Anyone have any experience with homeschooling?

[Vicky.]

After a few incidents with the kids I have James living full-time with me now. There's a senior school across the road from me but Gavin is blocking me switching him to there and I can't get him to the school he's currently registered at. So having looked over stuff I think homeschooling is the best plan for us ..but I also don't know where to start! Just wondering if anyone else has done this and how it went..how easy/hard it is...did the child seem happy etc

Am at my wits end with all this **** now tbh. All because Gavin's being awkward..

[thesheriff443]

I’m sorry you going thru this , no experience with home schooling
What valid reason has gav got for him not going to the new school?
Or is just being a twat

[Vicky.]

Because Gavin wants James living with him so is trying to make everything as hard as possible. James wishes to remain with me and he's now at an age where his wishes should really be taken into account...he's apparently being assaulted often by his sister and dad doesn't do anything about it...he stated he doesn't feel 'safe' going back to Gavin's, and no way am I sending him when he's saying things like that, regardless of what trouble I could get into

[Niamh.]

Because Gavin wants James living with him so is trying to make everything as hard as possible. James wishes to remain with me and he's now at an age where his wishes should really be taken into account...he's apparently being assaulted often by his sister and dad doesn't do anything about it...he stated he doesn't feel 'safe' going back to Gavin's, and no way am I sending him when he's saying things like that, regardless of what trouble I could get into

Is it his half sister who is assaulting him or Skye? What age is she/James? If I were you I'd maybe contact social services for advice on both the custody arrangements and how to change his school/start home schooling in this situation

[caprimint]

I don't have any personal experience with it, but my neighbours kids were homeschooled. I didn't really know them very well but they all seem like a decent family and the kids seemed happy, they spent a lot of time together and didn't mix with others as much probably back then, but that can be a personal preference too. Sorry to hear this is happening tho, it sounds really stressful :sad:

[AnnieK]

I have a friend who homeschools her daughter. She is in year 10 and she pulled her out of school last year due to bullying and the local authority couldn't offer her another place locally so she has homeschooled since then.

I've just asked her and she uses lots of online resources and said this is one of the best https://www.thenational.academy/

Her daughter misses the interaction with nice kids but not the bullying and so she makes sure she has lots of social stuff going on too.

[Ammi]

…I guess that the only thoughts that I can give, Vicky …(…not having experience of home-schooling my own children…)…is, having worked in the school environment for many years, we’ve had many children placed in school from home schooling experience and at the other end…?…we’ve had some children been taken out of of the school in favour of changing to home-schooling…(…I think, less taken out of than placed into a school environment…)…but with those who have been taken out and their opting for home-schooling…?…after a relatively short period of time, they’ve been placed with another school as opposed to home schooling continuing…obviously the reasons for that will vary…

…I think that there are lots of positives in home schooling in terms of you knowing James as a parent and being able to taper his education to his wants and needs and strengths etc…and home school children often do perform well academically because of that, that they’re able to have so much time devoted one to one…but obviously there’s the social aspect to consider as well with all of the activities etc that a school may offer…and just a general social environment of them working alongside peers in group situations…you say that you’re not able to get James to his present school, Vicky…?…would someone be able to get him elsewhere easily to take part in activities and for social reasons etc…?.. and even in visiting museums etc in terms of his learning processes…?…I mean, would transport in general be difficult…(…this is all rhetorical btw, just things to consider…)…there’s a lot to consider, I think but it does work for some so it’s just about researching it all and knowing that it feels right for you and James…I’m so sorry that you’re in this position, though and I’m so sorry that James isn’t happy and hasn’t felt safe…it really does have a feel from his father of being very controlling and I can understand how you’re feeling a bit despaired and lost with it all right now…:hug:…


…I was looking for a UK site/forum because I think that talking to other ‘a five’ home-schooling parents atm would really be helpful in giving you some thoughts about the practicalities and what’s involved etc…(…also the education authority and social services should give you guidance as well…)…but it’s good to have actual parents in the same situation/who have been and who home school every day…the first site that came up was the mums et one but I think it must be a specific section so worth looking at…?….

