How intense does your dislike for certain people go?

[Redway]

A basic fact of life is that you’re just going to have to cross paths with people you dislike very much from time to time but how strong can the actual feeling of hatred go in your case? Do you try and appreciate the supposed good in everyone or are you really not trying to suffer any fools?

[UserSince2005]

ive not murdered anyone yet

[Crimson Dynamo]

"A basic fact of life is that you’re just going to have to cross paths with people you dislike very much"

nope

[Beso]

4th one down, but there doesnt have to be a good reason.

[Alf]

vyVtkzoswCE

[Kate!]

Someone has to do something REALLY bad for me to purely hate them, there have been a few.

[Redway]

Someone has to do something REALLY bad for me to purely hate them, there have been a few.

Ditto. I like to draw a line under things where I can but there are certain things that I’ll probably never, ever forgive certain people for and I really don’t feel bad about feeling that way. People who continue to disrespect you in the most indefensible ways aren’t automatically entitled to your niceness or forgiveness.

[hijaxers]

Ditto. I like to draw a line under things where I can but there are certain things that I’ll probably never, ever forgive certain people for.

Same , not many but i never wish to see or hear from them ever again.

[Redway]

Same , not many but i never wish to see or hear from them ever again.

Yup. The last people I added to my hate list were from 2021 and nothing’s changed in those two years. I wouldn’t piss on them if they were rotting in hell fire. Definitely don’t want to see any of those idiots again.

[hijaxers]

Yup. The last people I added to my hate list were from 2021 and nothing’s changed in those two years. I wouldn’t piss on them if they were rotting in hell fire. Definitely don’t want to see any of those idiots again.

Yes be true to who you are , some people are so out for themselves and their narrative they'll throw friends or family under the bus.

[Redway]

Yes be true to who you are , some people are so out for themselves and their narrative they'll throw friends or family under the bus.

And they’ll wonder why you keep giving them the cold shoulder every time you are misfortuned to see them, as if they don’t know what they did. It’s better when these things stay low-key though because if it becomes a big talking point you’ll be painted as the bully and the bad guy. They’re rarely capable of telling the full story and the foulness of what they did to and said about you. The people around them who know them (or at least think they do) but don’t know you (or maybe, maybe not, they know you a little bit but never really liked you) will be more inclined to go with their side of the story (because they just don’t know you) but I do believe that karma deals with those people when the time’s right.

[hijaxers]

And they’ll wonder why you keep giving them the cold shoulder every time you are misfortuned to see them, as if they don’t know what they did. It’s better when these things stay low-key though because if it becomes a big talking point you’ll be painted as the bully and the bad guy. They’re rarely capable of telling the full story and the foulness of what they did to and said about you. The people around them who know them (or at least think they do) but don’t know you (or maybe they know you a little bit but never really liked you) will be more inclined to go with their side of the story (because they just don’t know you) but I do believe that karma deals with those people when the time’s right.

Oh yes Karma always gets them eventually :cheer2:

[Redway]

Oh yes Karma always gets them eventually :cheer2:

Hopefully. The battle’s ultimately the Lord’s so sometimes you’ve just got to trust that God will deal with them mercilessly (and I mean mercilessly) when the time comes.

[Kate!]

Hopefully. The battle’s ultimately the Lord’s so sometimes you’ve just got to trust that God will deal with then mercilessly when the time comes.

I told my brother that I hoped God struck him down for what he and my sister in law did, and I meant every word.

[Redway]

I told my brother that I hoped God struck him down for what he and my sister in law did, and I meant every word.

