Im Trying To Come Out...

[Mickster]

hey everyone i am 15 years old and I am trying to "come out" to family and friends. I dont know how to do this and I am scared that people will judje me. I have realised that I am gay for afew years now and I really dont want to harbour this secret any longer-

could anyone help me??

[pinkmichk]

if you really cant face telling them face to face write them a letter start with close family first then go from there

[Hugo]

Just go ahead and say it, or just start dropping a few hints over time so they guess before you have to tell them so it won't be such a huge shock.

[Firewire]

I can not give you advice on this.

Ask someone who has already 'came out' and they might help you.

[Ninastar]

Maybe your friends wont really mind? You should ask someone you really trust and know wont be like OMG WHAT!???? and be nasty etc and ask them things like if so and so was gay would you care etc.
Ok that's maybe a bad way of doing things but i am trying to help lol x
and I agree with the hints thing. Thats what my friend did and he was fine x

[Jake!]

Maybe the best thing to do is too find someone maybe a friend or a close family member who could say it for you and then make it easier so you don't have to explain. It could be a weight of your shoulders if someone else says the hard part.

[M X]

Just remember, if you know that your family & friends really care about you than they will be fine - if they are bothered by this - **** them and still come out.

Don't be worried. Come out to your best friend first and then to other people later.

[xDramatick]

I'm gay too, I've come out to my mum, and all my friends.

With my friends, I told the one who I thought, or knew, would be the most accepting. Luckily for me, one of my best friends is one of the most accepting people I know and she was fine with it. That was almost five years ago. Then slowly, as the years gone by, I came out to more and more people. It is a slow process, but some of my friends wouldn't have been as mature five years ago then say, two. I'd much rather have done it that way. Obviously I didn't just say 'hey guess what i'm gay' to them, some required more hints and stuff [as previously said by HUGO^] but some I just came out with it. Another thing I did to lessen the reaction was start of by telling some of the friends who I thought would be awkward with it that I was bisexual, and then just slowly changed it to gay over the time by mentioning guys all the time etc. If I'm honest, the main way that all my friends have become to accept it, is just by getting used to it all the time. I get all the gay jokes and stuff but it's in light-hearted humour, so I can laugh about it. I guess I'm lucky to have amazing mates.

If your friends don't accept you, they're not great friends. Although I will say that it may not be that. If they don't know any gay people then give them time to get used to it. If they happen to be homophobic, I've learnt to not try and change that. As hard as it can be, if you're friends with someone anti-gay, then the best thing to do is refrain from talking about it with them. If they're openly abusive, then it's a big "**** you" and I walk away. Obviously that's just me but it's how I've become myself today.

As for my mother, I was six months into my relationship with my boyfriend, and I just sat her down [she's one of the most gay friendly people I know, looking back, idk why I didn't tell her earlier] and just explained in one nervous shaky ramble all about my boyfriend&sexuality. She was totally fine with it, and there's been no change in our relationship [well, we're a lot closer now]

The last thing I will advise, is not to get defensive or awkward if your friends or family ask you questions. If there's one thing I've learnt, it's to answer questions about my sexuality with complete honesty. They're bound to be curious [particularly if they don't know any other gay people] so accept the questions just as they should accept you.

I hope this helps, all from personal experience lol. If you need anymore advise or help, feel free to ask/U2U me.

[Hugo]

Dr. Phil much?
:P

[MrGaryy]

Do it slowly. Tell one person. One person you absolutely know will accept it. That way if you tell someone else and they take it badly you'll have someone to fall back on. Either a family member or a good friend. Then just tell others over a long period of time. You'll know if it's the right time or not. Coming out to everyone all at once is not a good idea.

[Tom]

mums always know ... apparently

so theres your starting point

[Novo]

Go to www.eskimotube.com

Type in Puma Swede

Watch the video's and you'll be okay you wont have to come out then

you'll be cured

[Lauren]

Aw darenn your mum sounds lovely.

[Lauren]

Originally posted by .Andy.
Go to www.eskimtube.com

Type in Puma Swede

Watch the video's and you'll be okay you wont have to come out then

you'll be cured

You missed out a letter.

