the hardest part for your little sister would have been admitting this: that's half the battle over with in that respect but she will be naturally worried also now about the reparcussions of telling someone and how that might affect her when the bully finds out.

Lots of support and people inthe right places knowing about it - and her being able to feel safe, secure and be assured that she is being taken seriously and that they (ie; teachers etc) are there for her.

Good luck pal.

I think that they know deep down that their behaviour is stupid. They think it makes them look all big and macho but calling them out and calling them immature is what they hate.

Detention doesn't work, I think you have to use mind games with them

I had one great teacher who was really friendly to us less popular kids, the ones who actually tried in class, compared to the dicks who would sit at the back and throw **** around the classroom.. and this boy in my class had an older sister who was also a bit of an oddball and there was some ridiculous story floating around that she'd had a sexual encounter with two guys and a hockey stick... anyway, these girls were speaking about it really loudly and obviously embarrassing the poor guy and the teacher just cut them down in class so badly and asked them how they'd feel if the whole class spoke about their sex lives in such graphic detail right there and then, and it shut the whole back row up and they didn't say a thing for the rest of the lesson, nor did they ever say anything about that boy or his family ever again in class.

That's maybe just a rare example but I will never forget that lesson, I don't know if it was professional or not but I certainly respected my teacher even more so after that and I'm sure that the boy appreciated it more than anything.

Make sure you deal with your sister before the bully. Try give her a feeling of utter and true acceptance. Try build her confidence and make her know that nothing anyone say's can affect her true self and shouldn't.

Then try tackle the bullying. Often people come out of bullying stronger people, or they can become bullies themselves. Make sure she realises that she is targeted because she is special, because she is worth it, and because they can feel she is a threat/better than them. If she comes out of this stronger it will not have all been a bad thing. A girls confidence can be destroyed though so I think the main issue should be quickly rebuilding it.

I wouldn't suggest at all resorting to violence though.

One of her teachers was my form Tutor and we always had a good relationship etc and I know he's a great person to help her out. I could probably go with her to at least tell him as he's handled so many issues like it back when I was in school. This week is going to be so long though.

Corner him, and threaten him. Don't hit him.

See this is what I mean. Teacher should be allowed to knock these assholes down. Obviously not all the time, it'd loose the affect, but when you embarrass the kid and they have nothing to say it's the worst thing in the world for them

Counselling would be a good idea if she wanted to after having the courage to speak out.

A few people I know from the College I used to go to had personal issues and it really helped them out.

Yeah I agree with Charlie - while the bully might be a total dick, he's not going to be sitting at home crying his eyes out about what he's saying. Your sister is the main priority here. I don't know what he's been saying about her but I can imagine it will be the kind of thing that makes her doubt herself, maybe even hate herself - don't let that happen. Reassure her that she's better than the bully, that she's pretty, she's smart and all of the other great qualities that she surely is and convince her she doesn't deserve to hear any less. And keep at it. Maybe get a couple of your friends to do it too without letting your sister know you've told them. It's amazing what compliments from other people can do for your self esteem!

Its nice she told you or you noticed ...at 19 im sure you have your own stuff to do.
Its good its the holidays you can talk and plan how she wants it to go without any pressure. Get the FB/phone evidence, and then maybe she could write a sealed letter to her head of year about the rest?
If she thinks your mam would freak out you could speak to her first?

Hope everything goes well.

As a side-note...I also think that the mindsets and mental states of bullies should be investigated more. I mean if you ask me, you've got to have very low levels of empathy in order to able to actually bully someone. Bullies themselves have issues of self-depreciation and they use belittling others in order to make themselves feel better, again...not some most normal people do. I honestly do think it takes a certain kind of person to bully, obviously you're not born that way, but it's definitely some sort of issue up there...quite clearly they aren't on the same wave length as most people.

Worse is when you are put in detention along with the bully in the same enclosed space.

KA... I have to say, I have total respect for you and the way in which you are looking out for your little sister. It's heartwarming to hear under pretty awful circumstances.

Is this guy related to gangs in any way? As in, the big citires post code culture kind of thing?

Thats amazing. I love teachers like that bolded. Too many try be 'cool' and 'in the know how' and ignore the 1s trying to achieve something.

Nah.

She showed me how he looks like. He looks like your everyday kid. He's quiet big for his age which angers me more considering he is already older than her.

That's alright then. Probably won't have much of a backlash if he was put in his place by a teacher/a parent

..I haven't read through all of the replies..this is a hard one....
I don't know how she would feel..about you both taking to parents together...and then to the school..but that isn't an easy thing to do..but this can't just be ignored..and you can't and shouldn't try to deal with it on your own..and violence is never the answer..it only leads to more violence often
...as cliche as this is..I think you should try to work out a way..that you can both tell a parent together..and then it's going to be..one step at a time..you can't think about any if's or but's or consequences..otherwise there's very little chance of a resolve..and problems like this can only be tackled a little bit at a time..she's reached out to you..and given you her trust..so you can't ignore that..but you shouldn't try to deal with it either..not alone..and not with violence or threats..because if that all went wrong..it could be worse for her as well..and you would feel responsible..
....try to persuade her to tell your parents...together

Go comfront him to get to lay off. If that doesn't work, if you're solid enough, beat the crap out of him. If you're not solid enough, get someone solif enough to beat the crap out of him.

