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Ninastar 07-04-2012 12:36 AM

I wish that schools were okay about victims fighting back against bullies. I think that humiliation or pain is the only way to wake them up from their behaviour, but it can only be from the person that is being bullied. I think a lot of the time victims are afraid of what will happen to them trouble wise.

Boothy 07-04-2012 12:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jords (Post 5066436)
I have not used violence and solved my bully problems piece of piss, they dont like it when you can take it and look unbothered and especially when you can give them sh!t back.

It's different when it's you though, I think. If someone was bullying me, no way would I resort to violence, I wouldn't need to. I know how to handle myself. If an older lad started bullying my sister though to the point where she was crying and was afraid to tell my mum, different story.

King Gizzard 07-04-2012 12:38 AM

it depend though..not every bully is going to walk off and cry if they're given some back, it could intensify

it depends on what kind of person this guy is

Jords 07-04-2012 12:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Boothy (Post 5066442)
It's different when it's you though, I think. If someone was bullying me, no way would I resort to violence, I wouldn't need to. I know how to handle myself. If an older lad started bullying my sister though to the point where she was crying and was afraid to tell my mum, different story.

Id be the same about my bro but they have to learnt to stick up for themselves, and because they are younger as Ben said, wed look like the bullies.

Jords 07-04-2012 12:39 AM

Could fancy your sister?

Pyramid* 07-04-2012 12:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam:) (Post 5066432)
I know people are saying "omg no violence, it's bad" but as a bullying victim and a big brother I can pretty much confirm that words won't work...

Also as a brother I would kill anyone who made my sister cry....

I can pretty much confirm Sam that violence in retribution will offer only to inflame the situation and bring about others sticking their nebs in - like the bullies pals, then before you know it - it's got out of hand.

Best advice that has been given by several is that mum dad need to be told - and if the police are involved along the line: then it's falling into an area that any action / words taken are best coming from the police.

Maia 07-04-2012 12:40 AM

Urgh I really do not understand why people like that feel the need to bully others, it's just unnecessary.

I dunno what to suggest. As others have said, don't resort to violence as that could spring up a whole load of other problems, and all I can say is I've been through what your sister has been through in the past and it really crushes you inside, I had to manage it on my own by cutting myself off completely from those people. I could've done with support but when you go through it you just feel too scared to tell anyone so you keep it to yourself. It's a nightmare.

Ninastar 07-04-2012 12:40 AM

Teachers should be able to embarrass bullies. I think if they feel like an idiot when they pick on someone in class, it would stop them. Certain teachers deal better with it than others. The ones that ignore it are the worst

Brother Leon 07-04-2012 12:40 AM

Thanks for the replies. You cleared my mind abit at least.

Love you guys man.


The annoying thing is that it is Easter, So I would have to wait more than a week to have a meeting with a teacher. I might have to persuade her to be brave enough to at least tell mum. Or tell her some ways to try make him back off.


I'm 19 to the people that asked.

Ramsay 07-04-2012 12:42 AM

My brother was once getting bullied so i told the guy if he goes near him again i'll break his legs...i get in deep deep **** because he told aload of teachers that i said i'd stab him..but he left him alone after that so maybe you should try that...teachers tried to make me say sorry to him and i actually told them to **** off:joker:

Jords 07-04-2012 12:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ninastar (Post 5066452)
Teachers should be able to embarrass bullies. I think if they feel like an idiot when they pick on someone in class, it would stop them. Certain teachers deal better with it than others. The ones that ignore it are the worst

Thing is the bully friends will just snigger with them whilst they are being 'embarrassed' and they think theyre being really clever.

Benjamin 07-04-2012 12:42 AM

No worries KA. Hope all works out for her, bless her.

King Gizzard 07-04-2012 12:42 AM

In the meantime I'd just spend alot of time with her..make sure she has someone to turn to so she doesn't feel she's alone at any stage..do lots of stuff with her so she has something to look forward to

bbfan1991 07-04-2012 12:42 AM

Some bullies are sly e.g. if they are bullying someone and they know that the person has older siblings then they will suck up to the sibling to annoy the victim, especially if the victim has not got the courage to speak out.

Boothy 07-04-2012 12:44 AM

Yeah, good luck KA. Hope you manage to get it sorted.

Pyramid* 07-04-2012 12:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by King_Anton (Post 5066454)
Thanks for the replies. You cleared my mind abit at least.

Love you guys man.


The annoying thing is that it is Easter, So I would have to wait more than a week to have a meeting with a teacher. I might have to persuade her to be brave enough to at least tell mum. Or tell her some ways to try make him back off.