Edit: argh, I'm too slow you edited, haha.

[Novo]

Originally posted by Lauren
Originally posted by .Andy.
Go to www.eskimtube.com

Type in Puma Swede

Watch the video's and you'll be okay you wont have to come out then

you'll be cured

You missed out a letter.

Ahh yes the o

[Deirdre]

How ironic, I'm just after watching "Milk".

You should come out to someone you trust first. Or when everybody is together just come out and say it. What's the worst that can happen?

[WATERS]

They probably know

[MarkWaldorf]

Originally posted by WATERS
They probably know

That poster of the topless slag on your closet ain't convincing anyone, Paul.

[Lauren]

Originally posted by MarkWaldorf
Originally posted by WATERS
They probably know

That poster of the topless slag on your closet ain't convincing anyone, Paul.

Pmsfl, Mark! I've been gone off TiBB for 2 weeks and come back to find you've turned into betch of the year. What happened boi!

[MarkWaldorf]

Originally posted by Lauren
Originally posted by MarkWaldorf
Originally posted by WATERS
They probably know

That poster of the topless slag on your closet ain't convincing anyone, Paul.

Pmsfl, Mark! I've been gone off TiBB for 2 weeks and come back to find you've turned into betch of the year. What happened boi!

I think it's the 'Waldorf' in my username, LOL!

http://i44.tinypic.com/5n054.gif

[andyman]

You like Britney, your parents should know. :bigsmile:

You could speak to any local vicar.

[MarkWaldorf]

Originally posted by andyman
You like Britney, your parents should know. :bigsmile:

You could speak to any local vicar.

http://ocw.usu.edu/University_Extension/sheep-and-lambing-management/sheep.jpg

[andyman]

Markus likes his local vicar.. Bad boy!

[Locke.]

Originally posted by MarkWaldorf
Originally posted by andyman
You like Britney, your parents should know. :bigsmile:

You could speak to any local vicar.

http://ocw.usu.edu/University_Extension/sheep-and-lambing-management/sheep.jpg

US scientists are conducting experiments which aim to change the sexuality of homosexual sheep.
The news has provoked an outcry among the gay and lesbian community who fear it could pave the way for breeding out homosexuality in humans.

One gay rights campaigner likened the research to eugenics, while former Wimbledon winner Martina Navratilova, who is a lesbian, labelled it "homophobic".

The experiments were authorised to help farmers, who complained they were losing out financially because on average one in 10 rams is gay.

By studying the brains of the homosexual rams, scientists pinpointed the mechanisms influencing their sexual orientation.

They gave the sheep injections to adjust the levels of hormones in their brains and some of the previously gay rams became attracted to ewes.

[30stone]

Get some posters of naked women stick them to the celing and stare at them every night.

[andyman]

Originally posted by Locke
Originally posted by MarkWaldorf
Originally posted by andyman
You like Britney, your parents should know. :bigsmile:

You could speak to any local vicar.

http://ocw.usu.edu/University_Extension/sheep-and-lambing-management/sheep.jpg

US scientists are conducting experiments which aim to change the sexuality of homosexual sheep.
The news has provoked an outcry among the gay and lesbian community who fear it could pave the way for breeding out homosexuality in humans.

One gay rights campaigner likened the research to eugenics, while former Wimbledon winner Martina Navratilova, who is a lesbian, labelled it "homophobic".

The experiments were authorised to help farmers, who complained they were losing out financially because on average one in 10 rams is gay.

By studying the brains of the homosexual rams, scientists pinpointed the mechanisms influencing their sexual orientation.

They gave the sheep injections to adjust the levels of hormones in their brains and some of the previously gay rams became attracted to ewes. There is hope for Britney fans then..
Bad news for her tho, her album sales will drop big time and less males will enjoy mean girls and gossip girl bs..

But this could cause problems for the fashion world...

