Answer me this?

[Alf]

If you push the lift/elevator button more than once, does it make the lift /elevator come quicker?

[Alf]

Which Orange came first? The fruit or the colour?

[thesheriff443]

Which Orange came first? The fruit or the colour?

I’d say the word came first it was just another fruit until it was given a name

[thesheriff443]

If you push the lift/elevator button more than once, does it make the lift /elevator come quicker?

If someone has pushed the button on another floor before you then no

[Alf]

How far up do bald people go when they're washing their face?

[Alf]

If you punch yourself in the face and it hurts, are you weak or are you strong?

[thesheriff443]

How far up do bald people go when they're washing their face?

You would have to ask a bald person not someone like myself with a full head of hair

[thesheriff443]

If you punch yourself in the face and it hurts, are you weak or are you strong?

You are Mentally unbalanced

[Cherie]

How far up do bald people go when they're washing their face?

:joker:

[Alf]

In the word "Scent" which is the silent letter, the S or the C?

[Alf]

What colour is a mirror?

[Alf]

If tomatoes are a fruit, is ketchup considered a smoothie?

[Alf]

Why do noses run but feet smell?

[Kazanne]

How far up do bald people go when they're washing their face?

:joker::joker: Brilliant

[Kazanne]

Love these Alf ,lol

[Alf]

If a word was spelled incorrectly in the dictionary, would anybody realise it?

[Alf]

If revenge is a dish best served cold, and revenge is sweet, does that mean, revenge is ice-cream?

[Alf]

10 questions for you there.

Let us know if anybody gets 10/10 correct answers.

[arista]

Why do noses run but feet smell?

Alf are you going Live on that LBC
Left Winger midday Mystery Hour?


I love it when a Live News Event
buggers up his hour.


That gets him angry.

[Calderyon]

If you punch yourself in the face and it hurts, are you weak or are you strong?

Neither, just stupid for punching yourself.

[Calderyon]

What colour is a mirror?

Whatever is reflected onto it.

[Vicky.]

If you push the lift/elevator button more than once, does it make the lift /elevator come quicker?

No, but if you hold in the button you want after the doors close, it skips all other floors even if someone has pushed for it, and takes you there immediately with no stops. :laugh:

I found out this when on holiday staying in a hotel with like 25 floors or something. Used to take bloody ages to get a lift, as the staff told everyone this...and it appears to work in all lifts, as have tried it elsewhere

[Niamh.]

No, but if you hold in the button you want after the doors close, it skips all other floors even if someone has pushed for it, and takes you there immediately with no stops. :laugh:

I found out this when on holiday staying in a hotel with like 25 floors or something. Used to take bloody ages to get a lift, as the staff told everyone this...and it appears to work in all lifts, as have tried it elsewhere

Oh good tip

[Alf]

Bump

[Alf]

To the next page

[Alf]

Have you ever imagined a World with no hypophetical situations?

[Alf]

What is a free gift? Arne't all gifts free?

[Alf]

If a person with multiple personalities threatens to kill themself, is it considered a hostage situation?

[Alf]

Why isn't there mouse flavoured cat food?

[Kate!]

Haha good morning Alf. Love this thread. X

[Alf]

Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?

[Alf]

Haha good morning Alf. Love this thread. XGood morning Kate.

[Alf]

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

[Alf]

Why do they call it a "Television set" when you only get one?

[Alf]

When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

[Alf]

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

[Alf]

If a fly has no wings, is it called a walk?

[Alf]

Another 10 questions that's really been bothering me. If anybody can help me out with any of these mysteries, it would be much appreciated.

[Alf]

Can you cry under water?

[Alf]

What disease did cured ham actually have?

[Alf]

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then pay for binoculars to look down at the ground?

[Alf]

Why do Doctors leave the room while you change? They're gonna see you naked anyway.

[Alf]

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

[Alf]

If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

[Alf]

If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

[Alf]

Why do dogs get mad when you blow in their face, but if you take them for a car ride, they stick their head out of the window?

[Alf]

Do the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star have the same tune?

[Alf]

Why did you just try singing the songs above?

[thesheriff443]

Can you cry under water?

You definitely can take a p1ss

[thesheriff443]

Why do dogs get mad when you blow in their face, but if you take them for a car ride, they stick their head out of the window?

You probably got bad breath

[thesheriff443]

If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

Too far Alf

[thesheriff443]

What is a free gift? Arne't all gifts free?

Not if they come with a 24 month contract

[thesheriff443]

If a person with multiple personalities threatens to kill themself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Depends who shift it is.

[thesheriff443]

Why isn't there mouse flavoured cat food?

Because they probably taste like chicken

[thesheriff443]

Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?

Because we only own our mouths

[Denver]

If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

Imagine thinking rape is the same as stealing something from the shop

[thesheriff443]

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

A knife to cut it with

[thesheriff443]

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

In case they missed

[thesheriff443]

What disease did cured ham actually have?

It was a pig

[thesheriff443]

Why do Doctors leave the room while you change? They're gonna see you naked anyway.

So they can try to keep a straight face when they come back in the room

[Alf]

Imagine thinking rape is the same as stealing something from the shopWhy would anyone want to imagine that? What a strange request to make. No! I'm sorry, but I won't imagine that, I've got better things to do.