I'm 19 to the people that asked.

the hardest part for your little sister would have been admitting this: that's half the battle over with in that respect but she will be naturally worried also now about the reparcussions of telling someone and how that might affect her when the bully finds out.

Lots of support and people inthe right places knowing about it - and her being able to feel safe, secure and be assured that she is being taken seriously and that they (ie; teachers etc) are there for her.

Jords 07-04-2012 12:45 AM

Good luck pal.

Ninastar 07-04-2012 12:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jords (Post 5066461)
Thing is the bully friends will just snigger with them whilst they are being 'embarrassed' and they think theyre being really clever.

I think that they know deep down that their behaviour is stupid. They think it makes them look all big and macho but calling them out and calling them immature is what they hate.

Detention doesn't work, I think you have to use mind games with them

Z 07-04-2012 12:47 AM

I had one great teacher who was really friendly to us less popular kids, the ones who actually tried in class, compared to the dicks who would sit at the back and throw **** around the classroom.. and this boy in my class had an older sister who was also a bit of an oddball and there was some ridiculous story floating around that she'd had a sexual encounter with two guys and a hockey stick... anyway, these girls were speaking about it really loudly and obviously embarrassing the poor guy and the teacher just cut them down in class so badly and asked them how they'd feel if the whole class spoke about their sex lives in such graphic detail right there and then, and it shut the whole back row up and they didn't say a thing for the rest of the lesson, nor did they ever say anything about that boy or his family ever again in class.

That's maybe just a rare example but I will never forget that lesson, I don't know if it was professional or not but I certainly respected my teacher even more so after that and I'm sure that the boy appreciated it more than anything.

CharlieO 07-04-2012 12:47 AM

Make sure you deal with your sister before the bully. Try give her a feeling of utter and true acceptance. Try build her confidence and make her know that nothing anyone say's can affect her true self and shouldn't.

Then try tackle the bullying. Often people come out of bullying stronger people, or they can become bullies themselves. Make sure she realises that she is targeted because she is special, because she is worth it, and because they can feel she is a threat/better than them. If she comes out of this stronger it will not have all been a bad thing. A girls confidence can be destroyed though so I think the main issue should be quickly rebuilding it.

I wouldn't suggest at all resorting to violence though.

Brother Leon 07-04-2012 12:48 AM

One of her teachers was my form Tutor and we always had a good relationship etc and I know he's a great person to help her out. I could probably go with her to at least tell him as he's handled so many issues like it back when I was in school. This week is going to be so long though.

Patrick 07-04-2012 12:48 AM

Corner him, and threaten him. Don't hit him.

Ninastar 07-04-2012 12:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zee (Post 5066478)
I had one great teacher who was really friendly to us less popular kids, the ones who actually tried in class, compared to the dicks who would sit at the back and throw **** around the classroom.. and this boy in my class had an older sister who was also a bit of an oddball and there was some ridiculous story floating around that she'd had a sexual encounter with two guys and a hockey stick... anyway, these girls were speaking about it really loudly and obviously embarrassing the poor guy and the teacher just cut them down in class so badly and asked them how they'd feel if the whole class spoke about their sex lives in such graphic detail right there and then, and it shut the whole back row up and they didn't say a thing for the rest of the lesson, nor did they ever say anything about that boy or his family ever again in class.

That's maybe just a rare example but I will never forget that lesson, I don't know if it was professional or not but I certainly respected my teacher even more so after that and I'm sure that the boy appreciated it more than anything.

See this is what I mean. Teacher should be allowed to knock these assholes down. Obviously not all the time, it'd loose the affect, but when you embarrass the kid and they have nothing to say it's the worst thing in the world for them

bbfan1991 07-04-2012 12:49 AM

Counselling would be a good idea if she wanted to after having the courage to speak out.

A few people I know from the College I used to go to had personal issues and it really helped them out.

Z 07-04-2012 12:51 AM

Yeah I agree with Charlie - while the bully might be a total dick, he's not going to be sitting at home crying his eyes out about what he's saying. Your sister is the main priority here. I don't know what he's been saying about her but I can imagine it will be the kind of thing that makes her doubt herself, maybe even hate herself - don't let that happen. Reassure her that she's better than the bully, that she's pretty, she's smart and all of the other great qualities that she surely is and convince her she doesn't deserve to hear any less. And keep at it. Maybe get a couple of your friends to do it too without letting your sister know you've told them. It's amazing what compliments from other people can do for your self esteem!


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