Crap jokes that make you laugh... [Archive] - ThisisBigBrother.com

MrGaryy

30-05-2009, 07:17 PM

Originally posted by hannah.
Originally posted by MrGaryy
i have one but it's a tad racist.

go

Why did man create white chocolate?
so black children can have dirty faces.

Firewire

30-05-2009, 07:17 PM

Originally posted by Harry.
Originally posted by Stu
Why does Snoop Dogg have an umbrella?

Fo'Drizzle!

Don't get it :puzzled:

Snoop Dogg says a lot of 'izzle' words.

Drizzle is light rain.

Umbrella? Rain?

Fo'Drizzle

Harry!

30-05-2009, 07:18 PM

Originally posted by Firewire
Originally posted by Harry.
Originally posted by Stu
Why does Snoop Dogg have an umbrella?

Fo'Drizzle!

Don't get it :puzzled:

Snoop Dogg says a lot of 'izzle' words.

Drizzle is light rain.

Umbrella? Rain?

Fo'Drizzle

Oh I get it now!

Stu

30-05-2009, 07:21 PM

Bruce Lee wants what for Christmas?

ATOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Rory

30-05-2009, 07:24 PM

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef!

VicKyyKciV

30-05-2009, 07:26 PM

Why did the one eyed chicken cross the road? to get to the bird eye shop :laugh2:

Stu

30-05-2009, 07:31 PM

Quality stuff from everybody so far. Keep them coming.

Anyway ... say ... what do you call something white that cant climb a tree?

A fridge.

VicKyyKciV

30-05-2009, 07:34 PM

When is a virgin not a virgin, when a virgin meets a virgina :cheer2:

GhettoSuperstar

30-05-2009, 07:48 PM

Originally posted by VicKyyKciV
When is a virgin not a virgin, when a virgin meets a virgina :cheer2:

LMAO!

Stu

30-05-2009, 07:51 PM

An Irish family were found frozen to death outside of a cinema one December. They were lining up for 'closed for three weeks'.

Beastie

30-05-2009, 07:54 PM

what do you call a bird that was hit by a combine harvester????

SHREDDED TWEET

Stu

30-05-2009, 07:55 PM

D is for Lysdexia

VicKyyKciV

30-05-2009, 07:56 PM

What happens when you cross a bitch with a bastard? a ****ing real bastard bitch :cheer2:

Beastie

30-05-2009, 07:57 PM

a skinny person who sees a fat person in the mirror.. their aim is to become......

ANOREXICALLY PLEASING

VicKyyKciV

30-05-2009, 07:58 PM

Originally posted by bbfanatic
a skinny person who sees a fat person in the mirror.. their aim is to become......

ANOREXICALLY PLEASING

Thats really funny and sick to lo

GhettoSuperstar

30-05-2009, 08:00 PM

Too much WKD makes you FKD.

Beastie

30-05-2009, 08:00 PM

yeah.. because i always think of the word.. "aesthetically pleasing"

and then in my mind came.. "anorexically pleasing"

lol

Stu

30-05-2009, 11:16 PM

What's the difference between jam, marmalade & butter?

You can't marmalade your cock up someone's arse.

Tom

31-05-2009, 01:29 AM

Originally posted by GhettoSuperstar
Too much WKD makes you FKD.

WKD is rank. They always make me sick

Stu

31-05-2009, 06:34 AM

WKD is the best crap joke of this thread thus far.

Lauren

31-05-2009, 06:58 AM

Whats big and grey?

A carpark.

Wait that didn't even make me laugh.

Stu

31-05-2009, 11:33 AM

Micahel Jackson is home teaching his son to masturbate :

''Gee whizz daddy! This is great!''

''Hoo-ooh yes! And when your eighteen you can use your own cock!''

Lauren

31-05-2009, 11:34 AM

Originally posted by Stu
Micahel Jackson is home teaching his son to masturbate :

''Gee whizz daddy! This is great!''

''Hoo-ooh yes! And when your eighteen you can use your own cock!''

Pmsfl. I lol'd.

Noel

31-05-2009, 11:36 AM

Originally posted by Stu
An Irish family were found frozen to death outside of a cinema one December. They were lining up for 'closed for three weeks'.
¬__¬

SiaSiaSia

31-05-2009, 11:55 AM

Originally posted by Stu
An Irish family were found frozen to death outside of a cinema one December. They were lining up for 'closed for three weeks'.

HAAAAAAAAAAAhahahahahaha

Noel

31-05-2009, 11:55 AM

Originally posted by SiaSiaSia
Originally posted by Stu
An Irish family were found frozen to death outside of a cinema one December. They were lining up for 'closed for three weeks'.

HAAAAAAAAAAAhahahahahaha
¬__¬

DamonJ

31-05-2009, 12:00 PM

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Noel

31-05-2009, 12:02 PM

LMAO Damon.
Hmm what have I got..?
Oooh I made this one up when I was like 12!