I don’t blame you, Kate. There are probably people out there who think I low-key dislike them for various reasons (I’ll admit I can be quite flakey when it comes to the timing of what I say I’ll do and that can let people down) but I genuinely have nothing but love for those people and I’m always going to hold my hands up and admit if I’m genuinely the one in the wrong (which I can be, just as we all can be). But that’s a completely different situation from actually hating on people who really did you dirty and when that line’s crossed that’s it. Maybe God will take pity on them but as far as my own good books are concerned they’re toast and probably always will be. I’m a very easy-going, friendly sort of person naturally but when it comes to people I genuinely hate I’m never going to pretend that I wish then anything but bad tidings. All it’s within my hands to do is just leave well alone and keep that distance (I leave revenge to God) but I don’t wish people like that well at all.

And listen, I’m really sorry you had such a bad experience with your brother and sister-in-law. It sounds like they were horrendously in the wrong.

[Beso]

Oh yes Karma always gets them eventually :cheer2:

I hope so..

A nemesis of mine from the early 80s was diagnosed throat cancer, he was given 3 months to live...8 bloody months ago.

[Kate!]

I don’t blame you, Kate. There are probably people out there who think I low-key dislike them for various reasons (I’ll admit I can be quite flakey when it comes to the timing of what I say I’ll do and that can let people down) but I genuinely have nothing but love for those people and I’m always going to hold my hands up and admit if I’m genuinely the one in the wrong (which I can be, just as we all can be). But that’s a completely different situation from actually hating on people who really did you dirty and when that line’s crossed that’s it. Maybe God will take pity on them but as far as my own good books are concerned they’re toast and probably always will be. I’m a very easy-going, friendly sort of person naturally but when it comes to people I genuinely hate I’m never going to pretend that I wish then anything but bad tidings. All it’s within my hands to do is just leave well alone and keep that distance (I leave revenge to God) but I don’t wish people like that well at all.

And listen, I’m really sorry you had such a bad experience with your brother and sister-in-law. It sounds like they were horrendously in the wrong.

They really were Sam. They took my mums ashes and scattered them without me and my son. They raided my mums jewellery box and took all her valuables despite the fact that I'd been left those things in her will.

[Redway]

They really were Sam. They took my mums ashes and scattered them without me and my son. They raided my mums jewellery box and took all her valuables despite the fact that I'd been left those things in her will.

I can’t even imagine how tough that must have been for you.

[Oliver_W]

I'm waaay too chill and meditate too much to hold onto hate :joker: I don't give such things the headspace.

[Redway]

I'm waaay too chill and meditate too much to hold onto hate :joker: I don't give such things the headspace.

I’m extremely chill ordinarily but when it comes to having a valid reason to hate someone I’m one of those people who just doesn’t let it go.

[Oliver_W]

I’m extremely chill ordinarily but when it comes to having a valid reason to hate someone I’m one of those people who just doesn’t let it go.

One might be inclined to ask you if you believe that's a productive use of your headspace?

[Redway]

One might be inclined to ask you if you believe that's a productive use of your headspace?

Plenty of other things, no doubt, but when someone crosses the line it’s just another thing that sticks. If you’re the sort of person who just moves on and kicks people like that out of your head completely, more power to you.

[Beso]

One might be inclined to ask you if you believe that's a productive use of your headspace?



Outbursts of irrationsl hatred when exploded into a pillow costs you thousands in la, for an hour long session.

It must help the mind and soul.:shrug:

[Oliver_W]

Plenty of other things, no doubt, but when someone crosses the line it’s just another thing that sticks. If you’re the sort of person who just moves on and kicks people like that out of your head completely, more power to you.
I tend to confront people who I feel have wronged me, but maybe I'm lucky in that I've not been on the receiving end of anything that bad (yet), so it could be argued I've not had to opportunity to really seethe.

[Redway]

I tend to confront people who I feel have wronged me, but maybe I'm lucky in that I've not been on the receiving end of anything that bad (yet), so it could be argued I've not had to opportunity to really seethe.

It might be that. Possibly.