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/home_ed

[Ammi]

…I don’t know if this is any help also, Vicky…

https://www.home-education.org.uk/forums.htm

[Ammi]

I have a friend who homeschools her daughter. She is in year 10 and she pulled her out of school last year due to bullying and the local authority couldn't offer her another place locally so she has homeschooled since then.

I've just asked her and she uses lots of online resources and said this is one of the best https://www.thenational.academy/

Her daughter misses the interaction with nice kids but not the bullying and so she makes sure she has lots of social stuff going on too.

…I think that’s very much the thing, Annie…knowing that a home-school child is not going to have restrictions in terms of travelling to either social or educational/learning activities…

[Vicky.]

Is it his half sister who is assaulting him or Skye? What age is she/James? If I were you I'd maybe contact social services for advice on both the custody arrangements and how to change his school/start home schooling in this situation

Skye. She's 13 now, he's 11. The social have been useless, there was a support worker involved because Skye's refused to go to school for months..the support worker seems to care about nothing but school attendance. Have a meeting with school on Friday so will see how that goes but it's really looking like this is my only option at the min

[Vicky.]

I have a friend who homeschools her daughter. She is in year 10 and she pulled her out of school last year due to bullying and the local authority couldn't offer her another place locally so she has homeschooled since then.

I've just asked her and she uses lots of online resources and said this is one of the best https://www.thenational.academy/

Her daughter misses the interaction with nice kids but not the bullying and so she makes sure she has lots of social stuff going on too.

Thanks, will have a proper look at that later. There does seem to be a lot of homeschooling resources online, probably since COVID. It's a bit.. intimidating though I have to be honest

[Vicky.]

…I guess that the only thoughts that I can give, Vicky …(…not having experience of home-schooling my own children…)…is, having worked in the school environment for many years, we’ve had many children placed in school from home schooling experience and at the other end…?…we’ve had some children been taken out of of the school in favour of changing to home-schooling…(…I think, less taken out of than placed into a school environment…)…but with those who have been taken out and their opting for home-schooling…?…after a relatively short period of time, they’ve been placed with another school as opposed to home schooling continuing…obviously the reasons for that will vary…

…I think that there are lots of positives in home schooling in terms of you knowing James as a parent and being able to taper his education to his wants and needs and strengths etc…and home school children often do perform well academically because of that, that they’re able to have so much time devoted one to one…but obviously there’s the social aspect to consider as well with all of the activities etc that a school may offer…and just a general social environment of them working alongside peers in group situations…you say that you’re not able to get James to his present school, Vicky…?…would someone be able to get him elsewhere easily to take part in activities and for social reasons etc…?.. and even in visiting museums etc in terms of his learning processes…?…I mean, would transport in general be difficult…(…this is all rhetorical btw, just things to consider…)…there’s a lot to consider, I think but it does work for some so it’s just about researching it all and knowing that it feels right for you and James…I’m so sorry that you’re in this position, though and I’m so sorry that James isn’t happy and hasn’t felt safe…it really does have a feel from his father of being very controlling and I can understand how you’re feeling a bit despaired and lost with it all right now…:hug:…


…I was looking for a UK site/forum because I think that talking to other ‘a five’ home-schooling parents atm would really be helpful in giving you some thoughts about the practicalities and what’s involved etc…(…also the education authority and social services should give you guidance as well…)…but it’s good to have actual parents in the same situation/who have been and who home school every day…the first site that came up was the mums et one but I think it must be a specific section so worth looking at…?….

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/home_ed
Yea was going to look on Mumsnet tonight, they are generally good with ideas and support

The main problem for me is I don't drive so relying on buses for 4+ hours travel a day is kinda unfeasible. I'm also worried that if I do take him to old school on the bus, Gavin will pick him up early and then god knows what would happen..and yes he's very controlling, part of the reason I divorced him. I asked school if they could refuse to release him to Gavin and they said they can't as he has parental responsibility too

[AnnieK]

Skye. She's 13 now, he's 11. The social have been useless, there was a support worker involved because Skye's refused to go to school for months..the support worker seems to care about nothing but school attendance. Have a meeting with school on Friday so will see how that goes but it's really looking like this is my only option at the min

Do you have 50/50 custody?