What do you wash a dog with?

.....................Shampoodle!

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA

DamonJ

31-05-2009, 12:03 PM

Originally posted by Bradley!
LMAO Damon.
Hmm what have I got..?
Oooh I made this one up when I was like 12!

What do you wash a dog with?

.....................Shampoodle!

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA

LMFAOOOOO

What was the hippy's wife called?

Missisipi

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Noel

31-05-2009, 12:05 PM

LMFAO!
I'm gonna remember that one LOL

Fom

31-05-2009, 12:06 PM

Whats white and falls from trees?

Fridges

Whats white with blue stripes and falls from trees?

Fridges wearing pajamas...

30stone

31-05-2009, 12:06 PM

Originally posted by Bradley!
Originally posted by Stu
An Irish family were found frozen to death outside of a cinema one December. They were lining up for 'closed for three weeks'.
¬__¬

Irishman goes into the job centre and says "ive been phoning the number on your window 08001730 for 2 ****ing weeks and no one has answered"

"08001730 is the ****ing opening times."

Okay it wasn't that funny but only Irish joke ive heard in a while.

DamonJ

31-05-2009, 12:07 PM

Originally posted by Fom
Whats white and falls from trees?

Fridges

Whats white with blue stripes and falls from trees?

Fridges wearing pajamas...

Why would fridges fall from trees? :sad:

Noel

31-05-2009, 12:10 PM

Originally posted by 30stone
Originally posted by Bradley!
Originally posted by Stu
An Irish family were found frozen to death outside of a cinema one December. They were lining up for 'closed for three weeks'.
¬__¬

Irishman goes into the job centre and says "ive been phoning the number on your window 08001730 for 2 ****ing weeks and no one has answered"

"08001730 is the ****ing opening times."

Okay it wasn't that funny but only Irish joke ive heard in a while.

LMAO that is funny, but I don't get why it's an Irishman? lol. Was it just a random nationality? :wink:

Fom

31-05-2009, 12:12 PM

Originally posted by DamonJ
Originally posted by Fom
Whats white and falls from trees?

Fridges

Whats white with blue stripes and falls from trees?

Fridges wearing pajamas...

Why would fridges fall from trees? :sad:

Thats the whole point, the person told me, and it was so random and rubbish I was in hysterics.

Noel

31-05-2009, 12:16 PM

What's pink and fluffy?
Pink fluff.

What's blue and fluffy?
Pink fluff holding its breath.

DamonJ

31-05-2009, 12:16 PM

Originally posted by Fom
Originally posted by DamonJ
Originally posted by Fom
Whats white and falls from trees?

Fridges

Whats white with blue stripes and falls from trees?

Fridges wearing pajamas...

Why would fridges fall from trees? :sad:

Thats the whole point, the person told me, and it was so random and rubbish I was in hysterics.

Oh. :blush2: lol

Fom

31-05-2009, 12:17 PM

Originally posted by Bradley!
What's pink and fluffy?
Pink fluff.

What's blue and fluffy?
Pink fluff holding its breath.

I freaking love that joke

Whats red and fluffy?

Angry pink fluff hahaha

Beastie

31-05-2009, 12:18 PM

i was going to tell you a joke about butter...

but it might spread!!!! lol

30stone

31-05-2009, 12:19 PM

Originally posted by Bradley!
Originally posted by 30stone
Originally posted by Bradley!
Originally posted by Stu
An Irish family were found frozen to death outside of a cinema one December. They were lining up for 'closed for three weeks'.
¬__¬

Irishman goes into the job centre and says "ive been phoning the number on your window 08001730 for 2 ****ing weeks and no one has answered"

"08001730 is the ****ing opening times."

Okay it wasn't that funny but only Irish joke ive heard in a while.

LMAO that is funny, but I don't get why it's an Irishman? lol. Was it just a random nationality? :wink:

Yeh my dads side of the family is northern irish so he always gets northern irish/ irish jokes sent to him by his mates and he does the same back etc.

Harry!

31-05-2009, 12:20 PM

Why did the baker bake more bread?

He kneaded the dough.

lily.

31-05-2009, 12:22 PM

Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac?

He sat up all night wondering if there was a dog.

Noel

31-05-2009, 12:22 PM

Originally posted by 30stone
Originally posted by Bradley!
Originally posted by 30stone
Originally posted by Bradley!
Originally posted by Stu
An Irish family were found frozen to death outside of a cinema one December. They were lining up for 'closed for three weeks'.
¬__¬

Irishman goes into the job centre and says "ive been phoning the number on your window 08001730 for 2 ****ing weeks and no one has answered"

"08001730 is the ****ing opening times."

Okay it wasn't that funny but only Irish joke ive heard in a while.

LMAO that is funny, but I don't get why it's an Irishman? lol. Was it just a random nationality? :wink:

Yeh my dads side of the family is northern irish so he always gets northern irish/ irish jokes sent to him by his mates and he does the same back etc.