I know there’s a crusty cynicism about me that pops up here-and-there but by-and-large I’m a die-hard lover of humankind (if quite a reserved one) and very easy-going interpersonally for the most-part. It’s not like I take pleasure in hating on people but people like me and Kate kind of have been on the receiving end of things that really were *that* bad and when you get to that point you’re going to be a lot more jaded and bitter against people who really did a number on you. It’s not always that obvious but there comes a point where you lose every last shred of respect and affection you might’ve had for that person and ultimately all these things are experiences that often stick, inasmuch as you’d probably rather forget.

[Beso]

As long as you ain't hurting anyone else, violent outbursts of hatred are as good as an outburst of crying.

Infact they are better cause nobody is gonna slap your face and tell you to pull yourself together.

[Redway]

No, we ain’t hurting nobody. Just drawing the line when enough’s enough.

[Beso]

No, we ain’t hurting nobody. Just drawing the line when enough’s enough.

Do you know the people you hate?

Just asking cause the people I hate the mostly dont have names.

To explain that, and to be open as **** to strangers.(it helps for some strange reason)

When my son died in 2012 at a young age, A website called stupid deaths feautered his death because it made the national papers in scotland

My morbidness made me look, and well..you can imagine the hatred I've felt ever since.


He died taking legal highs, but the papers picked up on it because his twitter feed was him bragging about going out on that fateful night to take them.

[Redway]

Do you know the people you hate?

Just asking cause the people I hate the mostly dont have names.

To explain that, and to be open as **** to strangers.(it helps for some strange reason)

When my son died in 2012 at a young age, A website called stupid deaths feautered his death because it made the national papers in scotland

My morbidness made me look, and well..you can imagine the hatred I've felt ever since.


He died taking legal highs, but the papers picked up on it because his twitter feed was him bragging about going out on that fateful night to take them.

That sounds like such a rough ordeal (involving your son). Is there anything you do to help you when the grief and resentment hits (drinking whiskey doesn’t count, let’s be honest)?

But in my case they have names, yeah. I know exactly who they are.

[Beso]

That sounds like such a rough ordeal (involving your son). Is there anything you do to help you when the grief and resentment hits (drinking whiskey doesn’t count, let’s be honest)?

But in my case they have names, yeah. I know exactly who they are.


Let's just say I cant swing a punch like I used to, so my face isn't as handsome as it once was.

But that was in the past, things are improving now. Om lucky I've never had a very close friend that I've ended up hating, they've all been really cool.

[Redway]

Same , not many but i never wish to see or hear from them ever again.

Are you comfortable talking about what they did?

[Glenn.]

Don’t have time for hatred. If someone pisses me off to the point that I ‘hate’ them I don’t bother with them. No point wasting time on them.

[Redway]

vyVtkzoswCE

I’ve been involved in enough nonsense over the past 16 years to have reached that point but generally I give people a chance. I’m a people-person at heart so I can’t let cynicism from bad past experiences get in the way of maintaining/making connections. But the general public can be annoying.

[Redway]

Let’s talk about Strawberry Shortcake yoghurt and how underrated it is for a minute (on a more positive note).

[Quantum Boy]

I'm one of those weirdos who tends to actually quite like the people I argue with/clash with more :joker:

[Redway]

I'm one of those weirdos who tends to actually quite like the people I argue with/clash with more :joker:

Weirdo indeed.

[Redway]

Let's just say I cant swing a punch like I used to, so my face isn't as handsome as it once was.

But that was in the past, things are improving now. Om lucky I've never had a very close friend that I've ended up hating, they've all been really cool.

I protected two of the people involved/on my hate-list so much in the end but they didn’t deserve a single iota of it. Sometimes I wish I would’ve just left them to the wolves and let them take a good beating. It wasn’t my mess to sort out (it was just one of the many issues with them) and the stress of it all affected my health badly but without me it’s unlikely that one of them would still be alive. I regret that now. He thought it was all fine and that no-one wanted to hurt him but they did. They did. He was just too stupid to take accountability and step up to the truth. You can go off on a reactive tirade and blame everyone but yourself for all your problems and stupid mishaps but it’ll all fall back on you eventually. Some of them might come back with a flimsy apology and “I would not have apologised if I didn’t mean it” but if you were that sorry in the first place you wouldn’t have done it and damaged someone’s year at all. And I’m probably always going to hate them for everything they did.