[AnnieK]

Thanks, will have a proper look at that later. There does seem to be a lot of homeschooling resources online, probably since COVID. It's a bit.. intimidating though I have to be honest

There's a few Facebook groups as well I think - they may be able to talk you through it and where to start :love:

[Ammi]

Yea was going to look on Mumsnet tonight, they are generally good with ideas and support

The main problem for me is I don't drive so relying on buses for 4+ hours travel a day is kinda unfeasible. I'm also worried that if I do take him to old school on the bus, Gavin will pick him up early and then god knows what would happen..and yes he's very controlling, part of the reason I divorced him. I asked school if they could refuse to release him to Gavin and they said they can't as he has parental responsibility too

…yeah, the only time the school wouldn’t release a child to a parent is if there was a court order in place but I’m assuming that isn’t the case…otherwise they would have to release him to his father…

[Vicky.]

Do you have 50/50 custody?

Yup, not court ordered or anything, was just decided between us

[Vicky.]

…yeah, the only time the school wouldn’t release a child to a parent is if there was a court order in place but I’m assuming that isn’t the case…otherwise they would have to release him to his father…

That's what they said yeah.

Am trying to get mediation sorted to help but that seems a long process too :bored:

[Ammi]

Skye. She's 13 now, he's 11. The social have been useless, there was a support worker involved because Skye's refused to go to school for months..the support worker seems to care about nothing but school attendance. Have a meeting with school on Friday so will see how that goes but it's really looking like this is my only option at the min

…have you spoken to anyone and let them know that you don’t feel that you’re getting any support that you need right now…?…

[Ammi]

That's what they said yeah.

Am trying to get mediation sorted to help but that seems a long process too :bored:

…this is where schools/heads can intervene a lot in terms of getting help speeded up or be completely hopeless, I have to say…but sit back and let them be hopeless, make your voice heard constantly in saying that you need help now…

[Vicky.]

…have you spoken to anyone and let them know that you don’t feel that you’re getting any support that you need right now…?…

I tried ringing to get a proper social worker rather than this 'support worker' (who only cares about school) and all that happened was support worker was told I had an issue so she rang me to claim nothings wrong. So am stuck between a rock and a hard place.

This support worker even outright lied to me stating the only reason she's involved is because of attendance while school safeguarding lead told me it was because of Skye's behaviour towards James too..

Am so stressed about it all

[Ammi]

I tried ringing to get a proper social worker rather than this 'support worker' (who only cares about school) and all that happened was support worker was told I had an issue so she rang me to claim nothings wrong. So am stuck between a rock and a hard place.

This support worker even outright lied to me stating the only reason she's involved is because of attendance while school safeguarding lead told me it was because of Skye's behaviour towards James too..

Am so stressed about it all

…and you’ve tried contacting social services directly as well and not just through the school…?…this is actually bordering on negligence based on what you’re saying, Vicky…a child has said that they don’t feel safe at home, that’s a declaration that James had made and this isn’t being fast tracked to social services right now…especially as you’re also considering home-schooling him…this is crazy, I would seriously hound that school/that head and social services…

[Vicky.]

…and you’ve tried contacting social services directly as well and not just through the school…?…this is actually bordering on negligence based on what you’re saying, Vicky…a child has said that they don’t feel safe at home, that’s a declaration that James had made and this isn’t being fast tracked to social services right now…especially as you’re also considering home-schooling him…this is crazy, I would seriously hound that school/that head and social services…

Yea rang someone called 'first contact' which is apparently meant to refer you to social worker but all they said was a support worker is already involved. So I tried complaining telling them she refuses to acknowledge the violence James has suffered and again I was told support worker was involved already. Then she rang me back asking why I was complaining about her and that she's already doing all she can. I gave up with them at that stage.
I sent a long email to schools safeguarding lead which was a bit better, they confirmed that Skye's attendance wasn't all that the support worker was involved for, said it was also violence against James and James stating he doesn't get breakfast (!) and violence. Everything seems to now be hanging on something called a taf meeting which is on friday

[AnnieK]

Is James with you currently Vicky? I would not be letting him go anywhere if he is - keep him safe until this meeting on Friday. Is Gav doing anything to deal with Skye? How is she with James when they are with you?

