..isn't it strange to thing that it's not that long ago that things like post natal depression/clinical depression/PMT etc were things that people were sent to asylums for and sometimes, for the rest of their lives...?../I will look out for the programme, I do find it fascinating as well, Ruby...typical behaviour patterns etc...and how people can see all of their strengths as weaknesses because of hat is projected back onto them by others..and it can be a life long thing of low self esteem/lack of confidence for that person...

..hawww, that sounds like a perfect day, Ruby.....I should have planned some stuff for today that I need to get done this week but I haven't yet, I'm being a bit of a rebel this week and so far have done little of anything/it's a slug life...

..you need to have a little selfishness to be able to stop it, it's need even selfishness Ruby, it's self-preservation..everyone needs to self preserve to be able to be the things that they need to be for others in their lives, if we don't self preserve then how can we be anything..?...we would just run completely dry and crumble...your decisions in life Ruby have always been right and what you've believed to be the best, you know that/you feel that..anything else is just judgement and total silliness.....if you're weird Ruby then weird is a great thing to be....

..I think that you're anything but weird, Ruby...I think that you have the most huge heart and you feel so deeply the things in life that others project on to you/you believe them to be true, so you don't realise your strengths in who you are/I think that you see your strengths and your beauty as weaknesses in yourself ..because that's what others make you feel /people stripping you away, stripping your self belief away and that's so, so sad for someone who is such a caring and loving person...I've seen how you talk about your children/your past etc and all I see is the strongest of people, an admirable person/a selfless person...and it's because you are all of those things, that it's easy for people to project negative stuff on to you..and that's hard for you to stop from happening....

...there may be times like that where you have to see them because of them being family, you went because you felt that you should even though you weren't close...not everyone would have done that Ruby, by no means would they...you did because you're you and very much a worthwhile person and very much someone who is committed to family and so much so that all of your decisions have been for your children..so these days will come every now and then and you'll go and you'll feel a little like this because others are projecting onto you/a guilt on to you that is so, so misplaced...don't ever absorb that Ruby and think anything negative about yourself because it's their emotions to project and it's their emotions to keep to themselves, none of it belongs with you and you believe that because it's true...hug your children and know that you're a very selfless and unique person who only ever thinks of others...

...awww Ruby....if your family is fragmented and you don't see members of it then it's because it's been your choice in that because you felt it was the best thing for you and your own family, you're all the most important people and you know that, which is why you've made your decisions and which is why they've been totally the right decisions out of love and caring and out of being one of the most worthwhile person yourself and the most worthwhile mother, to do anything else is not something that would have ever given you any sense of worth at all...to do things for other people/try to please other people and their wants or what they think would be right, would have just made you the most unhappy person for your whole life..and why..?...for those that don't mean as much to you than your children, would those people/members of your extended family have given you any sense of worth, anything you deserve..would they have made you feel good about yourself in any way..?...no Ruby...

...Ruby.........you ok..?...

..Merry Christmas lovely Rubymoo.....