Romantic or Wrong time?

[Niamh.]

What do you think about this? I'm inclined to agree with the tweeter here, that it was stealing away her graduation moment, wrong time wrong place. What do you think? What if she didn't want to marry him as well? Her graduation day would forever be tainted or even if she really does, it'll always be about the proposal now rather than letting her enjoy that moment for what it was or am I just a killjoy? :laugh: I would personally hate a public proposal like that in general

"https://twitter.com/MrsNickyClark/status/1681589612278435840?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 19, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

[Crimson Dynamo]

incredibly selfish and mind-blowingly inappropriate

[bots]

very inappropriate

[Niamh.]

incredibly selfish and mind-blowingly inappropriate

Yeah I think so too, my own daughter will have her graduation ceremony in November(She's finished already, they're just slow with the actual ceremonies) and she worked so hard for that degree, real blood, sweat and tears, I'd hate if her boyfriend did that, she earned that moment to be totally hers (he would never do that though)

[Oliver_W]

I can kind of see the thinking behind the proposal - the day signifies a whole new start, becoming a graduate and a fiance all at once!

But not at that moment, take her to a celebratory meal or something, the graduation in her moment. Also, don't cheap out! Doing it there and then is free, a nice meal isn't.

[arista]

Wrong Time


Self Publicist

[rusticgal]

I agree with everything you say Niamh....Fortunately it made her day extra special...having said that she could have had two momentous occasions on two different days and each made individually special....and he denied her that.

Its like being born on Christmas Day...:laugh:

[Crimson Dynamo]

there is nothing romantic about being selfish or having no self-awareness

[bots]

he may of course have said to her that he was going to propose and that she should act surprised

[MTVN]

All the waving is a bit self-absorbed as well..

I think 'taking away another's autonomy' is strange wording though, it's kinda the nature of proposals that the person being proposed to doesn't get a say in where/when it happens? (as much as they might hope or expect it to happen at a certain time)

[Niamh.]

he may of course have said to her that he was going to propose and that she should act surprised

Why would you tell someone you were going to publicly propose though? That's basically telling the person that it's for other peoples benefit not yours, that's definitely not romantic :laugh:

[Cherie]

He loved the attention on him, not sure she loved it so much, she didn't exactly embrace him with gusto

[Niamh.]

All the waving is a bit self-absorbed as well..

I think 'taking away another's autonomy' is strange wording though, it's kinda the nature of proposals that the person being proposed to doesn't get a say in where/when it happens? (as much as they might hope or expect it to happen at a certain time)

Yeah that's a bit weird wording but I still don't think he should have chosen a moment that was supposed to be hers and about her hard work to over shadow that by the proposal

[Livia]

Wrong time. I'd have been mortified.

[bots]

Why would you tell someone you were going to publicly propose though? That's basically telling the person that it's for other peoples benefit not yours, that's definitely not romantic :laugh:

i'm just a bit cynical probably :laugh:

[Swan]

The naivety of youth at play here. Im sure he told a few older people who should have been wise enough to explain the implications to him had she said no. Luckily she said yes, but she literally had no choice in front of that many people, and especially the occasion. Imagine if she'd said no, and was generally horrified by the grand gesture?! She's spent all those years to get her graduation, all that hard work (same as him) and like said already, one of the biggest days of their lives could have been ruined forever.

Whoever he told before hand, i hope they explained all this to him. In a dream world and in his head im sure it seemed romantic, but in reality it was a very dangerous risk that could have backfired in an awful way.

[Crimson Dynamo]

Yeah that's a bit weird wording but I still don't think he should have chosen a moment that was supposed to be hers and about her hard work to over shadow that by the proposal

Its a total misunderstanding of what a proposal is. Its not a gotcha moment to garner clout - who can find the most unusual and public space etc.

Its a private personal moment between a man and a woman that is special for them only

look at this twat


x2jBIWCp5AM

[Niamh.]

Its a total misunderstanding of what a proposal is. Its not a gotcha moment to garner clout - who can find the most unusual and public space etc.

Its a private personal moment between a man and a woman that is special for them only

look at this twat


x2jBIWCp5AM

omg :laugh: but yeah I agree, I would have hated a public proposal

[user104658]

I'm against public proposals in general, either in a public space or especially in front of family. It puts a tonne of pressure on the person being asked to say yes.

My SiL's (ex)-partner proposed to her in front of both of their families (we didn't go down south that year, but both of their families otherwise) and also he set it up to be recorded... Of course she said yes.

She left him less than a year later. Behind closed doors he was controlling and emotionally manipulative. He furiously asked why she'd agreed to marry him and she rightly said, on Christmas day, everyone happy, in front of their families, what was she supposed to do?

Tbh I'm not sure I believe in "proposals" in general... A relationship progresses and together you start thinking about getting married, then get engaged. It shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone... If it does then it wasn't time naturally :think:.

If it is going to be "a thing" though I personally think it should be somewhere intimate/private where the person being asked can say no or that they're not ready and have a conversation, without the eyes of a crowd or the expectations and hopes of family making that impossible.

[Swan]

I bet this engagement doesn't make it to the Altar. I reckon she probably felt in the moment she had no choice but to say "yes" or risk being mortified in a very public place.

[user104658]

i'm just a bit cynical probably :laugh:

I don't think you're entirely wrong to be fair Bots, I imagine with many of the very grand public proposals they have actually already gotten engaged in private and discussed the "grand display" for social media :laugh:.

Sometimes the "omg my am so surprise!!" reaction from the proposee is not exactly Oscar worthy.

[user104658]

I bet this engagement doesn't make it to the Altar. I reckon she probably felt in the moment she had no choice but to say "yes" or risk being mortified in a very public place.

Yup this is exactly what happened with sister in law... The guy's 11 year old brother was there and it was Christmas day. She felt there was literally no way she could say no or even "give me time to think about it" in that moment.

[user104658]

FWIW me and my wife just decided we'd like to get married on a night out, then the next morning we picked an engagement ring together on eBay :joker:.

My proposal was the ring arriving in the post an hour before she was due to catch the megabus to England (we were long distance-ish for a while, during University) and me shouting "Oh your ring is here!!!".

Then we phoned family to tell them and when I said to my dad "We've got some news..." he said "Oh gawd are you having a baby?" and I was like "No I'm engaged!".

And then about 3 weeks later I phoned him again like "....... OK so now yes you are going to be a grandpa :hee:".

Life comes at ya fast, kids :joker:

[Niamh.]

FWIW me and my wife just decided we'd like to get married on a night out, then the next morning we picked an engagement ring together on eBay :joker:.

My proposal was the ring arriving in the post an hour before she was due to catch the megabus to England (we were long distance-ish for a while, during University) and me shouting "Oh your ring is here!!!".

Then we phoned family to tell them and when I said to my dad "We've got some news..." he said "Oh gawd are you having a baby?" and I was like "No I'm engaged!".

And then about 3 weeks later I phoned him again like "....... OK so now yes you are going to be a grandpa :hee:".

Life comes at ya fast, kids :joker:

So romantic :laugh:

Gav did a nice proposal in the garden with a stand in ring (which i sill have, a nice silver one) and we picked out the real one in New York (we were going anyway, we didn't just go to get the ring :p ) But we'd talked about getting married loads of times before he actually proposed so we both knew we wanted to

[Zizu]

he may of course have said to her that he was going to propose and that she should act surprised


Yeah or they may have discussed the possibility of marrying at length beforehand


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[Niamh.]

Yeah or they may have discussed the possibility of marrying at length beforehand


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That's still not the point, unless they'd discussed him interrupting her graduation to do it beforehand then i think he shouldn't have done it, he should have let that moment be her moment and done it even later on in the day, like Oliver said over a meal or something like that

[user104658]

Yeah or they may have discussed the possibility of marrying at length beforehand


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Tbf even if that was the case I think her graduation was the wrong place unless pre-discussed... It's a separate life event.

AND even then to be honest... It's not just her life event, hundreds of people are there having their graduation, a bit needlessly self-centred to steal the limelight with something like this.

[Niamh.]

Tbf even if that was the case I think her graduation was the wrong place unless pre-discussed... It's a separate life event.

AND even then to be honest... It's not just her life event, hundreds of people are there having their graduation, a bit needlessly self-centred to steal the limelight with something like this.

Yeah like proposing at someone elses wedding :eyes:

[Redway]

Grossly inappropriate. I’d die of embarrassment if I were in her shoes.

[Crimson Dynamo]

Yeah like proposing at someone elses wedding :eyes:

That would be appalling