View Full Version : TiBB Does The Apprentice 2 - LIVE FIRING 4 (Loukas, Sam, you're fired)
Six are about to become four in...
http://assets.bbspy.co.uk/tibb/ta_logo.png
OMG AHHH! good luck everyone
Hello, and welcome to the fourth firing of TiBB Apprentice 2009.
It's been another eventful task as the two teams each wrote stories for the creative writing forum.
Twelve forum members became characters in the two stories - the Oinks' "If U Seek Britney", and Team Fetch's "Outside Of The Box".
Tonight, another two candidates from the losing team will be leaving the competition.
Nicky.
07-04-2009, 07:06 PM
Oh my gawdd!
Good luck everyone!
Locke.
07-04-2009, 07:08 PM
Can you do it in 23 minutes? The footie is on!
But first of all, we need to find out who the losing team is.
A panel of three judges are about to give their thoughts on the two team's stories.
They will confim which of the two they prefer - and the team behind the story with the most judge votes will win, with the losing team facing the firing.
The judges are...
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/__qzX-0fL9Js/R1TuRV9vkpI/AAAAAAAAAmo/zBKz2lQpJhc/s400/pig.bmp
Loukas
07-04-2009, 07:11 PM
Good Luck Piggys. Good Luck to our team too, hopefully Fetch will have it's first win of the comp *Crosses Fingers*
...huge contributor to the creative writing forum Magic, and forum members Satisfaction and JOSHUAH!.
Magic will be the first to judge, so it's over to him...
Magic
07-04-2009, 07:15 PM
If U Seek Britney – Team One [/b]
So, where shall I begin? I think in this task you have thought well, and you have combined three factors which make ANY TiBB game or story a success. You have used interaction, members and Miss Britney Spears – but I am not sure if it was quite enough.
I do like general outline of the story, I think you have used real imagination and comedy, and have finished with a great outcome. But, I do think you could have made several improvements. First of all, personally I think the layout could do with an adjustment; the paragraphs could have been more divided and I dont think writing in italics made the easiest read. Secondly, I understand there was a limited word count but sometimes I think things moved too fast, and in some places the story doesn’t seem to have a natural flow.
My final flaw is in the ‘interaction element’ – it didn’t seem clear what we were voting for! You didn’t explain clearly saying what the voting options were, and somebody had to ask for the voting link!
To summarise – I think the original concept was good – but it just didn’t seem to run as smoothly as it could of.
Outside Of The Box – Team Two
I really like the idea of your piece, as I have feel you have used two factors which make a easy to read story – short chunks and comedy. However, I don’t think you have used the right approach. To me, after reading three it seemed to get boring – it was just too much one way dialogue! What about body language, and the psychiatrists responses?
Also, I think on one of the articles you have lacked imagination. Does ‘Ross' remind you of anyone? A boy with a slightly autistic personality traits, and has a Rat, often talks about numbers, and little about emotion? It seems you have completely stolen the character of Christopher from Mark Haddons ‘The Curious Incident of The Dog at Night Time’ – and unless this is purely coincidental, it seems imagination hasn’t been used generously here, and it makes me wonder if the other characters aren’t original ideas by you.
However, I think you picked on members little flaws, and exaggerated them – which made a great read!
Just in our defence Magic, both endings and the advert to vote all had to come within our word limit and we finished with 4 words to spare so ...
Loukas
07-04-2009, 07:20 PM
It seems you have completely stolen the character of Christopher from Mark Haddons ‘The Curious Incident of The Dog at Night Time’
I think it's a coincidence, i haven't even heard of that book.
Thanks for your comments magic.
And i'm sure the fact it's italic shouldn't effect the overall outcome :blush2:
Nicky.
07-04-2009, 07:20 PM
..and it was in like size 7 or 8 the 'Click here to vote!' and I think it was pretty easy to work out what 'Should Britney get killed or not?' meant :tongue:
Magic
07-04-2009, 07:25 PM
I really am unsure of what decision to make - both have strengths and weaknesses - But I am going for the more creative, yet less 'easy read' story - 'If U Seek Britney'
Nicky.