[Vicky.]

Is James with you currently Vicky? I would not be letting him go anywhere if he is - keep him safe until this meeting on Friday. Is Gav doing anything to deal with Skye? How is she with James when they are with you?

Yea he's been with me since boxing day. James says Gavin does nothing while he's being tormented. Usually it's general sibling bickering but last time she was here she wouldn't leave him alone and was poking and prodding him for nearly two hours so I sent her back to dad's late on at night... James was breaking his heart :sad:

That's last time I saw her and main reason I refused to send him back. After this incident James told me how he hates life at his dad's because of this kinda behaviour plus violence

[Niamh.]

Skye. She's 13 now, he's 11. The social have been useless, there was a support worker involved because Skye's refused to go to school for months..the support worker seems to care about nothing but school attendance. Have a meeting with school on Friday so will see how that goes but it's really looking like this is my only option at the min

Ah that's terrible Vicky, does Skye still come to yours as well now or not? It's hard enough raising kids when both parents are working together but it's near impossible when you're not a united front because kids will be kids and will play you off against each other. Is there anyway you could get a court order to say James can move schools?

[Ammi]

Yea rang someone called 'first contact' which is apparently meant to refer you to social worker but all they said was a support worker is already involved. So I tried complaining telling them she refuses to acknowledge the violence James has suffered and again I was told support worker was involved already. Then she rang me back asking why I was complaining about her and that she's already doing all she can. I gave up with them at that stage.
I sent a long email to schools safeguarding lead which was a bit better, they confirmed that Skye's attendance wasn't all that the support worker was involved for, said it was also violence against James and James stating he doesn't get breakfast (!) and violence. Everything seems to now be hanging on something called a taf meeting which is on friday

…ahhh, it’s a team around the child meeting which is good because it should involve all of the services that are now involved in a care plan for James and how you all work together…it’s kind of a next step from a care around the child situation because so many more services will e involved…(hopefully…)…and you should meet them all on Friday…as will James’ father, he will probably be thee as well…I don’t know why social services haven’t made you feel the importance/urgency this is being dealt with but it actually sounds as though it is…which is what would be expected with the declarations James has made…I mean, on its own that poor attendance and coming to school hungry, without having breakfast …in themselves could point to a possible negligence and then for James to say that he feels fear in the home as well…?…but if you have the taf meeting on Friday, that’s an excellent sign that the services are identifying the support needed and working to put it all in place from then…(…hopefully…)…hopefully after Friday you’ll also start to feel clearer about the home schooling decision as well but please talk to all involved in the meeting as well about why you feel it’s the best option and if you get as much information about it before then that would be good…really, say everything you want to say at the meeting and also take notes of all the points made…

[Vicky.]

Ah that's terrible Vicky, does Skye still come to yours as well now or not? It's hard enough raising kids when both parents are working together but it's near impossible when you're not a united front because kids will be kids and will play you off against each other. Is there anyway you could get a court order to say James can move schools?

She's not coming at the moment..he won't send her

I think this mediation thing will end in a court order, but looks like it takes a while

[Vicky.]

…ahhh, it’s a team around the child meeting which is good because it should involve all of the services that are now involved in a care plan for James and how you all work together…it’s kind of a next step from a care around the child situation because so many more services will e involved…(hopefully…)…and you should meet them all on Friday…as will James’ father, he will probably be thee as well…I don’t know why social services haven’t made you feel the importance/urgency this is being dealt with but it actually sounds as though it is…which is what would be expected with the declarations James has made…I mean, on its own that poor attendance and coming to school hungry, without having breakfast …in themselves could point to a possible negligence and then for James to say that he feels fear in the home as well…?…but if you have the taf meeting on Friday, that’s an excellent sign that the services are identifying the support needed and working to put it all in place from then…(…hopefully…)…hopefully after Friday you’ll also start to feel clearer about the home schooling decision as well but please talk to all involved in the meeting as well about why you feel it’s the best option and if you get as much information about it before then that would be good…really, say everything you want to say at the meeting and also take notes of all the points made…
Gavin is refusing to go to the meeting unless I am on my own. I refuse to do this as I'm still intimidated by him even 4 years on...so my sister is going with me. So apparently they need 2 meetings because..he doesn't like my sister.

