even rule out the extra special guest judges, legendary scream queen Jamie Lee Curtis and Saturday Night Live star Bowen Yang...
...awwww, the lovely Kornbread not being chosen...:sad:...that’s always such a sad moment when a queen has to watch others being chosen while she isn’t, I hate that...I’m so happy that Team Too Hot to Touchdown won and I feel that kornbread’s contribution to that was so valuable...:flutter:...that runway, Make Your Statement was just made for Neon, that was Her runway...:love:..
...well done Moltyn Decadence...Veronica...:sad:..
...oh I love a RuDunnit, I love to see their acting challenges and I love Jamie Lee Curtis...:love:..
...I’m enjoying reading the mirror chat...Miss Toto is actually a bodybuilder..was Tina an athlete..?..I can’t see any articles atm...
Shaun
25-07-2020, 01:04 PM
outstanding :love:
...I’m enjoying reading the mirror chat...Miss Toto is actually a bodybuilder..was Tina an athlete..?..I can’t see any articles atm...
I try and get everything from actual interviews to accurately flesh out their personalities/backstories a bit (hence the weird but true stuff (https://www.huffpost.com/entry/why-miss-toto-says-bodybuilding-is-drag-for-straight-people_n_5c8ff7ade4b04ed2c1ad5a8c) about Toto being a bodybuilder!) - with Tina, I remember reading something on Reddit about her being an athlete that I added to my notes, but I can't seem to find it now so I decided to be as vague as possible instead :laugh: (although everything about her being a linebacker in a pantsuit, a catchphrase she'd probably wear out after the first episode in real life, is true (https://metrosource.com/legendary-queen-winner/), so I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility that she would have been a football player in school or some such)
outstanding :love:
Much appreciated as ever :love:
I try and get everything from actual interviews to accurately flesh out their personalities/backstories a bit (hence the weird but true stuff (https://www.huffpost.com/entry/why-miss-toto-says-bodybuilding-is-drag-for-straight-people_n_5c8ff7ade4b04ed2c1ad5a8c) about Toto being a bodybuilder!) - with Tina, I remember reading something on Reddit about her being an athlete that I added to my notes, but I can't seem to find it now so I decided to be as vague as possible instead :laugh: (although everything about her being a linebacker in a pantsuit, a catchphrase she'd probably wear out after the first episode in real life, is true (https://metrosource.com/legendary-queen-winner/), so I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility that she would have been a football player in school or some such)
....there is a Tina Burner Ping Pong Table..(..I swear to the Lord...)...and Ping pong is an Olympic sport so I think we can safely say....
Braden
25-07-2020, 01:23 PM
I'm here for Kandy getting DQ'd for punching another queen in the jaw. Just for the drama :love:
....there is a Tina Burner Ping Pong Table..(..I swear to the Lord...)...and Ping pong is an Olympic sport so I think we can safely say....
Luckily for her I'm switching the elimination format to Ping Pong for Your Life from next week onwards
Braden
25-07-2020, 01:23 PM
I don't encourage violence but just a little bit for these fab fan-fiction things.
I'm here for Kandy getting DQ'd for punching another queen in the jaw. Just for the drama :love:
I wasn't even planning on making her into an antagonist-of-sorts this episode, but every time I googled Kandy her name seemed to be followed by the word "drama" so... hey, if the stiletto fits!
(and really, I can't imagine that scenario would be much more degrading than being solely remembered for dressing up in a broccoli costume)
...that Broccoli costume is so iconic...:lovedup:...
MIjvF9ZWKLE
which reminds me that Kandy has officially lasted at least one episode longer than her drag sister Dahlia :love: (or she would have done if Dahlia hadn't made a cameo in literally every other episode that season, presumably because she was living on the studio lot)
Just because I'm a sucker for visually-appealing Excel charts and probably won't be able to post this in alphabetical order for much longer:
https://i.imgur.com/Sfv0pbg.png
(white safe means they didn't receive feedback, yellow-y safe means they did. Don't ask me why, I just copied it all from Wikipedia)
Before we begin the next episode:
CDFjE3PpHcA
CDFjPFBJHst
:love:
https://i.imgur.com/VrFXCY8.png
After Veronica's Elimination
The queens return to the werk room following Veronica's elimination, and wipe her goodbye message from the mirror. Moltyn says that winning a Lil' Kim lip sync in front of Lil' Kim has lit a fire under her, and that she’s determined to avoid the bottom this week. After placing low in the previous challenge, meanwhile, Tina says that the harsh reality that someone will be going home each week has given all of the queens (herself included) the wake-up call they need to up their games. It's time, she says, to start separating the wheat from the chaff.