I think people bully for different reasons and no they can't have empathy at all..I think some bullies really don't have much good in their lives at all..and they feel the need to 'have a sense of contol' over something..it could be anything..an eating disorder maybe..but if they find their bullying is effective and it gives them that sense of control..then that's what they'll pursue..with no empathy for the victim..they can't allow themselves to feel that..because they need to keep that control.
..and I think some people are just big and strong enough to do it..or have others that will back them..and they haven't got much going on in their lives...and they all think it's a bit of a laugh..frightening someone..
..there's probably loads of reasons people bully..but certainly none of them can feel empathy for the victims..otherwise they'd have to stop..and they probably don't want to

I don't know if threatening them will help, if your sister can just show that it doesn't get to her and they'll soon stop.

Kids grow up, but unfortunately bullying happens.

yes, great idea. And when does it stop then ..... when the fathers end up getting involved, then the next biggest largest uncle then they all get done for street brawls and assault etc.:rolleyes:

I'm in agreement with the majority on this issue, violence is a definite nono.

Does the school have a mentor(s). My son has suffered from bullying and went to the school mentor and confided in her, feels less formal than telling a teacher. It does seriously need to be nipped in the bud.

I feel really strongly about all issues of bullying, having suffered from it myself back in my own school years, and there wasn't the support then that is on offer now. I used to get told to "ignore it" and "toughen up". Very little was done, and it's not just a cliche, the effects of bullying on your self esteem can stay with you for a long time, even the rest of your life, and that's no exaggeration.

I know most schools today have anti bullying policies and awareness campaigns, but it's still not enough. When bullying is ongoing, other people tend to turn a blind eye, maybe because they are afraid that if they stand up for the victim, they will in turn become a target. I would personally always stand up for someone I saw being bullied, and this is the attitude that needs instilling into todays young people. Bullying will never be completely eradicated unfortunately, but not enough gets done.

Leon, in regards to the Cyber/Text Bullying, well that gives you evidence against this boy, and if the school has Police Special Constables assigned to it, again as with mentors a lot of schools do these days, then they should/could be made aware of this. My son, quite recently, had comments of a sexual nature made on his facebook page, and as a result was taunted severely by several no-marks for a sustained period of time. We have a good relationship and he told me what was going on, it took time but it got dealt with, and stopped. Kids over the age of ten can have acceptable behaviour sanctions placed on them and their parents can also be held to account for their behaviour if it doesn't stop, as a lot of the time it's the attitude of the parent's that makes the child the way they are (not in every case, but a lot) A parent should be responsible for moulding their children into decent human beings and far too often these days, they just don't give a feck. Makes my blood boil.

:hug: I hope it all gets resolved, and your sister is lucky to have you, you clearly care about her very much :)

It's just my opinion - which I'm allowed. :p

Didn't say you weren't. I inferred it was a lousy bit of advice - didn't say a word about you not being allowed an opinion. :p

Fair enough.... :)

:spin:

Still think it says much for KA that his sister was able to speak with him and open up to him about it - and of his concern and his way of tackling it re going to speak to the teacher that he knows well from previous - something incredibly lovely about that.

Don't threaten him
Just tell him to fuk off and leave your sister alone.. plain as
He'll feel scared and back off
The school can't say sh!t about that cuz you're just giving a warning.

Would it be possible to talk to this boys parents? No one deserves to be bullied it's horrible,it makes you want to lash out,but be bigger than that, have a private word with her school and ask them top keep an eye out although i do know some schools are pretty useless at this sort of thing,I hope it gets sorted nothing worse than being unhappy at school,I probably would have a word with HIM too.

STAB THEM!!!! arhhh

This is a really hard situation as you never know which way it could go. When my sister was being bullied I went and had a go at the girls with a few choice vicious words and they left her alone. Not sure if this would work on a bloke tho..

Take a gun to school...

If pointy objects are going to be involved: best they go the full hog and completely disembowel the guy. If a job's worth doing, it's worth doing right.

May as well get hung for a sheep than a lamb and all that.


(and yes... I am kidding on). I'm sure KA has picked the best advice he feels is relevant. This type of 'advice' ....isn't.

aww this is really sad :sad:

i hope it stops and she feels better soon cannot stand bullies especially when its boys picking on girls just seems worse idk why

Im sorry to hear about this King Anton, I hope this issue gets sorted out as I have suffered from bullying myself in the past.

I don't have a younger Sister so I will go with if it happens to my Niece when she's older.

If my Niece was bullied, I would get my friends to come with me to get the bastard up the wall and threaten to kill him if he bullied her again.

I don't think you would want to take that advice but that's what I would do as I wouldn't like some **** bullying my Niece.

I hope it gets sorted out King Anton and if he carries on then just send your friends on him.

Do not use violence if possible. I had a situation very similar when i was 18. 15 year old sis was being bullied by a couple of girls in her year, was coming in with bruises every day...didnt want teachers/parents to know because it would get worse if she got known as a grass...to cut a long story short, i got sick of her always being upset and kicked 7 shades of crap out of the pair of them. Never will forget how good it felt, until the police showed up the next day.

That said, i only got a warning(somehow), and my sis didnt get bullied again. And even if I had been locked up for a bit, I would still do it all over again. Those bitches deserved it.

She's agreed to speak to the teacher who knows me when she goes back. She said she would tell my mum, but after the teacher finds out. Dunno what difference that makes, but it's something at least. I've also got ma friend's younger bro to keep an eye on her during break time as he's in Year 11.



Thanks for the feedback, once again.:)

You sound like the type of brother I'd have love to have if I had had one.

you are an absolute credit to yourself and your family KA. An absolute credit.

Your welcome King Anton, you have done well in this situation as I beat up the guy that bullied my friend last year.:joker:

Good job KA, and hopefully the bully gets his just desserts.