[Ammi]

She's not coming at the moment..he won't send her

I think this mediation thing will end in a court order, but looks like it takes a while

…sometimes…(…more rare times…)…children can be made wards of court as well and bigger decisions about schooling can be made by the courts as opposed to the parents…

[Niamh.]

She's not coming at the moment..he won't send her

I think this mediation thing will end in a court order, but looks like it takes a while

Such a shame, well it will look favorable to you if you can show that you've been making an effort to home school him while things are being sorted out

[Ammi]

Gavin is refusing to go to the meeting unless I am on my own. I refuse to do this as I'm still intimidated by him even 4 years on...so my sister is going with me. So apparently they need 2 meetings because..he doesn't like my sister.

…well in a way, it might be better/easier for you to feel as though you can raise everything you need to when he’s not there, so that could be good for you…and it does also give out the impression that he’s very controlling and prefers you to be ‘isolated’ in any interactions with him or regarding the children…isn’t that how he’s making James feel as well, that will hopefully already be noted that he refuses to attend if you have personal support with you…but don’t give him a thought at the meeting other than to focus completely on what you want to say ….

[AnnieK]

Is he happy at the school he is currently at Vicky and would you be happy with him staying at that school?? I know you can't get him there but the council could possibly arrange transport for him. A couple of kids at my son's school live far away and get cabs in that the council pay for? If he is happy there they may be able to do something like that.

Sounds so stressful - poor James (and poor you). Will you keep us informed after your meeting, it will be on my mind now.

[Ninastar]

Hey there! Long time no see!

I have worked with kids for 15+ years now and I have all kinds of experience. The main thing I stress is that you have a healthy, well organised routine. Make sure you have plenty of breaks available and use rewards like getting time to go online/play a game/go outside or anything you know your kids love.

I’m at work rn but feel free to pm me or message me
On social media (if I have you on anything) and I am more than happy to give you any advice or tips!

[Vicky.]

He asked me if I could switch his school to the one near me. Seems happy at school but also happy to change

[Cherie]

I used to meet a lady who was home schooling and she took her children regularly for sailing lessons, I think there are alot of online forums that can offer advice, sorry this may have been mentioned previously

[Cherie]

Online forums for uk homeschooling
For those looking for online forums to discuss homeschooling in the UK, there are several platforms where parents can connect, share experiences, and seek advice. Here are some of the most notable forums:
Mumsnet: A community forum where parents can find advice from others on homeschooling, including discussions on various aspects of home education.
1
Home Education UK: Offers support and resources for home educating parents and children, with a focus on various topics related to home education.
1
Home School Talk: A peer-to-peer forum that provides a space for discussions on different subjects, including home education.
1
Home Education & Homeschooling Forum: A forum where parents can post about their home education journeys and seek advice from others.
1
Home Education Directory | HomeEdClub: A platform dedicated to home education, offering a space for discussions and support among parents.
1
Netmums: A peer-to-peer support board where parents can post about their home education experiences and seek advice.
1

These forums provide a valuable resource for parents in the UK looking to homeschool their children, offering a community of like-minded individuals to share experiences and resources.

[Cherie]

He asked me if I could switch his school to the one near me. Seems happy at school but also happy to change

Could he talk to his Dad?

[Maru]

If you can find a supply shop that's local to you that serves homeschoolers, those are the best places I have learned to get advice and get in touch with a coop. That could help to fill in any gaps for social if they're not getting enough already. Usually the parents are informed about their child's progress and have had to endure the education system with their child. You'll very likely find people who are in a situation that mirrors your own, as there's many many reasons people homeschool, not just academics. It's becoming more common for people to pull their kids for homeschool for safety concerns or if they're not getting all the help that is actually needed (special needs or learning disabilities). Homeschool is exploding in the US for a number of reasons, but safety is a big one... Even if you are not turning to homeschool, they may tell you of services or options you're entitled to that you may not know about. For example every child with special needs is entitled to services where we are so it's still possible to still use therapy services for instance even if they're not enrolled... some have likely been through all the roadblocks you've gone through and then some and can give you the best advice to tackle it and look out for your child's interests.