Mini Challenge
For this week's mini challenge, The Essence of Booty, Ru randomly divides the queens into pairs; season twelve winner Jaida Essence Hall then stops by and leads the pairs in a search for pirate treasure hidden somewhere in the werk room. The queens turn the room upside down in order to try and hunt this treasure down (no doubt the poor Pit Crew will have to clear up the mess), but it's the pairing of Jasmine and Kandy who find the treasure chest first.
Inside the chest is a list of roles for this week's challenge, an improvised murder mystery called Death by Rice. As the winners of the mini challenge, Jasmine and Kandy get to assign these roles. Kandy picks her own role with confidence, saying that she has an improv background from her school days. Jasmine, meanwhile, pairs herself up with Tina, as she thinks having someone like her to bounce off of will put her on the path to winning her first challenge. While they agree to assign the majority of the other queens roles that play to their strengths, Kandy says she wants to see how Gia copes with a potentially smaller role, after seeing how she crumbled under pressure as team leader last week.
Main Challenge
As decided by Jasmine and Kandy, the full list of roles for the maxi challenge is as follows:
Detectives
Head Detective Noelle Noir, the southern detective hired anonymously to lead the investigation into Santino Rice's murder - Moltyn Decadence
Detective Jessica Felcher, the deputy assisting with the case - Jazell Barbie Royale
Suspects
Lady Tuckingham, the family matriarch with a shocking alibi - Jasmine Rice LaBeija
Grandma Tuckingham, the crazy old woman who owns the manor - Tina Burner
Donna, Santino's bitter estranged lover - Olivia Lux
Toni, the self-absorbed heiress hoping to bag a windfall - Kandy Muse
Chrissy, the mysterious black sheep of the family - 6
Barfa, Santino's nurse who has a penchant for puking - Denali
Windexa, the maid who discovered one of Santino's darkest secrets - Miss Toto
Flora, the groundskeeper who heard a suspicious noise while gardening - Neon Calypso
Ginger, the cook accused of poisoning Santino - Kornbread Jeté
Honey, the kitchenhand who conveniently disappeared following the murder - Gia Metric
Roles assigned, the queens film their improv scenes, joined by Ross Mathews as Moltyn and Jazell's co-detective. After the first scene, in which the detectives discover Santino's dead body (played skillfully by a shop window mannequin, as the actual Santino refused to have anything to do with this), they get to work grilling the first suspects, grieving matriarchs Jasmine and Tina. As it turns out, Jasmine's decision to pair herself with a queen she has established chemistry with works wonders, as she and Tina steal the scene with their histrionics and eccentric character quirks.
Next up, the detectives interview the threesome of 6, Kandy and Olivia; although Kandy was confident in her improv abilities going into the challenge, she doesn't seem to have prepared more than one joke for her role as the heiress Toni, while 6 comes off as timid in her role as the mysterious Chrissy. It's therefore Olivia, as Santino's bitter ex Donna, who carries the scene, using her theatre experience to improvise some funny moments with Ross, Moltyn and Jazell.
The detectives then line up the house staff (Denali, Gia, Kornbread, Neon and Toto) for questioning. With so many queens in one scene, stealing the spotlight isn't easy, but it's poison-wielding cook Kornbread who best rises to the occasion. While Denali, Neon and Toto (last week's top three, it should be noted) do a fine job also as Santino's nurse, maid and groundskeeper respectively, Gia barely gets a word in edgeways as the shy kitchenhand, especially compared to Kornbread's larger-than-life character. In the final scene, detectives Ross, Moltyn and Jazell gather all the suspects in the grand hall of Tuckingham Manor, where Ross reveals that Santino's killer was none other than…
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/a6/72/25/a6722536ca91d6308014ef3903d666eb.gif
As Moltyn and Jazell walk the killer out of the room (backwards) in handcuffs, Tina gets in one last joke as Grandma Tuckingham by comically feigning an over-the-top heart attack at the shock. Yay improv!
Mirror Chat
Back in the werk room the next day, the queens go over how they think they all did in the improv challenge. Kandy still seems confident about her contributions to her scene, confidence which is only exacerbated by Gia mentioning that she thinks she did poorly. Jazell tells Jasmine and Tina that even though she was supposed to be playing the serious detective, she couldn’t help but break character and laugh at their improv shenanigans. This compliment prompts Tina to discuss her status as the current reigning National Comedy Queen. In a confessional, Jasmine says that while she loves Tina like any sister would, she does have a tendency to brag just a wee bit.
