..yeah, I'm cool thanks...is this the one that you wanted with the admin fee or have you found somewhere else..is it nice/just what you want...

..how are you Miss Ceecee..how's the flat hunting going..?...

.....

..episode 4 tomorrow LOL...

..oh sorry (episode 3 because I forgot to say something..)...the reality of it is that it's the opposite and you're his fantasy girl because he could never keep someone like you, he could only have you for a short while and then you'd figure out what a loser he was...so he had his little fantasy of fooling himself and trying to believe he was good enough..so let him try and get over his fantasy girl and his 'perfection' and get along with his problems and insecurities because he will never have you...let someone else hurt him because they will and through his own fault and ego and it'll be nothing to you because you'll be smiling and happy with your less than perfect person, who makes you feel more than perfect...everything you are is everything he's not and everything he doesn't deserve....oh, maybe I did already say that..I talk too much...ya'll have a great day.....

..episode 2...

.......of course he couldn't have you in reality, he's just not that special..guys like him are everywhere, you could have one today, tomorrow..anytime..but that's not what you want is it...and I know it hurts but the positive is that every day takes you a step away from someone who hurt you and closer to someone who won't..someone who won't be 'perfect' because no one is...but he'll make you feel perfect and the most beautiful lady in the world because you'll see yourself through his eyes and how much he loves you and everything he does will be for you and to make you happy, without a thought to himself...now that's someone who really does take a lot of getting over, but the beautiful thing is that you won't have to because your hearts will beat together..(lol corny..)..

..you have a good day beautiful girl.....

..ok this will have to be a part 1 and 2, almost like a series because it won't fit on your wall...so part 1...


..it will probably take a long time because 'perfection' is a hard thing to let go of..it's like a crush, when you never get to know the reality of that person and how boringly ordinary they are..but not just that, they are selfish and only care about their own ego, without thought of the person who they're hurting because that person is real and that person's heart is everything that theirs isn't..in reality, you would never give your heart to someone like that but he's fooled you into thinking he's someone he's not just to make himself feel better and less ordinary because he should be so lucky that he could ever make you happy or ever have someone like you in his life because it wouldn't take long before you saw the real him and you would have kicked him out of that door in a heartbeat...(to be continued..)....

..hey you, I'm going offline in a minute because I have work tomorrow but what I wanted to say was, it's so really normal Ceecee but the only reason you feel this way is because he wasn't 'yours' so in your head he's perfect..you never got to see the faults in the same way that you would have if he was yours..his smelly breath, selfish ways, toenail clipping in your fajitas..in your head you know he was far, far from perfect because if he was any where near that he wouldn't have let you feel this deeply..you know that..he was selfish to do that and Ceecee, you could never be happy with a selfish guy...your heart is trying to trick you into believing he was something he wasn't because maybe you're ready to meet someone else ..and when you do, and when he treats you like you deserve, you'll realise that this feeling doesn't compare at all to that..I promise you....Ceecee, what you need right now is Chaka Khan...

..flat hunting is the worst and just so expensive because you want to live somewhere reasonable and not a horrible place...has there been much to look at that you can afford..?...