[Crimson Dynamo]

My father would always pull me up if i used the word hate, he told me you must never hate anyone

[Livia]

If I dislike someone that much, I don't waste any kind of emotion on them, not even hate. They're just dead to me.

[Oliver_W]

I'm one of those weirdos who tends to actually quite like the people I argue with/clash with more :joker:

I can get that.

I like taking a contrary position when people start bleating on about politics, and it's much more engaging when people bite back instead of saying "fair enough" or being wounded that someone thinks differently.

[Redway]

I can get that.

I like taking a contrary position when people start bleating on about politics, and it's much more engaging when people bite back instead of saying "fair enough" or being wounded that someone thinks differently.

Is there a chance pro-trans. politics features in this opposition a little?

[Oliver_W]

Is there a chance pro-trans. politics features in this opposition a little?

Not at all. I wouldn't even know how to pretend to think women's rights are worth being sacrified for trans rights.

[Redway]

Not at all. I wouldn't even know how to pretend to think women's rights are worth being sacrified for trans rights.

I’m not even talking about that. Just the basic rights Independent of anything or anyone else. How about that?

[Oliver_W]

I’m not even talking about that. Just the basic rights Independent of anything or anyone else. How about that?

I've never spoken against their "rights" which don't contradict anyone else's.

[Redway]

I've never spoken against their "rights" which don't contradict anyone else's.

Hmm. If you say so.

[Oliver_W]

Hmm. If you say so.

I do say so, and nothing else I've said contradicts this :)

[Quantum Boy]

Just the basic rights Independent of anything or anyone else. How about that?

I personally don't think there's any such thing in any situation, all human rights and human interactions are a balance of compromises to achieve (hopefully) the best and most sensible outcome. "No m... person... is an island", and all that.

[Redway]

I personally don't think there's any such thing in any situation, all human rights and human interactions are a balance of compromises to achieve (hopefully) the best and most sensible outcome. "No m... person... is an island", and all that.

So what you’re implying is that trans people shouldn’t have the right to transition?

[Oliver_W]

So what you’re implying is that trans people shouldn’t have the right to transition?

https://media.tenor.com/mZpwbjGSt_IAAAAC/cathy-newman-newman.gif

[Redway]

On what planet do cis. women’s rights impede that basic want/need of transitioning or vice-versa?

[Oliver_W]

On what planet do cis. women’s rights impede that basic want/need of transitioning or vice-versa?

That was never my argument, that transwomen in general is an afront to women's rights. But the consequences, i.e. transwomen in women's spaces etc.

[Redway]

That was never my argument, that transwomen in general is an afront to women's rights. But the consequences, i.e. transwomen in women's spaces etc.

Okay, the trans prison/bathroom thing can be problematic (especially the prisons part) but in many ways that’s just symptomatic of the wider problem in society that’s been here since 2018. A 5-year-old girl now can identify as a horse if she wants to and according to some non-existent rights has the “right” to be taken more-or-less seriously, so by that analogy you can see what the problem is when people who are still biologically cis. pop out of the woodworks from nowhere and insist on being the opposite gender. It’s a bit different in the case of people who are actually transitioned (or at least transitioning).

[joeysteele]

I thought it didn't go too too deep with me.
I was more easy going as a teen.
Now that's not the case really.

However my dislike for others is more fuelled by what they do or would have done to others.
So more a dislike of what they stand for more than a dislike personally of the person.

As to people I know, or know of, even casually personally, the only thing that would really ignite intense dislike for anyone in that scenario would be if they questioned my own integrity.
If that is done repeatedly, then those people were they family, friends or other acquaintances would be completely out from me.
I'd not forgive and so in that instance, I'd say my then intense dislike for anyone doing that would run as deep as was possible to do so.