When Denali mentions that she loved the murder mystery movie Clue as a kid, the queens get into the always light and cheery topic of childhoods. 6 talks in frank detail about her own childhood growing up in foster care; by the time she ran away from home, she says, she had lived in twenty seven different foster care homes. After this, she struggled with addiction and homelessness, living on Skid Row for three years, and by the age of fifteen she was working in gay bars. She says she feels the struggles she’s been through in life have made her a stronger performer and indeed person today, and that most importantly of all she’s in a place in her life where she’s happy.
Runway
This week's runway category is Absolutely Androgynous (outfits that combine the masculine and the feminine to create a look that's neither). As ever, I've supplied a moodboard below, and coincidentally this one features one of David Bowie's fabulously androgynous outfits made by the late Kansai Yamamoto (RIP):
https://i.imgur.com/n54d1QK.png
Judging
Based on their performances in the challenge and their runway presentations, Denali, Jazell, Moltyn, Neon and Toto are declared safe, leaving the remaining six as the tops and bottoms of the week. Before the safe queens leave the stage, Ross gives Moltyn and Jazell a shoutout for their great work as his scene partners in the challenge.
The judges then critique the top and bottom queens. 6 is praised for her Ziggy Stardust-inspired jumpsuit on the runway, but in the challenge Michelle felt she lacked a sense of fun and ended up fading into the background. Gia is also praised for her Klaus Nomi-esque androgynous look, but is criticised by Ross for being too "in her head" and allowing herself to be swallowed up in the challenge by her scene partner Kornbread. Speaking of the devil, the judges loved Kornbread's performance as she managed to make a minor role extremely memorable, even if her runway look (literally, she's dressed as the Devil, Crystal Methyd is shook) is a tad sloppy.
Olivia is given praise both for her quick wit and charisma in her scene and for stepping outside of her "pretty" box on the runway, while Kandy, who confidently chose her own role, receives criticism from the judges for her one-note performance and allowing other queens to overshadow her. Michelle does really like her club kid look on the runway, but isn't sure this is enough to keep her out of the bottom. Speaking of scene stealers, Jasmine and Tina - aka Lady and Grandma Tuckingham - are called "a comedy double act of ingenious proportions" by guest judge #1 Jamie Lee Curtis, while guest judge #2 Bowen Yang (of SNL fame) says that Jasmine's effortless use of improv techniques made her seem like a professional improv actress. The judges agree across the board that both Jasmine and Tina are forces to be reckoned with in the competition, and Ru declares them both the winners of the challenge. If you're into reading facial expressions, Tina looks a smidgen happier about this joint win than Jasmine does.
Kornbread and Olivia are also congratulated on their strong performances and declared safe, leaving 6, Gia and Kandy left on stage. Eventually, Ru declares Gia safe, leaving 6 and Kandy as the bottom two.
Safe: Denali, Jazell Barbie Royale, Moltyn Decadence, Neon Calypso & Miss Toto
Winners: Jasmine Rice LaBeija & Tina Burner
Safe (High): Kornbread Jeté
Safe (High): Olivia Lux
Safe (Low): Gia Metric
Bottom Two: 6 & Kandy Muse
Kandy says in a confessional that she was so confident throughout the challenge that being in the bottom feels like the wind being knocked out of her sails. 6 says that she refuses to fade into the background in the lip sync like she did in the challenge, and that while she loves Kandy, she has no qualms about sending her home if she must.
Lip Sync for Your Life
6
vs.
Kandy Muse
https://i.imgur.com/PK7h2fL.png https://i.imgur.com/Q8Oskt7.png
to
We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off
(Jermaine Stewart)
HWZisnZ-RGE
The lip sync isn't as much of a runaway victory as last week's, seeing as both 6 and Kandy are able to adapt their respective lip syncing styles to the song with relative ease. However, Kandy seems to lose some steam halfway through the performance, while 6's lip syncing remains consistently tight, controlled, sensual and confident throughout. There's no doubt that 6 is a true pro at this game.
"6.... shantay you stay."
Ziggy Stard-I mean 6 thanks the judges, before hugging Kandy and leaving the stage. Kandy seems upset, but is able to pull it together for her parting words. Ru tells her that while her time on the show may have been short and sweet, she'll always be her Kandy, darling. With this, Kandy departs, and unlike her drag sister Dahlia, she actually gives a goodbye message as she does so. It's a step in the right direction, at least.
I think you'll all agree I'm really Excel-ing at this
https://i.imgur.com/Ymx0RCM.png
Shaun
28-07-2020, 03:12 AM
poor Kandy </3
I imagine she'll last around 4 or 5 episodes in the real thing, so this isn't that devastating I suppose.