Lol, I love Irish jokes, espec. the ones about us being drunk and all. :love:

lily.

31-05-2009, 12:22 PM

Originally posted by Stu
What's the difference between jam, marmalade & butter?

You can't marmalade your cock up someone's arse.

That's the best one in this thread so far... I LoLed ... a lot!

Noel

31-05-2009, 12:23 PM

Originally posted by Fom
Originally posted by Bradley!
What's pink and fluffy?
Pink fluff.

What's blue and fluffy?
Pink fluff holding its breath.

I freaking love that joke

Whats red and fluffy?

Angry pink fluff hahaha

LMAOO.
What's green and fluffy?
Sick pink fluff..

did I just ruin it?

Lauren

31-05-2009, 12:24 PM

Originally posted by lili
Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac?

He sat up all night wondering if there was a dog.

L O L.

Harry!

31-05-2009, 12:24 PM

Why do fish live in saltwater?

Pepper makes them sneeze.

NettoSuperstar!

04-06-2009, 12:42 PM

Originally posted by lili
Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac?

He sat up all night wondering if there was a dog.

heheh like it!

Stu

04-06-2009, 12:46 PM

Originally posted by Harry.
Why do fish live in saltwater?

Pepper makes them sneeze.
The title of the thread is crap jokes that make you laugh...

NettoSuperstar!

04-06-2009, 12:50 PM

Ok this is daft but I like it

baby balloon is scared one night so he gets into bed with mummy balloon and daddy balloon but theres not much room so baby balloon lets a bit of air out of daddy balloon, theres still not much room so he lets a bit of air out of mummy balloon, theres still no room so he lets a bit of air out of himself....this carries on till hes got enough room and he goes to sleep....In the morning hes woken up by his dad shouting "LOOK what you've gone and done! You've let me down, you've let your mother down, and most of all you've let yourself down!!"

xorhianxo

04-06-2009, 01:01 PM

" Teacher asks her class to use a sentence with the word contagious.
Mary puts up her hand and said my brother had chickenpox and there very contagioius. Tim puts up his hand and says my gran said theres a bug going around and its contagious. Little johnny puts up his hand and say my next door neighbours painting the garden fence with a 4 inch brush an my dad says it'l take the cuntagious

30stone

04-06-2009, 01:06 PM

Teacher asks posh girl to use the word improper in a sentance,

She says " my dad was digging up potatoes in the garden with a spade that was improper he should have been using a fork "

Teacher says " thank you " then asks the more tarty girl to use the word improper in a sentance.

She Says " when me and my boyfried were having sex last night and his balls were slapping against my ass i knew he was in proper "

Damn.Sophie

29-06-2009, 05:12 PM

*mazedsalv**

29-06-2009, 05:17 PM

Knock Knock
Who's There?
Justin
Justin who?
Just In Time for Tea

When I heard that I laughedm for 10 continious minutes.

Jayson

29-06-2009, 05:26 PM

There were 3 men that found a magic slide, when you went down it all you had to do was shout your wish and you would land in it at the bottom.
The first man shouted "MONEY!", and landed in millions of pounds.
The second man shouted "WOMEN!" and landed in a pile of women.
The third man shouted "WEEEEEEE!!!".

A blonde suspects her hubby fooling around. She follows him to his misteress's house one day, busts open the door and puts the gun to her own head.
Her husband says, "Please honey, dont do this!".
"Shut up" she says. "You're next!".

Why did the pervert cross the road?
He couldn't get his cock out of the chicken.

Jayson

29-06-2009, 05:42 PM

Why did the french cat win the swimming race?
Because the un, deax, trois, quatre, cinq.

Jayson

29-06-2009, 05:44 PM

Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea-weed.

Jayson

29-06-2009, 05:45 PM

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other?
Eileen.

Jayson

29-06-2009, 05:46 PM

Whats the difference between Kerry Katona and Jordan?
About 8 pints.

Jayson

29-06-2009, 05:47 PM

Whats got 75 balls and screws old ladies?
Bingo.

Jayson

29-06-2009, 05:49 PM

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. 'What the hell is this?' says the barman. 'Some kind of joke?'.

Jayson

29-06-2009, 05:50 PM

What do you call an Aardvark thats just been beaten up?
A vark.

Jayson

29-06-2009, 05:54 PM

What can you say to a married man who's just had sex with his wife?
Anything, he's asleep.

Jayson

29-06-2009, 05:56 PM

Two buckets of sick are walking along one day when one of them stops and starts crying. The other bucket says, 'What on earth is the matter?'. The cry-baby bucket of sick replies 'I was brought up in that alley'.

Lewis.

29-06-2009, 06:00 PM

I have a racist one and Feel Bad for Saying it. I am not Racist but I couldn't help laughing a little. God, I feel so mean!

What do Black Men and Bikes have in common?

They both work with a chain on them.

Watches Karma Decrease.