[MarkWaldorf]

Originally posted by andyman
Originally posted by Locke
Originally posted by MarkWaldorf
Originally posted by andyman
You like Britney, your parents should know. :bigsmile:

You could speak to any local vicar.

http://ocw.usu.edu/University_Extension/sheep-and-lambing-management/sheep.jpg

US scientists are conducting experiments which aim to change the sexuality of homosexual sheep.
The news has provoked an outcry among the gay and lesbian community who fear it could pave the way for breeding out homosexuality in humans.

One gay rights campaigner likened the research to eugenics, while former Wimbledon winner Martina Navratilova, who is a lesbian, labelled it "homophobic".

The experiments were authorised to help farmers, who complained they were losing out financially because on average one in 10 rams is gay.

By studying the brains of the homosexual rams, scientists pinpointed the mechanisms influencing their sexual orientation.

They gave the sheep injections to adjust the levels of hormones in their brains and some of the previously gay rams became attracted to ewes. There is hope for Britney fans then..
Bad news for her tho, her album sales will drop big time and less males will enjoy mean girls and gossip girl bs..

But this could cause problems for the fashion world...

http://www.reggie.net/photos/ireland/sligo/carrowkeel/4737304_black_and_white_sheep-600.jpg

[Shaun]

Why do andyman, .Andy., Locke and Robin-Van-Perfect always come into threads with obvious gay connotations? :whistle:

answers on a postcard to
"In The Closet
PO Box 69
Brighton"

:)

[Locke.]

Originally posted by Picto
Why do andyman, .Andy., Locke and Robin-Van-Perfect always come into threads with obvious gay connotations? :whistle:

answers on a postcard to
"In The Closet
PO Box 69
Brighton"

:)

What other gay threads have I been in?

[andyman]

Shaun! How dare you!!!

I came here just to help the poor lad, other members have given him good advice..

Shaun stop being a mean bully.

[Novo]

Originally posted by Picto
Why do andyman, .Andy., Locke and Robin-Van-Perfect always come into threads with obvious gay connotations? :whistle:

answers on a postcard to
"In The Closet
PO Box 69
Brighton"

:)

Not everyone is Gay you know


it's liked your shocked to see 4 straight guys

Christ Get over it Pal

[30stone]

Lol.

What they said ^^

[MarkWaldorf]

and I'd love to know why 90% of andyman's posts involve Britney, when he apparently dislikes her. He's a 30 year old man who acts more immature than some of the younger members on here. So laughable really, it's why I cannot take him seriously at all and just present him with mirror images of himself - sheep! :bored:

[Locke.]

Originally posted by MarkWaldorf
and I'd love to know why 90% of andyman's posts involve Britney, when he apparently dislikes her. He's a 30 year old man who acts more immature than some of the younger members on here. So laughable really, it's why I cannot take him seriously at all and just present him with mirror images of himself - sheep! :bored:

He's having a laugh, not everbody takes everything on the forum so seriously.

[30stone]

Originally posted by Locke
Originally posted by MarkWaldorf
and I'd love to know why 90% of andyman's posts involve Britney, when he apparently dislikes her. He's a 30 year old man who acts more immature than some of the younger members on here. So laughable really, it's why I cannot take him seriously at all and just present him with mirror images of himself - sheep! :bored:

He's having a laugh, not everbody takes everything on the forum so seriously.

Yeh its a bit of fun,

Dont have to be mature all the time its an internet forum..

[MarkWaldorf]

Originally posted by Locke
Originally posted by MarkWaldorf
and I'd love to know why 90% of andyman's posts involve Britney, when he apparently dislikes her. He's a 30 year old man who acts more immature than some of the younger members on here. So laughable really, it's why I cannot take him seriously at all and just present him with mirror images of himself - sheep! :bored:

He's having a laugh, not everbody takes everything on the forum so seriously.

Having a laugh every day? He must think it's a never ending ball of hilarity then. :rolleyes:

[andyman]

Shaun got a problem with straight people? Whats wrong with you shaunith? Eh?

Please dude get over yo self! Were straight, were here and we want our fookin beer!

[Locke.]

Originally posted by andyman
Please dude get over yo self! Were straight, were here and we want our fookin beer!

:laugh3::laugh3::laugh3:

[Novo]

Originally posted by Locke
Originally posted by andyman
Please dude get over yo self! Were straight, were here and we want our fookin beer!