Santino refusing to take part at all :love: presumably getting to the bottom of Ru's fracking empire (or, even worse, sabotaging it to bring about the apocalypse)
1268360556907393024
Before we begin the next episode:
CDFjE3PpHcA
CDFjPFBJHst
:love:
...I didn’t know of her, the only drag I’ve followed is some of drag race...she had a beautiful smile and such a warm face...:love:...such gorgeous photos and a thoughtful tribute, MB..:love:...
...I’m sure that Shaun might have done death by rice in ICB so there might be copyright issues/court case scandal there...
....6 :love:...she’s overcome so much through her childhood to become her glorious self she is today....
....awww, sad to see Kandy go, but I’m so glad that 6 stayed...I can’t believe you tributed Kansai Yamamoto who designed so many Ziggy and Aladdin iconic looks...I saw some at the V&A museum a few years ago, it was like being in the presence of Gods, emotional...and really quite exquisite and detailed...:love:...
...I needed your Excel-ent skills when I was doing ML...bRutiful and FabRulous....:lovedup:...
....awww, sad to see Kandy go, but I’m so glad that 6 stayed...I can’t believe you tributed Kansai Yamamoto who designed so many Ziggy and Aladdin iconic looks...I saw some at the V&A museum a few years ago, it was like being in the presence of Gods, emotional...and really quite exquisite and detailed...:love:...
If you aren't hired as the fashion consultant on the next series of Drag Race then it'll be their loss
and speaking of fashion! Next time:
Episode 5: The Draguation Ball
In this graduation-themed ball challenge, the queens of Drag University (famously a rough spot) must channel their inner Elle Woods and serve sickening scholarly looks in three different categories. Acclaimed R&B duo Chloe x Halle join in the fun as the newest guest judges on campus.
The ball episode is coming up shortly, and you can tell this entire thing is unrealistic, because in this universe the show can afford the rights to a Beyoncé song for the lip sync
https://i.imgur.com/CrI3JiG.png
After Kandy's Elimination
The queens return to the werk room. 6, who just survived the lip sync, wipes Kandy's lipstick message from the mirror, saying that she has mixed emotions but is glad to have been given a second chance by Ru. The queens agree with Neon's comment that it's a shame Kandy didn't get to show off more of her many talents, but hey, at least she has her 50,000-or-so Instagram followers to fall back on. The queens then hold a minute's silence in tribute to meme queen Kandy... or rather, they sit awkwardly in silence while staring off into space (https://i.imgur.com/9kYMVrh.jpg) for a minute.
After their minute's silence is complete, the queens congratulate Jasmine and Tina on their joint win in the improv challenge. Jasmine admits in a confessional that while she’s of course grateful to have the judges appreciate her, she’s slightly annoyed about the double win, as she wanted this to be her chance to step out into the spotlight and win a challenge on her own. From now on, she says, she won't let any queen stand in her way, even if it is her best friend.
Mini Challenge
For the next day's mini challenge, Milan Fashion Week, the queens turn the werk room into a catwalk and put on an impromptu quick drag fashion show, all while being chased by season 4 contestant Milan. Jazell and Tina successfully manage to avoid being caught by Milan's fishing net and win the mini challenge. Their prize? A year's supply of not being trapped in Milan's fishing net. It's the very definition of money-can't-buy.
Main Challenge
For this week's maxi challenge, Ru tells the queens that they'll be throwing it back to their college days with a graduation-themed fashion ball. In it, they'll need to serve three different looks in the following categories:
1) Bookworm Realness
2) Sorority Sister from Another Mister
3) Valedictorian Eleganza Extravaganza
For this third category, the queens receive various materials, ranging from the conventional (graduation caps and gowns) to the not-so conventional (degree scrolls, bouquets of flowers, confetti) from which to create a sickening graduation outfit.
The Pit Crew, dressed in nothing but mortarboards and Andrew Christian underwear, bring in trolleys full of the above materials for the queens to rifle through. An unholy scuffle ensues, in which Denali and Kornbread wrestle for the same piece of black fabric and Olivia and Toto agree to cut a bouquet of flowers in half, King Solomon-style.
With materials bagged, the queens draw up initial designs for their Valedictorian Eleganza Extravaganza looks; Neon's two-in-one look that transitions from valedictorian to club kid is an outside of the box take on the theme, while Jazell aims for something more traditional, sleek and elegant, hoping to impress the judges with its simplicity. Moltyn takes a similar route, but her mini dress concept focuses mostly on the simplicity bit. The eleven queens then take to their sewing machines and get to work constructing their outfits. Olivia and Tina, each with sewing experience beneath their belt, get going with ease, while Kornbread takes one unsure look at her machine and instead races for the hot glue gun.