[Redway]

I thought it didn't go too too deep with me.
I was more easy going as a teen.
Now that's not the case really.

However my dislike for others is more fuelled by what they do or would have done to others.
So more a dislike of what they stand for more than a dislike personally of the person.

As to people I know, or know of, even casually personally, the only thing that would really ignite intense dislike for anyone in that scenario would be if they questioned my own integrity.
If that is done repeatedly, then those people were they family, friends or other acquaintances would be completely out from me.
I'd not forgive and so in that instance, I'd say my then intense dislike for anyone doing that would run as deep as was possible to do so.

I know what you mean, Joey. People who deliberately question your integrity, intelligence and capabilities and overall gaslight you time-and-time again deserve a special kind of hate. You don’t always know who you’re talking to in life so you might mistakenly undermine someone and/or have that happen to you but there’s a difference between that (as patronising and insulting as it can feel) and doing it over and over again just for the sake of having someone to gossip about or add to a smear-campaign, kicking someone who’s often already down and making a complete mockery of them. That’s when it inherently verges on unforgivable.

[Redway]

Don’t have time for hatred. If someone pisses me off to the point that I ‘hate’ them I don’t bother with them. No point wasting time on them.

I’ve come to feel that way about one particular flatmate who lived in my then-flat late in 2020. He was awful in many ways but at the end of the day we hardly interacted with each-other in any meaningful capacity and he was already living there rent-free so as time went on I figured that there was no point letting him live in my head free of charge as well, not that I didn’t hate on him low-key for a good-few months. When the time to de-toxify my social media came I just blocked him and his friend who was very-much in close proximity to him (he was okay-ish in his own right but having such close proximity to poison and one or two other things made me decide to block the two of them on everything). It’s a bit different when it comes to people you had a good-few long conversations/interactions with and where there’s at least a little bit of mutual interpersonal knowledge on either side but there’s no point harbouring any more than a passive grudge against people who are more-or-less complete strangers.

[Redway]

Okay, the trans prison/bathroom thing can be problematic (especially the prisons part) but in many ways that’s just symptomatic of the wider problem in society that’s been here since 2018. A 5-year-old girl now can identify as a horse if she wants to and according to some non-existent rights has the “right” to be taken more-or-less seriously, so by that analogy you can see what the problem is when people who are still biologically cis. pop out of the woodworks from nowhere and insist on being the opposite gender. It’s a bit different in the case of people who are actually transitioned (or at least transitioning).

Ditto for sports (going back to this whole shebang). I’m sure Ollie’s got loads to say about this but I don’t see anyone reasonably suggesting that trans women should be allowed to play rugby alongside cis women. Athletics is neither here nor there because it’s not a sport that’s particularly gendered at all. You can either run professionally fast and jump through hoops or you can’t.

[Livia]

I have a lot of time and respect for you Red, but I object really strongly, to bring referred to as a cis woman. I am a woman.... Those who were born men are trans women. I object to becoming a sub-set of the trans ideology.

[Redway]

I have a lot of time and respect for you Red, but I object really strongly, to bring referred to as a cis woman. I am a woman.... Those who were born men are trans women. I object to becoming a sub-set of the trans ideology.

I do appreciate what you’re saying, Liv. The reason you might’ve seen “cis” coming from me at times up until now is because it’s a distinction that it seems more politically correct (in a niche scientific way) to make nowadays, aka between “cis” and “transitioned”, for both genders. It’s probably a term to drop but just to be clear I wasn’t lumping men and women together with trans-men and trans-women.

[Oliver_W]

I do appreciate what you’re saying, Liv. The reason you might’ve seen “cis” coming from me at times up until now is because it’s a distinction that it seems more politically correct (in a niche scientific way) to make nowadays, aka between “cis” and “transitioned”, for both genders. It’s probably a term to drop but just to be clear I wasn’t lumping men and women together with trans-men and trans-women.