Only other advice, if you hear the term "unschool" or "free school", run far far far away...

[Vicky.]

Could he talk to his Dad?

He doesn't seem to want to speak to dad, which is another red flag for me

[Crimson Dynamo]

Home schooling is a good idea

2009261311801040970?s=20

[Vicky.]

Meeting went **** really. Was talked over...support worker brought up again that I had complained about her. Gavin had a meeting after mine and they told him what James had said to the police about Skye! That's supposed to be confidential. I only know they told her because she messaged me about it

Anyway to cut a long story short I have now sent school an email stating I will be home educating James for the foreseeable future and to please remove him from their registers.

James is over the moon because I've told him part of home learning is going to places like museums for the day

[Ammi]

Meeting went **** really. Was talked over...support worker brought up again that I had complained about her. Gavin had a meeting after mine and they told him what James had said to the police about Skye! That's supposed to be confidential. I only know they told her because she messaged me about it

Anyway to cut a long story short I have now sent school an email stating I will be home educating James for the foreseeable future and to please remove him from their registers.

James is over the moon because I've told him part of home learning is going to places like museums for the day

….awwwww, I’m sad that the meeting went so badly for you, Vicky and didn’t make you feel that there was any future in working together but I’m wishing you so much love in you and James’ learning journey together…:hug:..

[Vicky.]

I'm both excited and scared I'm not up to it right now...should be a bit more chilled tomorrow:laugh:

[Ammi]

I'm both excited and scared I'm not up to it right now...should be a bit more chilled tomorrow:laugh:

…you’re up to it, don’t doubt that and there’ll be so much help out there for guidance as well…talk to and get as much information as you need from other home schoolers and the government site as well and honestly, such good luck to you both…:love:..

https://www.gov.uk/home-education

[Maru]

Meeting went **** really. Was talked over...support worker brought up again that I had complained about her. Gavin had a meeting after mine and they told him what James had said to the police about Skye! That's supposed to be confidential. I only know they told her because she messaged me about it

Anyway to cut a long story short I have now sent school an email stating I will be home educating James for the foreseeable future and to please remove him from their registers.

James is over the moon because I've told him part of home learning is going to places like museums for the day

I am so sorry it came to that, Vicky. You want to believe people will come through but sometimes it's just not worth the trouble anymore.

[Maru]

I'm both excited and scared I'm not up to it right now...should be a bit more chilled tomorrow:laugh:

Very normal!

[Niamh.]

I'm both excited and scared I'm not up to it right now...should be a bit more chilled tomorrow[emoji23]You'll be fine, best of luck with it :love:

[Crimson Dynamo]

Remember if you wake up one day and you fancy a lie in and once you are up
to sit in your PJs watching Countdown all day vaping and eating junk food just
tell the kid its an "In service day" and if he moans about it tell them he is
affecting your Mental Health and you will report him to your Union

That will learn the little Brat

:oh:

[Vicky.]

Thanks. Still a bit scared but feeling a bit more confident now

[Ammi]

Thanks. Still a bit scared but feeling a bit more confident now

…of course, but that’s a good thing …(….more concerning if you weren’t scared …)..because that scared bit is an indication of how focused you are and will be of how focused you are in giving him the best educational path that you can…and obviously the happier he is, the more he will absorb…an unhappy child is just so hindering and blocking of the information they absorb, you know…so a bit of scared is good, it’ll help your thought processing so much as well in laying out your planning and that will all become easier and easier as time goes on and that confidence part will grow, but hopefully keeping a bit of that scared as well…:laugh:…as I’ve said, join communities of home-schooling parents and take in their experiences also…not to copy but to help you and James to plan your educational path together…

[Cherie]

Have you looked for a home schooling group in your area Vicky, safety in numbers and all that

[Vicky.]

I'm on a national one ATM, need to search locals still