:laugh3::laugh3::laugh3:

That is my custom status now

Another Line from the legend that is Andyman

[30stone]

Best One Liner Ever.

[andyman]

Originally posted by MarkWaldorf
and I'd love to know why 90% of andyman's posts involve Britney, when he apparently dislikes her. He's a 30 year old man who acts more immature than some of the younger members on here. So laughable really, it's why I cannot take him seriously at all and just present him with mirror images of himself - sheep! :bored: 90%? You sure pal?
It is around 22%... C'mon get with it.
Fact is the whole Britney thing is just a bit of fun! I thought you was more clued up than to cry over it, c'mon don't be upset over my posts, i never attack you do i? Well do i?

[Billy]

ANDYMAN IS THIRTY?!

[Shaun]

Oooh, so defensive.

And I lashed out at you because I'm fed up with all this "get cured" bollocks you keep saying, as if homosexuality is an illness.

[Novo]

Originally posted by Billy
ANDYMAN IS THIRTY?!

Yes and he still looks like he's 21

[Locke.]

Originally posted by Picto
Oooh, so defensive.

And I lashed out at you because I'm fed up with all this "get cured" ******** you keep saying, as if homosexuality is an illness.

I only posted a story about homosexual sheep!!! Nothing to do with being cured [apart from the sheep] Sean, you are reading into these things too much.

[Shaun]

In this thread alone:

.Andy.: youll be cured
Cured from what exactly? The OP has already said he's decided he is gay, and is facing a dilemma over how to tell people about it, not how to 'cure it'.

andyman: talk to your local vicar
I assume this isn't to talk about the upcoming village fète, but something about becoming a good christian, since homosexuality is a sin. *gasp*

Robin-Van-Perfect: get some posters of naked women and stick them to your ceiling.
Again, he's said he is gay. What good would that do?

Sorry Locke, you're in my good books :p

[andyman]

Originally posted by Billy
ANDYMAN IS THIRTY?! Yes and i own my house, have a car, pay silly tax, pay loads of bills, have sex with women, drink in pubs, have a hgv licence, have a forklift truck licence, have done loads of naughty things...

I like ancient roman history, politics, big silly on tibb due to half of my brain missing.... :sad:




:bigsmile:

[30stone]

Originally posted by andyman
Originally posted by Billy
ANDYMAN IS THIRTY?! Yes and i own my house, have a car, pay silly tax, pay loads of bills, have sex with women, drink in pubs, have a hgv licence, have a forklift truck licence, have done loads of naughty things...

I like ancient roman history, politics, big silly on tibb due to half of my brain missing.... :sad:




:bigsmile:

I so wnat a hgv lisence...

Just so i can drive somthing big and lord it over other people like pull out before me and i will smash you.

[Rory]

Locke/Robin-Van-Perfect/.Andy./andyman, if you don't have any useful advice for the OP please don't say anything at all. He's asking for advice, not criticism.

Mark/Shaun, please don't argue/insult other members. If you want to do that, deal with it outside of the forum. (Same goes for the first bunch)

Can we just go back to helping the OP instead of arguing with each other? Any posts with insults will be deleted.

[andyman]

Originally posted by Robin-Van-Perfect
Originally posted by andyman
Originally posted by Billy
ANDYMAN IS THIRTY?! Yes and i own my house, have a car, pay silly tax, pay loads of bills, have sex with women, drink in pubs, have a hgv licence, have a forklift truck licence, have done loads of naughty things...

I like ancient roman history, politics, big silly on tibb due to half of my brain missing.... :sad:




:bigsmile:

I so wnat a hgv lisence...

Just so i can drive somthing big and lord it over other people like pull out before me and i will smash you. For HGV you have to be 21 or over but at 18 you can gain a 7.5ton licence..

[30stone]

Ok, my bad,

I say just tell em randomally surprise them with it, may not like it at first but it will grow on them they wont worry. So it shouldnt worry you.

[Locke.]