Jasmine, determined to one-up Tina this week, gets very ambitious with the materials she's hoping to use, but has to take a step back when she realises her planned design won't work in the allotted time. She glances over at Tina, who is has already sewed half of her outfit, and begins to panic. Gia, who won her first challenge but has received negative critiques from the judges the past two challenges, says she feels a mountain of pressure to deliver. Therefore, she's decided to take a risk, and plans to construct a dark, funereal look out of paper and painted flowers. She worries that the judges will think it veers too far from the graduation theme, but knows either way that if she doesn't impress them, it could be a case of third strike and you're out.
Mirror Chat
The queens take five minutes out of constructing their outfits to discuss their college experiences, and their experiences with education more generally. Neon mentions that the first drag show she ever saw was in 2012 while she was at college; Moltyn then one-ups her by saying that the first time she ever did drag was at a college rag show as a closeted student in 2004. In a confessional, Moltyn goes into more detail about the link between her education and her drag origins, and says that she has aimed to ensure young people in her local area get the chance to experience drag like she did all those years ago; she regularly performs at the University of Kansas's annual Brown Bag Drag event, a free, university-funded drag show that she says gives all kinds of students access to drag, many of them for the first time.
Elsewhere, Miss Toto discusses how she moved from her home state of Maryland to Miami, where she would begin her drag career, for college (she reveals to the other queens for the first time that she has a master's degree in marine science, prompting them all to sing an impromptu verse of Baby Shark), while Gia surprises the queens further by revealing that she was a volleyball champion in high school (which would have been a useful thing for me to have found out in time for the sports-themed challenge in episode three, huh). In drag, she says, she has been able to replicate that sense of team camaraderie with her drag girl group Bratpack, which has helped her to rise to the top of the Vancouver drag scene.
Runway
We waste no time in getting to the runway this week, as there are a whopping 33 looks to get through. Here are some moodboards for the three categories (and bear in mind that since the Valedictorian Eleganza Extravaganza looks are supposed to made from scratch, I don't really have anything to reference photographically, so instead I just made a collage of some Drag Race-themed mortarboards):
Bookworm Realness:
https://i.imgur.com/c7Yfg7O.png
Sorority Sister from Another Mister:
https://i.imgur.com/d3uUc1F.png
Valedictorian Eleganza Extravanganza:
https://i.imgur.com/QO38yGh.png
Judging
After seeing the queens present their 33 runway looks, including their Valedictorian Eleganza Extravaganza looks, the judges declare 6, Denali, Olivia, Tina and Toto safe. The remaining six queens, Gia, Jasmine, Jazell, Kornbread, Moltyn, Neon are announced as the tops and bottoms of the week. As safe queen Tina leaves the stage, Jasmine tries to keep her composure.
Gia, Neon and Jazell are all praised for their construction skills and creativity. For Gia, the judges love her Moschino-inspired pink sorority look and think her risky funereal valedictorian look is a massive hit; Michelle likens it to something out of a Tim Burton movie. The judges are also big fans of Neon's conceptual bookworm look, which incorporates actual books into the look, including one as a headpiece. Her valedictorian look, meanwhile, goes down a storm with guest judges Chloe x Halle, as it transforms from a demure graduation outfit to a club-kid-at-the-graduation-afterparty look with very little effort. Jazell, whose black valedictorian gown is more on the traditional side, receives rave reviews for her attention to detail, such as a corsage made out of paper and jewellery decorated with confetti. While Jazell jokes that it's been a while since she was of graduation age, Carson thinks she looks one of the most beautiful of the night.
The three remaining queens - Jasmine, Kornbread and Moltyn - receive less glowing critiques for their garments. Jasmine is criticised for trying to do too many things at once with her look, with the end result looking cluttered and unfinished. Kornbread's feedback is centered around her obvious use of hot glue to apply random bits of fabric, resulting in her outfit lacking a clear silhouette. The judges acknowledge that Moltyn tried to go for a less-is-more approach, but Michelle thinks her outfit is too basic for a ball challenge and wonders if she has the taste level needed to advance to the next stage of the competition.
Neon and Jazell are announced as safe, meaning that Gia is declared the winner of the challenge and the £5,000 tip that goes along with it. In a confessional, Gia is ecstatic about winning her second challenge, and hopes that she can stay on this upward trajectory for the forseeable future. Jasmine is then declared safe, leaving Kornbread and Moltyn as the bottom two.