07-04-2009, 07:28 PM
Thank youu :) :lovedup:
Loukas
07-04-2009, 07:29 PM
Originally posted by Magic
I really am unsure of what decision to make - both have strengths and weaknesses - But I am going for the more creative, yet less 'easy read' story - 'If U Seek Britney'
Ok, Fair Points. Well Done Oinks. Thanks Magic :thumbs:
Thank you Magic.
The next judgement comes from Satisfaction. He is currently offline, but he provided me with his opinions before he signed off.
He said,
Outside Of The Box -
I really like the concept of it. The images really helped convey the story and the way that it was written, almost like a log, was extremely effective. I also liked how Part One dealt with the problem, and Part Two showed how it had been resolved after a week. The way it was written was clever, I liked how it was all speech from the patient though more narration of what they were doing could've been a nice addition. I feel each person could have been elaborated on, perhaps dig a bit deeper, although I understand there was a word limit. Overall, I felt the story flowed well, it was easy to follow and it was different, and therefore enjoyable.
If U Seek Britney -
Interesting wordplay on the title. At first glance, it's not easy on the eyes. I think you could've spaced out the paragraphs to make that easier. As for the story, I think it was pretty good, certainly imaginative. It was a very fast-paced story, I don't know whether that was intended but it got a bit confusing as to what was happening at times and some parts could have done with more detail as it did move on very quickly. The interactivity element was a great idea though, and it was well written, I could see it published.
I preferred...
Loukas
07-04-2009, 07:37 PM
Thank you Darren :spin:
We had a lot to pack into a small story. lol
Nicky.
07-04-2009, 07:38 PM
Thanks :spin:
It was short and sweet because of the word count, we had like 3 words spare.. so yanno :3
...Team Fetch's story
Thanks to Darenn (Satisfaction).
That means that the score is tied at 1-1.
Ninastar
07-04-2009, 07:40 PM
yay
Ah well, thanks anyway Darenn
Loukas
07-04-2009, 07:41 PM
Thank you Darren, once again fair points. :wink:
Nicky.
07-04-2009, 07:42 PM
Ah well, well done guys :3
Harry!
07-04-2009, 07:43 PM
Oinks to win!
JOSHUAH! is the final person to judge.
Over to him...
JOSHUAH!
07-04-2009, 07:45 PM
First of all I’d just like to say this was all done on short notice so I may not have the expertise to say what I think of both your stories.
TEAM FETCH
I think both stories have a real burst of imagination, in the way of presenting them and in the way of describing each character. I especially think Team Fetch were brilliant to use The Sims 2, the images made it slightly better to read and it got more people focused in on the story. However, I do feel Team Fetch lacked that urgency and entertainment value, I feel like there was no fun, it is very serious and I didn’t really like the setting. I think setting is a huge part of a story and to be centred in a therapist’s office is particularly boring. Yes, I can imagine Team Fetch wanted the story to be focused on the plot, which is true, but setting adds to entertainment, to persuasiveness to make the reader continue reading on, and I felt really bored after the first few lines, because of the setting. The style of writing however was really good and whoever written it done well, there were those lines which made you chuckle and the odd serious one too. Overall though, I’d argue that if the story was set somewhere else it would have been much more enticing to read. Maybe I’m just one of those people who prefers and adventure, and I think I am.
I have to commend Team Fetch on the idea to bring in The Sims 2 because that is imaginative, I just think it’s a shame you weren’t so imaginative on the setting. I think the basic skeleton of the plot is good, but as your title says, think ‘Outside of the Box’ and don’t set it inside a therapist’s room! It could have been somewhere else which would have been way more interesting and less stereotypical and unoriginal.
TEAM OINK'S
Team Oink’s story is amazing. The first thing I noticed was that it is an adventure, and I always do genuinely prefer an adventure story. I thought the tie in with Britney was very funny, seeing as there are many fans of her on TiBB. The writing is great and whoever written the story done very well. I think the plot is a great idea, it’s comical and it’s obviously based on the Wizard of Oz which shows creativeness because you adapted it to people from TiBB themselves.
Throughout the story I felt like I needed to carry on reading. It was comical, serious, tongue in cheek and just a very feel good story. As with Team Fetch bringing in The Sims 2, I have to also commend Team Oink’s for bringing in the interactive vote. It was great that we got to vote on how the story turned out, it shows participation and also it meant people HAD to read your story to see the final product.
Both teams had a good amount of text, a good plot and good ways of presenting their stories. Good Luck!
Nicky.
07-04-2009, 07:46 PM
Thanks Josh!
We all wrote it, Sam the start, me the middle and Tom did the endings :)
We split the story up into 3 and all did part each so its all of us that written it :hello:
Thanks Joshuah
Shaun
07-04-2009, 07:52 PM
iirc, Fetch's is the one about mental illness and Oinks' is the one where Madonna and Fom go to see Britney, right?
Either way, the one about seeing Britney was a bit unoriginal. It seemed to me just a way of ticking the boxes with forum members. I can imagine this being pitched in a boardroom and all the boring executives asking "can we throw in some Britney? Sales should boost by 40%". I did, however, think the interactive element was a stroke of genius :)
Call me biased if you will, but I preferred the Fetch one. It was different, but Magic's claim of plagiarism (or at least using a similar character to the book he mentioned) is interesting. I haven't read it, so I can't comment. But yeah, it was more interesting to read than the other story.
JOSHUAH!
07-04-2009, 07:52 PM
So, with everything taken into account, I prefer
TEAM OINK'S story
Yay!! Thanks so much :dance::dance:
Loukas
07-04-2009, 07:54 PM
Drat! Well Done Team Oinks! :wink: :bigsmile:
Nicky.
07-04-2009, 07:54 PM
Thank youuu!! :cheer2: :cheer2:
JOSHUAH!
07-04-2009, 07:55 PM
Picto I appreciate you're point, I'm not saying Team Fetch's story should have been set in a fairground, just somewhere more original than a phsyciatrists office.
Locke.
07-04-2009, 07:55 PM
Yes!!
Thank you Joshuah!.
This means that the score is Oinks 2, Fetch 1 - meaning that Fetch face the firing.
As there are only three candidates left in the team, all three will face the firing.
I hope you stay Loukas, but good luck to all Fetch.
Nicky.
07-04-2009, 08:01 PM
Good luck :)
...but before Team Fetch plead their cases, I'd like to inform you all of some news.
Earlier this week, both team leaders, Nicky (Oinks) and Sam (Team Fetch), who were both elected by their teams, were offered a secret mission.
Their mission, should they have accepted it, was to become saboteurs, doing everything in their power to make their team fail the task.
If they had succeeded in making their team fail, they would have automatically passed through the firing - meaning their two team mates would have been sent packing.
But did they accept the offer?...
Originally posted by Picto
iirc, Fetch's is the one about mental illness and Oinks' is the one where Madonna and Fom go to see Britney, right?
Either way, the one about seeing Britney was a bit unoriginal. It seemed to me just a way of ticking the boxes with forum members. I can imagine this being pitched in a boardroom and all the boring executives asking "can we throw in some Britney? Sales should boost by 40%". I did, however, think the interactive element was a stroke of genius :)
Call me biased if you will, but I preferred the Fetch one. It was different, but Magic's claim of plagiarism (or at least using a similar character to the book he mentioned) is interesting. I haven't read it, so I can't comment. But yeah, it was more interesting to read than the other story.
Hold on, who was it who included Mean Girls references in their team identity to try and make it more popular?
Nicky.
07-04-2009, 08:02 PM
YOU LIED TO ME MATT :shocked:
Originally posted by Tom
Originally posted by Picto
iirc, Fetch's is the one about mental illness and Oinks' is the one where Madonna and Fom go to see Britney, right?
Either way, the one about seeing Britney was a bit unoriginal. It seemed to me just a way of ticking the boxes with forum members. I can imagine this being pitched in a boardroom and all the boring executives asking "can we throw in some Britney? Sales should boost by 40%". I did, however, think the interactive element was a stroke of genius :)
Call me biased if you will, but I preferred the Fetch one. It was different, but Magic's claim of plagiarism (or at least using a similar character to the book he mentioned) is interesting. I haven't read it, so I can't comment. But yeah, it was more interesting to read than the other story.
Hold on, who was it who included Mean Girls references in their team identity to try and make it more popular?
And the ones who used Britney in their advert? :tongue:
...well, I can confirm that both Nicky and Sam declined the offer, stating that they'd rather make it further honestly.
This means that the firing will now proceed as normal, with the three Team Fetch candidates facing the axe.
Loukas, Sam, and Sia, you now have until 9.15pm to tell James why you think he should save you.
Your comments could make all the difference - remember it's a double firing!
I was getting worried then :dance2:
Shaun
07-04-2009, 08:07 PM
Fat lot of good that did :tongue:
And what I'm saying is that it's unoriginal. You don't see previous Apprentice teams called Fetch, but you see a lot of old stories in the Creative Writing section mentioning Britney Spears.
I'm not getting into an argument - it's just my opinion. It doesn't have any influence over the decision and I understand. You both worked hard and well done on winning.
Nicky.
07-04-2009, 08:09 PM
Thank God I said no! xD
I would have been byebyes D:
Originally posted by Picto
Fat lot of good that did :tongue:
And what I'm saying is that it's unoriginal. You don't see previous Apprentice teams called Fetch, but you see a lot of old stories in the Creative Writing section mentioning Britney Spears.
I'm not getting into an argument - it's just my opinion. It doesn't have any influence over the decision and I understand. You both worked hard and well done on winning.
You also see stories impersonating TiBB members
Sam asked me to post this on his behalf if he couldn't make the show:
If this is being shown to James right now then It obviously means that we have lost... for the fourth time – which really isn’t very good. But I don’t think I should be fired as I put in extreme effort into this story. I stayed up till late making sure the story was at the quality I wanted it and also spent ages on the illustrations. I have survived three firings now and hopefully after this I would have survived four. But being against Loukas, and Sia – especially Sia. It’s going to be pretty hard to get to the final in this position. I can’t decide for you but I think I would make a good apprentice due to the large amount of effort I put in and the drive I have. Thanks for the opportunity.
Thank you candidates.
It's now up to James to fire two contestants, so it's over to him...
Loukas
07-04-2009, 08:18 PM
I have been on the winning team more times then any of them, and i have also brought my team (When i was in Oinks) to a win. Sam and Sia, i feel, have given all they can give but i have so much more to show. I have come this far and i think i can make it all the way.
[edit]
Sorry i didn't post within the time.. Nature Called.. :blush2:
James
07-04-2009, 08:27 PM
Now this is tricky... I don't know who did what. :tongue: Most of the discussions seem to have happened off-forum.
I preferred the Outside the Box story btw, I think it was pretty well written, so as I said difficult decision...
Nicky.
07-04-2009, 08:33 PM
Good luck everyone, you did well getting this far... sucks it's a double TBH!
Also, that's a fair opinion James :3
Apologies for the wait :tongue:
Nicky.
07-04-2009, 08:43 PM
Anything interesting in the Football thread? Chinese Whispers? Maybe pointless celebs?, James?
Locke.
07-04-2009, 08:45 PM
Originally posted by Nickyy
Anything interesting in the Football thread? Chinese Whispers? Maybe pointless celebs?, James?
Man Utd 2-2 Porto
Verrrrrrrrrrrrrrry interesting
Nicky.
07-04-2009, 08:46 PM
Originally posted by Locke
Originally posted by Nickyy
Anything interesting in the Football thread? Chinese Whispers? Maybe pointless celebs?, James?
Man Utd 2-2 Porto
Verrrrrrrrrrrrrrry interesting
Fascinating..
James
07-04-2009, 08:47 PM
Okay, think I am going to have to go on the previous tasks...
Well hurry up and go on something
James
07-04-2009, 08:50 PM
I don't know lol.
Instead of which 2 do you want to sack, which one do you want to save? :tongue:
Nicky.
07-04-2009, 08:52 PM
HAHA!
*sets up camp*
Loukas
07-04-2009, 08:53 PM
*sits in boardroom twiddling fingers*
:whistle:
Loukas
07-04-2009, 08:55 PM
Originally posted by Nickyy
HAHA!
*sets up camp*
OI. Thats My Joke :lovedup:
Sir Alans getting a big old now... needs more time to think :tongue:
Anyone for voluntary firing? Sam?
Sam has sent me a u2u saying he would like to automatically be fired. That's nice of him :tongue:
joke.
I personally have no idea how ours is the most unoriginal. But whatever. I was pessimistic for this one, I didn't wanna be let down if we lost again. Lucky I was pessimisitic. Ey.
MarkWaldorf
07-04-2009, 08:59 PM
Originally posted by Tom
Well hurry up and go on something
http://i39.tinypic.com/2ni5gup.gif
James
07-04-2009, 08:59 PM
Sorry for the delay.
Okay here's the decisions, don't blame if it is the wrong one because you decided everything on MSN as far as I can see.
I don't even know who wrote what, as I said I did think your story was well written, a character piece rather than focusing on pure story.
Based on how much leadership has been shown so far in the contest and the contributions out of the three in the tasks I think Sia and Sam possibly deserve to stay more so...
Loukas you're fired.
Okay second to be fired, I guess with the problem with the task discussions not being on the forum, but flip of the coin probably...
Sam you're fired.
Good luck with the next task, and use the forum for task discussion instead of MSN.
Originally posted by James
Now this is tricky... I don't know who did what. :tongue: Most of the discussions seem to have happened off-forum.
I preferred the Outside the Box story btw, I think it was pretty well written, so as I said difficult decision...
Why didn't James decide who wonn!!
R.I.P Team Fetch (original members :tongue:)
Its been fun :joker:
Well done Sia. Sia you better bloody win. You and Nicky are the only decent ones left. :thumbs: [Nicky prove Sam wrong and beat him yeh!]
Nicky.
07-04-2009, 09:03 PM
Because then you would have won Sam :tongue:
You did well guys, well done on getting this far :) xx
Thank you James.
So, Loukas and Sam have left the competition. Unfortunately, this means that all of the original Team Fetch members have now been fired.
For the next task, the two teams will be transformed into The Oinks Party and The Fetch Party as they compete to win TiBB's inaugural Moderator Elections.
The search for the Apprentice continues!
From outside the Apprentice boardroom, I'm Matt... goodnight!
Nicky.
07-04-2009, 09:05 PM
Originally posted by Sam!
Well done Sia. Sia you better bl***y win. You and Nicky are the only decent ones left. :thumbs: [Nicky prove Sam wrong and beat him yeh!]
Aww fankoo :spin: :tongue:
Will try my best to beat 'em all :angel: :tongue:
Originally posted by Sam!
Well done Sia. Sia you better bl***y win. You and Nicky are the only decent ones left. :thumbs: [Nicky prove Sam wrong and beat him yeh!]
http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/thumb_360/1233521142dodpCR.jpg
Originally posted by Snig
Originally posted by Sam!
Well done Sia. Sia you better bl***y win. You and Nicky are the only decent ones left. :thumbs: [Nicky prove Sam wrong and beat him yeh!]
http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/thumb_360/1233521142dodpCR.jpg
Lovely. :thumbs:
Lewis.
07-04-2009, 09:12 PM
What does the winner get?
Originally posted by Matt
Thank you James.
So, Loukas and Sam have left the competition. Unfortunately, this means that all of the original Team Fetch members have now been fired.
For the next task, the two teams will be transformed into The Oinks Party and The Fetch Party as they compete to win TiBB's inaugural Moderator Elections.
The search for the Apprentice continues!
From outside the Apprentice boardroom, I'm Matt... goodnight!
Fetch is being unofficially rebranded as "Oinkiers"
SiaSiaSia
07-04-2009, 09:13 PM
argh oh my god
i love the fact magic thinks i plagiarized one of my favourite books when it was supposed to be an element for audiences who HAD read the book to relate to :whistle: i guess that didn't come across and it looked like we'd copied
i'm not surprised we lost because as soon as i saw the other teams i'd knew we were gonners. [see shaun's post]. still. :(
i can't believe I'm through when i wasn't even here i'm sorry
argh i feel like guilty :(
uhm
uhm thanks for everyone who said they liked how it was written i guess
Well done Sia. you deserve it :) You wrote all the brilliant bits and our story was brilliantly damn well written. Even James thought we should have won. Go on to win please :thumbs:
MarkWaldorf
07-04-2009, 09:16 PM
Originally posted by Snig
Originally posted by Sam!