E-Mail them. And if they take it badly say someone hacked your account and sent the e-mail, and that you're really straight. :dance:

[30stone]

Originally posted by andyman
Originally posted by Robin-Van-Perfect
Originally posted by andyman
Originally posted by Billy
ANDYMAN IS THIRTY?! Yes and i own my house, have a car, pay silly tax, pay loads of bills, have sex with women, drink in pubs, have a hgv licence, have a forklift truck licence, have done loads of naughty things...

I like ancient roman history, politics, big silly on tibb due to half of my brain missing.... :sad:




:bigsmile:

I so wnat a hgv lisence...

Just so i can drive somthing big and lord it over other people like pull out before me and i will smash you. For HGV you have to be 21 or over but at 18 you can gain a 7.5ton licence..

YES. though thinking of it i want a shitbox so i can just drive into people lol!! when they annoy me.

I almost crashed the other day coz some guy decided to go straight across a lil round about when i was turning right (was my right of way).

I stopped to check my car in the middle of the roundabout holding everyone up n started shouting at the bloke lol he drove off..

I was like 1 inch from hitting him, ****ing ******.

[xDramatick]

Originally posted by Lauren
Aw darenn your mum sounds lovely.

she is :spin2:

[doriens]

Originally posted by Mickster
hey everyone i am 15 years old and I am trying to "come out" to family and friends. I dont know how to do this and I am scared that people will judje me. I have realised that I am gay for afew years now and I really dont want to harbour this secret any longer-

could anyone help me??


This is how my mate came out , i know he wont mind me showing you if its helps.

This must be the third or even fourth attempt at writing this message. Everytime I have restarted, I have hoped it would get easier and sound simpler, but the fact of the matter is, it wont.

Mum and Dad, I am gay! I really don't want to be, and trust me, I have tried to pretend it wasnt so!

Pulling off a Barrymore wouldn't happen for me, I have no idea if you knew or not, but this burden is becoming too much! I've had to deal with lots, and believe me I'm not trying for the sympathy vote, I'd rather it all forgotten, but as was said to me:



'Whats better? Being loved for someone you are not, or hated for someone you are?' I'd rather be hated and be me, than loved and be someone, anyone else wants. I hope, and think, you guys can deal with that!

You really wont and don't understand how much courage and fear has gone into writing this, and whats scares me most, is, I am sober - I have known this would happen soon, so stayed sober enough to realise that doing this without question is betetr than doing it half-assed!

Why do we as people pressume that people are straight, ands its only the atypical that are gay?! Gay people don't want to be gay, quite a few want wifes and children, but are fed up of lying!

No idea who said it, but it's true none-the-less, 'why is it that as a society we would rather see two men holding guns, than holding hands?!' I don't want to be different, and i'd like to think go dmade me this way, but I dont believe in him either, so I'm screwed. I'm a battyman, and really, really wish i wasn't, wetehr it made me a freak or unique, I'd rather be normal. Run-of-the-mill, plain ole Luke, but alas it wont happen because I feel guilty, for not letting you know, even though I have never lied about it.

I've no idea why I have left it until now, but like Dad I'm stubborn...it's difficult writing this, wht? Some peoples parents abandon them completely, some parents think it'll pass and some parent sobsess over it! I dont want things to change, but they will - regardless of how they try to change it, one things for usre, I still wont lie about it, I might disagree about it, bit I cant lie about it!

I've ;eft it ages to let you know, i;ce known for as long as I can rememberrrr, tolf and shared with more friends than you know. Just read this through, what a bunch of waffles, doesnt explain what i thought it would, gets harder and seems i need to justify it more with each word, but i cant, the burden is too much!!

Another stupid quote, but one i have pndered other more than you can believe 'I'd rather be black than gay, coz when you're gay you dont have to tell your mother'

I've run out of tears, and am fed up of expectations i cannot fulfil, I cannot cry or fear this more than I have for as long as i can remember, but being someone except me, is beyond me now!

I dont want to 'know everything will be okay, I dont want a hug, I dont want things to change', I just want to know I'm not being somebody else tonight!

[TheMac]

Skipped the last post, too much to read, but just tell them. The ones that care don't matter, and the ones that matter don't care. AND also

FIFTH STRAIGHT GUY :dance2: