Me when a rather portly white man with his belly protruding out of his 'Texas Forever' shirt starts making casual conversation while I'm waiting in line to pay for my item

Austin looks gorgeous, I can't wait to visit her.

Here for it!

I'm avoiding anyone over 40 in Texas in fear they're staunch conservative, religious, racist PIGS!

I'm actually really upset about this actually.

Makes sense.

This is why I wish I could go in October when the weather's better and not as crowded because everyone would be in school. :/

Teachers may get more holidays but they're fixed and the times are SHYTE!

Why don't you like it?

That's the one we were thinking of visiting while we're in San Antonio, but we haven't booked it yet.

I know there's more than one in Texas but that's the only one close to our route

Don't COME FOR me!

Nah, we were thinking of visiting the one in Dallas but we're going to Magic Moutain in California instead because people have said it's better than the two parks in Texas.

We're going to Schlitterbahn theaux