L O L.

Why do fish live in saltwater?







Pepper makes them sneeze.

heheh like it!

The title of the thread is crap jokes that make you laugh...

Ok this is daft but I like it

baby balloon is scared one night so he gets into bed with mummy balloon and daddy balloon but theres not much room so baby balloon lets a bit of air out of daddy balloon, theres still not much room so he lets a bit of air out of mummy balloon, theres still no room so he lets a bit of air out of himself....this carries on till hes got enough room and he goes to sleep....In the morning hes woken up by his dad shouting "LOOK what you've gone and done! You've let me down, you've let your mother down, and most of all you've let yourself down!!"

" Teacher asks her class to use a sentence with the word contagious.
Mary puts up her hand and said my brother had chickenpox and there very contagioius. Tim puts up his hand and says my gran said theres a bug going around and its contagious. Little johnny puts up his hand and say my next door neighbours painting the garden fence with a 4 inch brush an my dad says it'l take the cuntagious

Teacher asks posh girl to use the word improper in a sentance,

She says " my dad was digging up potatoes in the garden with a spade that was improper he should have been using a fork "

Teacher says " thank you " then asks the more tarty girl to use the word improper in a sentance.

She Says " when me and my boyfried were having sex last night and his balls were slapping against my ass i knew he was in proper "

Haha But Now Hes Dead So He Cant See That Happen Or Can He?

Knock Knock
Who's There?
Justin
Justin who?
Just In Time for Tea

When I heard that I laughedm for 10 continious minutes.

There were 3 men that found a magic slide, when you went down it all you had to do was shout your wish and you would land in it at the bottom.
The first man shouted "MONEY!", and landed in millions of pounds.
The second man shouted "WOMEN!" and landed in a pile of women.
The third man shouted "WEEEEEEE!!!".




A blonde suspects her hubby fooling around. She follows him to his misteress's house one day, busts open the door and puts the gun to her own head.
Her husband says, "Please honey, dont do this!".
"Shut up" she says. "You're next!".



Why did the pervert cross the road?
He couldn't get his cock out of the chicken.

Why did the french cat win the swimming race?
Because the un, deax, trois, quatre, cinq.

Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea-weed.

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other?
Eileen.

Whats the difference between Kerry Katona and Jordan?
About 8 pints.

Whats got 75 balls and screws old ladies?
Bingo.

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. 'What the hell is this?' says the barman. 'Some kind of joke?'.

What do you call an Aardvark thats just been beaten up?
A vark.

What can you say to a married man who's just had sex with his wife?
Anything, he's asleep.

Two buckets of sick are walking along one day when one of them stops and starts crying. The other bucket says, 'What on earth is the matter?'. The cry-baby bucket of sick replies 'I was brought up in that alley'.

I have a racist one and Feel Bad for Saying it. I am not Racist but I couldn't help laughing a little. God, I feel so mean!

[spoil]What do Black Men and Bikes have in common?

They both work with a chain on them.[/spoil]

Watches Karma Decrease.

q: what do you call a woman in the distance?
a: dot.

q: why did the girl fall off her bike?
a: her dad threw a fridge at her

._.

whats brown an sticky?

a brown stick


how did the little boy fall off his bike?

someone threw a fridge at him...

i so posted that one first xDDD