Using the word cis is aligning yourself with and acknowledging the validity of the ideology. It's like a lifelong athiest calling themself Kaffir or a heretic or something.

[Redway]

Using the word cis is aligning yourself with and acknowledging the validity of the ideology. It's like a lifelong athiest calling themself Kaffir or a heretic or something.

One thing you’d do well to bear in mind, Ollie, is that not everyone’s riled and passionate about these things on the same level. I understand what Livia was saying but there’s not much need for you to expand on it to the point of likening me to a pseudo-blasphemous supposed fanatical atheist.

[Oliver_W]

One thing you’d do well to bear in mind, Ollie, is that not everyone’s riled and passionate about these things on the same level. I understand what Livia was saying but there’s not much need for you to expand on it to the point of likening me to a pseudo-blasphemous supposed fanatical atheist.

What I meant was, by using terms like Kaffir to describe yourself if you're not, and never have been, muslim, you're still acting like the term has truth.

The word cis is simply not needed, as we know the difference between women and transwomen.

[Redway]

What I meant was, by using terms like Kaffir to describe yourself if you're not, and never have been, muslim, you're still acting like the term has truth.

The word cis is simply not needed, as we know the difference between women and transwomen.

And like I said, Livia’s comment made sense but you’re taking it way too far with your analogies. It’s not even about the cis stuff between the two of us. Where did kaffir come from?

[Oliver_W]

Where did kaffir come from?

I just chose another ideology that uses certain terms for people, where those terms only apply from the perspective of the ideology.

[Redway]

I just chose another ideology that uses certain terms for people, where those terms only apply from the perspective of the ideology.

Oh, Ollie. Inasmuch as I can be with you on your ‘ideologies’ up to a point, you take the whole trans thing way too far sometimes. And you can’t even see it.

[Oliver_W]

Oh, Ollie. Inasmuch as I can be with you on your ‘ideologies’ up to a point, you take the whole trans thing way too far sometimes. And you can’t even see it.

I was largely exaggerating to make sure the point was as clear as possible - using the word "cis" is playing along with a set of ideas. By using that word, you're saying it's okay to treat "woman" like a category instead of a description.

[Redway]

I was largely exaggerating to make sure the point was as clear as possible - using the word "cis" is playing along with a set of ideas. By using that word, you're saying it's okay to treat "woman" like a category instead of a description.

Yeah but going off with all the extreme analogies when the point was already crystal-clear just makes you look bad, man. It really does. I know you’ve got an axe to grind with the trans community (and I’m not disputing that it’s your prerogative) but like I said you just take it too far sometimes.

[Vanessa]

I don't really hate anyone. I tend to avoid the people I don't like.
But there's no one I dislike more than ignorants who comment on people's weight. For me they're the lowest of the low. I would never do that to anyone, no matter they size.

[Redway]

I don't really hate anyone. I tend to avoid the people I don't like.
But there's no one I dislike more than ignorants who comment on people's weight. For me they're the lowest of the low. I would never do that to anyone, no matter they size.

“You’ve put on weight, you know” is something people definitely need to stop doing. It doesn’t always come from a bad place at all but it’s annoying and rude to comment on stuff like that without knowing the circumstances. It could be a side-effect of medication that they already feel self-conscious enough about. Your body’s your body and yours alone, no-one else’s.

[Redway]

No, we ain’t hurting nobody. Just drawing the line when enough’s enough.

Although sometimes the lines can be blurred between you shutting the door on toxic people after one incident too many and it seeming like you just want to keep punishing them, and sometimes the latter’s what you actually want to do and probably would if you had less chill. Life always goes on and you just attend to the gazillion-and-one more important things you have going on in your life but there are some things/wounds you never really get over. Especially when you see the people you hate having fun and having a good life you feel like they don’t deserve.