Safe: 6, Denali, Miss Toto, Olivia Lux & Tina Burner
Safe (High): Jazell Barbie Royale & Neon Calypso
Winner: Gia Metric
Safe (Low): Jasmine Rice LaBeija
Bottom Two: Kornbread Jeté & Moltyn Decadence
Moltyn says that while this is her second time lip syncing, she won't let that stop her from giving her all to the performance. Kornbread, on the other hand, says that she was never going to be the most fashionable of queens, but what she does know how to do well is give the judges a show they won't forget in a hurry.
Lip Sync for Your Life
Kornbread Jeté
vs.
Moltyn Decadence
https://i.imgur.com/v7dNX46.png https://i.imgur.com/uL1vAdC.png
to
Schoolin' Life
(Beyoncé)
I-2Q7wvAuOY
It's a pretty evenly-matched lip sync, albeit with different approaches from each queen; while Moltyn treats the song as a dance number, Kornbread goes the more fun, comedic route, and incorporates the inevitable shedding of the excess material she hot glued to her outfit into her lip sync performance. Towards the end, Kornbread busts out some of her own dance moves, including a surprise slide into the splits that leaves Carson's mouth agape.
"Kornbread.... shantay you stay."
Kornbread, having torn off half of her outfit and left the runway looking like a florist in the middle of a war zone, graciously thanks Ru and the judges and gives Moltyn a goodbye kiss on the cheek. Ru says tells Moltyn that in leaving tonight, she has graduated the University of Drag Race with flying colours, and is ready to head into the world with her head held high. Moltyn tells Ru that she has been doing drag for the best part of two decades and that she didn't need to attend the University of Drag Race in the first place (just kidding). Instead, Moltyn gives an appropriately graceful pageant exit, and heads back to Kansas City safe in the knowledge that she did sort-of-okay in an improv challenge.
p.s. here's a recently-released video of our guest judges performing with Mayhem Miller, Naomi Smalls and Miss Vanjie for ya nerves:
1289005995411345408
...Kornbread Jete leaving Carson stunned with her bend and snap...?....
...I’m sad to see Moltyn Decadence go...but if it was destined to be Moltyn V Kornbread....Then bye, honey...Kornbread don’t need backups, she’s going to Harvard, baby....
p.s. here's a recently-released video of our guest judges performing with Mayhem Miller, Naomi Smalls and Miss Vanjie for ya nerves:
1289005995411345408
...Queen overload complete...:lovedup:...
...Kornbread Jete leaving Carson stunned with her bend and snap...?....
...I’m sad to see Moltyn Decadence go...but if it was destined to be Moltyn V Kornbread....Then bye, honey...Kornbread don’t need backups, she’s going to Harvard, baby....
Thanks for reading as ever, Ammi, and by reading I of course also mean "pitching the plot of a Legally Blonde remake starring a drag queen called Kornbread instead of Reese Witherspoon" (it's bound to be a box office smash) :love:
Next time:
Episode 6: Snatchily Feud
The queens show off their best celebrity impersonations in this Snatch Game variant, which this year takes the format of Family Feud (or Family Fortunes, for us cultured Brits). Comedian Niecy Nash and available Broadway actor Larry Owens snatch their spots on the judging panel.
Shaun
31-07-2020, 06:52 PM
wow I can't believe Denali's graduation cap had ACAB studded in swarovski crystals :love:
...I love the Snatch Games..:love:...and Family Feuds is a great theme...maybe one of our ladies will sparkle that Markle ...Meghan V the world...
Just looked at the rumours for Season 13 and omg :love:
Lady Red finally getting the call :fc:That aged well.
https://i.imgur.com/Dt2Rz50.png
After Moltyn's Elimination
The queens return to the werk room following Moltyn's departure, having taken a week and a half off after the studio was hit by a small, fracking-related earthquake. Lip sync survivor Kornbread prays for another acting challenge (or five), while challenge winner Gia is hopeful that the producers break convention by giving the queens nothing but fashion challenges until the end of the competition. As the halfway point approaches, the queens take stock of their track records - Gia leads the pack with two wins, while Jazell, Neon, Jasmine and Tina have one each. Tina smugly warns the queens who aren't on that list (6, Denali, Kornbread, Olivia and Toto) that if they don't step their games up pronto, they'll be following Moltyn right out the door. And, says Tina, she's fine with that, as it means one less competitor for the crown.
Mini Challenge
For the mini challenge, Yuhua What You Eat, season ten contestant Yuhua Hamasaki stops by to analyse each queen’s bowel patterns. The queen with the cleanest stool wins. By nature of being the skinniest queen, having not eaten solid food for two months, Gia is the winner of the mini challenge. She receives... I don't know, a lifetime supply of cat litter as her prize. Meow.
