All the women getting confessionals and all the men getting none is... I guess a fair trade for no opening titles/too much Boston Rob?

Half of the female cast getting strong personal content in the space of eight minutes :love:

aaand Jason is immediately getting the Nick Wilson edit

Noura REFUSING to look anywhere near the direction in the camera in her confessionals :love:

A whole scene about cumin? Joslyn Fox her impact!

oh so Probst's "we're telling women's stories this year!" press spiel was code for "we're doing a #MeToo storyline half an hour into the premiere"

"If she's at Final Tribal Council, she's winning the million dollars. We need to take her out"

[Michelle Visage "it's... a piece of fabric" voice] it's... day two

...oh god, the Boston Rob 'n' Sandra segment is going to be twenty minutes long, isn't it

Let's see how effectively they sell "decorated Olympic swimmer is supposed to be grateful for the life lessons given to her by Boston Rob Mariano" as a concept, shall we?

Survivor: Island of the Glorified YouTube Tutorials

Within a year this entire show will just be an hour of fire-making challenges per week

An artist's rending of Elizabeth's eyes during that entire pre-Tribal segment: 0.0

- I love Chelsea after 1 confessional :love: Ohhh noooo
- Jason & Noura are kinda messy ass howls right now :joker: But on first impressions so far I feel like I like almost everyone on this tribe compared to the other tribe which ehhh I'm not so sure about as a whole yet :think:
- Ronnie seems like a pretty hilarious goof villain ashdgasjdkghdsg
- Rob: "She took the first offer not even thinking to question if I had something in my back pocket. I was prepared to up the ante but like every new Survivor player, they bite at the first opportunity" :joker:
- Elaine during FTC is great especially the thing about taking a pen and just remembering to vote her out in 20 days :joker: The sob story was a bit lame though, Ronnie's right about everyone having their backstory to getting there.
- "Was it this hard for you?" "**** no. I vote you out and that's it" ahhh good ol' Sandra :joker:
- I didn't think Vince had a chance of going but I wish it was him (figured Ronnie but maybe a bit of a chance of Elaine but either way they were both pretty good on this premiere)... Vince was kinda annoying. I like/liked Elaine & Ronnie had major potential from the bit they showed of him </3

Rob & Sandra's confessionals & commentary :love: Definitely happy with this twist adding air time from them because so far their air time already added a nice touch to this otherwise kiiinda average premiere :clap1:

Overall not the most thrilled with that. Hoping the BBUS finale was better.

Rob and Sandra having a Statler and Waldorf role at Tribal Council... keep it

I hope someone does a Heaven Afrika and falls through the stairs up to the voting booth

A boring ultra-strategic alpha male being blindsided over the gay guy and middle-aged woman on the bottom? We love to see it!

and if to somehow make things even worse, it was Jimmy Fallon's idea?!?!?

I enjoyed the premiere. Cutting out the initial marooning and landing them straight on their respective beaches was great for the editing. It was enjoyable to have the castaways routinely introduced one at a time through actual camp life interactions as opposed to introductory confessionals.

I'm definitely a fan of Vokai more than I am of Lairo... but I do think both tribes have interesting dynamics and I pray they don't rush into a tribal swap too soon so that we can be blessed with high-level character development and fully realized tribal dynamics.

Tbh I could do without the Island of the Idols segments. When I watch Survivor I care more for the social element and for character development than I do for game-changing twists. Didn't really care for Elizabeth's mission and I just found that placing a time limit on HIIs renders them pretty mediocre as a prize.

The chance element of who goes there is just stupid.

Would have preferred to keep the gameplayer, but the edit made it far from a surprise, Americans like being told who to root for.

I looked down at my phone for 30 seconds and then all of the sudden Chelsea found a HII. Survivor in a nutshell.

okay so Tommy SUCKS with his whole Teacher Tommy vs. Student Tommy and ~which lunch table will I sit at~ shtick. It's basically the answer to the "what if Dan Gheesling played Survivor instead of Big Brother 10?" question nobody ****ing asked.

Napalm Noura :love:

I need gifs of Tommy doing yoga for research purposes (speaking of which, Noura's yoga session being so good that it made Jack decide to switch careers :love:)

Kellee speaking for us all by questioning the point of the Island of the Idols :love: and somehow correctly naming one of Sandra Diaz-Twine's dogs isn't even the dumbest way an idol has been handed out on this show?

Kellee believing that bursting into tears and asking her tribemates to strip search her will ease their suspicions :love:

That felt very Morgan-from-Ghost-Island's boot

Sick af and meant to fall asleep ages ago but that simply wasn't happening. Enjoyed the episode nonetheless

Jason & Noura period :love: Chelsea finding an idol :love: Jason getting asked if he has an idol and he responds by looking down at himself/the ground and saying "I don't have anything :shrug:" as if it would be there if he actually had one :joker: I'd think that was a bit sus but still not as sus as Kellee's reaction coming back from IoI lolll... And idk Molly going actually surprised me and I loved it for Jason & Noura but I liked Molly a lot too </3 It should've been Jamal, meh @ him

Molly going looked predictable, did we even hear from her, we just saw her group looking smug, all the focus was on the two outsiders. It felt rushed wish they could have slightly longer episodes like the SA or AU ones may have.