Well done Sia. Sia you better bl***y win. You and Nicky are the only decent ones left. :thumbs: [Nicky prove Sam wrong and beat him yeh!]
http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/thumb_360/1233521142dodpCR.jpg
http://i42.tinypic.com/wv98nl.gif
Locke.
07-04-2009, 09:17 PM
Originally posted by Lewis:)
What does the winner get?
One thousand TiBB dollars.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Originally posted by MarkWaldorf
Originally posted by Snig
Originally posted by Sam!
Well done Sia. Sia you better bl***y win. You and Nicky are the only decent ones left. :thumbs: [Nicky prove Sam wrong and beat him yeh!]
http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/thumb_360/1233521142dodpCR.jpg
http://i42.tinypic.com/wv98nl.gif
:laugh:
Originally posted by Snig
Originally posted by Sam!
Originally posted by MarkWaldorf
Originally posted by Snig
Originally posted by Sam!
Well done Sia. Sia you better bl***y win. You and Nicky are the only decent ones left. :thumbs: [Nicky prove Sam wrong and beat him yeh!]
http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/thumb_360/1233521142dodpCR.jpg
http://i42.tinypic.com/wv98nl.gif
:laugh:
http://blogs.houstonpress.com/ballz/gtfo500.jpg
Christ your funny!! :thumbs:
Originally posted by Sam!
Originally posted by Snig
Originally posted by Sam!
Originally posted by MarkWaldorf
Originally posted by Snig
Originally posted by Sam!
Well done Sia. Sia you better bl***y win. You and Nicky are the only decent ones left. :thumbs: [Nicky prove Sam wrong and beat him yeh!]
http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/thumb_360/1233521142dodpCR.jpg
http://i42.tinypic.com/wv98nl.gif
:laugh:
http://blogs.houstonpress.com/ballz/gtfo500.jpg
Christ your funny!! :thumbs:
and you're fired
Originally posted by Snig
Originally posted by Sam!
Originally posted by Snig
Originally posted by Sam!
Originally posted by MarkWaldorf
Originally posted by Snig
Originally posted by Sam!
Well done Sia. Sia you better bl***y win. You and Nicky are the only decent ones left. :thumbs: [Nicky prove Sam wrong and beat him yeh!]
http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/thumb_360/1233521142dodpCR.jpg
http://i42.tinypic.com/wv98nl.gif
:laugh:
http://blogs.houstonpress.com/ballz/gtfo500.jpg
Christ your funny!! :thumbs:
and you're fired
Mark.. I think we've ran out of tumbleweeds
Shaun
07-04-2009, 09:32 PM
I thought I posted something haha, maybe not. Hard luck Sam and Loukas :( and well done Sia! Lmao @ James flipping a coin - I'd LOVE SAS to do that one week. Only with candidates I don't like, mind.
Good luck to the four remaining. I like you all, but Sia or Tom to win <3
And pfft Tom, all team Fetch members got the "You're Fired!" crowds' support. Particularly me - I didn't get one red "FIRED" sign.
Besides, you'll just be the rubbish runner-up and then appear on I'm A TiBLebrity, Get Me Out Of Here, before being lined up for the new Iceland ads. :)
Originally posted by Picto
I thought I posted something haha, maybe not. Hard luck Sam and Loukas :( and well done Sia! Lmao @ James flipping a coin - I'd LOVE SAS to do that one week. Only with candidates I don't like, mind.
Good luck to the four remaining. I like you all, but Sia or Tom to win <3
And pfft Tom, all team Fetch members got the "You're Fired!" crowds' support. Particularly me - I didn't get one red "FIRED" sign.
Besides, you'll just be the rubbish runner-up and then appear on I'm A TiBLebrity, Get Me Out Of Here, before being lined up for the new Iceland ads. :)
I'd never stoop that low, although I wouldn't rule out an appearance on TiBB Does Dancing on Ice
vBulletin® v3.8.11, Copyright ©2000-2025, vBulletin Solutions Inc.