Main Challenge
Ru announces to the queens that they'll be taking on the iconic Snatch Game, but instead of doing things the usual way, they'll be playing the game Family Feud-style. Neon channels Valentina and asks if this means Steve Harvey will be making an appearance (he will not).
The usual open discussion of everyone's Snatch Game choices commences among the queens; Jazell shows off the gown she's planning to wear as legendary Dynasty actress Diahann Carroll, while Neon chats to Toto about her decision to do rapper of the moment Megan Thee Stallion. Kornbread asks 6 about who she'll be playing, but judging by the many wigs spread out across her work bench, 6 still has some deciding to do.
Later on, Ru pops in to grill the queens/spout some nonsense about riffing, volleying and inner saboteurs. He does not apologise for the earthquake he caused with his fracking. Anyway, as part of this segment we found out the remainder of the queens' picks; Kornbread has chosen to play Ms. Juicy from Little Women: Atlanta, Olivia is taking on the one and only Vanessa Williams, Denali is playing the famously lovely Lea Michele, Gia will do spiritual advisor to Oprah, one-time presidential candidate and all-around nutcase Marianne Williamson (as an extra reward for winning the mini challenge, Gia gets a one-on-one Snatch Game coaching session from the challenge's very first winner, season 2's Tatianna), and Toto is taking a mighty risk by transforming herself into, er, Lord Voldemort. It's safe to say her plans are met with a look of concern from Ru, who can't exactly picture volleying with a fictional half-blood Dark Lord.
Elsewhere, Tina weighs up her two potential choices (businesswoman Barbara Corcoran and Broadway star Elaine Stritch), while Jasmine does the same with her two all-singing characters, Leontyne Price and Shirley Bassey, telling Ru that she hopes whichever one she picks will finally give her the edge over friendly rival Tina. Speaking of Ru, when he visits 6's work bench, she still hasn't chosen her specific character, although she has narrowed her selection down to either Kate Bush or P!nk. She admits that her Snatch Game character is probably going to come down to a last minute decision, and whichever one it is, she hopes it doesn't land her in the bottom.
The Snatch Game then happens (who ever said I'm not excessively verbose?). The queens, in Family Feud/Fortunes style, are split up arbitrarily into two families:
The O'Hara-Davenport-Delexington-Dupree Family
Diahann Carroll (https://i.redd.it/9looq3thpmq31.jpg), as played by Jazell
Lord Voldemort (https://images.ctfassets.net/usf1vwtuqyxm/3KUuVAPZkmmqxo1LIEqaDY/a80b3f58ae8ac5159a8596d951ac5824/voldemort-header.jpg?fm=jpg), as played by Toto
Marianne Williamson (https://static01.nyt.com/newsgraphics/2019/08/01/candidate-pages/b8acdd119789198987cfc8185f49ea0c18a148b0/williamson.jpg), as played by Gia
P!nk (https://mtv.mtvnimages.com/uri/mgid:ao:image:mtv.com:691417?quality=0.8&format=jpg&width=1440&height=810&.jpg), as played by 6
Shirley Bassey (https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4niJOHjDrv8/WsJ-e4mrZWI/AAAAAAAAe20/ZQmAFphn_OggQ3VruHTTrGkmiHCvUIwzQCLcBGAs/s1600/bassey_s_tc88484554.jpg), as played by Jasmine
The Paige-Brooks-Bryant-Matthews-Bo'nina-Brown Family
Barbara Corcoran (https://content.money.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/180517-barbara-corcoran.jpg), as played by Tina
Lea Michele (https://hips.hearstapps.com/sev.h-cdn.co/assets/15/12/1426601853-ffgl-02-lea-single-0367rc-hires2.jpg), as played by Denali
Megan Thee Stallion (https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/images/megan-thee-stallion-attends-the-5th-annual-diamond-ball-news-photo-1594837344.jpg), as played by Neon
Ms. Juicy (https://cropper.watch.aetnd.com/cdn.watch.aetnd.com/sites/5/2016/10/MsJuicy.jpg), as played by Kornbread
Vanessa Williams (https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/proxy/TkeU-oMUQoolGdF18PtJiUAIblDmDgf7HtQDdronrCrD5eufR_zHtY1 CZ7_AQwufFMBnS8enhsvszsSvQUnvRIM2RZVwvGnK8r6rZKdWW LvVHoyZXiAdMbEJFmLXy1-hpA97S9hGv-si1aK8mXOXF0OXY94UFGw), as played by Olivia
As you might expect, Neon throws in a few references to her WAP, Jasmine says "she doesn't have the range" a lot about the queens on the other team, Tina throws dollar bills around like confetti and Toto, er, slut drops on Marianne Williamson while dressed in full Lord Voldemort drag, prosthetics and all. After the game is complete, Ru does his best Steve Harvey impression by announcing that the winner is... Miss Colombia. There's nothing quite like a joke from five years ago to end a challenge on a high, is there?
