[Niamh.]

What do you think about this? I'm inclined to agree with the tweeter here, that it was stealing away her graduation moment, wrong time wrong place. What do you think? What if she didn't want to marry him as well? Her graduation day would forever be tainted or even if she really does, it'll always be about the proposal now rather than letting her enjoy that moment for what it was or am I just a killjoy? I would personally hate a public proposal like that in general

[Crimson Dynamo]

incredibly selfish and mind-blowingly inappropriate

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

incredibly selfish and mind-blowingly inappropriate

Yeah I think so too, my own daughter will have her graduation ceremony in November(She's finished already, they're just slow with the actual ceremonies) and she worked so hard for that degree, real blood, sweat and tears, I'd hate if her boyfriend did that, she earned that moment to be totally hers (he would never do that though)

[bots]

very inappropriate

[Oliver_W]

I can kind of see the thinking behind the proposal - the day signifies a whole new start, becoming a graduate and a fiance all at once!

But not at that moment, take her to a celebratory meal or something, the graduation in her moment. Also, don't cheap out! Doing it there and then is free, a nice meal isn't.

[rusticgal]

I agree with everything you say Niamh....Fortunately it made her day extra special...having said that she could have had two momentous occasions on two different days and each made individually special....and he denied her that.

Its like being born on Christmas Day...

[arista]

Wrong Time


Self Publicist

[Crimson Dynamo]

there is nothing romantic about being selfish or having no self-awareness

[bots]

he may of course have said to her that he was going to propose and that she should act surprised

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by bitontheslide

he may of course have said to her that he was going to propose and that she should act surprised

Why would you tell someone you were going to publicly propose though? That's basically telling the person that it's for other peoples benefit not yours, that's definitely not romantic

[bots]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Why would you tell someone you were going to publicly propose though? That's basically telling the person that it's for other peoples benefit not yours, that's definitely not romantic

i'm just a bit cynical probably

[user104658]

Originally Posted by bitontheslide

i'm just a bit cynical probably

I don't think you're entirely wrong to be fair Bots, I imagine with many of the very grand public proposals they have actually already gotten engaged in private and discussed the "grand display" for social media .

Sometimes the "omg my am so surprise!!" reaction from the proposee is not exactly Oscar worthy.

[Zizu]

Originally Posted by bitontheslide

he may of course have said to her that he was going to propose and that she should act surprised

Yeah or they may have discussed the possibility of marrying at length beforehand


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Zizu

Yeah or they may have discussed the possibility of marrying at length beforehand


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

That's still not the point, unless they'd discussed him interrupting her graduation to do it beforehand then i think he shouldn't have done it, he should have let that moment be her moment and done it even later on in the day, like Oliver said over a meal or something like that

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Zizu

Yeah or they may have discussed the possibility of marrying at length beforehand


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

Tbf even if that was the case I think her graduation was the wrong place unless pre-discussed... It's a separate life event.

AND even then to be honest... It's not just her life event, hundreds of people are there having their graduation, a bit needlessly self-centred to steal the limelight with something like this.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Soldier Boy

Tbf even if that was the case I think her graduation was the wrong place unless pre-discussed... It's a separate life event.

AND even then to be honest... It's not just her life event, hundreds of people are there having their graduation, a bit needlessly self-centred to steal the limelight with something like this.

Yeah like proposing at someone elses wedding

[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Yeah like proposing at someone elses wedding

That would be appalling

[MTVN]

All the waving is a bit self-absorbed as well..

I think 'taking away another's autonomy' is strange wording though, it's kinda the nature of proposals that the person being proposed to doesn't get a say in where/when it happens? (as much as they might hope or expect it to happen at a certain time)

[Cherie]

He loved the attention on him, not sure she loved it so much, she didn't exactly embrace him with gusto

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by MTVN

All the waving is a bit self-absorbed as well..

I think 'taking away another's autonomy' is strange wording though, it's kinda the nature of proposals that the person being proposed to doesn't get a say in where/when it happens? (as much as they might hope or expect it to happen at a certain time)

Yeah that's a bit weird wording but I still don't think he should have chosen a moment that was supposed to be hers and about her hard work to over shadow that by the proposal

[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Yeah that's a bit weird wording but I still don't think he should have chosen a moment that was supposed to be hers and about her hard work to over shadow that by the proposal

Its a total misunderstanding of what a proposal is. Its not a gotcha moment to garner clout - who can find the most unusual and public space etc.

Its a private personal moment between a man and a woman that is special for them only

look at this twat

Youtube video

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

Its a total misunderstanding of what a proposal is. Its not a gotcha moment to garner clout - who can find the most unusual and public space etc.

Its a private personal moment between a man and a woman that is special for them only

look at this twat

Youtube video

omg but yeah I agree, I would have hated a public proposal

[Livia]

Wrong time. I'd have been mortified.

[Swan]

The naivety of youth at play here. Im sure he told a few older people who should have been wise enough to explain the implications to him had she said no. Luckily she said yes, but she literally had no choice in front of that many people, and especially the occasion. Imagine if she'd said no, and was generally horrified by the grand gesture?! She's spent all those years to get her graduation, all that hard work (same as him) and like said already, one of the biggest days of their lives could have been ruined forever.

Whoever he told before hand, i hope they explained all this to him. In a dream world and in his head im sure it seemed romantic, but in reality it was a very dangerous risk that could have backfired in an awful way.

[user104658]

I'm against public proposals in general, either in a public space or especially in front of family. It puts a tonne of pressure on the person being asked to say yes.

My SiL's (ex)-partner proposed to her in front of both of their families (we didn't go down south that year, but both of their families otherwise) and also he set it up to be recorded... Of course she said yes.

She left him less than a year later. Behind closed doors he was controlling and emotionally manipulative. He furiously asked why she'd agreed to marry him and she rightly said, on Christmas day, everyone happy, in front of their families, what was she supposed to do?

Tbh I'm not sure I believe in "proposals" in general... A relationship progresses and together you start thinking about getting married, then get engaged. It shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone... If it does then it wasn't time naturally .

If it is going to be "a thing" though I personally think it should be somewhere intimate/private where the person being asked can say no or that they're not ready and have a conversation, without the eyes of a crowd or the expectations and hopes of family making that impossible.