Mirror Chat
Following the Snatch Game, the queens chat about the reasons behind their choices. Denali says she didn't want her portrayal of Lea Michele to be cruel, but rather in good humour, as she considers herself to be fairly nice as far as drag queens go. Kornbread, however, isn't convinced Denali achieved this vision in her performance (it was just a lot of shouting, she thinks). Toto says her choice of Lord Voldemort was inspired by her love of Harry Potter, and although she was initially conflicted due to JK Rowling’s storied history of transphobia, she decided she would reclaim the character instead (which she did in part by making her Voldemort a messy drunk party animal from Florida, naturally). This in turn prompts the discussion of trans and biological female competitors in Drag Race, which Tina has in the past said she thinks creates an unfair playing field (https://brokeassstuart.com/2018/06/25/nyc-drag-queen-of-the-week-tina-burner/). Jazell says she respects Tina's opinion but kindly reminds her that whether you're trans, cis, or a bio queen, nobody is born with the innate ability to be good at Snatch Game. Except maybe Bianca Del Rio.
Runway
This week's runway category is She Wore Blue Velvet, which I promise is nothing to do with the David Lynch movie. See below for a moodboard in case you forgot what blue velvet looks like:
https://i.imgur.com/Z08BLPS.png
Judging
Based on their performances in the Snatch Game and their velvety runway presentations, Gia, Jasmine, Jazell and Neon are declared safe. This means that 6, Denali, Kornbread, Olivia, Tina and Toto are left nervously waiting as the highs and lows of the week.
6’s impersonation of P!nk is criticised by the judges for lacking humour, with Ru saying it reminded her of Morgan McMichaels' ill-fated Snatch Game all the way back in season two. 6 admits that she probably should have picked Kate Bush instead, but freaked out at the last minute and went for what she thought was the safest option. Denali’s Lea Michele, meanwhile, is criticised for being too over-the-top and relying on the same few jokes. Similarly, Olivia is criticised for not going far enough with her portrayal of Vanessa Williams (Michelle points out that she was basically just reciting things Wilhelmina Slater says on Ugly Betty, which is something anyone with access to Vanessa's IMDB page can do).
On the flip side of the Snatch Game coin, the judges tell Kornbread that she made for a larger-than-life Ms. Juicy, and think that Tina took someone who doesn't usually strike people immediately as funny (Shark Tank's Barbara Corcoran) and turned her into a fully-realised character with more layers than an onion. That said, their favourite Snatch Game character of the week turns out to be Miss Toto’s slutty spring breaker Lord Voldemort; Ru happily admits that Toto proved her wrong, and showed that she has natural wit and sense of creativity that not every queen in the competition possesses. Toto is declared as the winner of the challenge, with Kornbread and Tina being safe for their efforts. 6 is then declared safe, avoiding her second lip sync, leaving Denali and Olivia to lip sync for their lives for the first time each.
Safe: Gia Metric, Jasmine Rice LaBeija, Jazell Barbie Royale, Neon Calypso
Safe (High): Kornbread Jeté & Tina Burner
Winner: Miss Toto
Safe (Low): 6
Bottom Two: Denali & Olivia Lux
Lip Sync for Your Life
Denali
vs.
Olivia Lux
https://i.imgur.com/0lzMODl.png https://i.imgur.com/lXjMXyt.png
to
Get Outta My Way
(Kylie Minogue)
BHGaW8lBlSk
The lip sync is one that would hopefully do Kylie proud; Denali pulls out the dancing diva stunts and tricks that she's made her name on (sans the ice skates), but Olivia is able to connect that bit more with the song, and ultimately manages to get Denali out of her way via the timeless medium of the RuPaul's Drag Race lip sync.
"Olivia.... shantay you stay."
Denali... well, she goes off to film season 13, doesn't she. Olivia unfortunately has to wait for at least one more round to join her. Back in the werk room, Tina Burner twiddles her thumbs, knowing she's missing out on a gig.
..Lord Voldemort as snatched by Toto definitely has shades of Joan Crawford...?...
....oooooo, love the blue velvet runway...that’s tres gorgeous...:lovedup:...
...awwww Denali...:sad:...I’m not sure that Lea Michelle was a wise choice for that queen...but if you’re going to sashay away, let your sashay be a blue velvet one...Denali, a goddess...:lovedup:...
...I loved the mirror chat ...you put great heart into these, MB...:love:...great heart, great style, great runways...great you....:flutter:...
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